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194 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of WINTER REST  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing in the
*Snow1**Burstb* WINTER FUN *Burstb**Snow1*
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Review Raid

*Snow2**Burstb**Burstb**Snow2*


First Impressions For a very short poem, these four lines are full of vivid imagery. The word choices are excellent and convey the atmosphere of the scene.


Form/Rhyme/Technical The poem is one quartet with a rhyme scheme of aabb. The near rhyme of hung and drum works well. I wanted to insert another syllable in the third line, as in "the branches..." etc. The comma in the first line is useful and made me miss the inclusion of commas in other lines where I felt a natural pause when reading.


In Conclusion I like the imagery of this poem and the rhythm and rhyme could easily make it a poem one might memorize. It creates for the reader sights, sounds and sensations, making it a full experience. I enjoyed reading this poem.

Any suggestions made are merely my opinion and do not reflect on my enjoyment in the work as a whole.






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2
2
Review of Frosty Morning  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am reviewing in the
*Snow1**Burstb* WINTER FUN *Burstb**Snow1*
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Review Raid

*Snow2**Burstb**Burstb**Snow2*



First Impressions As I sit here on a cold January day in New England, I found myself right inside your poem. My feet are cold, too.

Tone The tone of the poem is whimsical and engaging.

Form/Rhymes/Technical The poem is written in a form that reinforces the feelings of the author- both physical and emotional - through repetition of key lines that describe the cold and its effects.

The rhymes land well and the rhythm of the poem keeps it flowing to the end.


I found this poem to be an amusing look at something that all of us in colder climes experience on a cold, winter's day. I liked it a lot, even if it didn't make my feet any warmer. Great job! Keep Writing!






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3
3
Review of Little by little  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am reviewing your poem "Little by little. Please keep in mind that ALL of the views expressed are purely my own, any suggestions are meant to be helpful, but you are entitled to reject any and all of my opinions. I hope you find something helpful or encouraging.

*StarfishP* FIRST IMPRESSIONS: The opening lines really grabbed my attention and kept me reading. I loved the imagery of whittling away defenses likened to whittling on a stick, because it's not for attack purposes, it is to create something more beautiful in many cases.

*StarfishB* VOICE/TONE: This is a poem of tender expressions about falling in love and building a relationship. It is written with emotion and gratitude. I am sure that the feelings expressed in this poem would resonate with a lot of readers.

*StarfishR* FORM: The poem is free verse which is a great choice. Too much emotion in too many rhymes often makes light of the emotions and this poem struck just the right notes for me.

*StarfishY* FINAL THOUGHTS This is a sweet, heartfelt little poem that says a lot about relationships and how "little by little" can build a lasting relationship. The last two lines wrap it up succinctly but with great feeling:

"There is no doubt that little by little we found each other
soulmates forever bound"

I thought it was lovely.


KEEP ON WRITING!


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4
4
Review of Springtime  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I ran across your poem in Read & Review. I wanted to jot down a few lines to tell you what I liked about it.

I read the poem before looking at the title or the explanation and I didn't realize it was an acrostic at first. That says a lot about the quality of the writing.

Normally, I am not the biggest fan of acrostic poems because often the effort is put into finding words to fulfill the requirements of the word(s) in question and the poetry of the thing ends up being secondary. That is not the case here.

The imagery of spring is vivid in the poem's appreciation of spring and the reader is filled with similar appreciation.

Favorite line: "Imaginings of love bloom with the flowers"

This is a sweet and sentimental poem full of the loveliness of springtime. I enjoyed the transition from snow to spring as I read along.

Keep Writing!



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5
5
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I am reviewing your poem "The Ode Master Writes. Please keep in mind that ALL of the views expressed are purely my own, any suggestions are meant to be helpful, but you are entitled to reject any and all of my opinions. I hope you find something helpful or encouraging.

*StarfishP* FIRST IMPRESSIONS:There's an atmosphere created here from the first line of this poem to the last syllable. It draws the reader into the world of the Ode Master.

*StarfishB* VOICE/TONE:The poet helps us observe and feel, there is a sense of age, the Ode Master has trembling handwriting. There is a sense of loss and grief, the voices of those who have died are sounding in the Ode Master's head, as he writes odes to those who have passed under the scythe of the grim reaper.

*StarfishR* FORM:The poem is written in free verse and the author uses it to great advantage in painting a vivid scene with such wonderful lines as
"As smoke blows across a paper moon
leaving charcoal smudges
on the walls".
Definitely my favorite line.

*StarfishY* FINAL THOUGHTS I enjoyed reading this poem. It created a well-drawn character and world, bringing it to life with vivid imagery. Very well done.


KEEP ON WRITING!


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6
6
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am reviewing your poem "A Soldier's Prayer. Please keep in mind that ALL of the views expressed are purely my own, any suggestions are meant to be helpful, but you are entitled to reject any and all of my opinions. I hope you find something helpful or encouraging.

*StarfishP* FIRST IMPRESSIONS: The intro explaining that this was an actual event made me read it with care. The tension and atmosphere of danger is there, and brings the reader into the events of the poem.

*StarfishB* VOICE/TONE: The poem is a first-person narration of a harrowing event that could have resulted in injury or death which makes it gripping to read.

*StarfishR* FORM: The poem is in rhymed quatrains with a rhyme scheme of aabb. The rhymes flow well and are consistent.

*StarfishY* FINAL THOUGHTS True stories can make for some of the most interesting and engaging poetry. The poem starts with a prayer and with faith, takes the reader through an event that brings the poet close to death, and then ends with faith and hope, restoring the reader and the poet. I felt the authenticity of all the emotions and the thoughts expressed in this poem. The authenticity is what gives the poem its appeal and it leaves a lasting impression on the reader. Well done.


KEEP ON WRITING!


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7
7
Review of Good-bye Despair  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."

This is an emotional piece that is something between a farewell note and an exculpatory essay. This relationship deteriorates not only because one person is always being grim and unhappy, but also because the other party in the relationship needs to save his/her own sanity and avoid the traps of depression.

This poem highlights the difficulties of being with someone who suffers from irrational fears and lack of hope:

         "Love cannot live without light,
         It cannot survive depression's blight."


The title's good-bye is not just to the relationship, but to the feelings that person brought to the relationship which are unhealthy for both of them.




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8
8
Review of The Vampire Blues  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."

I must admit that I really love flash fiction. It's such a challenge to fit a whole story, characters, conflict and resolution all in a limited number of words. This flash fiction pretty much does all that in a tidy little story of paranormal romance.

A lot of people will identify with both the vampire and his librarian in that sometimes the modern world goes too fast and lacks charm. There's plenty of charm in this tale of a budding romance.

I started to write that I wanted more of a twist at the end, seeing the final declaration of "I don't have forever" as being poignant and sad since their romance is doomed to end and then I slapped myself upside the head as I realized THAT is the twist. Our hero is a vampire... oh dear, I nearly missed that brilliant ending.

Now I have more of a smile on my face than I did when I started writing this review. Great story!




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9
9
Review of October Revels  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."

I liked the fun rhymes and images in this seasonal poem. All the hallmarks of Fall and Halloween are here.

I especially liked the image of October as a golden haze. It definitely feels that way for those of us who live where the leaves change around October.

The poem has a bouncy rhythm that would make it fun for adults and children to recite. There's only the non-scary side of the holiday here, so there's a happy feeling throughout. A fun read.



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10
10
Review of Whispering Walls  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."

The superstitions regarding the number thirteen are many and this story uses those fears to advantage in setting up the reader for the ultimate twist in the tale of Flint Trent.

The reader has no reason to doubt Flint as we are told of his intentions to disprove the superstition and that it can be done by purposely employing the number thirteen in everything he does. The house/museum devoted to the superstition doesn't seem that odd or out of place. However, the uneasiness begins when Flint is asked for his friends' names. I had no idea why this happened at the time it happened, early in the story. It felt eerie but mysterious. Once we know the real story, this makes sense, but is even more eerie and scary when we know why the question was asked.

I was genuinely surprised at the twist in the plot at the end and the realization that this ritual was all part of Flint trying to erase the curse that was now on him forever.

Creepy, spooky and spine-tingling, the reader feels the wrongness of the walls that whisper in the vanishing room. An effective use of the prompt. Great title that fits well into the storyline. An enjoyable read.



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11
11
Review of Autumn Ebbing  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."

*Star* First Impressions: From the first line, this poem creates an atmosphere and feeling of Autumn. I love the "crispy morning nose" that immediately tells us what time of year it is. There are so many delicious descriptions of the season using unusual and fresh adjectives, painting lovely pictures with words, involving all the senses and immersing the reader in the changes occurring in nature. I won't mention them all, but I like the leaves "complaining" when trod upon and the grates of flame logging the nights of Autumn. Very clever.

*StarB* Favorite Part: The entire second stanza.
It's excellent in every way, but especially commendable for describing the Autumn sky without using a list of colors, but instead firing the imagination of the reader.


*StarB* Voice/Tone The voice is one of observation and appreciation of the subject.

*StarBl* I really enjoyed this poem and not just because it is about my favorite season. It tackles a subject that has been written about non-stop for the last two months on this site, and yet manages a fresh angle and tone.




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12
12
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."



TITLE: The story doesn't feel like it's the cat's tale as it's not really about the cat, nor does the cat narrate. It does keep the reader focused on the cat, however, which sets up the twist at the end rather nicely.

PLOT: The plot is well-constructed with good pacing and keeps the reader eager to find out what happens next, never giving away too much and sustaining the suspense throughout.


FAVORITE PART or LINE:"...the words were musty with age, resurrected from some ancient, forgotten tongue."

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION:If there were any problems, I was obviously too engrossed in the story to notice.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:Despite my personal doubts that Myrddin will get very far in his quest for Mankind's Better Nature, I found the story just eerie enough to captivate. I love a story with a twist at the end, so the revelation of his true identity and his true relationship to the cat was a satisfying surprise ending. A very enjoyable read.



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13
13
Review of Dining With Death  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am reviewing your poem "Dining With Death. Please keep in mind that ALL of the views expressed are purely my own, any suggestions are meant to be helpful, but you are entitled to reject any and all of my opinions. I hope you find something helpful or encouraging.

*StarfishP* FIRST IMPRESSIONS: From the moment I began reading, I felt a bit uncomfortable which is exactly how one should feel if dining with death.

*StarfishB* VOICE/TONE: There is some resignation to inevitability here, but for the main part, the tone is anxious, worried and warning the reader. It creates the atmosphere of danger.

*StarfishR* FORM: The poem is structured of rhyming quatrains with an abab rhyme scheme. The rhymes flow well and the rhythm of the poem is consistent.

*StarfishY* FINAL THOUGHTS I am not sure if all the descriptions of death are equally strong, but the overall feeling of the poem is one of danger and fear. It has an emotional impact on the reader. Well done.


KEEP ON WRITING!


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14
14
Review of Procrastination  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I came across your story in Read & Review.

This is a short story of about flash fiction length. It appears to have been written for a contest, but there's no indication of the prompt or any other guidelines. Also, it is classified as fan fiction but I don't know what it is based on, so I have to review the story based only on what I can learn from the story itself.

The story centers on Gary Stu who is a 10 year old boy who finds it hard to fit in with other kids. He loves animals but his mother won't let him have any pets. While at the library, he comes in contact with the library cat, a white Persian cat.

At the end of the story, Gary turns into a white Persian cat.

MY IMPRESSIONS:
I didn't feel that it was clear why Gary turned into a cat. Did his interaction with the cat in the library cause it? What was the pink goo and where did it come from? I think that the "why" of the situation is really important for the reader. Perhaps this relates to the fan fiction reference? The description of Gary turning into a cat was well written and I could envision it.

I like the idea of an unhappy boy turning into a cat, but I really wanted to know more about why.

KEEP ON WRITING!


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15
15
Review of Quilted Memories  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story {item:}. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing

TITLE:The meaning of the title becomes clear as we read the story of Lydia and her personal history.

PLOT: The story is a kind of "day in the life" sort of story and so doesn't follow a plot line that requires resolution of a conflict.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:Lydia suffers from Alzheimer's and so getting to know her is difficult, we can't learn much from her inner dialogue. Enter Margie, the caregiver who supplies information that Lydia can't, and also helps Lydia remember. This way we learn about both characters through this device.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: I like the way Margie takes care to name each object for Lydia, it shows that she is trying to keep her from slipping into dementia for as long as possible. I also liked the image of Lydia being afraid of the shadows from the plant on her legs, as it helps the reader see into Lydia's state of mind.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION:If there were any problems, I didn't notice them.

SUGGESTIONS:It's a minor point, but in the first sentence, we are told Lydia is in a wheelchair "letting the sun bathe her in warmth". However, it is not clear that Lydia could do anything about her position since Margie moves her and Lydia doesn't move herself, so not sure the word "letting" gives an appropriate picture.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is a sympathetic and realistic portrayal of a woman losing her memory and herself to Alzheimer's. Anyone who has witnessed this in their own family or circle will understand how difficult it is to watch the deterioration. The author makes a good attempt at trying to explain what is going on in Lydia's mind and how certain familiar things bring flashes of memory back for short periods. The story leaves Lydia in a moment when she is remembering love, her husband and daughter and so avoids leaving the reader in all the sadness, but gives us a bright spot to concentrate on, even if it is fleeting.


Keep On Writing!

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16
16
Review of Reluctant Santa  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story {item:}. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title is certainly appropriate and describes the main point of the story - Brad is definitely a reluctant Santa.

PLOT: The plot follows a familiar theme but introduces new problems and conflicts to keep it interesting.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: Brad undergoes a change of heart after e becomes Santa but returns to being reluctant once the night's trip is over. We can imagine Brad fairly well from his actions and reactions in the story. We are not told much about Santa, but everyone knows pretty much all they need to know about Santa before they start reading the story, so unless the story was going to recreate Santa in a nonn-traditional way, not a lot of character development is needed.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: "Come Dancer, come Prancer, come stupid and wicked ..." This line really tells us how Brad feels about taking over for Santa.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: There are a couple of typos with missing letters or the failure to capitalize "I" as in "i'll" but nothing serious or that interferes with reading or understanding. My reviews are often riddled with typos so I will expect the same courtesy of overlooking them, thanks.

SUGGESTIONS: My only suggestion would be to expand on it a little but there's the possibility it was written to a word count. So I will only say that if you wanted to expand it, there's a good story here as the foundation for a longer piece.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: I liked the twist that Santa is brought back to Brad's house and the use of the old pick up truck instead of the sleigh. When the truck disintegrates and Brad gets his teeth knocked out, it leads to a very amusing line for Brad and a laugh at the end of the story. An amusing, light-hearted holiday tale that made for an enjoyable read.

Keep On Writing!

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17
17
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I came across your story while reading and reviewing so I thought I would take a moment to share a few thoughts on it.

First let me welcome you to WDC. I hope you will enjoy being here.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Your story is about a little girl who gets some dolls as a present but the dolls do something scary and no one believes her. It reminded me of a story about dolls that my daughter and her friend read at a sleepover when she was a little girl and they were very scared by it. For that reason, your story appealed to me.

PLOT: The plot revolves around Brooke's efforts to get others to believe her story about the dolls' heads flying around. Everyone thinks she is either telling lies or that she is crazy. Finally, Brooke arranges for another person to see the dolls lose their heads.

SUGGESTIONS: I would have liked to find out more about the dolls and find out the reason that their heads came off and flew around. I think the story would be great with a strong ending.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS I felt like this was a great start to a story, but it felt like only part of a story. It could be improved with a backstory on the dolls - are they possessed? cursed? Why did the grandmother have them?

Thanks for writing this enjoyable read. I hope to see more from you and maybe even a sequel on the dolls.

KEEP ON WRITING!

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18
18
Review of Do Not Be Him  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title tells us immediately to whom the poem is being addressed. And like the poem to follow, it tells us that the poet is afraid of past mistakes and disappointments happening again in a new relationship.

*CheckR* FORM/RHYTHM/RHYME:The poem is written in quatrains. that follow an abcb rhyme scheme. There are many near rhymes that satisfy without taking over the poem. There is a definite rhythm and flow that comes from the repetition of "Do not".


*CheckP* IMAGERY: The poem uses expressive language to evoke the feelings of being in a bad relationship, such as "suffocate" and "bury". This is effective to convey these emotions.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
Be instead what I do not know
Be instead true love
For I know only of the things
That I state above

These lines give the poem hope, and take us from the past into the future.



*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: I think this poem conveys very relatable experiences and emotions. While it begins speaking of insecurity and fear, it brings the reader to the hope of the new relationship its possibilities. I think many readers will see elements that they can identify with.


Keep On Writing!

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19
19
Review of poems  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I came across your poems while I was browsing Read & Review. I wanted to write a few lines to tell you my impressions.

I see you are new to WDC, so let me encourage you to spend some time reading the Writing.com 101 which you can find in the left hand column of your screen under Writing.com Tools. It contains a lot of good info to get you started.

I see you have posted several poems here in one item. I would highly recommend that you post each as a separate item so that they can be reviewed separately. But let me address a couple of the longer poems.

Your poem entitled Love Eternal is quite beautiful in describing a deep devotion and does a good job of conveying the depth of emotion and desire to protect the object of the poet's love. It contains a few spelling errors (or typos, not sure). Fixing these will greatly improve readability.

The poems Rose Thorns and Dagger are similar - they express powerful concepts in vivid imagery but suffer from spelling errors which will make it difficult for the reader to appreciate the poem as they should.

I think your poetry contains strong imagery and could be made more powerful with some editing. This reader felt the emotional impact of the poems. Keep writing and share more of your work. It is best to post each poem individually for the best chance of being read and reviewed.



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20
20
Review of I See the Blue  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title is very appropriate and tells us that the author sees the importance of the police.

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is in stanzas of free verse.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The poem does not have a rhyme scheme but establishes a familiar rhythm with a repeating line - "He has chosen" - and tells us what the person in uniform has chosen. He has chosen to be a friend, to protect,etc., and finally to die.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The poem sets up a different scene in each stanza using descriptive and evocative language to describe the dangers faced by those in blue and the times in which they are there to rescue and protect.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
"Watchful warrior, keeper of peace
Head bowed, silent in prayer
Vigilance maintained, honor respected
He has chosen to die for me today
I am safe, protected and shielded"

These are very powerful lines

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a powerful and emotional tribute to those who wear the uniform. There is a true appreciation for those in blue and sincere gratitude for their sacrifice. It was refreshing to read something so unabashedly supportive. But more than that, this poem was well written and moving.


Keep On Writing!

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21
21
Review of Bevelled  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I came across this through Read & Review and thought I would write a few lines as a review and to tell you my impressions.

First, I am not sure if the first line is part of the story, or an actual question to the reader or reviewer? If the former, I am not sure how it relates to the story. If the latter, then I will attempt to respond.

The writing is good and the atmosphere is set so well by the descriptions of the scene and the inner narrative of the main character. It is tense and dark.

There's a feeling of being dropped into the middle of a suspenseful story, arriving at a moment when everything that has been building up the tension has suddenly boiled over into this situation, but we don't know why. The detachment the shooter feels towards the victim is compared to the experience of the spider in the bathtub, and we wonder if this is a paid hit job. Certainly, the idea of calling someone on the phone from a shop and asking mundane questions like someone establishing an alibi appears deliberate.

I found the entire piece intriguing and it made me want to know more, to find out the "before and after". I felt like this might be a part of a longer story. If it isn't, it could certainly be expanded into one.

Keep Writing!




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22
22
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.
.

*CheckB* TITLE: I like the title as it relates to the last verse of the poem. The poem takes us into the wind and explores its sound.

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is a Tri-Jan, a form of poetry I was not familiar with. The author includes a comprehensive explanation of the form and its rhyme scheme.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes in this poem flow melodically and help create the sound that the poem is trying to convey. They are subtle and go from being quiet and landing softly on the ear to surrounding the reader with the sounds of the wind.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The imagery is vivid and evocative.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):"Quietly it fell, nonetheless, Ominous, without sound." This is a perfect description of a silent but steady snowfall. It makes no noise, demands no attention, but is very dangerous.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: None

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: At first, I questioned the placement of the explanation of the form, its syllable count, line count and rhyme scheme at the top of the page. But honestly, there are so many rules and counts that this lovely and evocative poem became much more than that.

It became an expert use of language and imagery that it can both accomplish this complicated structure and create a storm that the reader finds himself experiencing on every line.

I think this poetic form was executed brilliantly.


Keep On Writing!

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23
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Review of Rugged  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't expect to run into a limerick that leaves me in awe of the skill it employs, but then I read this limerick.

I don't know who told you that "tugged" is two syllables (news to me) but even if they were totally crazy, they did you a favor because it resulted in this extremely clever limerick. I did read it both ways and it made smile both times.

What can I say? One brilliant idea, no matter what inspired it.



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24
24
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi. I ran across your poem in the Read & Review and wanted to write a few lines to tell you my impressions of it.

The poem is one that tells the story of how one relationship broke up. The fault is on the narrator of the poem, who forgot a birthday. The poem tells us that this is not the first time and yet he expected her to be waiting as she always did.

The understanding of the tears that his neglect caused makes the reader feel the grief on both sides of this break-up. But the realization hits him too late and he has hurt her too much.

Overall Impressions: This is a free verse poem that tells a poignant story and doesn't try to excuse the behavior of the partner who forgot the birthday, and is honest about the way people sometimes take each other for granted. A lesson for all to treasure their relationships or risk losing them. I felt this was well done and enjoyed reading this poem.

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25
25
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title expresses the poet's feelings about summer, sums up the poem's meaning and is appropriate for the poem.

*CheckR* FORM: This is a structured poem that is written in rhyming quatrains with an a/b/c/b rhyme scheme.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes flow well and add to the lyrical quality of the poem.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The imagery is vivid. The reader gets the sense that the poet really revels in these summer scenes that are described here with such detail and enthusiasm.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): The entire fourth stanza is lovely. I can envision the graceful movements of the weeping willows from the description here.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: The use of the word "doth" in the first stanza seems out of place. "Doth" is the third person singular of the verb "to do", so it is mismatched with a first person subject which should be "I in awe do spy". Besides, the poem has such a nice, melodic flow that it doesn't need the addition of old-fashioned verbs IMHO.

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This poem is a celebration of nature and is an appealing mixture of vivid images and a feeling of joy at the sight of them. I enjoyed this poem very much.


Keep On Writing!

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