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Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of In the Clouds  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I chose this story, because I'm a big fan of flash fiction, and I rarely see 100 word stories. I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful story in 300 words or less, but you made it seem effortless. Great job.

I love the plot of this story, and it was easy to imagine the scene that you described. First person narration was a great choice for this piece, and I found myself chuckling as I thought of the poor narrator stuck in the giant marshmallow. The ending was perfect!

*Starb*


My Suggestions: I would suggest editing to get rid of some of the ellipses. One instance is fine, but I found the use of so many in such a short piece distracting.

Also, including the contractions, I noticed 6 instances of the word "had" in a 100 word story. Since you have to make every word count in such a short piece, I would replace some of these with other words.

*Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this short story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be dropping by your port again soon. I hope you had a wonderful 15th WDC anniversary!

*Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
27
27
Review of School Spirit  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I love reading and writing flash fiction, and I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful story in 300 words or less. You made it seem effortless here.

Your story was interesting and original, and I was taken back to the days of high school as I read...homecoming activities, proms, etc. You have a great writing style, and you captured my interest at the beginning of the story and held it throughout. I saw that you have numerous flash fiction stories in your port, and I will definitely be checking out more of them.

*Starb*


My Suggestions: Despite my best efforts, I have no suggestions to make this story better. Grammar, spelling, and punctuation are flawless, and I think the story is perfect as-is.

*Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this terrific short story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon. I hope you have a wonderful 11th WDC anniversary!

*Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
28
28
Review of The TEACUP  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, J.L. O'Dell ! I'm OOT™ and I'm honored to review your work on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

My Thoughts: I'm back with my third review, and I am happy to say that this is another excellent story. I got so caught up in the read that I couldn't believe it was almost a thousand words! That's definitely a compliment. My eyes were glued to the screen from the first sentence to the last word!

It appears from the bolded sentence at the end that you wrote this piece from a prompt sentence. You did a fantastic job! The story was interesting and original, and it was easy for me to empathize with the young, struggling couple and celebrate their good fortune with them. I almost want to make a trip to Goodwill to see if I can have similar luck! *Laugh*

It was a brilliant idea to make the reunion of the cup and saucer magical. And the fact that the fifty dollars was replaced soon after it was taken makes me think that the couple may be able to get ahead. I found Nick and Wendy to be likable characters, and I was happy with the luck they had as the story progressed.

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: The comma should be omitted after "was" in the second sentence of the first paragraph.

In the first sentence of the second paragraph, I suggest changing "you would find" to "we would find".

There were a couple of instances where a period should be replaced with a question mark:

"Weird. Isn’t it?"

"Still no ideas about the money?"

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: If this story was written for a contest, I can't imagine that it didn't win. I loved it! I'm thrilled that you won my package in the auction, because I'm thoroughly enjoying your writing. I'll be back with your fourth review soon.

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
29
29
Review of Intuition  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, 🌕 HuntersMoon ! I'm OOT™ and I'm honored to review your work on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

My Thoughts: Wow! I saw this entry in Charity's 10th Anniversary Contest, and I had to check it out. I've read many of your terrific poems, but I didn't realize you're an excellent storyteller as well!

Thriller/suspense is one of my favorite genres, and you delivered what you promised. You could even add "drama" as one of the genres, because I found myself getting emotional at various points in the story. The plot is interesting and rather unique, and you did a terrific job of making Sarah seem "real" to the reader. The ending was a complete surprise, and I loved it!

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: Despite my best effort, I could not find one thing to suggest to make this perfect piece better. Grammar, spelling and punctuation are flawless. There is absolutely nothing I would change.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this exceptional short story! I was captivated from the first sentence to the last word. I will definitely be stalking going back to your port and looking for more of your short stories. And congratulations on being a finalist for "Best Portfolio". It is very well-deserved!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
30
30
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hey there again, Alexis Hay ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

My Thoughts: I read and loved your other two stories, so I had to come back and check this one out. I loved it as well. I particularly like flash fiction that's 300 words or less (both reading and writing), and you do a superb job with it.

Ellie was an interesting character, and I like that the entire story took place in her holding cell. This story brought a lot of questions, mainly what caused her to kill her boyfriend and roommate, but the suspense worked well for this piece. The story was complete, and the ending was great. Good job!

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: I would change the first sentence to "Ellie knew where she was as soon as she opened her eyes." I think it reads better that way.

At the end of the second paragraph, I would change "as the panic filled" to "as panic filled her". It wouldn't interfere with your word count.

In this sentence, "...she began to stutter, as tears began blubbering over her cheeks.", you use the word "began" twice in close succession. I suggest changing it to "...she stuttered as tears began..."

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing another excellent story. You realize that you have to write more now, because I have already read every item in your port. *Laugh*. I will check often to see if you have come up with anything new.

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
31
31
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hey there, Alexis Hay ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

My Thoughts: I'm back for another review after learning that you write flash fiction in my favorite genre. I'm glad I returned, because I loved this little story! I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful story in 300 words or less, but you made it seem effortless here!

You made excellent use of the prompt words, and the story was original and horrific. It held my interest from beginning to end, and the ending was perfect!

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: Fancy anything you see?" he said asked.

"With that, he placed..."

"as soon as he slid it on" should be set off with commas.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing another terrific story. You are quickly becoming one of my favorite authors, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next. I'm glad you came to WDC!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
32
32
Review of "Tit-for-Tat"  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hey there, Alexis Hay ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

My Thoughts: I love flash fiction, and my favorite genre is horror, so this little story was right up my alley. In less that 500 words, you created a terrific story with an original plot, and interesting, believable characters. I'm sure that all of us women can relate to the horror of such an occurrence, but I also found the story a bit humorous.

You have a great writing style, and I was immediately drawn into the story. It was a bit difficult to empathize with Jenny, and I was somewhat glad to see Sia get her revenge in the end. *Smirk* I can easily see how this little gem placed first in SCREAMS!! Great job!

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: You spelled "agency" incorrectly at the end of the first sentence.

In the first sentence of the second paragraph, "businessmen" should be one word. Also in the second paragraph, "who's" should be "whose". "Who's" is a contraction for "who is".

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this well-written little horror story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon. I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to the WDC community! If there's ever anything I can do to help you along the way, please don't hesitate to email me!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
33
33
Review of Fog  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hey there, William Stafford ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

My Thoughts: This is a terrific short story! I love little horror stories, and this one was right up my alley. Although short, the story was complete and interesting, and it held my attention throughout.

Your descriptive writing made it easy for me to picture the scene you described. I like the way you compared the dense fog to thick green soup. First person narration worked well for this piece, and it made it easy for me to feel I was part of the story and empathize with the narrator. The ending was perfect. You did an excellent job with the writing prompt you mentioned in the description!

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: In the description, "ruins" should be "ruin", because you're referring to two things (fog and something mysterious).

You have a bit of an issue with switching tense throughout the story. For example, you start out in past tense: "it was difficult to see", "I was squeezing". A few paragraphs later, you're in present tense: "I don't know", but in the next sentence, you go back to past, "There was no wind". A few paragraphs later, you start in past, "There it was again", but revert to present in the same paragraph, "I am so scared". I suggest editing the story to stay in one tense or the other. I think past would work best.

Near the end of the story, you refer to a police officer twice, but you say "office" instead of "officer" both times. I suggest an edit in that regard.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing your writing! This short story was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon. I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to WDC! If there's ever anything I can do to help you along the way, please don't hesitate to let me know.

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
Review of Hold on Tight!  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi, IceSkatingSugarCube ! I'm OOT™ and I'm honored to review your work on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

My Thoughts: I'm here with your last review for your win in "Invalid Item" . This was another terrific story! You wrote well in this genre, and you created an excellent little story. You did an excellent job with the prompt for the contest. I could easily imagine the scenes that you described, and you wrote a complete and meaningful story in 500 words.

I think this would make a great children's story, and I could easily see more pieces written about the little chair and his adventures. In that regard, I think you should consider changing one of the "other" genres to "children's".

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: "young man" should not be capitalized, since it obviously isn't the chair's name.

When you first mentioned the doll, you said "the humans set a small human girl..." Yet, a little later in the story, you make it clear that the girl was a doll, and the chair was aware of this fact. Therefore, I suggest that you change "human girl" to doll.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing another excellent little story. Although this is my last review for the contest, I've fallen in love with your writing, so I'll definitely continue to visit your port often. Keep on writing and sharing your talent with the WDC community!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review of 🏆Andrew  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, IceSkatingSugarCube ! I'm OOT™ and I'm honored to review your work on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

My Thoughts: Wow. You're making it so hard to decide which piece deserves the awardicon! As a matter of fact, I might just have to award two different stories. *Facepalm* I loved this story! You had already proven that you write well in the scary/horror genre, and now I see that you do a great job in the drama genre as well!

First person narration was an excellent choice for this story, and my heart broke for the narrator. (I would have liked to have known her name.) I was glad to see she held on for her 18th birthday, and I was happy to see that her final wish was granted. You packed quite an emotional punch in story of less that 900 words, and I had tears in my eyes when I finished the piece. The ending was perfect!

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: As with the other stories, I suggest that you change the "other" genre to give the story more exposure. I would suggest "drama" for this little story.

A comma should be inserted in the sentence, "Last July, I found out..."

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing another excellent short story. I can easily see how it got first place in the Writer's Cramp! I will be back soon with your fifth review.

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
36
36
Review of No Beef!  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, IceSkatingSugarCube ! I'm OOT™ and I'm honored to review your work on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

My Thoughts: I'm here with your second review and was again delighted to see that this one was also written for the SCREAMS! Contest. Horror is my favorite genre, and I'm loving your writing more with each story I read! I can easily see how this won the contest!

The story immediately drew me in, and I couldn't stop reading. Who could stop reading a story that began with the narrator's disdain for roast beef? I could just imagine poor Bob stuck in the cruiser with George! You did a terrific job with the interaction between the characters.

When I got about halfway through the story, I was a bit concerned that you made it too easy for the reader to deduce that George was the reason for the missing tourists. I didn't have to wait long, though, to realize it was your intention. The twist at the end was unexpected, and I loved it!

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: As with the first story, grammar, spelling, and punctuation were flawless. I always hate when I can't offer any beneficial suggestions, but, like the first story I read, I thought this one was perfect.

I will, however, suggest that you change "other" in the genres to "dark". I think this one certainly fits that genre, and this story should show up in searches for someone looking for something to read in the "dark" genre. It would be a shame for anyone to miss out on this little gem.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing another excellent story. Although I loved the first one I read as well, I believe this one is my favorite so far. I will be back to your port soon for my third review. In the meantime, keep writing!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Review of Gutshot  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Mastiff ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I'm back with your second review of 5 as part of your win in "Chinese New Year Celebration" .

I decided to review this story, because I couldn't resist reading a story with the title "Gutshot". I learned quickly that the title was appropriate! Although the story was extremely short, I found it to be complete and interesting. I could imagine Stump lying in the woods, the hunter suddenly becoming the hunted. Stump was an interesting name for the character. Is there a story behind the name?

You packed quite a punch with this short piece, and I found it complete and relevant. I particularly liked the last line. I love stories with a cliffhanger ending, and it's great that you managed to do that with such a short piece. You could easy write a follow-up. After all, even though "death" was one of the genres, I'm unsure as to whether Stump survived the gut shot.

I'd like to know which contest you entered this story in. Maybe you could add a small author's note at the bottom with that information.

My Suggestions: In the second sentence of the first paragraph, "he edges" should be "the edges".

I think the second paragraph could be reworded to have more of an impact. Instead of, "He was struck and thrown backwards, a shot echoed. On his back and stared at the sky. Bleeding.", how about, "A shot echoed; he was struck and thrown backwards. He lay on his back, staring at the sky. Bleeding."

The story is written in third person, past tense, yet, at the end of the third paragraph, you switch to first person, present tense. I suggest changing "I'm just an old man." to "He was just an old man." to keep the story in third person, past tense.

Overall: I'm really enjoying raiding your port and getting to know you better through your writing. This was another great story, and I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. I'll drop by your port for your third review soon.

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
38
38
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Cubby~Cheering House Florent! ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I came across this little gem on the Newsfeed, and I couldn't resist checking it out. I'm glad I did! It was hilarious, not to mention very well-written and appropriate for the holiday. I loved it!

I don't believe I have ever seen a limerick with two verses, and I think it was fantastic. The syllable count and rhyme scheme were spot-on, and I laughed out loud at the ending. Reading this was a great way to start my day. Good job!

My Suggestions: I thought the limerick was perfect as-is, so, unfortunately, I don't have any useful suggestions for improvement. I will, however, urge you to keep writing and sharing your talent with the WDC community.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous limerick! It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be dropping by your port again soon!

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
39
39
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Angus ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: Angus, my master of horror friend, writing about pink, fluffy unicorns? I thought the day would never come! *Shock* But, seriously, as with all your other work, you did an excellent job with this short story! I noticed in the description that this little piece is based on a true story. I can see that. *nods solemnly*

I can't believe I haven't read this yet as I noticed it was written over a year ago! That shows me that I should never again take an extended absence from the site. I can recall commercials about the addition of pink unicorns to Lucky Charms, and I didn't dream that someone could write a terrific little story about it. Leave it to you.

Rory was an interesting character, and I loved his Irish dialog. I also love the way you pull the reader into stories such as this, daring them to argue with the outcome. I loved this humorous little story from the first sentence, and I'm glad everything worked out for Rory in the end. Who wouldn't be happy with a life filled with Lucky Charms, sleeping on a pink fluffy pillow, and having their very own unicorn therapist? Actually, that sounds pretty good to me right now. *Laugh*

My Suggestions: I always look long and hard for a possible suggestion for improvement upon your impeccable writing, and I was able to come up with this:

In the sentence, "...found a neatly wrapped box sitting on his doorstep!", I believe "sitting" should be "setting" (even though I think "sitting" sounds better. From my recollection, setting is the word used to refer to inanimate objects. Of course, I haven't been out of bed long, so I could be wrong. *Worry*

Overall: You, my friend, can spin a terrific little tale from anything. I always love reading and reviewing your work, and I'll continue to visit your port frequently!

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
40
40
Review of White Horses  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Don Two ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I am usually too intimidated to review poetry, but I read this piece and enjoyed it so much I had to comment. The poem flowed beautifully, and you painted a lovely picture with your words. It was easy for me to picture the scene that you described. I liked the rhyme scheme, and the poem flowed well when I read it aloud. You made every word count in this short poem. Great job!

My Suggestions: As I think this poem is perfect as-is, I apologize that I can't offer you any useful suggestions for improvement. I do, however, urge you to keep writing and sharing your talent with the WDC community!

Overall: Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon!

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
41
41
Review of A fairy family  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Maria Torres ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: You note in the description of the story that this piece is more of an introduction to a story. After reading this piece, I would be interested in reading more about the fairy family. Caelum, Petra and Avani are interesting characters, and it seems that Avani is quite the inquisitive little fairy. I can't imagine all of the adventures that await her!

I found it a bit disturbing that her mother kept insisting that Avani wasn't normal and that there is something wrong with her. I hope you elaborate on that issue in the larger story. Many questions come to mind. Is there really something wrong with Avani, or is Petra resentful of her for some reason? This short story was interesting and complete, but I look forward to reading more about this family.

My Suggestions: I suggest that you do a thorough edit to correct spelling errors throughout the story. For instance, every instance of "trowing" should be changed to "throwing". Similarly, "trows" should be "throws".

"wont" should be "won't"

In the fourth paragraph, "though time" should be "tough time".

When you say "She pins out towards", I believe you're trying to say "She points toward".

"one of theme" should be "one of them"

I suggest changing "Do not ever leave without any of us this far." to "Do not come this far without your mother or me."

I don't think the first sentence is the best way to begin the story. It's too ambiguous without more of an introduction. Maybe you could start with something like, "Petra was terrified, because her daughter was missing." Then, follow with the sentence that you currently begin the story with. I think beginning with my suggested sentence will be more likely to draw in the reader.

"Did she went looking for you?" should be "Did she come looking for you?"

What does "figged with her hair" mean?

Overall: Thank you for sharing your work. This is a good story that would be much better after a thorough edit. I enjoyed the read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon.

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Review of Phoenix  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, NeedingBeachDuf 🐠⛵🏝️ ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: We have chatted and had bot races in scroll, so I thought it was time that I visit your port and send you a review. I hadn't heard of the Blink Contest, and, unfortunately, the link says "Invalid Item", but I believe I get the gist. Regardless, this is an excellent piece. I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a meaningful piece using few words, but you did an excellent job here!

This sort of reminds me of the 55 Word Story contest which I entered a few times before my extended hiatus from the site. I loved it, but I don't think its around anymore either. You made every word count, and you painted a beautiful, vivid picture of the phoenix in its environment. Again, great job!

My Suggestions: As I think this piece is perfect as-is, I can only suggest that you keep on writing and sharing your wonderful work!

Overall: Thank you for sharing this terrific piece. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon. In the meantime, I'll continue to see you in scroll!

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Review of Gold Rush  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Jatog the Green ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: Even though I could have found a much better way to spend the gold before it disappeared, I really enjoyed this story! I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful piece using few words, and you did an excellent job here!

Miles and Conan (Conan O'Brien *Laugh*) were interesting and believable characters, and their dialog was interesting and realistic. I could easily imagine the scene that you described, but I couldn't help but wonder how Miles managed to dump the gold when there was enough to fill the room. He must have been strong. lol

I loved the way the story ended on a sarcastic note! And did I mention that I could have found a much better way to spend that gold? *Laugh*

My Suggestions: In the ninth paragraph, I believe "dumped the gold and the beige rug" should be "dumped the gold on the beige rug." Of course, as evidenced by my 5 star rating, it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the story.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous little story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon!

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Review of Grumpy  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Norman ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I rarely review poetry, because I feel intimated by it. However, I really like poems with verses that rhyme, and this one was right up my alley. I read the poem aloud, and it flowed well throughout.

I can relate to this piece all too well today, because I've been in a grumpy mood all day. However, since it's after 1 a.m. here, I could easily switch to Sleepy now. I actually chuckled as I read the poem. I was a bit on the fence about the final verse. At first, I didn't think it fit well with the rest of the poem, but, in the end, I decided I liked it well enough.

My Suggestions: I would add "Comedy" as the third genre, because I found this poem quite humorous.

I suggest adding a comma after "sweetest guy" in the second verse.

I still can't help but mention the last verse. In the previous verse, you mention that Snow White would be yours if you were the handsome prince. Then, in the last verse, she was all yours. Maybe I'm missing something, maybe being Sleepy is getting to me, or maybe I'm just Dopey. *Laugh*

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous little poem. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting you port again soon.

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Review of Irish Heaven  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, 🌕 HuntersMoon ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: You already know I love your sense of humor, and this limerick was no exception. I see it was an entry with a "make me laugh" prompt, I can't imagine that anyone could keep from chuckling after reading this little gem.

I don't normally review limericks, but I read the piece both silently and aloud, and it flowed well and made sense. It was perfect for the theme and the prompt.

My Suggestions: As I found this piece perfect as-is, the only suggestion I can offer you is to keep writing and sharing your talent with the WDC community. I need to raid your port. I'd like to see if you have anything written in the dark or horror genres. *Smirk*

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous limerick. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon! Good luck in the contest!

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Review of Joe Leprechaun  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey, there, Shaara ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I needed a funny little story to finish off my week, and this one was perfect! Your descriptive writing made it easy to picture the scenes that you described, and I must agree that Joe Leprechaun sounded like quite a hunk - at least in his fully grown version. I could easily see how the narrator could be attracted to him despite his apparent lack of style.

You captured my attention with the description and held it throughout the story. First person narration was a good choice for this piece, and it was easy to empathize with the narrator. Although I had a bit of an idea what would ultimately happen, this story exceeded my expectations. I didn't think she would actually marry him and have children. And I absolutely loved her wish that made her nights exciting. Perfect ending!

My Suggestions: It threw me off when the narrator referred to herself in the past tense (My name used to be...I was...) It made me think she had been killed or, at the least, had to change her name. I do realize she probably changed her last name when she married Joe, and I realize you probably included it as an introduction to her last name of O'Connor, but it was a sticking point for me.

Maybe you could say, "My name is Casey, and, at the time, I was twenty-three..." After all, a few paragraphs later, you mention Casey's last name through dialog.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous little story. You made excellent use of the prompt words, and I imagine that you won the contest with this little gem. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon!

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Review of The Dance  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, willwilcox! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: Wow! This piece was so well-written and captivating, I actually got goosebumps on my arms as I finished the story. Your descriptive writing made it easy for me to picture the scene that you described, and I could almost hear the frenzy of the unicorns and taste the burning cold water! Did I say wow?

First person narration was a terrific choice for the story, and anyone who doesn't understand the concept of showing versus telling should be directed to this piece. You did an amazing job of that. I could imagine the grandchild being just as captivated by the story as I was. And the nodule on the forehead described at the end was the perfect way to end the story. I loved this story from beginning to end!

I rarely choose certain lines in a story or poem as my favorites, but I have to mention these: "The touch of the water on my lips and tongue were as cold as fire. It burned within me like a blaze of absolute ice." I absolutely loved this description! You made every word count, and this short story made quite an impression!

My Suggestions: As evidenced by my rating, I think this story is perfect as-is. However, in an attempt to offer something, I would suggest changing "before hand" in the third paragraph to "beforehand". Otherwise, grammar, spelling, and punctuation were flawless.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this little gem. This is one of the best stories I've read on the site. It was truly a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon!

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Review of The Lonesome Body  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hey there, Smidge ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

*Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb*


My Thoughts: The title of this story is interesting and appropriate and made me want to read it. The fact that it's in the "dark" genre pleased me, because that's one of my favorite genres. I also love reading and writing flash fiction, so this piece was right up my alley. I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful story using few words, and you did a great job here!

This story has an interesting plot and character. I have seen movies and read other stories that are similar, but this one is different enough to be unique and interesting. Your descriptive writing made it easy for me to picture the scenes in the bathroom, and I particularly liked the way the story ended.

*Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr*


My Suggestions: First of all, I couldn't help but wonder why the mirror didn't break. The way you described Lara lunging herself at it, I couldn't help but imagine it in shards.

This sentence was a stumbling block for me: "She went through but nothing else did - her clothes swung off, her skin, her bones, her heart and everything else." I would suggest changing "She" to "Her soul". I would think "she" refers to Lara's entire body, not just her soul. And the rest of the sentence doesn't do well at explaining it either. It makes me imagine a pile of skin, bones and organs in a heap on the floor, not what appears to be a person as you intended.

*Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng*


Overall: Thank you for sharing your writing! This short story was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon. I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to the WDC community! Again, if there's ever anything I can do to help you, don't hesitate to email me!

Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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49
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I decided to stop by your port for an anniversary review, and I came across this short story. I love reading and writing flash fiction, and I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful story in 300 words or less. I just didn't feel that this story was complete. It was very interesting, and you have a great writing style that captivated my attention and held it throughout. But after the story ended, I had too many unanswered questions. I love cliffhanger endings, but because of the brevity of the story, there were too many questions left unanswered. What exactly was the program? Was the guy a wedding crasher?

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: First, I suggest omitting "DFF Entry 3/21" from the title and description to make the story look for professional and more visually appealing to potential readers.

I suggest changing "no thing" in the first sentence to "nothing".

Finally, I suggest that you expand this piece. I gave the story 4 stars even though I felt it was incomplete because of your great writing style.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this short story. Now that the contest is over, I'd love to see you expand it. I hope you had a wonderful 9th WDC anniversary!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Bedtime  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I dropped by your port for an anniversary review, and the title of this story caught my eye. When I saw it was a horror story (one of my favorite genres), I couldn't resist. Although I read a story on the site that was exceedingly similar to this one, this story was unique enough that I still enjoyed it. (The similarity was the ending - the child being under the bed and the monster, looking like the child, was in the child's bed).

First person narration was a good choice for this piece, and you did a great job of remaining in the present tense throughout the story. Your descriptive writing style allowed me to easily picture the scene that you described. Despite the similarities that I mentioned earlier in the review, the part about the child drawing on the wall was unique and added to foreboding feeling I got as I read.

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: First, I suggest changing the story's description to give the reader a hint as to what to expect from the story.

"Now these dark drawings are all too common..."

Near the end of the story, you say the Legos and train toys are tied. I didn't understand that. Did you mean tidy instead of tied?

I noticed a lot of instances throughout the story where commas should be inserted. For example, a comma should be inserted after "us" and after "work" in the third sentence. Near the end of the story, "in that moment" should be set off with commas.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this short story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon. I hope you had a wonderful 13th WDC anniversary!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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