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Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Mastiff ! I'm OOT™ and I'm honored to review your work on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group.

My Thoughts: I couldn't resist reviewing one of your poems since I have reviewed so many of your stories, so I chose this for my fifth review for your "Chinese New Year Celebration win. I'm glad I did! I loved it! The title was interesting and made me want to read the poem, and I wasn't disappointed.

I counted the syllables as I read, and you were spot-on with 24. The poem was interesting, complete, and, best of all, funny. I liked that the lines rhymed, and it didn't seem forced. I thought it was great!

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: I noticed that the word "impish" was in bold. Was that a prompt word for the contest? I suggest that you add an author's note at the bottom letting the reader know why that word is in bold. And if it was a required prompt word, you did a fantastic job of incorporating it into the poem!

Grammar, spelling, and punctuation were flawless. Good job.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: I really enjoy reading your stories, and I was happy to learn that you write excellent poetry as well. I don't often review poetry...I was just going to read this poem and find something else to review. But I liked it so much I couldn't resist. I hope you keep writing, because I'm running out of things to review. Even though this is the fifth review of five for your "Chinese New Year Celebration win, I will definitely be back to your port soon!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
27
27
Review of The Flip  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Mastiff ! I'm OOT™ and I'm honored to review your work on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group.

My Thoughts: I'm back with your fourth review from your win in "Chinese New Year Celebration. I chose this piece, because I saw that you wrote it for the Twisted Tales contest, and I love little twisted tales. I really enjoyed this one!

Your idea was original and well thought out. The story was a little confusing at first, but I quickly realized what was going on. I read it once, then went back and read it all again, and it made so much more sense the second time around. It's terrifying to think that something like this could actually happen, and you did a good job of making it believable. Also, I could easily imagine the characters and scenes that you described.

First person narration was a great choice for this piece, and the narrator kept his word. Clive did pay for what he did. He didn't end up being much of a caretaker, but he got what was coming to him in the end. The story ended perfectly, and I imagine that you did well in the contest with this little twisted tale.

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: I didn't understand this sentence: "Getting something more suitable would have four more years." Did you mean "...would have taken four more years."? And did the person stay dead for four years until a replacement could be found? I would have liked to learned more about that. Like where the person would be stored in the meantime. I guess it would just be the soul since the body could take different shapes and forms. Definitely something to think about.

Even with two readings, I didn't find anything else that could be improved upon. Great job!

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this little twisted tale. You write well in any genre, but I believe this one is my favorite yet. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I'll be back to your port soon for your fifth review. In the meantime, keep writing!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
28
28
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, Mastiff ! I'm OOT™ and I'm honored to review your work on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group.

My Thoughts: I chose this story for your third review, because the title interested me, and I haven't heard of the Musical Drabble contest. I'll have to check it out. Because of the reference to "Musical Drabble" in the description, I expected the piece to somehow relate to music.

This was an interesting and unusual piece. It took me just a minute at the end of the story to catch on. lol I assumed the older man had gone to Canada to get better prescriptions, but it made sense in the end when I realized the plants he was talking about.

I believe it would have been easier for me to get into the story if the characters in the story had names and physical descriptions. It would have made it easier for me to empathize with the older man. You did give an adequate history of the older man's injury, but what was their relationship? Why were they even together in the first place?
Overall, I enjoyed this piece, but I think I would have enjoyed it a lot more had I been given more information about the characters.

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: First, you should change the rating to 18+ because of the language used in the story. It's really important, because the piece could be removed from the site for not having an accurate rating.

I recommend that you change the description to give the reader a hint as to what to expect from the piece, and put a small author's note at the end informing the reader that it was written for the Musical Drabble contest.

When I first starting reading the piece, I assumed that the characters were a man and a woman. I suggest making it clear earlier on that it's actually 2 men.

Since the story is told in past tense, "seem" in the third sentence should be "seemed".

"someone who'd have never thought he would"

"he took in his soundingssurroundings"

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this story. Should you decide to expand it, I would love to read the finished product. I will look for the Musical Drabble contest to try to get a better idea as to what is expected from entrants. I'll be back to your port soon for your fourth review.

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
29
29
Review of Gutshot  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Mastiff ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I'm back with your second review of 5 as part of your win in "Chinese New Year Celebration.

I decided to review this story, because I couldn't resist reading a story with the title "Gutshot". I learned quickly that the title was appropriate! Although the story was extremely short, I found it to be complete and interesting. I could imagine Stump lying in the woods, the hunter suddenly becoming the hunted. Stump was an interesting name for the character. Is there a story behind the name?

You packed quite a punch with this short piece, and I found it complete and relevant. I particularly liked the last line. I love stories with a cliffhanger ending, and it's great that you managed to do that with such a short piece. You could easy write a follow-up. After all, even though "death" was one of the genres, I'm unsure as to whether Stump survived the gut shot.

I'd like to know which contest you entered this story in. Maybe you could add a small author's note at the bottom with that information.

My Suggestions: In the second sentence of the first paragraph, "he edges" should be "the edges".

I think the second paragraph could be reworded to have more of an impact. Instead of, "He was struck and thrown backwards, a shot echoed. On his back and stared at the sky. Bleeding.", how about, "A shot echoed; he was struck and thrown backwards. He lay on his back, staring at the sky. Bleeding."

The story is written in third person, past tense, yet, at the end of the third paragraph, you switch to first person, present tense. I suggest changing "I'm just an old man." to "He was just an old man." to keep the story in third person, past tense.

Overall: I'm really enjoying raiding your port and getting to know you better through your writing. This was another great story, and I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. I'll drop by your port for your third review soon.

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
30
30
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Cubby spreading kindness... ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I came across this little gem on the Newsfeed, and I couldn't resist checking it out. I'm glad I did! It was hilarious, not to mention very well-written and appropriate for the holiday. I loved it!

I don't believe I have ever seen a limerick with two verses, and I think it was fantastic. The syllable count and rhyme scheme were spot-on, and I laughed out loud at the ending. Reading this was a great way to start my day. Good job!

My Suggestions: I thought the limerick was perfect as-is, so, unfortunately, I don't have any useful suggestions for improvement. I will, however, urge you to keep writing and sharing your talent with the WDC community.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous limerick! It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be dropping by your port again soon!

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
31
31
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Angus ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: Angus, my master of horror friend, writing about pink, fluffy unicorns? I thought the day would never come! *Shock* But, seriously, as with all your other work, you did an excellent job with this short story! I noticed in the description that this little piece is based on a true story. I can see that. *nods solemnly*

I can't believe I haven't read this yet as I noticed it was written over a year ago! That shows me that I should never again take an extended absence from the site. I can recall commercials about the addition of pink unicorns to Lucky Charms, and I didn't dream that someone could write a terrific little story about it. Leave it to you.

Rory was an interesting character, and I loved his Irish dialog. I also love the way you pull the reader into stories such as this, daring them to argue with the outcome. I loved this humorous little story from the first sentence, and I'm glad everything worked out for Rory in the end. Who wouldn't be happy with a life filled with Lucky Charms, sleeping on a pink fluffy pillow, and having their very own unicorn therapist? Actually, that sounds pretty good to me right now. *Laugh*

My Suggestions: I always look long and hard for a possible suggestion for improvement upon your impeccable writing, and I was able to come up with this:

In the sentence, "...found a neatly wrapped box sitting on his doorstep!", I believe "sitting" should be "setting" (even though I think "sitting" sounds better. From my recollection, setting is the word used to refer to inanimate objects. Of course, I haven't been out of bed long, so I could be wrong. *Worry*

Overall: You, my friend, can spin a terrific little tale from anything. I always love reading and reviewing your work, and I'll continue to visit your port frequently!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
32
32
Review of Awe  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Piratess Dawniebelle ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I rarely review poetry, because I find it intimidating, but there were a few that were suggested for the Over the Rainbow Review Raid that I just couldn't resist. This was one of them. I chose to read it because of the unusual title, and I must say that it is appropriate.

Your descriptive writing made it easy for me to picture the pixie that you described, and you made every word count. I enjoyed the transition of the verses, from the descriptive first verse to the wonder of the second one. I thought the ending was fantastic as well. Great job!

My Suggestions: I would suggest changing the period to a question mark after "How could these pixies exist" in the second verse. Otherwise, I think the poem is perfect as-is.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this terrific little poem! It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be dropping by your port again soon.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
33
33
Review of "Free Will"  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hi there, Sew-no-more 🤗 ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I really enjoyed this little gem. It's amazing how essential just changing the first line of each verse tells such a lovely story and paints such a vivid picture. And the last verse entirely changed the piece for me. It makes it seem as though the narrator progressed from a love for dragons in general to being in love with one particular dragon. The piece flowed nicely, and the repetition worked well.

My Suggestions: The word "it's" isn't used to show possession. "It's" is a contraction for "it is". Therefore, all the instances of "it's" in this piece should be changed to "its", because you are attempting to show possession in each instance.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this piece. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon.

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
34
34
Review of Safe Sex  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I reviewed one of your limericks earlier, and I found it quite funny, but it didn't hold a light to this one. It was hilarious! I absolutely love your sense of humor, and it shone brightly in this piece.

Not only did the limerick flow well when I read it aloud, but it also made me laugh out loud. It was perfect! I also liked the author's note at the end. I'm sure it would have won had you entered it in a contest.

My Suggestions: As I think this limerick was perfect, I don't have any suggestions to make it better. I will suggest, however, that you make sure that you don't get your hand so tired that you can't type additional funny limericks for me to enjoy. *Rolling*

Overall: Thank you for sharing your exceptional work and continuing to make me laugh. I definitely know where to go when I'm in a bad mood and need a good chuckle. You're awesome!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
35
35
Review of White Horses  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Don Two ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I am usually too intimidated to review poetry, but I read this piece and enjoyed it so much I had to comment. The poem flowed beautifully, and you painted a lovely picture with your words. It was easy for me to picture the scene that you described. I liked the rhyme scheme, and the poem flowed well when I read it aloud. You made every word count in this short poem. Great job!

My Suggestions: As I think this poem is perfect as-is, I apologize that I can't offer you any useful suggestions for improvement. I do, however, urge you to keep writing and sharing your talent with the WDC community!

Overall: Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
36
36
Review of A fairy family  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Maria Torres ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: You note in the description of the story that this piece is more of an introduction to a story. After reading this piece, I would be interested in reading more about the fairy family. Caelum, Petra and Avani are interesting characters, and it seems that Avani is quite the inquisitive little fairy. I can't imagine all of the adventures that await her!

I found it a bit disturbing that her mother kept insisting that Avani wasn't normal and that there is something wrong with her. I hope you elaborate on that issue in the larger story. Many questions come to mind. Is there really something wrong with Avani, or is Petra resentful of her for some reason? This short story was interesting and complete, but I look forward to reading more about this family.

My Suggestions: I suggest that you do a thorough edit to correct spelling errors throughout the story. For instance, every instance of "trowing" should be changed to "throwing". Similarly, "trows" should be "throws".

"wont" should be "won't"

In the fourth paragraph, "though time" should be "tough time".

When you say "She pins out towards", I believe you're trying to say "She points toward".

"one of theme" should be "one of them"

I suggest changing "Do not ever leave without any of us this far." to "Do not come this far without your mother or me."

I don't think the first sentence is the best way to begin the story. It's too ambiguous without more of an introduction. Maybe you could start with something like, "Petra was terrified, because her daughter was missing." Then, follow with the sentence that you currently begin the story with. I think beginning with my suggested sentence will be more likely to draw in the reader.

"Did she went looking for you?" should be "Did she come looking for you?"

What does "figged with her hair" mean?

Overall: Thank you for sharing your work. This is a good story that would be much better after a thorough edit. I enjoyed the read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
37
37
Review of TOADSTOOLS  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, J.L. O'Dell(NANO) ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I have seen you around WDC and have noticed your generosity and positive attitude, so I thought it was time I visited your port and sent you a review. I'm glad I did! You did a great job with this little story!

I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful story with a 100 word count limit, and, in addition to that, I see that you had to incorporate 2 prompt words into the story. You made it seem effortless! I could easily imagine the three faeries seeking shelter in the downpour, and I'm glad they found it with the mushrooms. The plot was interesting, and the story ended on a positive note. I really enjoyed it!

My Suggestions: I suggest inserting a comma after "Ahead" in the last paragraph. Other than that, I noticed no errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. The only other suggestion I can offer is to keep writing and making WDC a better place!

Overall: Thank you for sharing this short story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
38
38
Review of Phoenix  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, 🏳‍🌈 Me ~ Duf ♏ ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: We have chatted and had bot races in scroll, so I thought it was time that I visit your port and send you a review. I hadn't heard of the Blink Contest, and, unfortunately, the link says "Invalid Item", but I believe I get the gist. Regardless, this is an excellent piece. I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a meaningful piece using few words, but you did an excellent job here!

This sort of reminds me of the 55 Word Story contest which I entered a few times before my extended hiatus from the site. I loved it, but I don't think its around anymore either. You made every word count, and you painted a beautiful, vivid picture of the phoenix in its environment. Again, great job!

My Suggestions: As I think this piece is perfect as-is, I can only suggest that you keep on writing and sharing your wonderful work!

Overall: Thank you for sharing this terrific piece. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon. In the meantime, I'll continue to see you in scroll!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
39
39
Review of Gold Rush  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Jatog the Green ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: Even though I could have found a much better way to spend the gold before it disappeared, I really enjoyed this story! I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful piece using few words, and you did an excellent job here!

Miles and Conan (Conan O'Brien *Laugh*) were interesting and believable characters, and their dialog was interesting and realistic. I could easily imagine the scene that you described, but I couldn't help but wonder how Miles managed to dump the gold when there was enough to fill the room. He must have been strong. lol

I loved the way the story ended on a sarcastic note! And did I mention that I could have found a much better way to spend that gold? *Laugh*

My Suggestions: In the ninth paragraph, I believe "dumped the gold and the beige rug" should be "dumped the gold on the beige rug." Of course, as evidenced by my 5 star rating, it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the story.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous little story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
40
40
Review of No Trespassing  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Mastiff ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I was happy to find this piece from the "fantasy" genre, as it fits right in with the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Over the Rainbow Raid. It is also my first review of the 5 from your win in "Chinese New Year Celebration.

I really enjoyed this story, and I can easily see how it placed in the contest. The plot was interesting and rather original, and I was hooked from the first paragraph. You made excellent use of the prompt words, and the story flowed naturally. Droyn and Mehenilda are interesting characters, and I found it easy to empathize with their plight, especially poor Droyn, who had been in the basement prison for 14 times as long. I did find it a bit difficult to believe that he had waited an entire year to fill her in on how to "escape" for a short time, but I do think you adequately explained it with his initial fear that she could have been a spy.

You did a good job of describing the captors and gave enough information about their methods of torture to allow the reader to imagine what Droyn and Mehenilda had endured during their time there. The chant was a nice addition to the story, and, even though it was meant to comfort, I think it added to the overall eeriness of the piece. I liked the characters and was rooting for them, so I was devastated when I learned their captors had caught on and were going to take the only comfort they had. The ending was perfect, making the story complete while still leaving a bit of mystery. Great job!

My Suggestions: My first suggestion is to change the genres from "Contest Entry" and "Contest" to "Dark" and "Thriller/Suspense". Now that the contest is over, it would help to give the readers more of an idea as to what the story is about. It would also help the story to show up in more searches.

edit to correct errors with dialogue. I'll give you an example to see what I mean: You wrote, "Sounds like the youngster.” Droyn said.

When you write dialogue followed by describing the person who is saying it, the period before the end quotes should be changed to a comma. It should be written as, "Sounds like the youngster," Droyn said.

I will give you an example when a name doesn't follow the quote: You say, "Well, in a way." He replied. It should be written as, "Well, in a way," he replied. There are numerous instances in the story that this should be corrected.

I believe "make" in the first sentence should be "made".

In the second paragraph, "the remainder of their life" should be "the remainder of their lives" since you are talking about the lives of multiple people.

In the first sentence of the fourth paragraph, "them beat on Droyn" should be "they beat on Droyn".

Overall: Thank you for sharing this short story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I'll be back soon with your second review.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
41
41
Review of Grumpy  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, Norman ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I rarely review poetry, because I feel intimated by it. However, I really like poems with verses that rhyme, and this one was right up my alley. I read the poem aloud, and it flowed well throughout.

I can relate to this piece all too well today, because I've been in a grumpy mood all day. However, since it's after 1 a.m. here, I could easily switch to Sleepy now. I actually chuckled as I read the poem. I was a bit on the fence about the final verse. At first, I didn't think it fit well with the rest of the poem, but, in the end, I decided I liked it well enough.

My Suggestions: I would add "Comedy" as the third genre, because I found this poem quite humorous.

I suggest adding a comma after "sweetest guy" in the second verse.

I still can't help but mention the last verse. In the previous verse, you mention that Snow White would be yours if you were the handsome prince. Then, in the last verse, she was all yours. Maybe I'm missing something, maybe being Sleepy is getting to me, or maybe I'm just Dopey. *Laugh*

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous little poem. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting you port again soon.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
42
42
Review of Irish Heaven  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, 🌙 HuntersMoon ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: You already know I love your sense of humor, and this limerick was no exception. I see it was an entry with a "make me laugh" prompt, I can't imagine that anyone could keep from chuckling after reading this little gem.

I don't normally review limericks, but I read the piece both silently and aloud, and it flowed well and made sense. It was perfect for the theme and the prompt.

My Suggestions: As I found this piece perfect as-is, the only suggestion I can offer you is to keep writing and sharing your talent with the WDC community. I need to raid your port. I'd like to see if you have anything written in the dark or horror genres. *Smirk*

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous limerick. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon! Good luck in the contest!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
43
43
Review of Joe Leprechaun  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey, there, Santa Shaara ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I needed a funny little story to finish off my week, and this one was perfect! Your descriptive writing made it easy to picture the scenes that you described, and I must agree that Joe Leprechaun sounded like quite a hunk - at least in his fully grown version. I could easily see how the narrator could be attracted to him despite his apparent lack of style.

You captured my attention with the description and held it throughout the story. First person narration was a good choice for this piece, and it was easy to empathize with the narrator. Although I had a bit of an idea what would ultimately happen, this story exceeded my expectations. I didn't think she would actually marry him and have children. And I absolutely loved her wish that made her nights exciting. Perfect ending!

My Suggestions: It threw me off when the narrator referred to herself in the past tense (My name used to be...I was...) It made me think she had been killed or, at the least, had to change her name. I do realize she probably changed her last name when she married Joe, and I realize you probably included it as an introduction to her last name of O'Connor, but it was a sticking point for me.

Maybe you could say, "My name is Casey, and, at the time, I was twenty-three..." After all, a few paragraphs later, you mention Casey's last name through dialog.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous little story. You made excellent use of the prompt words, and I imagine that you won the contest with this little gem. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon!

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Dance  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group OVER the RAINBOW Raid! *Shamrock*


Hey there, W.D.Wilcox ! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: Wow! This piece was so well-written and captivating, I actually got goosebumps on my arms as I finished the story. Your descriptive writing made it easy for me to picture the scene that you described, and I could almost hear the frenzy of the unicorns and taste the burning cold water! Did I say wow?

First person narration was a terrific choice for the story, and anyone who doesn't understand the concept of showing versus telling should be directed to this piece. You did an amazing job of that. I could imagine the grandchild being just as captivated by the story as I was. And the nodule on the forehead described at the end was the perfect way to end the story. I loved this story from beginning to end!

I rarely choose certain lines in a story or poem as my favorites, but I have to mention these: "The touch of the water on my lips and tongue were as cold as fire. It burned within me like a blaze of absolute ice." I absolutely loved this description! You made every word count, and this short story made quite an impression!

My Suggestions: As evidenced by my rating, I think this story is perfect as-is. However, in an attempt to offer something, I would suggest changing "before hand" in the third paragraph to "beforehand". Otherwise, grammar, spelling, and punctuation were flawless.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this little gem. This is one of the best stories I've read on the site. It was truly a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be visiting your port again soon!

Power signature for March raid


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Somber Familiar  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Hey there Nightingale ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

*Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb*


My Thoughts: The interesting title made me want to read this story, and I'm glad I did! I love reading and writing flash fiction, and I know from experience how difficult it can be to write and complete and meaningful story using few words, but you made it seem effortless here.

First person narration was a good choice for this piece, and telling the story in present tense as you did helped to make me feel like I was part of the story. Your descriptive writing helped me to easily imagine the creature in the bedroom and empathize with the narrator. I was expecting a scary story and, although I love the horror genre, I was pleased with the happy ending.

*Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr*


My Suggestions: When you are telling a story in present tense, be sure to keep in in present tense at all times unless you're referring to something that took place before the story began. The third paragraph is in past tense and should be in present. In the fourth paragraph, "was the image" should be "is the image". In the last paragraph, "I thought" should be "I think".

In the first sentence, you say "no toe" but in the second sentence you say "they do". Since that sentence refers back to the first, you should keep it singular and say "it does".

In the third paragraph, "it's heavy foreboding" should be "its heavy foreboding" since "it's" is a contraction for "it is" and you didn't intend that here.

In the fourth paragraph, "museums parking area" should be "museum's parking area".

*Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng*


Overall: Thank you for sharing your writing! This short story was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon. I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to the WDC community! Again, if there's ever anything I can do to help you, please do not hesitate to email me.

Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Lonesome Body  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Hey there, Smidge ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

*Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb*


My Thoughts: The title of this story is interesting and appropriate and made me want to read it. The fact that it's in the "dark" genre pleased me, because that's one of my favorite genres. I also love reading and writing flash fiction, so this piece was right up my alley. I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful story using few words, and you did a great job here!

This story has an interesting plot and character. I have seen movies and read other stories that are similar, but this one is different enough to be unique and interesting. Your descriptive writing made it easy for me to picture the scenes in the bathroom, and I particularly liked the way the story ended.

*Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr*


My Suggestions: First of all, I couldn't help but wonder why the mirror didn't break. The way you described Lara lunging herself at it, I couldn't help but imagine it in shards.

This sentence was a stumbling block for me: "She went through but nothing else did - her clothes swung off, her skin, her bones, her heart and everything else." I would suggest changing "She" to "Her soul". I would think "she" refers to Lara's entire body, not just her soul. And the rest of the sentence doesn't do well at explaining it either. It makes me imagine a pile of skin, bones and organs in a heap on the floor, not what appears to be a person as you intended.

*Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng*


Overall: Thank you for sharing your writing! This short story was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon. I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to the WDC community! Again, if there's ever anything I can do to help you, don't hesitate to email me!

Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Hey there, Bella ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

*Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb*


My Thoughts: This is a good idea for a short story. It's rather original, and the title in the description drew me in. I can't imagine the feelings someone would have if an imaginary friend they had during their childhood would reappear when they had reached adulthood. You did a good job of telling that story.

Please be careful and make sure that your story is properly edited prior to posting it for others to see. You want to make sure that people who read your writing are exposed to your best work. There is even a way to keep the story private until you feel that it is ready to be seen by others. If you need assistance with this, let me know, and I'll be happy to help.

*Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr*


My Suggestions: There are numerous misspelled words and failures to properly space throughout this piece that could easily be caught if you perform a simple spellcheck. For instance, in the second line, "aren't" is spelled incorrectly. In the following sentence, "knelt" is spelled incorrectly, and you didn't space between "in" and "front".

*Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng*


Overall: Thank you for sharing your writing with us. This is a good story that would be much better after a thorough edit. Again, if there's anything at all that I can do to assist you, please don't hesitate to let me know. I look forward to seeing more of your work!

Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Sister Earth  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Hey there, ValeriaBlue ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

*Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb* *Penb*


My Thoughts: I love short, dark stories, and you did a fantastic job with this one! This is so well-written that I would have never guessed you are new to the site had I not seen the date you joined. The title was interesting and appropriate, and it, along with the description, made me want to read the story. I loved it! You captured my attention with the first sentence and held it throughout.

I am sure that this piece will hit home for those who are currently in a domestic violence situation, and every reader can take away something from this haunted piece. You made every word count and packed quite a punch with just five short paragraphs. Great job!

*Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr* *Penr*


My Suggestions: The comma after "eyes" in the second sentence isn't needed and should be omitted.

In the second sentence of the second paragraph, "Than he left her.." should be "Then he left her..."

*Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng* *Peng*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this terrific short, dark piece. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be dropping by your port again soon. I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to WDC, and I will be happy to assist you with any problems or questions you have.

Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I decided to stop by your port for an anniversary review, and I came across this short story. I love reading and writing flash fiction, and I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and meaningful story in 300 words or less. I just didn't feel that this story was complete. It was very interesting, and you have a great writing style that captivated my attention and held it throughout. But after the story ended, I had too many unanswered questions. I love cliffhanger endings, but because of the brevity of the story, there were too many questions left unanswered. What exactly was the program? Was the guy a wedding crasher?

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: First, I suggest omitting "DFF Entry 3/21" from the title and description to make the story look for professional and more visually appealing to potential readers.

I suggest changing "no thing" in the first sentence to "nothing".

Finally, I suggest that you expand this piece. I gave the story 4 stars even though I felt it was incomplete because of your great writing style.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this short story. Now that the contest is over, I'd love to see you expand it. I hope you had a wonderful 9th WDC anniversary!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Bedtime  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I dropped by your port for an anniversary review, and the title of this story caught my eye. When I saw it was a horror story (one of my favorite genres), I couldn't resist. Although I read a story on the site that was exceedingly similar to this one, this story was unique enough that I still enjoyed it. (The similarity was the ending - the child being under the bed and the monster, looking like the child, was in the child's bed).

First person narration was a good choice for this piece, and you did a great job of remaining in the present tense throughout the story. Your descriptive writing style allowed me to easily picture the scene that you described. Despite the similarities that I mentioned earlier in the review, the part about the child drawing on the wall was unique and added to foreboding feeling I got as I read.

*Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb**Starb*


My Suggestions: First, I suggest changing the story's description to give the reader a hint as to what to expect from the story.

"Now these dark drawings are all too common..."

Near the end of the story, you say the Legos and train toys are tied. I didn't understand that. Did you mean tidy instead of tied?

I noticed a lot of instances throughout the story where commas should be inserted. For example, a comma should be inserted after "us" and after "work" in the third sentence. Near the end of the story, "in that moment" should be set off with commas.

*Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr**Starr*


Overall: Thank you for sharing this short story. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon. I hope you had a wonderful 13th WDC anniversary!

*Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg**Starg*


Created by Amanda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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