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125 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Joy

I am here on behalf of the Simply Positive review forum. Please remember that this review is only opinion, and should be used as such. *Smile*

This was a very informative write. You touched on basic information in each paragraph while tantalizing the reader to explore more in depth on their own.

The piece was well written and I found no errors. I think you did a great job of informing the reader of the history of Thanksgiving, and taught me a bit about the origins of the holiday.

I enjoyed the piece.

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Review by Origami -
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

Hello Richard Luck

I found this little gem, while random port surfing. I am glad I did. *Smile*

This was a very detailed write. The imagery was intense, but not gory. You held a very fine line in your descriptions.

The language usage was creative, and held my attention. The opening was strong - and you kept the body of the write intense right up to the ending.

You kept me from deciding on who I was rooting for -- the shrink, or the patient - until the plot twist made me decide between the lesser of two evils.

Very well done - I enjoyed the write!


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Review by Origami -
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Robin:TheRhymeMaven
I am reviewing for the Simply Positive, Trick and Treat reviewing event.
Please remember all reviews are opinion *Smile*


Excellent narrative poem.

I liked the tight stanzas and strong imagery. You did a great job of conveying emotion in the write.

A strong beginning - climatic build - and fitting ending.

Very well done!!
I enjoyed the write

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Review of Roses  
Review by Origami -
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Hello sauldecosta
I am reviewing for the Simply Positive Halloween Trick and Treat event
Please remember all reviews are opinion *Smile*

I did like this write.

I think you did a great job with the Halloween killer. I liked the idea of the rose scented introduction of the horror to come.

Very creative.

No suggestions for improvement.
Nice work!!

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello ShiShad

I am reviewing for the Simply Positive, Trick and Treat event -
Please remember all reviews are opinion *Smile*

I really like this. The narrative story in poetic form -

The only part that I had trouble with was the last line.
I couldn't see how this fit with the rest of the piece.

I enjoyed the rhyme, and the clever wording. Very nice write
Well done!!

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Review of Where Evil Dwells  
Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I'm reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Trick and Treat *Smile*
Please remember all reviews are opinion.

I liked this. It was true to the title, and carried a dark tone to it.
The stanzas were strong and it had a good rhythm to it.

I especially liked the last two lines of the poem, it pulled the piece together.

Well done write!! Thanks for sharing *Smile*

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hello JoDe
I am reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Trick and Treat review forum -
Please remember all reviews are opinion

I enjoyed your short story about Kathy's Halloween find.

I do have a couple of suggestions:

You could change a bit of the sentence structure:

Example:
They were nearly home, when Marcie spilled her candy. Kathy swept the candy up and was helping her pick it up, when she had the idea.

Suggestion:
Nearing home, Marcie spilled her candy. As Kathy helped Marcie sweep up her candy, she was struck with an idea.

To me this clarifies the sentence...

You also tend to repeat Kathy's name a lot. You have already introduced Kathy as the main character, you really didn't need to repeat that it was Kathy doing the action.

These are only suggestions take what you want and discard the rest

I did enjoy your story..

Nice work and I hope you did well in the contest.

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Review of Halloween  
Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hello tracey blanchard
I am reviewing for the Simply Positive Trick and Treat Event
Please remember all reviews are opinion *Smile*

A very nice overview of Halloween tradition. There are many more, but you have touched on the most popular and how some have evolved to what we now expect to be customary for Oct. 31.

You had a good strong opening line, but I must admit I did expect a bit more of how Michael Myers and Nightmare on Elm Street fit into the Halloween tradition after reading it.

Obviously you did some research on the Halloween holiday and I enjoyed reading your write.

Overall nice work!

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Ravenwand, Rising Star! I am here from the Simply Positive Trick and Treat
Please remember all reviews are opinion. *Smile*

A very cute, well written Sonnet. You created a lot of imagery in this piece. I could imagine you trying to sew on that tail, then remembering the costume chest. *Smile*

The only stanza I had a stumble with is the second. In the last line I kept switching "past forgotten to Forgotten past when I read it.

Other than that I really liked it
Very nice write

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Review of BEWITCHED  
Review by Origami -
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Hello COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME

I really liked this poem. The flow was great. You had a good build up to the conclusion.
Rhyme was creative and easily read. Stanzas flowed easily from one to the next.

Overall very nice work -- I enjoyed reading this -

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello Colin Back on the Ghost Roads -
I reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Trick and Treat!!
Please remember all reviews are opinion so please take what you like and discard the rest!!

These are some great budget decorations you have come up with, I bet your classroom looks very festive for the Halloween event. *Smile*

By now I am sure you have been informed of the typo in the fourth paragraph (Now -- instead of No) -

Other than that I love the ideas you have suggested. Another way to temporarily keep those ghosties up is to use the static factor. Rubbing the plastic on the top of your head will build enough cling to keep them up to the ceiling for awhile *Smile*

Other than that I see no tech errors -
Very nice write and Thank you for sharing your ideas

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Bluesman

I am reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Halloween Forum *Smile*

I found your poem a very endearing piece about a single light burning bright to keep the things that go "bump in the night" at bay. I do however offer a few humble suggestions:

The piece reads well, but you could sharpen the read by evening out the syllable count. Your lines varied, and I had a hard time keeping my rhythm while reading.

I did like the meaning of the piece.
Even though they tried as they may, they couldn't extinguish the light that barred them, and just increased the glory of it's light by trying.

Very good write! I enjoyed the poem.

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Review of A Journey To Love  
Review by Origami -
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Good write!!

I enjoyed the piece, although I must admit I had to begin it twice to get how the first stanza fit in - Then it dawned on me - setting -

The poem was not only great introspection it was also very visual. I picked up the imagery along the way and it was a very pleasing piece.

You did a great job of keeping the flow of the couplets while carrying the stages of the poetic story.

I don't have any suggestion - In my opinion I think it stands well as is.

Very well written!!

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Review of The Big Race  
Review by Origami -
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Cute funny story.

Your descriptions gave me a clear picture of the entrants and their speedy dash to the finish.

Although I couldn't figure out what they were betting -- by the description they were digging their antes out of their pockets. It seems the winning would have been crumb coated rather than sugar -- *Smile*

Good story and I enjoyed it -

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Review of Just Hold Me Now  
Review by Origami -
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

Love Poetry...
Not often my genre, but here goes -

I found the stanzas interesting, they flowed nicely together and told a very endearing tale.

If I understood the piece, it is about a rejection of love, then coming to terms as a relationship grew into more than you were expecting and finally accepting that you felt the same.

I hope I am close --*Smile*

I enjoyed the write...
Nice work

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (5.0)

I really liked this one.

The flow is great, and I have been through this scenario. My kids no longer hog the phone, but rather run up the cell phone.
I am lucky that my jeans won't fit the kids, but my jewelery is still missing or lent to friends on the promise of a return....still waiting.

Very entertaining write
Nice work!!

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)

Very well done opinion piece.
Thought provoking. Brings to mind questions such as: who decides who stays and who goes? What policies are set in place to keep the Gov't in check on its decision making.

I know several immigrant families that have had many chances from immigration. What makes this case so different that officials decided to implement policy here but not in similar situations? Maybe I will have to do a little reading on my own to get satisfactory answers. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing and writing your views...

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very well written piece. You did nice job of creating visual imagery of how you felt when hearing that your crush returned your affection.

The descriptions of the blush of your face, and how you anticipated his call made the piece even more enjoyable.

From the ending paragraphs one can tell that the infatuation went on for sometime, but didn't say whether it continued to this day. This encounter obviously left an impression on the character. I hope everything worked out for the best for both of them.

Nice write!!

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Review by Origami -
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I liked your point of view on this piece-- I have hosted several troubled teens through my parenting years. I have found that "troubled" is not always proper term for these individuals. Sometimes it is just that these teens need to know that they are wanted and loved. By allowing them to express themselves through creative outlets they have grown to be responsible and terrific adults.
Thanks for sharing your views on parenting.

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)

Well written poem -

I liked the line by line comparative presented in each stanza. You did a good job of using strong imagery to get the point across.

I didn't see any particular form jump out at me, but the meaning was well represented.

Very nice work!!

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Review of A Parent's Love  
Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)


A well presented poem!

You have touched on an emotion not all have experienced. The neglect of a parent, although it may not have been intentional still an obvious affect on life.

In the piece your character overcomes this obstical and finds joy in life from the birth of a child. I hope the other subject finds his peace.

The stanza's were done well and the poem carries emotional merit.

Very nicely done!
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Review of Parasite  
Review by Origami -
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

This is a very well conceived piece. I can relate with the characters, their emotions and feelings toward having a child when barely able to cope on their own.

Although I can say I was never inclined to cause harm to my children, I did have the occasional thought about their father *Laugh*

You outlined their situation extremely well, while in conversation with Kayla's military father.

Jayden character was shown to be responsible for his family, but found a loss of communication with his young wife. Another very well done aspect.

Depression rears it's head in many ways. This was a very strong write.

Very nice work!!

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Review by Origami -
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

I did enjoy the piece. I thought it was a good rendition of your dream. You explained not only the dream, but gave some insight into the inside jokes -- the tissue, the clothing.

The only mix up I had was occasionally having to read a paragraph over again - You may want to italic or somehow set the dream from the narrative..

Overall - well written, and a very touching.

Very nicely done -

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Review of My Plea  
Review by Origami -
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


I can identify with parts of this, and enjoyed the emotional stanza's.
The rhyme scheme was followed and well done. Wording is effective, and the stanza's fit well together.

I think you did a great job in this plea to an alcoholic to leave the bottle and find solace within family.

Well done!!

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Review by Origami -
Rated: E | (4.5)


This is a very inspirational piece on what a flag could / should stand for.
The flow of stanzas are well done and each blends nicely with the next.
I enjoyed the write -

Nice work -

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