I am here on behalf of the Simply Positive review forum. Please remember that this review is only opinion, and should be used as such.
This was a very informative write. You touched on basic information in each paragraph while tantalizing the reader to explore more in depth on their own.
The piece was well written and I found no errors. I think you did a great job of informing the reader of the history of Thanksgiving, and taught me a bit about the origins of the holiday.
I found this little gem, while random port surfing. I am glad I did.
This was a very detailed write. The imagery was intense, but not gory. You held a very fine line in your descriptions.
The language usage was creative, and held my attention. The opening was strong - and you kept the body of the write intense right up to the ending.
You kept me from deciding on who I was rooting for -- the shrink, or the patient - until the plot twist made me decide between the lesser of two evils.
Hello tracey blanchard
I am reviewing for the Simply Positive Trick and Treat Event
Please remember all reviews are opinion
A very nice overview of Halloween tradition. There are many more, but you have touched on the most popular and how some have evolved to what we now expect to be customary for Oct. 31.
You had a good strong opening line, but I must admit I did expect a bit more of how Michael Myers and Nightmare on Elm Street fit into the Halloween tradition after reading it.
Obviously you did some research on the Halloween holiday and I enjoyed reading your write.
I really liked this poem. The flow was great. You had a good build up to the conclusion.
Rhyme was creative and easily read. Stanzas flowed easily from one to the next.
Overall very nice work -- I enjoyed reading this -
Hello Colin Back on the Ghost Roads -
I reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Trick and Treat!!
Please remember all reviews are opinion so please take what you like and discard the rest!!
These are some great budget decorations you have come up with, I bet your classroom looks very festive for the Halloween event.
By now I am sure you have been informed of the typo in the fourth paragraph (Now -- instead of No) -
Other than that I love the ideas you have suggested. Another way to temporarily keep those ghosties up is to use the static factor. Rubbing the plastic on the top of your head will build enough cling to keep them up to the ceiling for awhile
Other than that I see no tech errors -
Very nice write and Thank you for sharing your ideas
Your descriptions gave me a clear picture of the entrants and their speedy dash to the finish.
Although I couldn't figure out what they were betting -- by the description they were digging their antes out of their pockets. It seems the winning would have been crumb coated rather than sugar --
Love Poetry...
Not often my genre, but here goes -
I found the stanzas interesting, they flowed nicely together and told a very endearing tale.
If I understood the piece, it is about a rejection of love, then coming to terms as a relationship grew into more than you were expecting and finally accepting that you felt the same.
The flow is great, and I have been through this scenario. My kids no longer hog the phone, but rather run up the cell phone.
I am lucky that my jeans won't fit the kids, but my jewelery is still missing or lent to friends on the promise of a return....still waiting.
This is a very well written piece. You did nice job of creating visual imagery of how you felt when hearing that your crush returned your affection.
The descriptions of the blush of your face, and how you anticipated his call made the piece even more enjoyable.
From the ending paragraphs one can tell that the infatuation went on for sometime, but didn't say whether it continued to this day. This encounter obviously left an impression on the character. I hope everything worked out for the best for both of them.
I liked your point of view on this piece-- I have hosted several troubled teens through my parenting years. I have found that "troubled" is not always proper term for these individuals. Sometimes it is just that these teens need to know that they are wanted and loved. By allowing them to express themselves through creative outlets they have grown to be responsible and terrific adults.
Thanks for sharing your views on parenting.
You have touched on an emotion not all have experienced. The neglect of a parent, although it may not have been intentional still an obvious affect on life.
In the piece your character overcomes this obstical and finds joy in life from the birth of a child. I hope the other subject finds his peace.
The stanza's were done well and the poem carries emotional merit.
Very nicely done!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is a very well conceived piece. I can relate with the characters, their emotions and feelings toward having a child when barely able to cope on their own.
Although I can say I was never inclined to cause harm to my children, I did have the occasional thought about their father
You outlined their situation extremely well, while in conversation with Kayla's military father.
Jayden character was shown to be responsible for his family, but found a loss of communication with his young wife. Another very well done aspect.
Depression rears it's head in many ways. This was a very strong write.
I did enjoy the piece. I thought it was a good rendition of your dream. You explained not only the dream, but gave some insight into the inside jokes -- the tissue, the clothing.
The only mix up I had was occasionally having to read a paragraph over again - You may want to italic or somehow set the dream from the narrative..
I can identify with parts of this, and enjoyed the emotional stanza's.
The rhyme scheme was followed and well done. Wording is effective, and the stanza's fit well together.
I think you did a great job in this plea to an alcoholic to leave the bottle and find solace within family.
This is a very inspirational piece on what a flag could / should stand for.
The flow of stanzas are well done and each blends nicely with the next.
I enjoyed the write -
I really enjoyed the family legend. It gave a great sense of togetherness. You detailed the surroundings and the events well and it was easy to imagine the surroundings.
And the pumpkin bread sounds pretty good.
Thank you for sharing a family recipe.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
The realization of age - isn't it grand.
I liked this, it was humorous, but a reminder that time waits for no-one and to take advantage of the time you have left.
The rhyme was pleasant and you told a memorable story in the poem.
I enjoyed the write -
The story of a cover-up and the victims retribution.
You did a good job detailing this story, I could get a good image of the characters and their mannerism by the descriptions and conversation.
The plot was well executed. You gave me a beginning - midrise- and ending and were able to keep the some of the suspense.
You gave me empathy for the victim by detailing his history and circumstances surrounding his untimely death.
** Suggestions as always this is just opinion and only that of one person
In the first paragraph, I suggest you switch the first two lines and begin with the conversation line. It may be a stronger line to draw the reader into the story.
Her hands began to shake as a stark realization came over her, end sentenceand the alarm clock fell to the floor with a thud. 2:58 A.M. -- that was the exact time of the accident!
There may be a couple more small errors, but nothing a re-write won't fix.
Good story.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/perkypest
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.30 seconds at 3:16pm on Apr 18, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
