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1,392 Public Reviews Given
2,269 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
In depth, detailed, and honest. I always point out the things I enjoyed most about an item, highlighting the strengths along with any weaknesses or glitches I might find. To me, it's important to let a writer know how something made you feel and what reactions you had when reading, not just the technical aspects.
I'm good at...
Characterization, punctuation, plot, and grammar.
Favorite Genres
Anything dark and angsty. Horror, erotica, dark dramas are usually my favorites.
Least Favorite Genres
Westerns, Sci-Fi, and comedy.
I will not review...
Poetry and non-fiction. I read these for pleasure alone. I don't know enough about the technicalities to give a decent or useful review. Any comments I send are always just based on my personal reactions as a reader.
Public Reviews
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Review of Just Maybe  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ello Kid Stardust !

Another interesting stream of consciousness! Many of us have questioned why. It's not an easy thing to answer, even to ourselves. *Thumbsup*

This piece has a very pensive and reflective tone. It explores your writing and why you feel the drive to do so. Is it the simple pleasure it brings, or perhaps something more.

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
Your exploration of the overwhelming need to write. It's something inexplicable, yet undeniable for many artits.

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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177
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ello Kid Stardust !

Hmm. this is a difficult piece for me to review. I think this is one of those times me not being a poet is hindering my ability to see the forest from the trees. *Blush*

I like this conscious stream of thought. It brings to mind the struggles we all face when trying to free our thoughts from our mind and place them onto paper. It captures that frustrated essence very well and the searching for distractions we all seem to do.

I like the description of your desk. It's always interesting to see/hear where these items take place. For most writers, where they write becomes their haven, their sacred space, uninviting to intrusion.

The most fascinating aspect of this poem is the element I think I might understand. The title and the last line eludes to a freedom, a sense of true self that can only be acieved by lossening up with a little "help." Though I am not one of them, (I'm more of a music and inscence girl, myself) I've heard this is a practice many writers persue. Interesting!

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
Cry them out yet nothing audible is emitted
Funny. I never really thought about this before. We spend hours pouring our heart, soul, and emotion into our work. Those words can range from a whisper to a scream raging from our depths, yet not a sound is heard.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
I'm at a loss here. This is probably something best left to someone who specializes in this area. I really like this poem, but it's not as good as some of your others in my eyes, like "Classic" or some others. Maybe it's my lack of understanding.

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: Good work, my friend. I like the range in your work I am starting to see. Whatever subject your poems touch upon, they always have a nice range of depth!

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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178
Review of I'm Sorry  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there SaintLee. I saw this poem listed on the Public Review page and had to take a look for myself.

This poem is so emotional and it truly tugs at the heartstrings of any child. It brought tears to my eyes and made me pick up the phone to call my own mom. Your sorrow, regret and anger all shine through with each owrd. This is a beautiful and well-written testament to your love for your mother and one child's anguish over feeling they did not or could not do enough. It is a position that is painful and easy to relate to.

Thank you for sharing your work. This was a powerful and emotional read I will not soon forget.
Best wishes*Heart*
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179
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Ello Kid Stardust !

Times are so rough and I think this story is one a lot of people can relate to. It reminds me of when I first moved out on my own, scraping every penny together for food or rent, hoping and praying it would be enough to get by. It was a place I never wanted to return to, yet, *laughs* thanks to the economy, here I am again.

There are some very touching moments in this story. The girlfriend crying herself to sleep in his arms, her hocking her jewelry just to make the bills. All very emotional moments. It's the gift of sacrifice and putting others before yourself that truly testifies to a person's love and caliber as a person.

I really liked how they sat together, talking about their hopes and dreams, the lottery ticket enough to ease their troubles for that moment and allow them an escape. It's a common practice in my house too. *Smile*

This story has a very strong tone. It's gritty, realistic and tinged with equal parts of despair and optimism. Nice job!

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
I think the last line has a particular note of poignancy. We all wonder if/when things will get better and why some people are so much more fortunate than others.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
I think a few more details added throughout would go a long way. What did things feel like, smell like, look like? Playing a little more on each of the five senses would add some depth and allow your readers to feel a greater part of the story. That said, this is one of your best stories. *Smile*

~Niether of us catch a break, she tries I sit and think.
This is 2 seperate sentences. Also, you should have a comma between tries and I.
break. She tries, I....

~At times like these I just know things
At times like these, I

~We talk it flows easy
Two seperate sentences again.
We talk; it

~As people drive through town living "our" life of conversations and dreams. I know they exist yet I know none of them.
I think if you broke this fragment down with commas, it would have a better flow.
dreams, I know they exist, yet I know none of them.

~We wander down the long hallway to bed, I hold
Comma splice. We've talked about those,so I won't reiterate what it is. *Wink*
bed; I

~it's to hot for september.
too hot...September

~ when I make it back in the room she is
When I make it back in the room, she

~This time this day it actually
Since this day is a reapeat and the sentence would still make sense without it, it should be set off with commas.
This time, this day, it

~some pitiul guy
Did you mean pitiful?

~All the while "they" ,those
Punctuation should be inside the quotes.
"they," those

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: I really liked this story of hard luck and hard times. It was nice to see things look up at the end and get that feeling of optimistic hope we all cling to! It's a story any one of us can relate to on a personal level. Nice work!

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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Review of The Classic  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ello Kid Stardust !

Awwww. *Sad* I really love this one, Kid! It has such an enthralling tone to it. The feeling I got inside as I read this was like watching the moon wane in the sky.

This hit my favorite list in works that you have done. I love the comparison of the ending relationship to the rolling credits in a movie. You word things perfectly here. I'm really impressed!

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
I'm hard pressed to pick one thing. This entire item works so well and everything melds together in a perfect fit. however, I'll try to humor you. *Wink*

Lets make it boring but lets make us in love
This simple line says it all and truly tuggs at my heart strings. An eloquent way to wrap things up.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
~Lets
let's

If you change this, I promise you a 5!

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: Awesome work! I really don't know what else to say here. Wait...yes I do. Get back to me with your favorite color. I have a surprise in store for you. *Bigsmile*

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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Review of Love Is a Brawler  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Ello Kid Stardust !

Quite an interesting short story. I wasn't sure where this was headed or why until after the bar scene. Then, it all became clear and I love what you have done with this piece!

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
I love how you compare yourself and love to the guy that would not defend himself in the fight. This was an awesome analogy and here some great descriptive power shone through in your words. It also tied the story together in a neat lil package!

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
~Where you're soul seems
your

~Now the weight was gona, nothing
gone and

~weightless atleast for now
Weightless, at least

~Once upon a time he was
As this is an introductory phrase and you would pause if speaking here, it should have a comma.
Once upon a time, he

~maybe its just pity
it's
contraction for it is

~but it's to much. I'm to far gone.
too
as in an excess or abundance

~I notice a comotion
commotion

~have any Idea what
idea
No need for caps here

~ Guess it really doesnt
doesn't
contraction for does not

~My feet and my head have seperate ideas o wich
of which

~I just couldnt wrap
couldn't
contraction for could not

~I'm to drunk
too

~To many beatings
too

~ I yurn to be that kid
yearn

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: these are just simple edits that won't take long to fix. This was a very interesting story. You make some fascinating comparisons here. Funny how life often imiatates art and inspires the soul. As always, if you make any revisions or corrections, let me know!

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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Review of A Return To Me  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ello Kid Stardust !

Thank for being so patient with me this last week! You're one heck of an adoptee. *Heart*

These are the kind of poems I can really lose myself in. Not ebing a poet, when there is no structure or set pattern, I can really just concentrate on the words.

What I found here was a message of lonliness, a sense of giving up and introverted perception of a relationship, or even the world itself from the outside. No longer really caring to look in. I also get the impression that this poem speaks of moving on and finding those original threads that make us who we are.

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
Returning to lonely, sad, niave me.
Though these words are sad, they are a homecoming. It speaks of being able to let go and move forward. It's only in connecting with who we really are and loving and accepting that that we are capable of loving others.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
The double-double spaced formatting drives me nuts. *Laugh* But, this is your work, format it how you will!

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: I like this item. If one sits and thinks about th words written here, it's a pretty thought provoking piece and gives us a lot to anyalize!

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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Review of Divergence  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, Ken! *Smile*

Oh wow. This piece really speaks of an inner struggle I think many of us face at least once in our lives. Sometimes relationships fade, and with them, our sense of self also seems to dwindle. Youv'e caught and embodied that in perfect form in this poem!

I love the imagery, and the somber tone of this piece. It's not too heavy and depressing, but tinged with a light air of bittersweet despair. Almos the same feeling you get when you know you lay down at night only to have another nightmare. Or opening the freezer in hopes of finding something exotic, only to find left overs and hotdogs. *Laugh*

Great flow and style. Your word choices were impeccable. I have no suggestions for this poem and the last line is one that will stick with the readers! Awesome work!

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*
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Review of HE GIVES ME ALL  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful poem, Sherri and such a touching tribute. Reading this, one could see many different "He"s. That is one thing I really liked. This piece could easily embody a daughter's love for her father, a woman's love for her god, or the tradiational, romantic feelings a woman will harbor for a man. *Thumbsup*

This has a smooth flow and I love the imagery, like his voice being as gentle as his hands and that complete inner fulfillment that makes one's heart sing. I could almost hear this being sung as a tender ballad as well.

Well done! Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*
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Review of Kindle  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there, Hyperiongate! *Smile*

Flash fiction always presents a strong challenge for both writer and reader. What I found in yours was a twisted sense of humor and a hint of bitter irony. I liked the medivela type setting, yet I couldn't help but wonder how they had even heard of Kindle or airports. *Worry* I'll admit, I didn't even know what the wizzard was talking about and had to Google it. *Laugh* That's when the irony hit me. I think this was a great bit of humor and I'm sure it was very uhm...therapeutic to write. Sometimes businesses can be so frustrating!

I did notice one small typo:
~jumbled words with now way
no way

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review of Uninvited Guests  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Jaye! *Smile*

Thanks for dropping by my port. I wanted to return the favor.

Wow you have a whole folder full of ghosty and supernatural stuff! I will definitely have to come back and read some more of these. I chose this one tonight because the title was intruiging and with it being labeled a true story, the temptation was too much!

David is one brave little boy. At nine, I would imagine most kids would not take a family of three in their bedroom as calmly as he did. When their actions turned hostile, and even physical, my heart started pounding. He's such a brave lil soldier!

I love how the mother handled this situation. All too often adults are quick to dismiss things they don't see or understand. She came across as very compassionate and intelligent. All around, these were likeable characters caught in a unlikely situation. As a family, they handled it well and got through it together. *Smile*

*Idea*A Few Small Things:*Idea*
~he gulped, jumped off his bed and ran out
bed, and

~I’m afraid to even be in
There's an extra space between even and be

Hand-in-hand they went
Hand-in-hand, they

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star*
I had to laugh when David's brother called him a brat and told him to sleep in his own room. Such a true sibling! *Laugh*

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing: This was a very interesting read. I'm glad things worked out alright in the end for David and this disgruntled family was also able to find their peace. I look forward to reading more soon!

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review of Twist Of Fate  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ello Kid Stardust ! *Smile*

Interesting reflections of love, muses, and loss. Again, this is an emotional piece where the heart ponders the reasons why it still yearns, why things did not work out for the better.

The mention of a lost muse is sure to spark the interest of any reader and hit a chord we can all relate to. That alone speaks of frustration and yearning on the deepest level...along with possible self-blame.

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
The mention of hindsight. We all know that saying and I think it is never used more than it is in reference to relationships.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
~ and had never met you
I think this would flow better without 'had.'

~sufferring
suffering

~kismet
As this is a proper name, it should be capped.
Kismet

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: Sorry it has been a few days since my last visit. *Blush* I really enjoyed this poem and the title fits the piece nicely. Dang but it is rough losing those muses! *Sad*

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Aww, geez, Meg! *Cry* I went from smiling and happy to bawling like a baby in a matter of minutes. I should have read this one first. It's hard to type through the tears and there's now a solid lump lodged in my throat.

This poem well deserves the ribbon it boasts. It is a beautiful tribute to love and loss. You take the reader full circle, from the early years when these words were whispered, to the hardest time any of us will have to face. Your reflection is very well written and it flows without hitch.

Anything that tears at the heartstrings with the force this poem does is worthy of more than 5 *Star*s. Beautiful and heartbreaking. I have no suggestions.

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
Overview: What a fun and whimsical poem! This brought back great memories of my own youth and all the fun times I had creating things. Your dress sounds like it was something to behold!

This piece had great rhythm and flow. It read without a hitch and put a wide smile on my face.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* The tone of the entire piece. It will take a reader back to a fun time and place. Your imagery was also wondermous!

In Closing: Thank you for sharing this fun-filled glimpse at a young girl and her world. How quick those years go by! I'm glad your mother took the time to teach you something you enjoyed so much and that you were able to show us these magical years through your eyes. It almost reminded me of Scarlett O'Hara...minus that spoiled attitude! *Laugh*

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review of The Path of Life  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.0)
Initial impressions: This is a very difficult piece to review. It's a personal reflection, and a vague thank you to someone you met long ago. I like the style and tone of this piece a lot. It leads to a pensive state of reflection and made me ponder the paths I am on and why. This article brings to mind that age old addage that everyone we meet comes into our life for a reason. It seems this person led you back to where you longed to be, and coming "home" is always a wonderful feeling.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star*
I realized this was my own path, one I had veered from many years before.
And
You were my bridge.
I often feel the same way when thinking of my mother or my sister. But have pushed me back on course more times than I can count.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
~I wish you gave the reader a more general idea of what you meant so that we could connect with this piece. Are you talking about religion, writing, confidence? This is very well written and I feel giving it a specific aim would add a lot more depth.

~Not the paths of others who were destine to
destined

Note: *Note*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you and the work of art you created!*Note**Smile*

Parting Thoughts: I really liked how this piece made me reflect a bit on my own life. It has a wonderful tone and all too often, we forget to thank those that inspire or encourage us along the way. Thank you for sharing! Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review of Luck  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ello again, Dan !

Well now, your opening line is killer. Quite literally! *Smirk* This is a fantastic opening hook and pulled me right into the story. From the get-go, I was held in your thrall.

What an amazing tale. This story reminds me of your other one, "The Wager" that I loved so much, only better! This is such a vivid and unique cast of characters and the way you describe them is something else. Writing aside, this is what really makes the story. The bit about the horned rimmed glasses and side part killed me. With players like Death, Despair, Luck, Lust and others competing for their spot to shine in a setting as rabid as Vegas...whew! That was the perfect backdrop for this tale.

The way the story wound down was touching. It was nice to see Luck try to win out over Despair in heated rivalry. One can see how those two go head to head in a place like Vegas where some hit the jackpot and others gamble away everything they have.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* Too many to list. This was all around a FANTASTIC tale! Still these unique characters, these demi gods are fascinating to read about.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
Not a thing. I tried and I got nothing here. Show off! *Wink*

Parting Thoughts: This is an excellent story and so perfect for March and the St. Patrick's Day theme. I'm green with envy! Please keep that talented pen hard at work!

Best wishes always,
Adriana*Heart*


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192
Review of Black Ice  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Ello Dan !

As promised, I'm stopping by to review!*Bigsmile* I like the title of this story. It hints at peril and well, it could just be me, but beauty. Now the description...that could use some work. *Wink* It's not really a hint of what to expect now is it?

The beginning lures the reader in. The description of this lucious woman will no doubt appeal to the male readers and I like how you somehow made me think her bruises were from one thing but quickly eluded to something brash and exciting!

When the rich and famous had to liquidate last year’s bling for this year’s plastic surgery, *Laugh* I loved this line. This character's cynical sense of humor rivals my own!

The action sequence describing how she got her injuries was amazing! Tight and action packed, it was an intense section that kept me on the edge of my seat. What an exhilerating rush!

You use wonderful description throughout the corise of the story combined with enough action to keep it interesting. You weave a spell of seduction over your reader almost as powerful as the one the jewels have over your protagonist!

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star*
the description of all the jewels and the champagne. Combined, I felt the same heady delight as your character. Oooh sparkly! *Delight*

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
~As she made the turn, the door to the second floor landing burst open and another guard, MP5 drawn, appeared, blocking her decent.
I think you meant descent. Decent is synonomous with good or wholesome. Descent is moving downward.

~“I know it’s hard, but let’s make this last.”
There's an extra space there between this and last.

~ I can't help but wonder why you didn't give her a name? Something as rich and exotic as she is. I think this would add a lot to the story, a point to connect with.

Note: *Note*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you and the work of art you created!*Note**Smile*

Parting Thoughts:This was an excellent read. I felt hypnotized and drawn into the action. As one who loves shiny, sparkly things, this story spoke to the princess inside! You are a very talented author and I look forward to seeing whaat other treats you offer in 2009!

As always, if you make any revisions, please let me know so I can come back and give this another rate. As well written as this is, it deserves a 5!

Best wishes always,
Adriana *Heart*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ello Kid Stardust !

Another wonderful piece. *Delight* I really love the message you convey with your words. One gets a tranquil feeling when reading this, but they also feel a hint of fear. A nagging suspect that all good things will come to an end. That is a possibility none of us ever want to see come to light.

This had a nice flow and scheme. It was an enjoyable read that told the story of a seemingly perfect, but often uprooted life. Hmm, that's a bit of a contradiction! *Laugh*

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
The overall tone and feeling this peice inspires when reading it! *Thumbsup*

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
Just a final go through to perk up capitalization and punctuation. that will give this that "golden sheen" that you spoke of in the poem!

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: It's such a joy to read and review your work. I'm not a poetry expert, but you have a strong knack for conveying emotions and pulling them from your reader. I really look forward to seeing where your talent and journey through WDC takes you. *Heart*

As always, if you make any revisions, please let me know and I will adjust my rating!

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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Review of Mara's Musings  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This is great, Mara! *Heart* Your personality and humor really shine through in this blog! Little snippets of humor and your sarcastic wit come together with life's moments and give the reader a deeper innsight into the woman behind the screen. If anyone wants to get to know this talented author and what makes them tick, this is the way to do it.

The image you chose suits you so well. It's pensive and beautiful, just like the author behind it. I hope that you will continue to track your journey and that 2009 brings your hopes and dreams to light.

Best wishes my dear sister and happy writing! *Kiss*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Travis, and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile*

Very interesting proposal. It does sound as if this would help fix the economy, if people put that money to good use. The problem is, there are many who wouldn't. The basis for your proposal is, if you want money put into the economy, people need the money to spend. In this day and age, there just isn't much wiggle room for the average American to spend on necessities like a roof over their head and food, let alone any extras.

I like that you state sources for your information and give the statistics to back up your facts. My only suggestion would be to format this with an extra line break between paragraphs, as many readers might be turned off by a huge block of text and it makes it easier on the eyes when it's on a computer screen.

Thanks for sharing this interesting point of view on the economy. It seems like such a simple answer. Too bad it's not on any ballots. Best wishes, and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review of Simply C ~ Notes  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Ooh! What a lovely shop! You have such a wide range of notes here for purchase: from elegant, to funny, to cute! I really like the two kids hugging, but then I do have a bit of a squeezing issue. *Laugh*

The prices are very reasonable and there seems to be something for every need. I'm bookmarking this for future use. It's nice to see your port expanding, and even more newfound talents cropping up. Great job!
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Review of My wishes  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile* I really like this poem. It speaks of sorrow but is full of strength, where the reader can tell the writer's eyes are on the horizon. Abuse damages more than the body, it crushes the spirit and weighs people down beneath the fear of judgement. You do an excellent job conveying the inner struggle and hope one feels for a better future. *Thumbsup*

My only suggestions would be to make sure you use I instead of i throughout the poem.
Also Ide should probably be I'd and dont don't

Just some small suggestions. If you make any revisions, please let me know. I'd love to come back and give this piece a 5!

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*
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Review of Dark Poet  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Criticism? Though I am no poet, I'm not sure I could find anything along that vein if I spent a week going over this with a fine tooth comb, Ken! *Shock*

Dark, brooding, this poem speaks with enticing beauty. It puts into eloquent words, something I have tried to explain many times. There is a certain comfortable familiarity in the darkness. It is not a conscious choice on the writer's part, but something much deeper and preordained.

I love the flow and tone of this piece. It speaks to the soul in soothing tones, washing over it like a receeding tide. If Poe could read these words, he would most assuredly agree.

*Star* I Especially loved this part: Delivered from its shackles,
I place it on parole.
I find that I am free at last

Oh if only that were true!

Thank you for sharing. I will be sure to visit your port again soon. *Heart* Best wishes and happy writing!


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199
199
Review of Acceptance  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings xXCelticxXAshXx and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile* I saw your story listed in the read a newbie column and had to take a peek.

Initial impressions: Wow! *Thumbsup* This was amazing. It's a very well-written and heart breaking story of a young man coming to age and to terms with who he is.

While emotional, it is not oversaturated. It comes across as genuine, not melodramatic. My heart went out to Adrian as he remembered his mother and the good times he used to have with his father. I rooted for what felt like the impossible for this poor kid.

The characters: Adrian is who he is. He's very family orientated and his relationship with his father means every thing to him. He's believeable and this story is one I can see playing out in any home across the globe. Great depth, demension, and realisim.

Ethan, his father, sadly is also beliveable. Older generations are not as accepting of homosexuality as the younger ones are. They were raised to believe it wrong...but if you also quote the same source so many use to condemn gays...it also says children should be stoned to death if they disobey their parents. *Worry* I'm glad that is not taken as literally, as I doubt any of us would be alive!

I sense a want to accept his son, but Ethan seems afraid. He doesn't come across as evil, or hateful, just hurt and scared. For that reason, I could relate to him and even like him.

I like how you leave things open ended. It gives hope that maybe things can be resolved. One can make any outcome they wish.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* His father looking back at him before he leaves. That and the genuine depth of emotion your characters exhibit.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*

Adrian than continued to run into the house
Than is used to compare one thing to another. Ie I make more money than him. Then Is used to denote time or sequence. *Smile*
Adrian then continued.....

Adrian collapsed to the floor in heart braking tears
heartbreaking

Note: *Note*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you and the work of art you created!*Note**Smile*

Parting Thoughts: Awesome story! These characters and their tale will stik with me for a long time. You seem like a very talented writer and I look forward to reading more of your work.

I hope you are finding your way around the site alright and enjoying your experience here. If you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me.

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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200
200
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Initial impressions: With a title like this, how could one not be tempted to peek? This is one article I would advise all members to read before opening their mouths to complain.

You address a common gripe in a manner that is both well written and humorous. (Maybe it's just me, but I often detect a hint of sarcasm.) In a calm, level-headed manner, you approach the various aspects of the site that are free and offer reasons for why certain things are not.

One of the main things many people don't realize is the mass amount of bandwith a site like this uses. Nearly everything is offered to users at no cost. If WDC did not offer membership options, the out of cost expenses would drive you, SMs, and baby Jack straight to the poor house.

Honestly, I never stopped to think about all the things that are free to users, but never thought to complain either. You can limit your port to the ten items or less, or upgrade. It seemed as simple as that.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* The extensive list of free services. It was a simple reminder of all the things we tend to take for granted. *Worry*

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea* Besides more free services? *Laugh* Honestly, I have nothing. This was a great article and a humble reminder that both informed and entertained.

Parting Thoughts: I'm sure you don't hear it often. It seems everywhere I look anymore, someone is complaining about this that or the other thing. So, thank you. To you and the Story Mistress. You run an incredible site that I enjoy. Not only has it helped me grow and introduced me to some of the most wonderful people imaginable, but it's also helped me realize some of my life-long dreams. I don't know how you both manage to do all that you do, but feel confident in saying you must have the patience of a saint. *Heart*

Oh and by the way, paid memberships are worth every penny!


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