Dear GregRyan  
I'm more than happy to return the favor. You've listed this static as a story and I'll attempt to review it as such. Bare with me because my confidence in my own opinion these days is battered. A part of me keeps saying, "What right have I to judge this, I don't know how to write." lmfao Yes, the evil self-doubt rears in even professional writers.
Anyway, let me digress from the review one more moment to thank you again for all the wonderous feedback you gave me on "Invalid Item"  I've made a couple more changes based on your comments and am very pleased with the poems progress.
Now to your story:
You've got the makings of a great first paragraph with enough information to provoke the readers interest. The only problem is that its wonders are lost because the punctuation and sentence structure are clumsy. *kicks self, because as a copyeditor I'm used to 'fixing' things for people instead of giving them the information they need to know "WHY" it needs to be fixed and "HOW" to fix it themselves*. Bare with me I'll show you what I mean:
St Illtyds church; founded in early 13th century, and being the visiting place of the likes of Charles 1st and John Wesley, the church now stands almost modestly in its place after being restored in the 20th century. Once a vision of desolation, an empty and window bricked shell of a place that looked, for all the scaffolding that adorned it for support, like it might fall at any moment. Now a monument, still as magnificent as the day it was built.
*trips over the semi-colon and rolls down the stairs of a run-on sentence* Now you know why I used the word, 'clumsy', above. That's how it feels to read. At this point I'd say cut the semi-colon and rephrase so it can be joined with what follows.
Almost modestly St. Illtyds Church still stands. It was founded in early 13th century and restored seven centuries later (be more speficic and give a year of completion).
It had at one time been an empty, window-bricked shell of desolation. The supporting scaffolds could barely hold aloft the cracked ceilings. Today, her youth reclaimed, she is a monument, as magnificent as the day she was built and as Charles the First and the great John Wesley (give details of who these people are and why we care), might have remembered her.
*chuckles* Um... See what I mean about my copyediting experience. I'm going to stop right there on that issue and try going back to telling you my observations and NOT doing the work for you.  Hopefully that example shows you what I mean about tidying up the loose structure so readers aren't falling over things.
Ok, paragraphs. I recommend when publishing content online like we do on WDC to double-enter. That way your paragraphs are broken by a line of what is called 'white space' Yeah ok so on WDC it's yellow not white but that's the term for any space on webpage that doesn't have image or text on it.
One of these people...
I felt this needed to be the start of a new paragraph.
Falling to the less than welcoming grass below and looking up, slightly dazed, he saw only the superficial shell of the church’s former glory and, riding on, he soon forgot.
Um... Didn't he just fall OFF his horse? So how can he 'ride on'? Having been tossed so dramatically we'd think there is a reason to his having fallen at that point. If there isn't a reason for it then, 'snip!', doesn't belong in the story.
Harsh sweeps stole the drama of the sky and tactful strokes captured the shadows of the dark gravestones.
Ohhhhh, LOVE this sentence. It's almost like poetry. The words "stole" and "captured" together really give the readers a gripping visual.
stabbing leaves, branches and trees into existence.
Yep, just like the last part I loved. "stabbing" great descriptive word that really 'shows' the reader rather then tells them. 
I enjoy the way the past and present come together at the end. I'd separate both the section of the boy and the final paragraph with stars like you did in the devision between boy and man to make them each segments of a whole.
I think the section about the man, the painter, is brilliant and the boy didn't capture that in me. We saw less of how the building spoke to the boy then we did for the man. The energetic descriptions of how he put what his eyes saw on paper made it very clear that his heart took in the building as more than a pile of bricks. Obviously a boy wouldn't resonate so completely but we don't really get an impression of how much the boy noticed.
Perhaps instead of having him ride past on a horse you could put the boy closer to things. Have him wander the halls, or climbing up a wall or tree to peer inside. Have him more interested in the building. You could again have his interest broken by something so that there is a definate detachment giving the break from boy to man as you already have.
Obviously you've written something intriguing here because I've really seeped into it to give such a lengthy, indepth review. It's a lovely story that captures the building.
Have fun and keep writing.
Yours Truly,
Rebecca Laffar-Smith 
Ohhh and PS. FILL IN YOUR BIO BLOCK!  I'd like to know more about you.
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