My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Michelle recounts how she met Daniel on a day that was really depressing for her.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the sincerity that Michelle captured. She was very genuine and honest and that made her love for Daniel all that more convincing.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Michelle. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. It anything, I would indent each line of dialogue. Reading in a paragraph with the narration can be disconcerting for the reader.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scene.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban place?
If anything, I would clarify this for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Michelle
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's not necessarily looking to fall in love, but she is upset with Daniel. They become friends before they fall in love.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. Good character voice. Keep writing!
Hello, I'm StephBee and I'm judging this entry for the Best of the Rest Contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE QUIZ
This quiz is based on a character from Naruto.
WHAT I LIKED
I think if you are into the characters from Naruto, this would be a very fun quiz.
CONTENT
I thought the questions were appropriate and the multiple choice answers appropriate.
MECHANICS
I might suggest an edit for spelling. I searous for "serious."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I might suggest offering a little bit more overview in the introducution. I am not familiar with the characters of Naruto, and maybe you could explain the basics. Is is Japanese Anime? Perhaps a graphic in the introduction would help to set the theme or tone of the quiz? Good luck in the Best of the Rest Contest contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A plaid shirt has four different adventures with four very different people.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved how the theme of love was used to tie the stories together with the shirt. Well done!
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the different perspectives with shifts appropriately done. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration in each vignette.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting?
This is something that that is not defined but could be clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Plaid Shirt
The plaid shirt and the theme of love tie the stories together. The shirt takes on a "type" of representative love in each vignette.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. A poignant vignette centering on a simple item, a plaid shirt, which comes to have a deeper meaning. Keep writing!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Marli returns to Kerk as a ghost. A medium tries to convince her to cross over into the "light."
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the dark, gothic, overtones of romance in the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited mainly by Kerk. Good job on POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moved the plot forward. Nice show and tell.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but you could to this if you wanted.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: rural?
I thought this could be further clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Kerk
There's enough here to understand his motivations. His love for Marli keeps her close.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. I thought the opening caught the reader's attention and started where it needed to - in the heart of the problem. The story was a darker styled romance. Keep writing!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Marie runs a school in Charleston, SC (1875) that accepts Northern and Southern girls. The dynamic is complicated when a divorced man enrolls his daughter, and Marie feels an attraction to him.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the setting. I think it's something new to explore in romance writing.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited. Chapter one was good, in Marie's perspective, but I thought the POV shifted in later chapters and I got a little confused at times. I would suggest using one point of view per chapter. If you need to shift in chapters, use a line break. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moved the plot forward. Good show and tell.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. I thought you did a good job with this and felt like I was back in Charleston in 1875.
SETTING
TIME: 1875
PLACE: Charleston, SC
Well done. I thought you did a great job clarifying the setting for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Marie
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's concerned about money affairs surrounding the school and there's a spark of attraction to Mr. Matthews.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. I thought the opening was a bit slow, but I think the setting captures the reader's attention. I would go right into the meeting with Mr. Matthews. In this case, I think chp 2 would make the better opening. I think you've got a good, solid effort here.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE FOLDER
The folder contains the author's drama short stories.
WHAT I LIKED
There's a nice collection of stories in the folder that embody the drama genre.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes in the introduction.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
My only suggestion would be to expand the introduction a little, maybe use some WDC ML or a graphic to set the tone or theme of the folder visually. A nice folder that captures a good collection of stories.
Kiya, You've got a great folder and I'm looking forward to seeing you expand it. The stories in the folder are appropriate the theme of the folder and I love your opening graphic. It sets the tone for the reader as to what to except! As always, it's a pleasure to pop into your port!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
This is a script, focusing on scene development. A young Elizabeth Tudor comes to a major decision in her life.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the use of the three characters. It was just right for the scene!
DIALOGUE
The dialogue felt natural to the scene and the characters. It was easy to understand.
SETTING
TIME: mid 1500's
PLACE: rural setting?
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Elizabeth
There's enough here to understand her motivations. Her brother explains how the recent death of her step-mother has upset her.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
My only suggestion for improvement would be to expand and build on this. It's a great vignette and does a lot in a short amount of space. I can see you developing this into a 3 or 5 act play. Keep writing!
Hello, this is StephBee with a review for the Best of the Rest Contest
THE FORUM
The forum offers merit badges for reviews.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the whole aspect of "paying-it-forward" where the reviewer will also be reviewed and given a merit badge.
THE RULES
The rules were clearly stated and easy to understand.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Good use of WDC ML and graphices. I loved the gift aspect of the concert and it captured the holiday spirit. I'd love to see you bring it back various times of the year. Perhaps Easter, or 4th July. Just a suggestion, nothing more.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A young Army Captain is charged with preparing memorial services for over 200 dead military members.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved how the story showed the two different viewpoints of Mike and Stacy and how they dealt with the situation. Their reactions seemed true to them, and yet each dealt with the sad news in a different way. Mike was more reflective and it cut him more to the quick, but he was quiet and carried his sadness with quiet grace. Stacy was a dynamno just moving from one task to another until she had to look the sadness in the face and she broke down. Well done.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person mainly from Stacey's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are "spot on."
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes.
SETTING
TIME: 1983
PLACE: Dover AFB
This is clarified enough for the reader. Well done. I guess, and this is just me being picky, you could probably describe the AFB just a wee bit more - the smells, what it sounded like...
CHARACTERS
Stacy
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She just pushes and pushes herself and avoids until she's forced to realize how poignant this is for her. When it's needed, her inner strength shines through.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The beginning grabs the reader and keep them reading. A gripping story, realistic, and heartfelt. It tells a side of military life I don't think a lot of see, the "behind the scenes" of the battlefield, and that even being behind the scenes is just as important as being on the front lines. The awardicon is well deserved.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Vince overhears two teenagers talk about the war in Iraq in a coffee house.
WHAT I LIKED
A very poignant vignette. It tugs on a lot of emotion and is very realistic.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person mainly from Vince's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good job with the dialogue tags.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scene. I could picture the coffee house in my mind.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE:coffee house
This is clarified enough for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Vince
There's enough here to understand him. He grits his teeth as he listens to two teenagers who, to him, don't understand the nuanances of war.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The vignette touches the heartstrings of the reader. Vince's inner strength and courage shine through even though this is not an action/adventure story. The beginning catches the reader's attention and keeps it.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
It is World War II and three Russian soldiers face a German squad of Panzers.
WHAT I LIKED
I like historicals and this story took place during World War II. I also liked the fact it took a look at the war from the Soviet side of house. We have a lot of writing about the Germans, Americans, and British perspective, but this was something new and I liked that.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Anton. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. I thought the descriptions were just right for the story. If you wanted to expand your writing, you might try place a metaphor here or there, but the story is fine without them.
SETTING
TIME: World War II, 1941
PLACE: Somewhere in Russia/Soviet Union
This was clarified enough for the reader. Good job with the setting.
CHARACTERS
Anton
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He faces a no-win scenerio with inner strength until he cracks.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. A solid short story that has an appropriate ending. The beginning engages the reader. I enjoyed reading the story.
This is a Show Off Your Best at the Sandbox Review. My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ARTICLE
The article discusses the origins of Memorial Day.
WHAT I LIKED
The article is easy to read and understand.
BODY OF THE ARTICLE
The article gets to the heart of the matter discussing the Civil War roots of Memorial Day. Very concise.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. It's always nice to revisit a holiday's origins. It helps to keep us grounded in that holiday. Word was listed in accordance with the contest rules. Good luck in the contest!
This is a Show Off Your Best at the Sandbox Review. My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A platoon sergeant is in charge of arranging a soldier's funneral during the Vietnam War.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the ending. It was poignant and real and showed how far we've come as a nation in 40 years.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by the platoon sergeant. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
The dialogue accents the narration.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on.
SETTING
TIME: 1960's/70's
PLACE: rural setting.
This is something that was clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
The Platoon Sergeant
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's a good guy and he went to support a family during the loss of their loved one. What he observed is a statement to human nature at the time.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. Good character voice. Word was listed in accordance with the contest rules. Good luck in the contest!
This is a review for the Bard's Hall Contest. My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
The narrator gets lost in the horrors of the mind.
WHAT I LIKED
Great descriptions with a good economy of words. You had me spooked!
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by the narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's no dialogue.
DESCRIPTIONS
The descriptions really bring out the horror, but they aren't overwhelming.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting/in patient facility for mental illness?
This is something that is not defined but could be clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Narrator
There's enough here to understand his motivations. Why he's in an inpatient facility
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling /punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The opening engages the reader, making them want to read more. Good opening line. As usual, Bill, a sucluenct (sp) horror read from you. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules.
Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for The Best of the Rest Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE IN & OUT
This in and out offers inspirational quotes based on "karma."
WHAT I LIKED
I believe in karma. This is a nice place to pop into and get inspired, especially with NaNoWriMo this month.
CONTENT
There are a lot of quotes. Nice variety.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The centering of the in & out is a bit off and it's too big for my screen. Good use of WDC ML. Good use of graphics to set the mood for the in & out. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Fay is a pysch student who finds it challenging.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the ending. It was very dramatic and intense.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited from Fay's perspective. The POV switches with no clear line breaks which readers can find disconcerting. (It's known as head hopping.) I might suggest an edit for POV narration and stick strictly with Fay's perspective. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest spacing between dialogue tags. Keeping tags in a paragraph can be disconcerting to readers.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: college campus?
This is something that that is not defined but could be clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Fay
There's enough here to understand his motivations. The end plays into all her concerns.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A princess, Annabelle, is passionately in love with Adrian, but her father wants her to marry Marcus.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author used letters to tell the story. Very creative. You don't see that too much. I also liked the title. It summed up the essence of the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person mainly by Annabelle through her letters. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I know it's a letter, but you could use metaphors, strategically placed to describe high emotion.
SETTING
TIME: long ago
PLACE: Ireland
This is something that was clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Annabelle
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's not in love with the man who will be her husband, so she writes letters to her love, Adrian.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The letters tell a romantic, yet sad story, reminicient of "Romeo & Juliet."
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A man helps an elf free a wizard from a fallen tree.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the writer's style. It was easy to read and easy to get into the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward. Good job with dialogue tags
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: forest/hospital ER
This was clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Unnamed narrator
If anything, I might have had the elf or the wizard ask his name. It's the least they can do for him helping them. There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's a good samaritian.
MECHANICS
I might suggest an edit for spelling/punctutation. If you do an edit, let me know and I'll increase your rating.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. Also, I might want to double check the ending - it seems to be rather abrupt and I'm not sure you meant to leave the story hanging like that. Good character voice.
Hello, this is StephBee with a Best of the Rest Contest Review.
THE FORUM
This forum hosts the author's review page.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the theme which revolved around coffee.
CONTENT/RULES
The rules were easy to understand. Nice variety of packages to choose from. The prices were reasonable.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
I have no sugestions for improvement. Good use of WDC ML and graphics. The opening graphic helped to set the theme of the forum. A nice way to support the WDC Community. Good luck in the Best of the Rest Contest.
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My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
WHAT I LIKED
