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4,093 Public Reviews Given
4,222 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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101
101
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Nikola~Loving Her Gracie Girl!

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.

This was a fun poem to read; it reminded me of the songs like "Goodbye Earl" from The Chicks where the delight in the story is for a bad person to get their comeuppance. The characters were well-developed and engaging for such a short piece. The only difficulty I had was with the structure of some of the lines... some of them rhymed and some of them didn't so, as I was reading, I found myself having to go back over and over again, trying to figure out what the pattern was. If it's intended to be totally free verse, I'd recommend less rhyming... or if it is supposed to rhyme, perhaps breaking it up into stanzas so the rhyme scheme is more apparent. Other than that, though, I really enjoyed the read!

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
102
102
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Magoo

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.

I really loved this poem! The imagery was excellent, with vivid detail and description, and the pacing and structure really worked. I thought the comedic twist at the end was amusing and played well. I don't have any specific suggestions for improvement; I think it's great just the way it is!

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
103
103
Review of Excerpt 1  
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Serendipitypity

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.

I like the second person point of view in this item. I think it was an effective way to immediately draw the reader in to a short item like this, and you used just enough detail to paint a vivid picture while also keeping the narrative moving along.

I did notice one typo... toward the end of the piece you used the phrase "and bare witness" which I think should be "and bear witness," but nice job other than that.

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Dragonbane

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.

I enjoyed reading these first two chapters of your fantasy story. Overall, I think Aurora is an interesting character with a lot of potential, and the world you've created is vivid and intriguing. If I had one suggestion for improvement, it would be to vary your sentence structure and narrative pattern a bit; there was a tendency for every sentence to read much the same to the point where it felt hard to differentiate between the salient details and the descriptive flourishes. I'd recommend adding a little variety to the sentence structure and things you're focusing the prose on, so that you can draw the reader's attention to specific things rather than just laying out a step-by-step progression of events.

Other than that, though, I think there's a lot of potential in these first two chapters, and the making of an exciting fantasy tale! *Smile*

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
105
105
Review of Bueberries  
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Llothy54

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.

I think this definitely qualifies as a "memorable" incident at school, as the intro description implies. *Shock* Overall, I thought you did a good job of setting up the payoff at the end of the story with just the right amount of detail and description. The tone straddles the line between straight comedy and gross-out humor, and you did a good job of landing on a memorable note. There is a typo in the title of your item, but otherwise I don't have any major suggestions.

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
106
106
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Redtowrite

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.

I really enjoyed this story. Cassidy is a great character, and Donny is a three-dimensional foil for her. The only real issue I had with this story was that the timing/pacing felt a little off... there's a lot of time spent focused on their initial sexual encounter as kids, then it kind of breezes through Cassidy's entire lifetime before landing at the reunion. It felt a little like I was reading a fast-forwarded part in the middle because it didn't have the same attention to detail as the opening paragraphs and was more of a series of vignettes or a summary. I'd recommend either expanding the story to give certain other moments the same weight as the first one, or abridging the initial encounter a bit so it's not so unevenly weighted in terms of the attention the story gives it.

I also found Cassidy's motivations toward the end when she meets Donny again a little confusing. At first she seems to want him. She's been lonely this whole time having lost out on the love of her life, and she approaches him clearly as the more assertive one looking to connect with him... but then at the end she confidently walks away from him and thinks he's kinda of pathetic. For that kind of emotional journey, I think you again have a bit of a pacing issue where she goes from one extreme to the other in a very short amount of time. I'd recommend either expanding the story to account for more of the emotional journey she's on, or changing the entry point where she's coming in emotionally, so it's not as wild a swing from one extreme to the other.

Aside from those pacing issues, though, I thought this was a great story. There's a ton of potential here as both of the characters involved are engaging, three-dimensional, and complex. This is a really great foundation. Nice work! *Bigsmile*

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
107
107
Review of Office Ghost  
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello D.B.

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.

This was an intriguing read about the apparent supernatural events in your husband's old office. I thought you did a good job describing the details in a way that made the narrative vivid with clear imagery, but not so overly-detailed that the piece of writing was longer than it needed to be. I think this piece was the perfect length for a quick anecdote about your husband's creepy old office. As an employee who's worked in plenty of aging buildings over the years, I can certainly relate to odd noises and sounds every so often!

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
108
108
Review of "A Day"  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I caught this item via Random Read and just wanted to say that I think you did a great job with it. It was well-written, eloquent, and really got your point across well. I could see this being a daily prayer or mantra. Thanks so much for sharing your work with the Writing.com community! *Bigsmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
109
109
Review of FOCUS  
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello BEAR

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.

Overall, I really like the style and presentation of this poem. It was concise, evocative, and flowed really well. The only slight criticism I have is that some of the rhyming couplets didn't quite rhyme perfectly (town/around in the third stanza, and crowd/woods and corner/sure in the sixth stanza), or had a singular/plural conflict, but those were relatively minor quibbles with an otherwise enjoyable poem that really got its point across effectively. Nice work!

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
110
110
Review of Mutiny  
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Anni Pon

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.


*Writing* Positives

I thought this poem was really creative; I love the idea of comparing body parts to the crew of a ship, and a mutinous crew at that! The structure of the rhyme scheme also kept the pacing of the poem moving briskly through all 48 lines.


*Writing* Suggestions

I can't think of any significant suggestions for improvement.


*Writing* Overall

This was a really creative and fun poem to read. Nicely done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
111
111
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Happy Adore♥

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews"  activity.


*Writing* Positives

This was a fun, breezy poem written for the site's 22nd birthday. I like the simplicity of the piece, and I'm not sure whether it was intentional or not, but it seemed to follow the general cadence of the "Happy Birthday" song, which I thought was a really enjoyable little detail.


*Writing* Suggestions

The rhyme scheme doesn't always match. In each of the first two stanzas, the rhyme scheme is AAB, AAB... but in the third stanza it's ABC ("roared" and "floors" don't rhyme the first two lines like in the previous stanzas)... and in the fourth stanza it's AAA (all three lines rhyme). As a result, it was a little difficult to settle into a consistent cadence or pace when reading.


*Writing* Overall

As a whole, this was a simple and entertaining poem celebrating a birthday milestone for the community. I think there's room for improvement, especially with clarifying the structure and whether the deviations in the later stanzas was intentional, but otherwise I very much enjoyed the read. *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
112
112
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Musicology Banner


Hello Dawn Embers

Thank you for taking the time to enter "Musicology Anthology"  in 2023! Enclosed please find the following official judges' review, for your consideration.


Unfortunately, this entry was incomplete with only nine of the twelve entries completed, but I enjoyed reading the stories that you did finish.

I'm enclosing some GPs in acknowledgement of the effort you put into this entry. I'd love to see you come back and participate again in 2024!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
113
113
Review of Musings...  
for entry "A stairway to nowhere" 
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)


Hello Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

This review is being sent in connection with "Twenty-three in Eleven " .


Positives

My turn to return the favor with a "Hook of the Book"  entry review! I really like the fact that you went more abstract with your choice. Most people chose a more specific, material interpretation of the prompt and I think it's really to your benefit that you went in the other direction and will stand out for doing so. I also like the slightly ominous note that you ended the hook on.


Suggestions

I think the "it's all about perspective" opener is actually unnecessary; to me it's even more effective if you just get right into the imagery of light and darkness colliding and there being something in the void that we can't quite see. It adds to the abstract, mysterious tone of the piece to not have that qualifier at the very top of the piece.


Overall

I really enjoyed this entry into the "Hook of the Book"  challenge. It's intriguing and definitely would make me want to read more of the book that it was the opener for! *Bigsmile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,
Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
114
114
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Hello Weirdone-Back in the games

This review is being sent in connection with "Twenty-three in Eleven " .


Positives

I enjoyed the pacing and structure of the poem. I thought the choice of poetic form was a good complement to the subject matter, and it was a light, fun poem to read.


Suggestions

My only real (minor) quibble with this piece was that it took me a couple times reading the poem to find the answer to the prompt (i.e., why the gum is popular and what the side effects are), so I think that could have been highlighted a little better... as it is, it was difficult to tell whether the "flying into the air by blowing bubbles" was meant to be taken literally (as a feature of the gum) or figuratively (as merely aspirational and/or imaginary).


Overall

I enjoyed this entry a lot, and thought it was a great take on the prompt. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,
Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
115
115
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Hello ruwth

This review is being sent in connection with "Twenty-three in Eleven " .


Positives

I had no idea I was going to be reviewing a poem inspired by one of my own poems! How cool! *Cool* I really liked your take on the form, and thought you did a great job with the imagery and structure of the piece.


Suggestions

No suggestions for improvement, I think you did a really good job!


Overall

I think your choice of poetic form for this piece was excellent; the repetition and format really helped accentuate your message (which definitely bears repeating!). I thought the piece was well constructed and well presented. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,
Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
116
116
Review of Musings...  
for entry "Say yes..." 
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Hello Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

This review is being sent in connection with "Twenty-three in Eleven " .


Positives

I really enjoyed this conversation about a future bride and groom getting cold feet. The interactions were realistic and engaging, and you did a great job of telling a story that continually moved along and progressed using only dialogue, which is not something that's easy to do!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this entry. I thought you did a great job with the prompt and the entry kept my interest from beginning to end. Nice work! *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,
Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
117
117
Review of How?  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


Hello Spring in my Sox

This review is being sent in connection with "Twenty-three in Eleven " .


Positives

I thought this was a really creative vignette. It definitely piqued my interest and kept me wondering what was going to happen throughout. I also really likes some of your turns of phrase; "He floated in the embryonic glow of eternity" was a particular vibrant and well-written line to end on.


Suggestions

There were a couple of phrases that didn't quite connect for me. Particularly toward the middle of the vignette, the sentence, "We could have gone Luddied on them and everything else chasing us down the road to Armageddon. No, we had to have our YouTube, our Facebook, our Amazon two-day shipping." I think it would have been helpful to have a little more context so the reader can connect the dots between modern technology and what is happening in the story. How did social media and YouTube and Amazon two-day shipping get us to the point we're at in the story.


Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the vignette and thought you did a really good job with it. Nice work! *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,
Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
118
118
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)


Hello Weirdone-Back in the games

This review is being sent in connection with "Twenty-three in Eleven " .


Positives

I really liked the premise and the style of the story; it read like a classic tale of a mysterious stranger rolling into town and disrupting the status quo. I also enjoyed the fact that Dr. Carlini at first seems like a typical snake oil salesman, but it turns out the remedy he's offering actually does have an effect on the townspeople.


Suggestions

It was a little unclear what the "anti-adhesive" actually does. Is it some sort of aging serum? The effects of the three characters who take it are all a bit different, and a little clarity by the end of the story about what it does, specifically, would have helped a bit.

I also think that the townspeople far too easily agreed to take the serum. In the early part of the story, convincing two children to try it seemed plausible, but then the reverend also follows suit without question (even though he finds Dr. Carlini highly suspicious), and the two kids who took the serum and had undesirable effects allowed Dr. Carlini to take them to a private location and give them more of the serum without any kind of doubt, suspicion, or pushback.


Overall

I think this story has a ton of potential. I was interested in the characters and it was technically well-written. I think there are definitely opportunities to clarify what the serum does and for Dr. Carlini to have to work a little harder to convince the other characters to try his mystery substance, but otherwise I found the story really entertaining and enjoyable to read. Nice work! *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,
Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
119
119
Review of Flaming News  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!


*Gavel*

OFFICIAL JUDGE'S REVIEW


Hello PureSciFiPlus

Thank you for taking the time to enter the March 2023 round of the "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Enclosed please find the following review, for your consideration.


Positives

The scenes themselves were interesting and engaging.


Suggestions

I didn't quite follow the opening scene where Thomas Crane was reading a paper that was literally on fire, but then continued to read his newspaper as if it was no big deal. It also felt like there were a few too many characters and subplots to keep track of for a story of this brevity; it was difficult to piece together a common throughline or theme with the narrative jumping around so much.


Overall

All the work put into developing so many different vignettes was really impressive, but ultimately that's what this story felt like... a collection of vignettes more than a cohesive short story based on the prompt. Still, it was an enjoyable read. *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
120
120
Review of Ignatius Pyre  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!


*Gavel*

OFFICIAL JUDGE'S REVIEW


Hello Beholden

Thank you for taking the time to enter the March 2023 round of the "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Enclosed please find the following review, for your consideration.


Positives

I thought this story had great characterization, a compelling story, and a good take on the prompt.


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this contest entry. I thought it was well written, compelling, and very entertaining. Nicely done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
121
121
Review of A Burning Matter  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!


*Gavel*

OFFICIAL JUDGE'S REVIEW


Hello LightinMind

Thank you for taking the time to enter the March 2023 round of the "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Enclosed please find the following review, for your consideration.


Positives

Good use of narrative details.


Suggestions

The image prompt didn't seem to be utilized in any significant way.

Ralph's actions felt like a stretch. While there was certainly groundwork laid for taking extreme action (losing his job, the judgement of his community, etc.), there wasn't a clear progression of the character's desperation that showed his increasing isolation and extremism from a down-on-his-luck guy who lost his job to a mass murderer. It felt almost like he just cooly and calmly decided on a whim to carry out a shooting on the congregation at his church, which felt inauthentic to what had previously been established about his character.


Overall

Overall, I had a difficult time getting into this story. While I don't mind stories about difficult subject matter and risque/incendiary topics, it felt like the church shooting (and specifically the choice to describe the shooting of a pregnant woman in the stomach) was more performative in nature than authentic to the character and his situation. It felt like this story was trying a little too hard to be edgy and push boundaries that didn't have effective setups to maximize the payoff.


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
122
122
Review of The Will  
Rated: E | (3.0)
~~Image ID# 1221635's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~


*Gavel*

OFFICIAL JUDGE'S REVIEW


Hello Espero

Thank you for taking the time to enter the March 2023 round of the "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Enclosed please find the following review, for your consideration.


Positives

I like this take on the prompt and thought you did a good job with the narrative. The characters were compelling throughout.


Suggestions

The dialogue read as a bit stiff and overly formal. Given how much of this story is driven by conversation, it affected the pace of the read and the realism of the characters to have the dialogue overly formalized.


Overall

As a whole, I enjoyed this entry and thought you did a good job with it. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
123
123
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!


*Gavel*

OFFICIAL JUDGE'S REVIEW


Hello Damon Nomad

Thank you for taking the time to enter the March 2023 round of the "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Enclosed please find the following review, for your consideration.


Positives

I really enjoyed this take on the prompt. Sutton was well developed and interesting, and the chemistry/alchemy background was interesting.


Suggestions

There were a number of points where the story switched character point of view quickly and it was a bit jarring. I also found the ending with the momentary tension of a police officer showing up got too easily diffused by him suddenly asking for a glass of brandy. I would have really liked to have seen that tension play out in a bit more satisfying of a way.


Overall

While there is some room for improvement, this was a really enjoyable standout take on the prompt. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
124
124
Review of Burning issue  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!


*Gavel*

OFFICIAL JUDGE'S REVIEW


Hello Sumojo

Thank you for taking the time to enter the March 2023 round of the "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Enclosed please find the following review, for your consideration.


Positives

I really enjoyed the detailed description in this story. The narrative was engaging and I particularly liked the ending which wrapped things up nicely.


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

I thought this was a solid entry that was a fun read and a good take on the prompt.


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
125
125
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!


*Gavel*

OFFICIAL JUDGE'S REVIEW


Hello super sleuth

Thank you for taking the time to enter the March 2023 round of the "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Enclosed please find the following review, for your consideration.


Positives

Great use of detail and description. In comparatively few words, you were able to paint a vibrant, clear picture of the setting and action in the story. I was also intrigued by the world you created with both vampires and wizards, seeming to be in competition for one another in some way. The story definitely made me want to know more about this world!


Suggestions

I'm a little unclear on the details of the story. Devin is imprisoned in a location and it's mentioned that "a wooden bucket, emptied daily allowed him his only relief," but then moments later the story says he had no one that could answer his questions. He also seems to have been imprisoned with a magical book?

The circumstances at the end of the story were a bit murky too. It seems that Devin died one day after reading his own obituary in the newspaper, which then caught on fire and burned his hands. The story infers that he woke up a vampire, and once he touches the book, his hand was suddenly missing again (although he had previously used it to make scratches in the tabletop to signify the passing days.


Overall

Overall, I think the story was paced nicely and has a lot of potential with the worldbuilding and the particular response to the prompt. There are quite a few open questions about the execution of the story, though. It feels like a solid first draft in need of some revising... but definitely a first draft with a lot of potential.


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk | "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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