Hi all,
Since I hadn’t checked my email after lunch yesterday, I didn’t know who might or might not be at the meeting.
Sorry for your family loss, Laura, and I hope your mother heals quickly. My wife was dancing 2 months after hip replacement surgery, but I understand knees are a bit more difficult.
The meeting was quite successful. I arrived at 6:20 and chased a couple of kids doing homework off the table. They moved a couple of tables away and just sat glaring at me for an hour and a half.
No one else had arrived by 6:45, so I started the meeting by reading my own piece. I was very impressed. It is a continuing scene from “SKYWATCH,” my semi-memoir of Oregon (circa 1959) I started last month.
I got in a solid hour of editing the first two scenes (attached) and filled three pages of notes for the third scene.
At 7:45 I bought a round of Tall Lattés for the table (1), promised I’d be there April 26th for our next meeting, and left a bit early.
Clint

P.S. Critiques solicited.

ID: 1859082   (Rated: 18+) SkyWatch  Character development for a short YA story. by Clint

We met at the old Boarders store (now BAM) in Concord, NH.
Three of us met.
Lee gave us another chapter from his tunnel story. Very intimate with the economic hard times resulting from a bank run in the 1860s.
Mary gave us another (reworked) piece from her YA story. We felt the supernatural mirror was a bit in-congruent with the function she was trying to do. Lee proposed she use security monitors for the display. I suggested time sluing is easier to do with TV records. She may redo.
I presented "Public Or Private," Chapter 10, scene 13, p933-946 and a new piece "Skywatch" I'm doing for character development.
I have since reworked their suggestions for scene 13 into "Litigation and Feelings" to slow down the pace a little.

ID: 1855988   (Rated: 18+) Litigation and Feelings  Scene 13: The realities of Litigation and feelings. by Clint

We met at the old Boarders store (now BAM) in Concord, NH.
Lee presented a scene where his MMC is laid off at the tunnel when the bank panic of 1860 hit. Good descriptions of the economic chain reaction and the immediate impact on average people. No public safety-net. That's just the way it was. Of course most of the country was agricultural and rural. The cities were effected the most.
Mary presented two scenes she was having trouble with. The dialog was good (and rather adult). She had several specific questions, written, which we answered. I'd rather she asked them after we read her work because it caused us to be looking for them and listening to the story less.
I presented scene [12] 'How Bad It Was' and they made several edits for me. Mary wants me to expand my pending mistrust of the legal system. Also, how Ferne heard the report. "Make it more descriptive."

ID: 1849756   (Rated: 18+) How Bad it Was  Scene 12, We find out what the rapist did. by Clint

We met at the old Boarders store (now BAM) in Concord, NH. Attending were Brad, Monica, Mary and me.
Monica didn't present.
Brad presented another scene from his SiFi magical powers fiction. He is playing with the physical compatibility problems. Like "How do you walk through walls but don't fall through floors?" I'd suggest the 'real' story is imaginary implants rather than actual teleporting. But, there I go again, trying to make stories fit with physics.
Mary gave us some more of her YA sentient buildings story. She was trying to show kids involved in teacher/administrator confrontations. I like the way Schultz portrayed parents in 'Peanuts.' Just a blasting horn sound. But, Mary's kids are a bit older and can follow adult conversations... why may be a mystery but what they say is understood.
I presented only a portion of 'Assault' Chapter Ten, Scene 11, 'Three Docs and a Marker.' Again, I need to step back a little farther. I include too much. 'I' think the detail is necessary but the reader won't. They suggest I summarize each paragraph (in a five word sentence) and retell it just as an observer.
We will meet again 2012/02/11.
 

We met at the BAM store in Concord, NH.
Attending: Monica, Brad, Mary, Lee and Clint.
Monica didn't present. Brad presented an installment of his magical fiction. He tried to tackle the problems of ghost travel in four dimensions. When can you become solid and what are the consequences if you become solid in the middle of a wall? Interesting.
Mary switched back to one of her YA stories with characters a little out of whack.
Lee gave us more tunnel drilling problems and a bit more of the history of the times.
I presented "Assault" Chapter Ten, Scene 10, "Delaware Circus," WDC

ID: 1833049   (Rated: 18+) Delaware Circus  Scene 10, Complications with negotiations. by Clint

Sunday afternoon writing group at B&N Manchester.
Brad and I were the only attendees.
I read "The Event" and "Last Transmission" as the end of my NaNoWriMo novel. He saw the story as contiguous and didn't notice the long time lapses (as intended). Also, the inevitability of the crew's fate and their acceptance of it wasn't foreign because there are many stories with that kind of sacrifice (war stories, medical, etc).
Brad read the first chapter from his YA novel he is editing now. Good use of suspense and description. He ends with a cliff hanger.
We will meet a week earlier next month. The 4th Sunday is Christmas so we will meet the 18th.

 

We met in the café at the old Boarders store (now BAM) in Concord, NH. The old Boarders manager (Cynthia) is now the manager at the new BAM store. She gave out great BAM book-bags.
Attending: Lee, Brad, Mary and me. Monica wanted to come but had a conflict.
Lee gave us more of his “Through the Mountain” story. His MMC is getting serious about the MFC and Lee is writing the romance in the style they did in 1860... interesting.
Brad gave us a Sci-Fy intro with godlike characters and magical happenings.
Mary continued her incest trial with strange courtroom antics and dialogue.
I presented “Assault” chapter ten scene [9], “You've Got To Be Kidding.” I’ve got to ditch the time-tags. They are too distracting. Also, the amount of dialogue wasn’t too realistic. Lee suggested I just summarize big portions and only put in dialogue to break up the heavy background info. “Remember, a story is about what people do. An essay is used to distribute information.”

ID: 1825600   (Rated: 18+) You've Got to be Kidding  Scene [9] State wants money back, do we have to do their job too? Moret a threat again? by Clint

Write-In at B&N, Manchester. Eleven were there for the first hour... then seven.
Four simultaneous conversations filled the air. Two serious, a third dominated by a non-writer and a fourth about the latest sit-coms on TV.
Boys poke each other as mere grammatical gestures, steal pencils and paper to tease the girls and seem more interested in cookies (the food) than verbs.
Girls giggle for every reason.
Adults put-up-with the kids just to avoid baby-sitting expenses.
The sounds from the canteen fill the dead spots in conversation.
"Mom" is way behind in word count. Daughter is writing NaNoWriMo to get credit for an English class.
Every conversation requires an in-depth familiarity with movies, TV and Harry Potter. The big problem with that is much of a movie experience depends on the director. And that is not normally written into the script. In fact it is frowned upon... directing from the page.

I worked on "Cosmic Progeny" amid all the noise from the kids doing Fan Fiction.

For the second hour I worked on the ending for "Passing Acquaintance."

ID: 1826130   (Rated: 18+) The Event  The end of a mission. by Clint

4th Sunday writing group at B&N Manchester.
Brad and his 9-year-old son Edward were at the table. Nobody else showed up.
We talked about YA and content for YA readers.
Brad read his short story adventure piece beginning about an artifact that has magic powers. It is like a hard-boiled detective "Maltese Falcon" story aimed at kids like his son. Edward liked it.
I presented Ol'Sanduleak as the prologue for "Cosmic Progeny." They both liked it. We talked about SF and how far you can go with science before it becomes fantasy.

ID: 1821020   (Rated: 18+) SN1987A  The collapse and supernovae of Sanduleak. by Clint

We met at the Londonderry, NH library.
We arrived 10 minutes early and were let in with an employee at 09:55.
The room had a table, six chairs and a closable door.
Attending: Mary, Monica, Brad, Lee and me.
Lee gave us more of his tunnel story. He had a lot of history in his piece... the Dred Scott Decision of 1857, the Filibusters of Venezuela, slave catchers and anti-slavery arguments. He showed the technical problems of rock miners in the 1850s.
Mary continued her YA piece about incest, courtroom scenes and customs of the court.
Brad didn’t present but his critiques were appreciated.
Monica gave us a pick-pocket scene at an airport from her hard-boiled detective introduction.
I presented Assault, Chapter Ten, Scene [8], Hard Options. Was received better than my last piece. I don’t need so much about Harr and I should get rid of the timestamps.
Lee will check with Books-A-Million in Concord to see if we can meet there again.

ID: 1821533   (Rated: 18+) Hard Options  Scene [8] Planning to win, but if we lose, reasons to write the book. by Clint