Hi yellow- I guess this not really a review of the visual of your chosen handle as it is my observastion. The yellow rose is beautiful. It's most common symbolism today is its accociation with joy and friendship- hints of the older symbolism, jealousy and fading love, brought here from Europe, still remain attached in the right context- if you are from Texas the song "The Yellow Rose of Texas" brings to mind both historical and legendary accounts of the Texas War of Independence.
The title of the your rose is "Love if forever" , I cannot help but wonder why you chose Yellow Rose as a handle- you do not have a bio posted so we really no nothing about you to make a connection to the flower- BUT- the picture is not crisp- the rose is faded in contract to the picture's title, I find myself wondering if this is intentional, and if so, I ponder the meaning because there could be many or perhaps you simply luike yellow roses. A writer cloaked in mystery- nice job.
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"GIVE HER BACK TO ME!" is contained by its four five-lines stanzas; the last line of each is a refrain. The rhyme scheme throughout is aabbc. The poem is about a daughter that gets attacked by her car and almost meets her end but for a passerby. The poem has great flow and the rhyme is unforced as line transition is great. There are no errors- good job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"A WRITER'S IMAGINATION" is a structured free verse contained by its three tercets in which each opens with "A writer’s imagination ...". The poem is about writing creativity and connects the mind to pen and paper. The piece has great flow and some good imagery, "The words spew forth to be jotted upon paper" creates a visual flow from the mind through the pen and onto the sheet. The are no errors - good job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"I'M ONLY A BIRD" is this poems centerpiece used a refrain to end the last line and close each of the poem's four quatrains. The story told is seen through the eyes of an eagle; but of course eagles do not write poetry, they inspire it, so the thoughts are the authors. The eagle in the poem's body is called a bird but knowing the bird is an eagle adds a spiritual undertone to the words. OK - the hard part- I think out loud as I type. The poem is usual, here is why: The rhyme is the first three quatrains is abcc- no rhyme in the last. There are some lines that are 50% longer than others in the same quatrains. These two things add a certain amount of review risk but the risk is being taken by an experienced poet; my job is to find the reasons. The first two lines of the first stanza are long- long lines play more to emotion than action. The eagle is silent but soars- the long lines paint a picture of bird gliding and observing- we are lifted into the current of soft tones by the smooth flow of the flight. The next two lines are much shorter and bring the action of the cries below alive but does so with the same smooth flow of the flight- the shorter lines add an urgency. The second quatrain speeds things up with short lines as the bird runs quickly through the thoughts and feeling of what is observed below and cannot be voiced. The poems longest line opens the third quatrain- it serves as reminder that we are in flight- we are still soaring and looking. The shorter lines contain some of the birds frustrations as we continue to think as we glide. The unrhymed last quatrain contains the poem's epiphany- the lack of rhyme is a device just as the long lines are. This is where the message resides- I am the same as you created by God, but I am different than you and glad for it. The lack of rhyme is metaphor for this difference. The flow, long lines and all is excellent- the piece has a wonderful tone throughout. The rhyme is great- even when not there!! The refrain, "I’m only a bird" reinforces the tone leading into each quatrain and helps us to stay in flight. The entire four quatrains contain a single period- (more risk)- it comes here: "Created by God to wander this Earth." A very appropriate place for the poem's period. Except for some commas all end-stops are open- the flight goes on - what the bird sees will continue to go on until God places the period. There are no errors- Great Poem!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"A FREE SPIRIT" is an acrostic from. The beginning letters for the first two stanzas when read down spell Free Spirit. The poem offers a brief self-description of the authors personality. The acrostic is executed perfectly. The piece has excellent flow through its short lines. Well chosen end stop words reveal the poem's nature without reading the preceding words adding extra punch to the lines; the Open end-stops add to the FREE SPIRIT theme. There are no errors. Great Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"IT LURKS" is contained by its two quatrains. The poem has a rhyme scheme of abab. The piece is of the Horror/Scary genre but for me, I find a spiritual undertone. The lines are nice and tight and with good word selection give the poem great flow. The rhyme works well: I like lurks with smirks and unsheathed with beast the best but all the end words are well chosen to give each line of thought some extra impact. For example: smirks to me implies more than a natural impulse from the beast- it implies thought with premeditated intent. I do not see any errors- Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Life Goes On" is a free verse contained by its two quatrains and a sandwiched tercet. The poem is about, "The reflection upon the death of the family breadwinner." The first stanza introduces the cause of the loss, the second stanza deals with the feeling involved and the third stanza is the realization on life changing impact. The piece is good flow through its sad lines of loss. The last line has an open end-stop that holds the reader in thought- some will call this errors- it worked for me. No errors- Good Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Stuffed Cow" is contained by its five stanzas of free verse. The poem is about, "This is a tribute to my stuffed cow, Bob, and to children that never die." The poem has good flow through childhood memories of Bob, the stuffed cow. The essence of the poem is that pieces of our childhood will always stay with us. Bob is an excellent way to make that point. Mine was an elephant named Fluffy! There are no errors- Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"As the Storm Passes" is contained by its single stanza with open end-stops. The piece is listed as prose but the end-stops and layout make it poetry- it is a free verse poem. It opens in a setting on a hill with a storm approaching so we are given a visual location and hear the roar of the storm- excellent opening! The event takes the author and reader to a time when man was one with nature using images of hunters. In a turn the storm becomes the hunter and the author its prey. The hunt is not to cause harm- it is to make the author one with herself through nature. There are no errors - Great Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"The Circle" is a script for a comedy play about, "An absurdist play in which two guys find themselves in a hole—literally." The play opens with the men in the pit and in conversation. I see some spelling errors:
Nevermind - Never mind
Descarte - Descartes’
Til - 'Til
figeting - fidgeting
aetheists - atheists
Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Peace Be With You" is a one stanza free verse about, "... leaving the ones you love". The poem is an Absent Love entry with good flow. It is a simple and to the point offering of a wounded heart told in straight forward language. I do not see any errors. Some imagery would boost the piece- Nice job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Not So Eternal Flame" is an Absent Love poem contained by its single free verse stanza. The poem opens with a broken hearted setting of lies. The good flow takes us to some memories of what was good and then turns back to the issue causing the pain. It seems that there is another hand now receiving the missing pink Valentines. I see one tiny errors: What did I to deserve this pain? The word 'do' seems to be missing. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Will You Ever Answer Me?" The piece is contained by its four quatrains and closing sexian. The rhyme in the quatrains is abcbd and in the sexian, abcabc. The rhyme works nicely and the poem has good flow- the quatrains are a prayer and the sexian contains the epiphany. There is an error: in the thirdstanza- your = you're. Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"The Beacon" is a free verse contained its five double spaced quatrains that have a single end rhyme in the second stanza. The piece is about, "This is an inspirational poem about a beacon signifying love." The poem opens with the clay potter image. Stanza two through four contain request of what not to shape out of the clay. The fifth stanza contains the desired result and saves the first stanza from cliche. The poem is a simple prayer, in essence, and like prayer's often do, uses a biblical metaphor in its asking- the potter and clay. Some imagery would boost the piece- I would suggest single space- I do not see any errors- Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"An Ode to a Woman's Chest Pain " is a free verse, contained by its ten quatrains, about, "Women's intuition is felt in more places than you can imagine." The poem has good flow through what seems to be realization of a broken or loss dream, perhaps Absent Love based on the ending's epiphany of cure. The poem does not creat imagery but rather lists things that the pain is like and medical help would not solve the problem. The poet suggests trying to escape it tongue in cheek-knowing that there's no escape from the feelings of love. I do not see any errors. Image would boost the write. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"A Band of Brothers" is a contained by its five quatrains of aabb rhyme. The poem is about the feeling associated with, "Walking out to the crowd, before the game". The piece has good flow with tight lines and the rhyme is good although not perfect- what game is is metaphor. All end-stops are open but transition is natural- there is no confusion caused by lack of punctuation. The event is not stated so we are left without that image- there are sixty players, so I am not sure what the game is. The images we are given have to do with feeling of what it is like to take the field- I assume a field but can't tell if in or outdoors. There are no errors- my only suggestion would be to develop an image to bring readers into the event, so they can relate. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"My Grandfather's Funeral" is a poem contained by its two stanzas. The poem opens in a setting of a shelter dug by grandfather in a hillside behind a trailer in Mississippi, two children play there in the damp and dark with good images of their activities and results. The second stanza brings us to grandfather's wake and funeral. The unspoken images from above linger with contrast. I am not sure of the whys of the ending but in epiphany, I see parental attempt at protection not being able to shield us from life as much as it try. The poem has great flow in this error free telling. Great job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"The battle of cannea" is a poem contained by it single stanza in abcb rhyme. The piece is about, "the events of the battle of cannea between rome and hannibal." The poems nice flow and rhyme through "The Battle of Cannea". The piece open with soldiers and invaders on the march and ominous crows overhead. The story is told with nice detail and in the last three lines the crows return with reason. There are no errors in the body of the poem. The title has errors in two place: The battle of cannea and The battle of Cannea should be The Battle of Cannea. The poem description has three proper nouns in lowercase - cannea, rome and hannibal should all be uppercase- discriptions do not count in my review rate- titles do. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Sales Assistant in a Foreign Land" is a free verse contained by its 10 stanzas four of which are single line refrains. The poem open with a workday of folding and stocking in what seems to be a store. The poem has good flow through all the chores. I don't see any errors- UK spelling is used and there is a term that I don't know and can't find on the Internt- cash-coeur so don't count it an error. Suggestions:
Free verse poetry is keyed on good end-stops- generally common everyday words do not make good end stops in free verse. This piece would be boosted by imagery of setting and the things being folded and stocked punched with good end stop words. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Letter to My Husband" is a free verse contained by its one single stanza. The title explains the poem intent. The poem opens in a cold outdoor setting - the image is late fall- the cold has turned green grass brown. This is a key image to remember as reading deeper into this poem- it is put here for a reason and not to take up space. The scene goes indoors where I see an image touched by a little chaos- holey socks, folding underwear and walls of shirts paint the image of piles of clothing and tasks at hand. There is a turn away from the image of piles to organization- the absent spouse is an organized and neat person- his life made that way by the spouse that is giving him that luxury. The last lines of the poem contain the epiphany and reveal the poem as an Absent love piece. The first two lines of the poem are metaphor for the feelings of the woman doing the work and packing. The poem has good flow and end-stops which if read alone give a sense of the poem. There are no errors- Good Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Blood Test" is a one stanza free verse about, "becoming a mother". The poem is in a hospital setting- it is the delivery of the child. There is an image of pain that is not felt- it is masked by greater pain. The word Baby brings the child into a sterile setting that we see displayed in metaphor by the slightness in imagery. The poem has a nice turn- a flashback to the new mother's own mother. This flashback leads seamlessly to the poems epiphany- which is combined realization and determination. The piece has great flow and there are no errors. Good Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"First Days' is a free verse contained by its single stanza. The poem explores, "the result of postpartum depression." The poem opens in a setting of a mother standing over a crib looking at her child. There is an image of soft motherly exchange-soft words to soothe a screaming baby. There is an image of tiny sharp fingers as the baby scratches its face leaving the marks. The images are stark- the reason comes midway into the poem, "There has been a death" is the line that introduces the depression into the poem's stark setting. Th poem's epiphany comes from an actual event that is a metaphor for the feeling of postpartum depression that feels like a death and is causing detachment. The poem has great flow and tells the story in a haunting manner. There are no errors- Great Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
~ His Pet ~ Chapter Two, opens with a battered man on a concrete floor tied with zip strip restraints. He is trying to get free but suddenly hears somebody approaching. Good tension building with good imagery in the scene where the door opens!! The story line takes another turn with this visitor to the bound man. The last paragraphs does a good job of setting up the next chapter. I do not see any errors - Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
~ His Pet ~ Chapter One, opens introducing Detective Bryce Callahan investigating the strangulation of a rape victim. Detective Gina Pancamo and the Medical Examiner are also introduced into the story and are discussing findings. Detective Gina Pancamo and Detective Bryce Callahan are partners. There has been a series of murders and the M.E. confirms that is the same man to invite readers to next chapter. I do not see any eroors - Good Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Ink Blot Hall of Fame"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jimmyfin
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.40 seconds at 12:28am on Apr 27, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
