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 |  My purging and some other crap - can be funny, most times without trying :-) |
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♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ Just to take the crap out of me and put it somewhere else for safekeeping. Gets heavy carrying it around. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** It's me, Summertime 2010. I'm pretty damn happy these days. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And yes.. this is my daughter, Devann Dev   . I am the luckiest Mom in the world. Can't get a new pic ... oh maybe I'll creep FB and steal one from there! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And our little slice of paradise. I still after 'four' years here can't believe how lucky I am. Come on over .. the door's always open ( heehee ) Thanks for stopping by. Cheers Check yourself, or I mean, it out
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| heehee.. good news to share. My stepmonster found a new magazine, so she saved it to give to me. She (although drives me cuckoo) is always on the look out to find me work. Probably to get me off her payroll  but still.. it's all good.So today I looked through the magazine and tried the website and it didn't work. So I braved it and just called the number. So my new best friend Bonnie is a hoot. When I said, I was a freelance writer and editor she said, "OHHHH we LOVE YOU FOLKS!" Okay I felt good already. Then she proceeded to ask my advice on how to finish an email she was sending someone whose work she didn't like. Well the rat in me came through, and I blurted out something profound... and she was thrilled and thanked me for helping her! It was hilarious! So long story short - she is happy that I live in Duncan and wants me to be the rep for that area. This magazine is trying to focus on the tourism for mid island and they had no one from where I live - so she was very happy about that. I have two writing assignments already - one due March 5, and the next one April 5. She will also give me editing assignments when she needs. And they are looking at giving all the writers a 300% raise in the next 3 or 4 months... oh yah! We're meeting in two weeks as she is in production right now. She seems like a delight, but very hard nosed and has very high expectations. This will be a challenge to write for her - but I am game! So yup... I'm pretty damn perky right now I'll tell yah. Okay off to pretend to be working for oh yah... that other real job I have. Have a great weekend all.!! cheers bugzy oh and... btw my other main magazine I write for wants me to be the media rep for the BC Olympics --- my first instinct was .. bleckkkkkkkk but if it means a free stay in Whistler again... I guess I can lower my standards  |
| Today was Chinese New Years. And it’s the year of the Rat.. of which I am one. So this year is going to be a good year from me. Maybe it starts from today. So technically I can erase the last month and start again. So here are some… points about MOI! Oh yup… I am a pretty smart, and bossy rat all right!!.. So … here we go….I bolded the good parts !! The Rat Being born a Rat is nothing to be ashamed of. In China, the Rat is respected and considered a courageous, enterprising person. It is deemed an honor to be born in the Year of the Rat and it is considered a privilege to be associated with a Rat. Rats know exactly where to find solutions and can take care of themselves and others without problems. They use their instinctive sense of observation to help others in times of need and are among the most fit of all the Animal signs to survive most any situation. The Sign of the Rat Being born under this sign determines many talents, as well as other characteristics that may not be so commendable. Rats are very lively and need a lot of mental and physical stimulation. They can be calm and perceptive, but sometimes their brains can cause a mental restlessness, tempting them to take on too much, only to discover they are unable to meet their commitments. Rats are blessed with one of the best intellects going. Add to their intelligence a curiosity and a bright imagination, and they seem as sharp as a needle. The sign of the Rat is the first sign in the cycle giving Rat people exude great leadership qualities and are good at taking the lead. can someone tell my boss They don't mind a lot of responsibility and they demonstrate a strong presence that other people respect. For those with the Rat nature, status and monetary satisfaction are the greatest motivation.CHARACTERISTICS Smart, Magnetic, Well-liked, Affable, Quick-witted, Surreptitious, Selfish, Protective, Calculating THE METAL RAT 1900 AND 1960 Of all the Rats, these are the toughest and most resolute. They are visionary and possess an emotional intensity that can lead to feelings of rage, envy, or possessiveness. They like to be in charge, and can act selfishly to get what they want. In relationships, business or personal, they can be obstinate. Metal rats have to bear in mind that meeting their partner halfway would help their relationships tremendously. They take great pride in their homes and enjoy decorating them in their impressively good taste.RAT HEALTH The affect of the sign of the Rat is energetic, and demonstrates enough endurance to fight most any sickness. Yet, all Rats tend to be tense, full of nervous energy, petulant and prone to stress. Rats also harbor a bit of aggression; yet, they are usually able to control it. Yoga would benefit Rats by calming their aggressive natures and helping them manage stress.AT HOME WITH THE RAT Rats make good homemakers who are always willing to do household chores. Rats are not usually interested in keeping up with the times, and it doesn't matter to them whether or not their furnishings are in style. What does matter is that their home is a refuge expressing warmth, comfort and vogue. Light blue is their color of choice for home decor. Because this is a sign of acquisition, the Rat person's house is presumably bursting with various knick-knacks collected over the years. Most Rats are cheerful, domesticated individuals who find happiness at home with their family.THE RAT ON THE JOB The Chinese say others should always listen to the advice of the Rat.  Because of their intellect and observatory powers, Rat people possess prudence and perception. They can anticipate problems, and are always able to see the big picture. They can hone in on issues at hand and make measurable judgments. These skills, combined with their sense of aspiration also make them clever operators. Status, money, title, and recognition are important to the Rat. They have keen senses of observation that allow them to foresee upcoming business opportunities as well as potential occupational problems. The Rat makes a better boss than an employee and, although motivated, they can be pinned down by routines. Rats work better in flexible situations where they can be freely creative.RATS MAKE EXCELLENT: Writers, Broadcasters, Actors, Advisors, Counselors, Lawyers, Politicians, Designers, Engineers, Managers, Directors, Administrators, Entrepreneurs, Musicians, Stand-up Comedians, Researchers, Historians, Race Car DriversRATS DISLIKE:: Doing without things they want, strict time keeping, any routines, see DebiW being at the end of the lineTHE RAT VACATION Travel delights the Rat personality and ignites his curiosity. Sunbathing is not the ideal way for a Rat to spend his vacation. they got this wrong Rats are adventurers. They want to explore, examine, visit and party during their time off. They want to try new foods, find new sights and experience the culture of the area they are visiting. And, of course, if they can come home with an exotic souvenir to add to their collection their vacation will have been an instant success. FRIENDS AND ENEMIES Generally friendly and sociable, the Rat is one of the extroverts of the Animal Zodiac. Often, the Rat is lively and genial, and has a special gift for easing the minds of others. It is not surprising that Rats have a lot of friends. They are great speakers and intriguing conversationalists, and can generally find something to say on just about any topic or subject.Of course, there is always that renowned Rat lure that allows them to charm the pants off of people!  To the people they love, Rats can be amazingly charitable, popular and supportive, and will go out of their way to be certain their loved ones are content. On the other hand, if the Rat does not like someone, he is considered fair game and can be used to achieve any and all of the Rat's desires. At the end of the day, though, the Rat is a loyal friend and will be there for his companions through thick and thin.LOVERS AND PARTNERS Rats are beautiful people with magnetic personalities. The Rat himself can't help but notice the admiration he receives from others. If the Chinese say there are few poor Rats, there are an even fewer number who are not sexually stimulating- especially as young people. Rat people are romantic, and are always happier to have someone to share with.RAT ENRAPTURE One of the Rat's greatest assets is his charm. Rats can melt hearts with their smiles. Add that to their coquettish personalities and you can easily see how they conquer the hearts of others. And, since Rats love to go out, they have plenty of chances to meet potential suitors or future partners. An annoying quirk of some Rats is they have a difficult time severing ties with former lovers. Obviously, this can pose potential conflicts for the Rat and his new lover and can even endanger his ability to develop new relationships. When the Rat finally settles down with Mr. or Ms. Right, he will find a sincere satisfaction in the intimacy of the partnership. A RAT'S PARTNER Although Rats like to be in the driver's seat, they do need partners who can keep up with their active lifestyles. Chinese horoscopes are very specific about which partnerships have the potential to be successful in love and in business. Yet, though destiny can point us in the right direction, we must still make efforts to maintain loving relationships. LIBRAN RAT Doubly affable, Libran Rats are smooth operators. These people are elegant and cultured. They are drawn to artistic pleasures such as music and theater. Pleasant to be around, Libran Rats excel in advertising and PR.Well I sound fun don’t I? Heehee.. Hope you all had a good new year Cheers bugz ps.. borrowed the good parts from here http://www.usbridalguide.com/special/chinesehoroscopes/Rat.htm |
| So here it is folks.... If you put dinner in the oven and say it is approximately .... let's say 800 calories - so probably for two people. AND you totally forget about it and it's supposed to cook for 40 minutes but you leave it for like two hours. AND so it gets pretty ummm... crispy and dried out and a LOT smaller than when you put it in the oven originally. So the big question is..... is it still worth 800 calories - or is it in fact only 400 since it is only half the size - so if you end up eating the whole thing anyway (cause you're famished) is it still less fattening? There you go.. let me know what you think. And then.... to top it all off, when you are still kinda hungry cause whether it was 400 or 800 calories it was still small and crunchy and your FRIEND.... or so called FRIEND who I wont SAY who it is because only FRIENDS would NOT send you pictures of gooey, chocolately delish brownie looking stuff like THIS to other FRIENDS who CANNOT bake.. not like SOME like Special Kay who obviously CAN bake....sends you PICS like THIS** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** just puts an end to my CRAPPY day at work which I WILL NOT talk about cause it makes me pissy again thinking about it. So going to BED cause I am NOT working on Darla's book revision OR the sequel... The Daring Adventures of Darla , because WHY you ask.... oh gosh because my illustrator is in HAWAII!!!!! ..... { e:jealous } !! going to sleep now zz bugzy |
| We have success!! Wowza... what a night and day. I stayed up until 5:30am this morning trying to get this damn book onto Lulu. And I finally had to quit. Got back at it today and spent I don't even know how long. I had to resize and reload and reformat like a zillion times.!!! I finally had success around midnight, but I couldn't get it to let me buy an actual book .... that took another 20 minutes to figure out that the size I had chosen (7.5 X 7.5) was not a printable size... sigh.. so had to completely redo AGAIN - but man I am fast now on the fourth round - so did it all in under an hour this time... oh yah!!! So heehee.... it's up there. Here is the picture I used on the cover..it doesn't have the title etc, because I am too tired to put that back into the picture. And there should be a way to just put the actual book picture into here, but I am too tired to figure that out either. So here is the picture anyway ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** and here is the link to go have a peak http://www.lulu.com/browse/search.php?fAdvSearch%5Bauthor%5D=&fAdvSearch%5Btitle... ok.. well damn it doesn't work.. grrr.. it should have taken you right to the book but you have to enter the title still - Darla's in the drink PLEASE DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!! I know, I know that is not the best way to market but telling people NOT to buy, but really - it still needs work. I suck at lining up the text and pics and making it look all perfect and a couple of the illustrations are not quite right, so I need the illustrator to have a go at fixing them up. so when it is all purdy and perfect THEN buy away.. I'll let you know, trust me! So as you can imagine, that was wayyyy too much for my NON-techy brain!! I am pooched big time. Thanks to a few folks who put up with my whining and questions today, especially Mr Improvement who TRIED to help me, but should have known I am a lost cause - and Ms LenaPrincess too - she's a doll. So phewf under the wire - wanted it up by the 10th and oh looky 4 days to spare.. oh yah. Ok.. off to catch a few zzz before having to go into the office tomorrow. Gosh wonder what PJ girl has been up to. She had ONE thing to do for the project and it hasn't been done. Tomorrow I am taking it back ... so there.  It's holding me up and so I'll just do it myself..grrrnite nite bugzy |
| Dunno, something weird is going on. I got so much work done today, I am freaking myself out. The list: 1 - had to retouch the photos of the curling gals, so did and resubmitted to my editor 2 - did some more revisions on curling piece - sent off. 3 - did some revisions to motorcycle article - sent off. 4 - wrote a media release for my real job - sent off 5 - did a revision on an article for my real job - sent off 6 - felt bad for a gal I started writing articles for over a year ago - she doesn't pay, but I started out just for the experience and this month I have been so busy I said I couldn't write for her. She said fine, but only got 4 other submissions for this month from the group and I felt bad. So I revised an article I wrote last year and never sent anywhere - and sent it to her 7 - wrote her another article for my regular column in record time. 500 words that actually made sense if I say so myself in about 15 minutes!! That's fast even for me!! 8 - did a few more piddly things for my real job ... sent emails, made some calls, revised the project timeline blahblahblah 9 - phewf... then I had a nap!! 10 - and now tonight... I am .. sigh.. trying at last to put together my little Darla poetry book I have been working on since last April. After a few rejections, I am tired of them and going to put it up on Lulu.com. I have an ulterior motive to get it published asap. I am applying for a VERY cool job - before the 10th of Feb, and you have to be a published author - I have lots of stuff published, and a poem and two stories, but I think they may mean an actual book, book. And my 10 rejections for my novel probably don't count....so... procrastination has bit me in the butt on this one, since I was seriously working on it in the summer, then again last December and now.. I am panicking and anyone who knows me, knows .... this is NOT my forte. Trying to set up the text and the illustrations and to fill in all the crappy do on the site.... bleckkkkk!! But I must persevere... so if you don't hear from me anytime soon, you know I got swallowed up by the evil Lulu people and I am currently being chewed up and probably spat out somewhere. Hopefully, there will still be a little book published when that's all said and done. Wish me luck bugzy |
| Man o man I was a busy gal this weekend. Here's a list... * wrote up my article on the curling ladies from the interview from Thursday * sorted through the 175 curling pics and sent 6 good ones to my editor * interviewed two more motorcycle dudes for an article * wrote the motorcycle article * did a complete edit on a 176 page ESL textbook (zzzzz) * wrote another 500 word article for my day job (ok I should have done that Thursday) * did a rewrite on an article originally on Eco-Babies that my editor decided to change to Ec-Kids (grrrrrr) Yup and slept lots and went for a great hike to a beach today with Dev and Darla. Ate yummmy food and yakked alot and finally sort of caught on mail from here and read blogs. Now I am ready for the week to start so I can take it easy Here are a few pics from today.... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This little ferry runs from just south of my house to over to the peninsula. It takes 25 minutes and holds about 30 cars. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Dev showing off her new Taco Tshirt ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Seagulls taking flight!... very cool to watch... there were hundreds of them. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Darla off leash for the first time ever... BIG mistake... it took us 30 minutes to catch her. It was a great way to tire her out though.. she slept through dinner and didn't even mooch!! Have a great week all. I'll probably be cuckoo as usual. I have a HUGE project coming up... I'll tell you later! cheerios bugz |
| So I picked up Dev from e-class today (her one day a week of pretend school - which is really just a time to hang with friends, take pictures, make hilarious videos of her pet Mammoth and generally goof around)... anyway she was going to the mall with a few of her chums to watch a movie. They were wandering around looking for a wayward friend, when one of the other moms came up to my truck to chat. She is a bit ... rough around the edges, but she is ok. She is nice to Dev when she goes over to their house, so I am usually fine with her. But today... she kinda pissed me off. She was all pissy first of all because the movie plans changed a bit, they decided to go to an earlier show and one boy was awol and blahblahblah but no biggie. She got huffy and started to say she was not going to let her daughter Susan go along. So I smoothed things over and then it seemed ok. She then went on how she doesn't trust them and makes them show her their movie ticket stubs after the show. I guess to 'prove' that they indeed went to a movie. I had sort of heard that earlier from Dev and thought it was a bit odd, but really didn't give it any more thought. But then when the mom said it again.... it really started to bug me. Then she went on and on, about how she was such a bad teenager and she knew her daughter had the same bad thoughts that she had when she was younger and that she knew that Devann had those bad thoughts too Ok.. now I am getting my shit in a knot. Then she said the only reason she thought the two girls were not into too much trouble yet, was not because they didn't think about it all the time, but that they were too chicken yet to do anything about it. So I just sort of said, yah I guess, we are lucky then that they are chicken. And then thankfully the girls came back and so we could leave. Dev is a little smartie pants and as soon as she got in the car she wanted to know what we were talking about for so long. So I just made up some stuff about whatever and the awol boy - which we did talk about. But I didn't want to say too much in front of Susan. And so I left it at that. But later I couldn't stop thinking about it and was anxious to pick her up and chat about it more. So after the movies, we dropped Susan at her house and drove home. So I told her what Susan's mom and I had talked about. I told her that I really felt it was important for her to know how much I trusted her. We talked about trust for the whole rest of the way home (an hour). It was a very good conversation, We talked about what makes kids lie to their parents. She said she was upset that one day Susan had confided in her that it was very easy for her to lie to her parents. I told her for me - trust is the most important thing of all. If you set the stage for trust between each other then somehow that makes you feel more inspired to do the right thing - to do what you know the other person would want you to do and to make them feel good. We talked about Michael and how he was so distrusting of everyone, including us. We talked about how that made us feel to live under all the suspicion all the time. We agreed it made us feel more inclined to be bad... (I kept saying badder and Dev kept saying, "That is not a word mummy!") We talked about living in a place where there is alot of trust as opposed to one without. We have lived together in both. I said that having faith and trust in people in the beginning just sets a nice environment. If you start off mistrusting and ask people to prove themselves.. it just doesn't work. There is less inclination to want to try... to want to be truthful. She admitted that she has done things she has not told me about. And I told her that was perfectly okay and I was not surprised. But I said to her, that I wanted her to know how much I trusted her, and admired her good judgment and that she is a smart girl who has made good choices. She has come forward to 'admit' things to me lots of time... and I have always made sure I have not freaked out and I think that is why she trusts me, and can tell me things. Alot of her friends are at that rebelling stage now - she is watching it and she doesn't like it. She was made fun by one of her friends when she said she did all the dishes and vacuumed the other day when I was at work... They said.. why did you do that? Dev said, "Because I knew it would make my mom feel good." And, smartie pants that "I" am.. I took that opportunity to say again how much I appreciated that and it would be really nice if she took the initiative and did more around the house, especially on days that I was at work. And you know what... I bet that tactic works... much better than the couple of times lately when I have gotten pissy about the dishes! yah... it was a good talk. I really, really like these days. She was giggling and saying she gets teased for still calling me mommy. But I know she has the confidence now to just say piss off to her friends that bug her about stuff like that. She is really proud of our relationship. She said tonight, that we have been through a lot of rough times together and that our relationship is a lot stronger because of it. She is a hoot - she also said, she is okay that sometimes she feels like she is the mom - when she goes to bed at 8pm cause she has to get up to go to work early and I am still on the phone laughing too loudly at midnight! We had a bit of a spat Friday night and we didnt talk for about 2 hours. Finally you know what.. she was the one who came up to me and wanted to talk it out. Which we did.. and soon we were making popcorn, giggling and watching crap on TV together. I think even that comes down to trust. She trusts me and my reaction. She trusts that even when we scrap, we can work it out, clear the air, not hold hard feelings and move on. I am proud of her ... that is a skill that has taken me my whole life to learn. And again... she is way ahead of the game on that one. I have been bitten in the ass several times when I have trusted someone who has not come through. But when it comes to Devann and I, I am so glad that I have such strong trust and faith in her, and that she knows it. But.. having said that..it's gotten awfully quiet up there the last half an hour or so and there is NO way she's asleep yet... so I better go check in. There is trust... then there is just being stoooopid. Cheers all bugz |
| Got a call from Grifter tonight He sounds as cute as he looks in his pic. He's in Seattle hobknobin with the bigger cheeses and playing all nice with the big boys. Which in english means prob lots of butt kissing and drinking ....no....that's not true. He's a sweetie and it's a shame we couldn't meet.... hopefully he'll be back again soon and we can talk more about that kissing and drinking stuff... I'm an expert you know! ok ... well change of plans.. i have a sudden attack of a major, splitting headache so the rest of this and that... will have to wait... sorry, I can't blog one eyed any more... i'll be back it will be good... and worth waiting for.. trust me. but go read Wren's comment in my blog yesterday... I got promoted and will be rewriting the bible I think that will pay wellok gotta go take some drugs and zzzz xo bugz ps.... grifter got little again... sheesh! |
| So yup... I got lots of gifts today. Not all in tangible, touchable, huggable, prezzies but good stuff all the same ... here are a few ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Can you dig these?? I know, I know, not quite the same sexy pics you're used to of my feet.... but hot damn.....my little purples toes are dancing in these babies I'll tell yah!!!! wahooooodeedooo... I think they'll keep my feet warm up to like a zillion degrees colder than even I keep my house. And sorry Anyea I'm not sharing Oh what else.. oh go ahead ask me.... "How did you take that fabulous pic today, bugzy? Oh gosh, don't tell me... you got your VERY OWN CAMERA?!?!?!" heeheehee... yuppers....so now more hogging dev's (she has hijacked this one several times tonight already  Nope I got my very own.. I am a big girl now Aren't I lucky?? Other gifts I received today:  - the gal in the coffee shop remembering how to make my brew (it's complicated okay cause I hate coffee and I only go there maybe once a week! .. really it's true!!) - not one, but two complete strangers saying good morning on my walk to work today - the gal in the marina office saying - she would NOT even go pee until my parcel was delivered today - having several times during the day today, when I just laughed... I mean really laughed and this one is a killer....I received a very touching and heartwarming gift from Debi Wharton of an awardicon for
I reread that poem tonight... it's been awhile - phewf it needs work - but it gave me another huge gift.It gave me the gift of reminding what is important in life. Under all the crap I have been feeling lately and the stress and anxiety ... I had a chance today to remember ... to remember my sister. To remember the time we shared and the lessons I learned. I can easily get pulled off track... but tonight, I received a true gift. The gift of my own words from a long while ago.... Open your hearts wider, forgive a friend, and make peace, With each other, say a prayer, give thanks or at least, Sing a song, eat a candy, kiss a child but just be, Grateful for words, speak your truth, like my sister taught me. I feel loved today. Really loved. I feel love for others and sometimes, I get cynical and say love isn't enough. But today....I feel it is. For without love, all the rest is just crap. Sending lots of love your way  bugz |
| Today I was reading Special Kay 's bloggy and she asked if you could take a pill to acquire more talent and stuff, with no side affects, what would you take it for. And since I've got nothing else of any interest or in the least bit entertaining.. I am making a pill list for myself ... for somewhat amusement purposes only - not to be taken internally or without doctor's supervision. And if I experience nausea, chest pains, shortness of breath or grow massive amounts of hair out of my nose, I will cease and desist immediately and check myself into the first local hospital I can find.. ok forget that part .. I'll just cease and desist. So here goes... 1 - One pill for "Patience." This was already outlined in Kay's blog earlier, but just in case you missed that titillating comment.. here is a recap..... I wanna pill that could enable me to cause.... the lazy assed UPS delivery dude who was here and was too stooopid to find my house and or ASK any of the MILLION people around here so he @#$ left..... I want to cause him explosive diarrhea for a WEEK... and have NO ill side affects to ME, except getting my DAMN parcel ok thats about it or patience... I obviously need a patience pill 2 - Two pills for "Humour" - I seemed to have lost mine and hence will NOT be writing any stellar article for the Blogville News this month. I am an emotional writer as some are emotional eaters (ok I am that too) but I so gotta be in a good mood to write light hearted stuff. And somehow, somewhere my humour has escaped - so I better take a double dose of that pill... make that two, three times a day until further notice. 3 - Definitely need a "Letting Go Pill." Seems I am becoming severely attached to things like.... heat and groceries and gas for my car and hot showers. So I think perhaps I am just getting to cushy in my old age and need to toughen up a bit and just let go of that need to be all comfy and cozy and have a full belly. I could stand to lose a few pounds that's for sure and I heard you burn more calories when you are colder and hell... I can jog the 15 kilometers to work - that'll get me ship shape in no time! So yup...a couple of extra strength letting go pills - will get me all sorted. 4 - "Work at Decent Hour Pill" - I am a night owl. It's gosh....11pm here now and I have at least two more hours of work to get in before I can get to sleep. I have to listen to 3 more radiocasts to prep for an interview tomorrow and make interview questions. I am totally cool on that - but I will a zombie tomorrow at 7am when I will have to get my sleepy ass out of bed and ready to go to the office. I think I really need to take a pill so I get up at 6, work during the day and then at nighttime go to sleep when you're supposed to. Somehow I think that's the way it works better. So I've been told anyway. Otherwise I'll get the rest of the world to take pills so they work at night like me, then we'll be good to go. In the meantime though... I need a pill now, so I can get up tomorrow and not be late for work... can anyone Fedex me one... DONT use UPS.. they SUCK!... grrrrr....sorry Kay. 5 - A few emergency - "Don't Kill my Brother Pills." - I know, he has been a boring reoccurance in here and really - perhaps I better stop saying his life is on the line, because if he suddenly croaks tomorrow and the authorities investigate and read my blog, I'll be a prime suspect. Nah... I'll blame it on the pill... that will get me off. And if not, then you guys will all vouch for my insanity won't you? Yup.... thought so. Okay so that is my pill list for today. Stay tuned - there very well maybe a colourful, feisty new pill cocktail tomorrow if you're lucky. Cheers and pass the goddamn chocolate and caramels and whatever else you were eating in here earlier!! bugzy |
| Hmmm it occurs to me that may have been a title I have used before - does this damn thing have a search function?? Well anyway....Anyea 's back.. oh yeah.!!!!!... I can sleep tonight. I told her it is like a mom yelling at her child who is running in the parking lot - you grab your child, then hug and yell at them at the same time.... grrrr.... hate that!!So no more pissy blogs. I was reminded today of a time, when my blog entries were fun... remember Ski -ster in a tutu.. and winning a date with Bugzy?Ahhhh good times..... so today, something had a little shift. Don't know what yet... to date, undefinable, but the stars realigned or the planets did some funky things, but yah, things are different. Nothing real, or tangible or that was so powerful it miraculous landed in my bank account - but something is on the mend here. I am pretty sure I realized the pivotal moment it happened too and just cause you put up with my whiny crap for so long lately... I will share my secret with you.....It happened today... Right after I finished eating an entire bag of cherry flavoured nibs. Yup....that was it. So go hither people... and eat LICORICE!! Don't ever say, I didn't tell you. cheersing again bugzy |
| I always say, it's easy to be grateful when times are good. And sometimes I make myself sick with all my gushy gratefulness. So today here is my test for myself. Coming up with a gratitude list when things are crap... So here goes.. ahem.... 1 - Waking to sunshine. 2 - Eating chocolate, banana pancakes, drinking yummy orange juice and super delicious tea on a Sunday morning with Dev and Darla (yup she got the leftovers) 3 - That I didn't crash the truck even though I drove for over 4 hours in a snowstorm and saw about a dozen or so other folks in the ditch. 4 - My brother is NOT dead had to scratch that one because it technically is borderline whether I am grateful for that or not 4 - After losing my bank card that had been in my pocket 2 seconds before, somewhere in the truck when I stopped to get gas.... and after looking for it for 10 minutes and crawling around on the wet, slushy, snowy, cold ground, starting to cry, then finding it down between the seats.... Devann grabbed my arm, gave me a hug, and said, "It will all be okay mummy." 5 - Okay, okay ... my brother is NOT dead... yet. That's it. Oh except, I get to go to sleep and wake up and tomorrow will be another day to get things a bit more right. bugzy |
| ok.. just wanting to know the whereabouts of a few folks. Anyone seen any of these folks lately: Anyea hdelphyne Lisa Dawn - sunny days ccstring Yup... all missing in action. So if anyone has heard from them, tell them they have peeps who want to know how they are. I feel like I am turning into a worry wart these days. Thanks Oh and why is there advertising......Get "3,001 Business & Sales Letters" FREE with the purchase of StyleWriter! Limited Time Offer! ........on the top part of everyone's blogs?? Is it just me being a whiny, pissed off ass, or is this bugging other people?? xo bugzy |
| Hi Judy, Apologies for not contacting you yesterday, I was ‘on the road’ all day. At the board meeting on Tuesday, your proposal was discussed as was the general topic of chronicling the farm’s history in the year ahead. As I mentioned previously, (ummmm no you didn't) J.. H..... has begun to gather old photos and papers and has started writing. In light of J...’s intent to do this, and his role for the past 32 years at the farm, the board has decided to respectfully decline your offer to fundraise and write the farm’s story at this time. I am aware of and appreciate the many hours you have put towards this, and want to assure you that this was not turned down on the merit of your proposal, it was a matter of timing. If you would like to discuss this in more detail, or if you would like to talk about other possibilities, please give me a call or drop me a line. Judy, if you have time or interest in being involved in other aspects of the farm as time goes along, please keep in touch. Again, I thank you for your proposal and for your interest in what we do at the farm. Sincerely, Mark That's it for me today folks....I just have the wind totally knocked out of my sails....I'll be better tomorrow bugzy |
| Remember PJ gal at work? Well after over a week of being AWOL, I was sitting in the office this morning and lo and behold, she strolls in. Ummm yah, hello?? So here is the story. So she finds out a week ago friday she is pregnant again. Ok fine. Well she decides to look for a real job, since technically we do not qualify to go back on Employment Benefits or Paid Maternity Leave because the government is already paying us to work, and god forbid the hours we work would count toward anything - its complicated and dumb but anyway.... so she says, she has to quit, get a real job, collect enough hours to then get paid for Mat leave. Ok fine. So that's it. She says she will stay til she gets work, but the next day disappears and we hear nothing. So my boss calls, her several times, sends emails, calls her home and her mom announced, she doesn't live there anymore... so then we worry. Fast forward to today and the explanation. Turns out last Monday she checked her bank account over the phone and finds out she has $32,000,00. She freaks out, is hysterically happy, goes on a spending spree which included a trip to the mainland, to stay at the most expensive hotel there, a trip to Future shop, where some lucky salesdude got to sell her two brand new fully loaded laptops for her and her boyfriend, a new to her car, etc etc. And FORGOT to call into work... ummmm yah okay! Well yesterday the money ran out. Yup... $30,000 in one week - gone. So what's up with this money anyway you ask? Well it turns out her uncle who is 59, who is an alcoholic and seems to have some mental challenges (I met him once) was a resident in a 'school' way back 50 years ago and there was some naughty stuff that went on there. I really do not know the details, but if you were a student at certain schools, during certain times - you are allowed to apply for compensation for upwards of $250,000. So her Uncle (with PJ's help) applied and is in the process of receiving his shut up money. PJ girl 'accidentally' had the guilt payers put the money into 'her' account.... So she took up with Uncle and boyfriend and had a great ole time. Now, today she basically said at first she was here to stay - as she loved the job and didn't need to worry about Maternity leave benefits as Uncle was going to support her. Then after a chat with the boss..... and when asked to commit for the rest of the project, PJ girl said , well in 6 weeks when they get the rest of the money, they are planning a trip to Disney World - so she had better just quit now. Oh boy.... I have been upset all day. First of all - just for the whole give money to shut people up thing... Secondly, that PJ gal, accidentally had the money put in her account and her Uncle is really not in good shape to take care of himself it seems. Thirdly - that he, really in all good conscience probably does deserve compensation for what ever horrific thing he may have suffered - however, there is no 'plan' for the money. It WILL be all gone, way before the baby is even due - mark my words... (I HOPE I am not right... eh sweetT?) I almost think that that kind of payout to someone in his circumstance, should also come with some sort of financial consulting. When I tried to explain to PJ girl that he needed to plan as that money would need to last him the next 20 or 30 years and that would not go far... she rolled her eyes and said something like, oh yah, I thought about something like that, but I forgot. This gal is 20. She is not in a good stable environment. Her culture and her upbringing are not in good role models or of much help at this stage.Money handed over like that to someone who has never had any money their whole life, will seriously do more damage than good. I wish somehow I could talk sense into her, but I could tell after just the hour I chatted to her today, it was a waste of time. Her dreams of DisneyLand and the Pan Pacific hotel and her webcam on her laptop, greatly overshadowed any cautionary advice I could lend. I am saddened. This would be such a good opportunity for her and her Uncle to pull themselves out of this rut and cultural stigma. But there is really nothing I can do. I just hope, I am wrong. bugzy |
| Not a great day. Still no word from my brother. My stepmonster told me he got paid Friday - he's currently doing construction at the airport and makes $800 a day if you can imagine - but he's a lousy book keeper and kept 'forgetting' to submit his invoices. So he has the money, not sure why he won't return my calls or at least answer the phone. ...days are counting down in a hurry though. But keeping the faith is the best I can do. Anyway, just plugging along, nothing new really. The farm had their board meeting tonight, so I am on pins and needles to find out if they are going to go ahead with my book proposal. Hopefully I will hear tomorrow. But you know... I never stay too down for very long. Tonight when I checked the mail, I got a fabulous present from sweett. Both Devann and I received the most beautiful hand knit scarves.... mine in a gorgeous shade of purple and Dev's a bright green. (she still hasn't taken hers off yet) We argued about who's was nicer...and I still say mine!! I almost cried. I was so happy and surprised and just warmed up right down to my toes.... Little things. Little things just bring back faith in people and in life. Thanks sweetT - I can hardly express how much your gift meant to me ... today of all days, I needed that. I am truly blessed bugz |
| sweett had a great entry tonight about being right all the time - or most of the time anyway. And how sometimes that can be a bit of a curse. Well that got me thinking about being right - and what came into my mind was .. what if I was right....again...but it is something about myself. So not watching others make a mistake and get that I told you so thing - but watching myself make a mistake and NOT listening to my gut, NOT listening to myself and when all red flags pop up - hell not even pop up, but wave like 1000 of them right in front of my face ... and then STILL do the stupid ass thing, I told myself NOT to do... and then when shit hits the fan - I get to tell myself, I told you so. Not fun. Not fun at all. Yah... so this relates to my brother.... who I want to just love to death. He has been a savior to me countless times. When I was in high school, and my Dad was at his worse... my brother supported me and anything I needed money for in school. My Dad was of the belief that he paid his taxes and shouldn't be asked to pay for anything else.... so things like, money for the bus to get to the pool for swim team, or books, or school supplies, or even french fries occasionally at the school cafeteria ... my brother paid for with his paper route (he was like 11 years old). When my marriage got really really ugly, he canceled his trip to Australia and helped me find a place (paid the first and last month's rent) and helped me get a car, moved my stuff and stayed for a month while I had a major breakdown. When I bought this house, he worked here for over a month, doing all the renovations for no money. He is smart, funny, talented, a hard worker and a good person. But he is a liar. When he asked me earlier this year to do some real estate deals with him, my gut screamed NO!!! He has ripped off my stepmonster for money and is always wheeling and dealing and being dishonest. There was some initial monetary gain for me, and I was getting really hard up for money, so finally I said ok. So for the last little while it has been okay - but now all of a sudden, there is no money. I have NO clue where the rent money is that is supposed to cover the payments......He is writing me bad cheques - 4 now, so as a result, I have been bouncing cheques too and leaving a trail of mess behind me. I worked at a bank for over 20 years and maybe had one bounced cheque my whole life - and just due to something stupid probably. My credit rating, is pretty much all I have left. And that is what allowed us to get into all this real estate crap, because his credit rating sucks... no guff.. so I was helping him out. Now, he won't return my calls. He has never avoided me like he has my stepmonster and other people. I always said to myself, "Oh he rips other people off all the time.... Oh he hides from other people all the time... He doesn't answer his phone when others call all the time... BUT he will NEVER do that to me!!" What an ass I am. What makes me think I am above others... that somehow with ME he will break his years of patterns with every one else. Must be a damn ego thing of mine, to think somehow I am above his nonsense. Yah, well my ego got in the way big time - and now I am screwed. I have no money to pay any bills right now. I am close to getting my phone cut off and the bank is calling me (now I am the one avoiding calls). Never in my life has this happened to me - not even when I was 17 and had moved out on my own for the first time and lived on Bisquick and jam for days on end. So I get to say, "I told you so." and I get to be so glad I work from home right now as I can't put gas in my car (which is his btw, he is still lending me his spare as i cant afford to get mine fixed or replaced) I am so angry at myself right now ... so dissappointed in him. And I wonder, looking back - how could I have done this differently. The only thing I could have done was to lose my faith in him, to tell him no.. I can't do deals with you because I do not trust you. And deep down, I know that I couldn't have done that. For when I lose my faith in others, something inside me dies. I refuse to give up on him, I hope to God he pulls through in the next two days before my mortgage payment is due. My fingers are crossed and I can only hold the love for him in my heart. Faith.... hanging on for dear life. bugz okay I have a PS... after reading DL Bach 's comment... this was not an entry to illicit sympathy. It was more for me to sort out the thoughts that have been plaguing me for months now. You see... I use blogging perhaps a bit differently -- its not usually information and not intended to be social (although it is that for sure sometimes and I love that aspect) it is about me and my thoughts and sorting them out. Most times, when I blog something like this, I gain clarity when I can see things written down. Often I reread my entries, to see if I understood myself. In this entry, I started off quite angry really at him and me... but when I got to the last two paragraphs, a light bulb went off in my head.... when I realized I would not have done anything differently, I felt ok with that.so it's all good. AND another piece of good news I wanted to share... today I got two more article assignments for one of the magazines I write for, just found out they are due Feb 5 ... yikes. So busy, busy, keeps my brain out of trouble. xo |
| Still not really in the mood quite to blog, but I promised Mrs. Whatsit that I would.... so this is what you get. I'll start with some good news. fleckgirl gifted me a premium membership!!! THAT totally blew me away. It was very kind and very, very generous. I guess she was tired of me bitching about not having enough space for more of my crap and not having a costumicon or it was a bribe to get me to blog again...or gosh, could be that she is just a sweet gal, who wanted to cheer me up! Regardless... it did cheer me up and I got cool new things I can do and I have a cutie teddybear suitcase.She also gifted me a siggie and Ter gave me one too. look  I received a ton of c-notes and happy WDC birthday greetings which was very lovely. I felt like a bit of a party pooper, missing my own party. So not much else good to report - I did a lot of work this weekend - amazing what I can accomplish when I am not on here... heehee. All caught up on the textbooks and smut story edits. This week will be busy at work - I have to do complete rewrites on the articles as a result of our meetings on Friday - we are switching focus on the newspaper spreads....sigh....so all articles done to date are scrapped. I did get another article assignment for the Magazine I write for, so that is good news. AND the farm is meeting Tuesday to finally decide on my book proposal - if they say yes - which I think they will, I may need to clone myself. If I do, I send you all the cute, perky one and I'll keep the working, grumpy one at home. So yah...that's it really. Still feeling a bit out of sorts. Just plugging along, seeing if I can get my groove back. Still feeling a bit under the weather too and not coping too well with my family and some crap there. But.....I have missed you all. And sorry for not replying to emails etc. I will try to get caught up soon. Have a good week - I hear there is a holiday in the States on Monday, so lots of you have the day off - that is a great way to start a week if you ask me. So Happy Not-Working-Monday- see you all soon bugzy |
| Just a quick note ... I am going to be taking a bit of a break from here. I am very overwhelmed right now. I have a zillion things to do work wise and am feeling very behind. I received another text book to edit, a rewrite on an article and a bunch of other crap with my real job. I am feeling a bit under the weather too - which is totally unlike me, I haven't been sick at all since I moved here. But it's just stress I guess and some personal anxiety. So, I'll be back, don't worry ... just not quite in the right frame of mind to read blogs or spread cheer just at this moment. Be good... see you in a few days bugzy |
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