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 |  My purging and some other crap - can be funny, most times without trying :-) |
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♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ Just to take the crap out of me and put it somewhere else for safekeeping. Gets heavy carrying it around. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** It's me, Summertime 2010. I'm pretty damn happy these days. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And yes.. this is my daughter, Devann Dev   . I am the luckiest Mom in the world. Can't get a new pic ... oh maybe I'll creep FB and steal one from there! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And our little slice of paradise. I still after 'four' years here can't believe how lucky I am. Come on over .. the door's always open ( heehee ) Thanks for stopping by. Cheers Check yourself, or I mean, it out
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| Thanks guys for listening to my drivel last night. My nickname - other than Bugzy when I was growing up was, Crabby Appleton. I have a good, solid, consistent record of being a whiney ass, so I know how to do it well. Sheesh I even got a merit badge from DL Bach .. that made me cry....again.![Merit Badge in Determination
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It is already tomorrow and things are looking up. So what is someone else rejected your novel. Your determination shines on and continues as a beacon for the rest of who have the honor and privilege to know you here at WDC.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Determination-2500.gif) I seem to be crying more than usual. Tonight I think I'm just a bit worn out. I am getting a bit of a headache. I have been under a bit of stress lately. Working from home is awesome for sure.(thank God today I was - because my water line froze .. so no shower this morning!! Neighbour's heat gun saved the day!!  ...oops gotta go let a tap drip tonight!!)But emotional stuff is emotional stuff, even working at home. And the amazing Spa day is not to be discounted or forgotten any time soon- those things make me feel physically good and relaxed, but the next day I wake up feeling like someone has jabbed me with poker .. and not the fun kind  I am going to, of course, forge ahead with novel submissions. I was going to work on an article, but I sent in two today, so that's enough I think. I did a smut story edit - haven't done one of those in awhile, but this was a favour, for one of my publishers, as they are busy. Those are always so fun to do - just wish they paid better in money and not just fun reading! (and fantasizing) heehee So yah, thats a good use of the rest of my night - looking for more publishers. A few people said 20 was the magical number - although I liked sweett s number of 11 better... So either one more or 10, regardless, gotta get back out there. Thanks so much for your support. I reread your comments a couple of times tonight.....good to have that gushy stuff, cause I have a bad memory (my other nickname used to be Dory..heehee) and hate to have to do another blatant sympathy blog again anytime too soon. And... please send some lovin over to our dear friend DDWearsmeout She's always been a very supportive friend to me, and it makes me sad that she's having a rough go.Thanks again  bugzy ps... lost my costumicon today.. sniff, sniff - looky  I am all black  pss... that was too whiny again -... okay ummm.. lets see A quick gratitude list to save the blog... 1- my friends on here 2- Darla sitting right now on my feet keeping them warm 3- Listening to Devann singing and seeing her MSN handle .. 2 days til the best day of my life - her first real live concert with a girlfriend 4 -High speed internet 5- Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches on a cold day ok... now I can go |
My novel got rejected for the 10th time today.  Sheesh... the first one was hard, the second one too, and gosh the third, then the fourth, fifth, sixth were.... piss off you twits......then the seventh, eighth and ninth were....like yah hahaha whatever, one step closer, one step closer.... but 10!! This one hurt. sigh... I know, I know - off to research more publishers. I'll send it out again, but my heart is not in it this time around. Even with snazzy purple toes. sigh bugz |
| Today was spa day with my Stepmonster. We both had gift certificates to a fabulous place about 2 hours north of where I live. So after dropping off Devann and Darla at her friend's house, I picked up SM and off we went. Well - it was absolute heaven. I wanted to write this as a whole story, describing how lovely it was, from the moment we stepped in the door until we left 6 1/2 hours later. But I can't, I am just too damn lazy right now and my brain is already asleep. But I'll share the highlights.....Every single person who worked there knew our names instantly and didn't forget. We got bundled up in lovely, snuggly robes and slippers and stayed that way for the duration. We ate amazing 5 star food - an endless assortment of tapas - to die for. I had the best massage I think I have ever had - and I have had a lot (I used to do exchanges all the time with gals who couldn't afford to pay for their kiddies to come to my summer camp). I asked Mr Massage dude to marry me, but he said, "No you don't want to marry a massage therapist and you know why." I know it's like the shoemaker who's kids have no shoes...But it was worth a shot....man I felt so relaxed.... better than I can remember in years....sighThe manicure/pedicure was lovely too. I have sparkly purple toes...heehee see.....look DDWearsmeout ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And the mineral pool was amazing as well. I think I dozed off about 4 times between treatments.They brought us tea and ice water and fresh fruit. yummmm My only complaint was they should have provided wheelchairs to move us from room to room, as it was completely mean and unrealistic to make us walk, when I could barely get my rubber legs to move. I am now badgering my SM to marry some rich dude or win the lottery .... and fast. We were both definitely made for that lifestyle - not sure what happened that we weren't born into way more money - we sure know how to play the part!  Well...that will have to be the extend of it, I'm afraid because, even after a long drive home in the rain, I still am feeling all mushed up and I think sleep is calling me. Have a great Monday all - I will...why you ask? Oh gosh..it's that damn working from home thing. And the fact that Douger aka Myrtle called me a perky young thing - ain't life just damn perfect!?cheers mushybugz |
| I wasn't going to blog, it's late and I had a busy day today. Now I have official real weekends like most folks, I feel like I have to do stuff, not just piss them away like I used to. So today I ... ahem... finally took down my Christmas tree.. wow , I know, kinda weird eh? But I still had undelivered presents under there - to my brother and his wife (who is sleeping in their spare room these days... I was hoping to see them.. but nope. I am going to go down near their house next week, so I guess I will just unceremoniously drop them off ....sigh. Our house feels empty and a bit sad now somehow. I kept putting the lights on all the time and it just felt nice and warm. Anyway, the housework and all that crap got done today, cause tomorrow is the manicure/spa day - so don't want to wreck my nails!!  But as I was doodling around, I was thinking about fear and how that one thing can seem to stop us dead in our tracks. I have probably blogged about this before, but it keeps coming up again and again. One seminar I took years ago, talked about this a lot in detail... the way Fear was described was... False Expectations Appearing Real. I have always remembered that saying and tell it to myself often. It is so true. We set up these whole scenarios in our heads .. well at least I do. I have great huge conversations, play out situations, outcomes, the whole bit. But somehow, something inside me still makes me step forward. I don't know what it is, but whenever, I have stepped off that diving board, without fail, I have been rewarded. I think that is what keeps me going somedays. When I have huge fears, pop up, I really just try to remember those times I have face themand won. I think to live any other way, is to deny ourselves. Deny ourselves experiences, chances of learning and growing and really living life to its fullest. I don't know where I am going here - nowhere I guess really. I just hope for those of you who get stuck from time to time, to remember that - remember back to any time where you have faced your fears and won. It's liberating, self affirming and empowering. So just do it. You'll be glad you did. Have a beautiful Sunday my dear friends. bugzy |
| Ok.. go ahead.. ask how my day at work at home was.... Uhuh.. you got it!! Awesome. It was pouring rain today... I mean pouring!!! So I was pumped that my hair would not get ruined by having to go outside today!! wahoo I got up kinda earlish 9ish .. hey I went to sleep at 3ish ok? And I had a very productive day for sure. Ok I will admit around noon wanting a nap.. but I didn't. I worked a lot - in fact I am still working now - just taking a break to slide this in. I probably won't get to very many blogs tonight as tomorrow I am up super early to go to take dev to school and go to the Stepmonsters. I will work up there tomorrow - and put in extra time tonight to make up for it. I feel great. I have two .. yup.. two draft articles done and a couple of other little things I had to do. I'm going to sent those off to the bosses in a minute then zzzz. I have to go to a board meeting tomorrow night at 630pm that I am kinda excited about. Get to meet everybody, so that will be a good thing. Life is just damn peachy I'll tell yah. Big weekend plans. Saturday night I am interviewing two old ladies for an article about playing squash - chatted to one tonight and she cracked me right up.. this is going to be a fun article for sure - nice to take a break from reading and writing about the corporate evil plotting of Food Take Over that I've been working on lately. Then Sunday ooooooh yah.. huge spa day with stepmonster. We have gift certificates we got for Christmas last year for a pretty posh spa, so it's up there for the day - hey maybe I WILL look like Ms Siggie up there when they're done with me.... wahoo.. hope so!! Ok.. off to finish up. Hope you all have a great Friday!! Cheerios bugzy |
| You want the long version or the short version? *scans the crowd* Yup.. knew it.. long version it is!! My day started out crap. I forced myself last nightgo turn off lights at 11pm and tried to sleep. When I woke it was 6:50am and I wanted to cry... which I did later on... I felt gross. I was so upset and just got myself all wound up. I forced myself into the shower and to get ready but I just hated every single second. Of course when one thing goes in my mind, lots of other nasty thoughts don't want to be left out of the fun.. so they all line up and join right into the pity party... and what a pp it was!! I never do anything half assed! So my grumpy butt goes to work... (not exactly like the one in my sig ) And I get there first of course. So I spend the next hour trying to log into the internet... no such luck... grrrrrrr. By the time the folks strolled in around 11am I was darn right narly.So PJ girl phoned in sick about noon and then my guy boss, Andrew (who only works Wed, Thurs, Fri) said we should chat today, so I was all getting geared up. So blahblahblah, we finally got to meet around 1ish I think. So we talked about this and that, then I said I was glad PJ girl wasnt here because I needed to discuss somethings in private. I gave them an update of what pissy amount of work I had managed to accomplish so far (which wasn't much in my opinion), then I said I had some serious frustrations that I needed to discuss. I said the problems I was having were not ones that I really anticipated - Dev was fine, Darla was fine, house was fine blahblah but I said I was so frustrated because I could not be productive in this environment. The people next door talked for an hour about GST rebates and taxes and their visa bills and blahblah.. drove me NUTS.. I can't work with people chitchattering about nonsense. And the internet was so limiting and that I couldn't log in at all so far today. I was very detached but I presented a good case. I said we needed to align the duties of the project between PJ gal and me, as to our skillset. Never mind hers involves random blithering about her network marketing business and how her stepmonsters takes her clothes out of the washer and throws them on top of the drier and hides her dirty dishes in the oven if she doesn't wash them....  ....but that I need to be let go to write and she can take on the other stuff - booking venues, lining up information about the kiosk etc.Well it didn't take long - they totally agreed with me immediately. They understood my frustration and I was very happy that instantly we came up with a solution. So for now.. while I am super busy with research and writing the articles for this feature (due in 4 weeks) I will spend most of my time at home, except to go out for interviews and go into the office for meetings and for periodic updates etc. As the articles wind up I will come in more for reviewing, revising drafts, discussions etc. Then at the end of that when the articles are all ready to go to the newspaper... in 7 weeks... I start again on the next feature and bury myself at home again... working through the same sort of cycle.for 10 weeks.. then again for the 3rd feature. In the meantime, I will probably write a few extra articles to hopefully get the local papers or some environment magazines to pick up. So yah..... I am laying here tonight all set up. I have tea made, most of you folks are sleeping... and I am going to delve in and work for a few hours at least. I am sooooo pumped. This is the high productivity time for me, so I have endless hours to keep at it as I don't have to be up at some stooopid hour to fix my hair..... this hair as witnessed in my new siggie takes a heck of a long time to get like that you know! So in case my light is not on at like 7am, you'll know why... I AM SLEEPING IN!!!! oh yah... all is right in my world!! cheerios bugz |
| Apparently all my growling yesterday was creepy, so guess I'll talk. Had an okay day I guess. Here's the list of good and not so good Not so Good - 1 and 2 - was only raining slightly when I left my house for work at some ungodly hour - but 2 minutes up the road it was snowing and when I got to town, yup it was coming down to beat the band. By the time I parked and walked 4 blocks to work (cause we're not allowed to park close) my feet were soaked.. so I had wet socks all day.. waaaa 3 - I was cold all flipping day 4 - the internet connection was random at best, managed to get on a few times for a few mins - so I would download a whack of sites to read over then get out 5 - we have paper thin walls separating us from the dudes next store who run a massage therapy office... and for about 20 mins 3 of them decided to have a rant about their wussy clients who can't handle pain.. way TMI for me and was making me reallly ggrrrrrrr (sorry Kay.. last one .. promise) So yah.. that's it. I'm grumpy and going to sleep because I am boring myself with my complaining. I am having a meeting tomorrow with the bosses to plead my case for working part time at home, for reasons of impending insanity.. I think it should work. Ohhh.. you ask you want the 5 good things... well... ummm.. nope there weren't any - well except PJ pants (gal who started same day as me, remember who doesnt know what tofu is and drinks gatorade and coke and eats McDonalds in an environmentally hippy anti everything office....well she who wore her husbands PJs to work one day ) called in sick - so it was quiet so at least I could research without her randomness bugging me .. she likes to plop herself down beside me and giggle and talk about.. umm dunno, cause I'm working and not listening. Oh brother I'm a bitchnite nite bugz ohhhh.. late breaking news.... just got this siggie. I know everything happens for a reason and it was a bit of a mixup and somehow this siggie got made for me kinda by accident... but then again.. not really. This made me happy and I am astounded at the resemblance Thanks reikidreamer made my day really... not hard to do when I was such a pissyass today.. but really.. this is awesome! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| don't say anything at all . . . . . okay I'll whisper... work sucks...waaaa...I quit |
| Seems like I should have blogged over the weekend - 'cause now my brain is full and I think I need to go on a mental diet. This afternoon, after dropping the giggling 15 year old sleepover survivors to a movie I went and hung out at SM (stepmonster's) house. Mistake number one. I had to pick up my empty Christmas containers so I could pack up all my stuff til next year (she's doubles as my storage facility manager), so I took her coffee and thought I'd hang out for a bit. Well the subject of wills came up somehow (and no it was NOT my subliminal messages getting through) And she asked me to be her executor. Her will is old and my Dad wanted my brother to be it, so that was fine - but my brother is......let's just say, he's not the most truthful guy in the world and money handling is....yah...not good. Now, I used to work in the Estate and Trust Department during one of my stints at the bank - and the crap that I saw going on there made me swore (along with every other employee in that dept) NEVER to take on the role of executor - but the choices between me and my brother.... I agreed ... if only to save my own sanity in the long run. But you gotta know my SM is very very very bossy - I have great fears of being ruled from the grave, so I am making her be VERY clear now - get her bossiness out while she is still alive and hopefully that will save me some bossy haunting from the grave - there's enough of that going on over in Eagle~The Cowboy's Wife s house.. I don't need it here. I think if you get bossed enough in real life - there should be some sort of stature of limitations, don't you?? I'm gunna make her take pics of her stuff and write out who gets what - I really don't wanna mix this stuff up and accidentally give the pearls to Devann instead of Sarah (her cousin)... god only knows what havoc that could run me down the road.So this should be an adventure - one I could live without to be honest, but guess it comes with other duties as assigned. And might get me a shot at that horkin big diamond ring I've had my eye on No.. seriously - she's hilarious, she has alllll this crap in a safety deposit box at the bank because its too precious or expensive to wear - that is so beyond my comprehension - why own something you can't even wear? Boggles my mind. I have no patience for stuff like that... so bank visit day, is gunna be fun. I may need a few beers before we head over there. So now its officially a Sunday night, and I have joined the "dreading work on Monday' crowd. Never thought I'd be in this position again. But man am I dreading tomorrow. First of all, I am going to be dead tired.. its almost 10pm and I have a few hours of work to do yet tonight. I need to get a good handle on my next article due next week - so a few hours of research are up. Second of all - my Friday at work was one of the most torturous of my entire working life. I was so bored, I was beside myself. I got in early so I could try to get logged into their archaic internet so at least I could have some stuff researched and opened and saved before the gang came in and I got booted off. Well two hours later, I was still not online and so I totally gave up for the rest of the day. I read reports and went through the filing cabinets and looked at old brochures and newspaper clippings from the last 3 years and generally mucked around. I had to go for coffee once because I was totally falling asleep. The afternoon wasn't so bad, because we had a meeting with the Newspaper Ad dude and we are now going to a 2 page fold out, full colour up from a half page b&w that they intended to do before Missy here started working there. So I pumped .. I have waaaay more word count to work with and man I can fill that baby up with all sorts of cool and interesting articles. Only one problem.... I can't get online so I can't do any research. I was sooooooo frustrated on Friday wasting my time. There must be something wrong with me - the other gal who was hired the same time as me doesn't have any trouble at all @#% the dog - she sits there and retypes into word - letter by letter - other documents and stuff she finds here and there. I wonder what it is she is so busy typing? Gotta love those types though -man they sure look productive. I on the other hand, look useless - ohhhhh maybe because I AM!!!! So SM in all her wisdom and bossiness has the whole problem sorted and told me not once but 3 times how to solve it, reminding me on my way out the door to not forgot to tell them what she said. Gotta love a solution driven bossy person anyway. Well, yah, so that's my bitch about work blog for today, won't promise that this will be the last. The only cool thing that happened was when I got home totally pissy on Friday night, Devann had done the dishes AND vacuumed - I almost passed out. But turned out she wanted help cleaning the loft from hell - so my payback was 1.5 hours cleaning a room where, if you will remember was 'painted' a few weeks ago - and all the paint splatters and mess that I thought she avoided... well turns out she didn't. I get an academy award for not freaking out at the speckled new carpet, bedding and ohhhh a few other choice items like a TV, VCR and computer. I'm going that is a new art deco theme. Maybe I'll try it in the rest of the house to convince myself not to have screaming fit every time I go up there. Or maybe I just won't go back up there. Ok, well that's it. I hang up my bitch hat for tonight and get to work here. Have a great Monday morning you all - guess this is retribution for all the times I laughed at you... it's that damn Karma thing again , I only like it when it works in my favour! grrrr Cheers bugz |
| A little history...a couple of weeks back Devann came in my room, quite upset. On the exact same day, two things happened. My ex wrote her an email, all sucky saying he had sent her a Christmas present. And her biological dad, added her to his friends on facebook. (no note, no letter, she hasnt heard from him in months - then poof adds her with no explanation and she gets to see the pics of her half sisters...for the first time grrrrr) So anyway, she has been upset with ex - Michael, because ever since we moved he has tried to bestow attention on her - emails, presents etc. She is upset because when we were all together, he was quite mean to her. If she left her hairbrush in the bathroom, he would throw it out the window - sometimes in the snow and she would have to go outside and look for it. He's hide her clarinet and she'd be panicking before school trying to find it, he would not make any food for her, if I was not home to do it, she was not allowed to touch anything, tv, stereo, computer etc. She was not allowed MSN or to talk on the phone and the list goes on. When I asked him after we had been together 3 years if I could put him as her guardian if anything happened to me, he said no. So you get the picture. So now, he wants to maintain a relationship with her. If this had been me at her age, I would have sucked it right up. All silly and happy and grasping at any bit of leftover attention I could get. Not this gal - nope, no way. It makes her mad. She sees right through his crap and it pisses her off.She says very clearly to me... He didn't want a relationship with me when we were there, why does he want one now? Forget it. Wise girl. So the other day she received her presents and of course she was thrilled - all kids love presents no matter the source. So everyday since then I have said, Did you thank Michael for the presents??.. and she would say, okay, okay, I'm going to write him..and she wouldn't. Tonight just now she sent me an email... "Should I send this or is it too mean?" (cracks me up how much we talk on msn or email when she lives right over my head!) I had every intention of sending you this email just saying thanks for the gifts and money and to say happy new year and belated Merry Christmas but I feel its time you know how I really feel. I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but I wrote you a poem in the beginning of last year and I think you need to read it. I really don’t care if it makes you mad and you don’t write me anymore, or if you do write me back, its your choice, but just know, I've moved on, I have a new life now and I really don’t think that there is room for you in it. we can still email once in a while, but I think its best that this relationship ends .. I'm sorry Devann To daddy dearest We need to put this love to a rest I'm tired and confused And feel constantly used I know you only meant well But the words were to hateful to tell You want a relationship now? That’s something I wont allow To be so mean in the past And now you want the love to last? I'm sorry but I have to go I cant believe you sunk that low I loved you at first Cause love was my only thirst But now I can clearly see You had no intention of loving me I know this poem will never be seen But that part of my heart has to be clean For the next person to come along I shall make sure not to be wrong. I wrote her this... My dear sweet devann.. you have so much courage. I admire your ability to say what you feel you need to say and move on. This is something that at my age, I am still learning. I am so proud of you. I am so happy that you know how to speak your mind and stay in your own integrity. I support you in which ever decision you want to go - but I think you need to do this for you, if this is how you feel i love you honey ((hug)) She then said ....I hope he doesn't get too mad. And I said, ...You are not responsible for his reaction. then she said... what the heck is for dinner?? (and promptly complained) Where on god's earth did she get this stuff from? I can't do it even now, so even bother with that, ....she got it from you crap. Yup.. I've got a lot to learn from this young lady - hope I live long enough to get it all straight! cheers bugz ps.. Look .. see my new siggie.. that Ter is one cool chic - i hear she currently doesn't have a life - so if you want one of those too... I'm sure she has time to do lots more...she even makes up the good words and everything ... just don't tell her I sent you....heehee |
| I hid my last entry. I had to write that crap for me... and I really needed support from you all to help me move through it. But it doesn't need to be out there any more for anyone else to see. And I hurt someone very dear to me, so I need to tuck it away now. I work hard at communicating - it is not something that comes easily to me. Funny now that I think about it, but whenever I have had to say something really important - to my Dad or partner or sometimes my kids - I have written letters. One of my ahem... novels.. in progress is called Letters to My Lovers, Family and Friends. It sort of chronicles my journey through letters I have written over the years - perhaps is should be dusted off and finished.....or not. Sometimes though, I use writing as a coward's way out of facing things head on that need to be faced. So I am going to think a bit more on that to make sure what I share here is not just to do things in a round about, back assed way - just one more tiny step toward honesty. Cripes the number of steps I've made this year, I'll need a flippin' ladder just to brush my own hair. So yah...... moving on. What I was thinking today was that sometimes in order for me to make a shift - in thought, or situation or anything - I need to have a crisis. I go along thinking my thoughts - good or not so good - usually not so good and I work on my honesty and my communication and my (work in progress) ability to be clear - but still there is a teeeny bit of withhold there... sometimes not even very noticeable. But then, it gets a little bigger and I ignore it and so on and so on... Til the proverbial KABOOOOOM!! Then when the dust settles, I brush myself off, look around for survivors and without exception - things are better. So again, had my little crisis, threw a stink bomb, and now, the dust is settling and things are way better - almost perfect. I feel lighter and the world is clearer, hope is alive and well and life is just .....better. I wish that I could throw my bombs a little more gently and with a little more care for those in its path - but somehow I guess that's the way I cope - not too pretty, but for now... the best I can do. Dev said tonight - this was the best beginning of a new year she has ever had. I am thinking it was for me too. It's going to be a stellar year folks .. hope you are all ready cheers bugz |
I'm ending off this year on a high letting go of the past that''s been unfair souring right up to the heavens following complete bliss ~ free at last. Romantic melding of our bodies will bring us to heights previously unknown sharing our souls with great passion we'll leave behind all the pain ~ free at last. Your touch will burn through my skin and reach right down to my depths together we'll break lose from our chains and find ourselves ~ free at last. Screams of ecstasy will fill the air the only sounds to break the night silence all else around forgotten just you and me ~ free at last. I have a harder time at New Year's Eve than Christmas it seems. I want somehow to spend that time with someone I truly love. It doesn't have to be a party or lots of people or booze (although that's fun too), but I want to spend that night with someone to love and to hold and talk dreams and plans and fantasies about the year coming up. I want romance and love and candles and warmth and tenderness and passion. That's what I want. Well I can dream can't I? I wish all of you a lovely night, spent exactly how you want - whatever brings you all peace and happiness. I don't know much it seems... but I do know that I look very, very forward to hanging out with you all for another year. On January 18th, 2007 I found this place - admist the chaos of my construction and craziness of my home, I now love and cherish - and I can't believe my luck and good fortune that I have had this year. And all the friends I have made on here. I couldn't have asked for anything else. Blessings ...and for god's sakes... someone out there get luck okay?? Do it for me .. if not yourself!! and that includes YOU scarlett_o_h And I want DETAILS PEOPLE!!! heehee bugz . |
| Well okay... according to DDWearsmeout I'm supposed to be a cheese eating warrior and I think, if I got this right, I am not supposed to complain about my first day at work, but see the blessing in the crap cause I'm not getting out alive. Well I messed that up, but it did make me sort of thing about not complaining. So if I was to complain, which of course, I'm not, I would talk all whiny about almost being late for work even though I woke up 1.5 hours before I had to leave, my hair went stupid, I blew a fuse, I didn't have a chance for breakfast and why didn't I get my daytimer and my stuff packed and clothes picked out and lunch made the night before??... oh yah, cause I was still in denial until about 8:15am this morning. And I would talk about how when I got home from work, and had to make dinner, clean up, gobble dinner, clean up and all the while thinking of all the things I had to do tonight, which would be my normal working job time, I felt myself getting all pissy. I started getting moody and short with Devann and that all to familiar stressed out feeling that I have not had in ages, surfaced pretty damn quickly and if I was really to tell you all how I was feeling, I would admit that I had a good cry for a few minutes wondering how I was going to cope. But I'm not complaining... so moving on... In a nutshell, the folks are nice. The one guy is very well informed and we had lots of interesting discussions. We think the same on everything from Celtic Sea Salt to GMOs. I am going to enjoy not feeling like I am talking greek all the time. The other gal that works there, although a lot younger and not so knowledgeable, seems to be a hard worker and very passionate about what they are trying to do. Another young gal started today too - and lets just say, if we didn't kill her today with new thoughts of the evils of plastic water bottles and genetically altered tomatoes, she is sure going to learn a lot. I fear for her family if we do indeed convert her to the anti-plastic, vegetarian dark side. We went to a vegetarian restaurant for lunch and it took her 15 minutes to order - she had never even heard of tofu. Wow.. this is going to be fun. I am going to have to really, really watch myself. I tend to be a bit over keen and already I am having to bite my tongue. I really can see organizing this project way differently than they have it set up and I know I could do the article in about a week, instead of the 10 they have slotted with 4 people contributing....already I think I have them convinced to do a full page instead of half and sell ad space to get it self sustaining and even go monthly instead of quarterly... so I think that was enough manipulation for one day. But the end of next week, I will probably have the whole office redesigned and decorated and hell, have them moved into the empty larger office two blocks down. Okay back to my regular job now, that was enough farting around. I am going to try to get the textbook edit half done and finish the rest this weekend, so I can get the 3 articles due the week after going... damn Right, so my new year's resolution again this year is to stop complaining, I think I am well on my way, what do you think? Hanging in bugz |
| We all say it, but it never ceases to amaze me, that the build up is so long and the actual event is so short. This will be short too (although whenever I say that, I usually lie) But not this time. It's 10pm in my world and tomorrow I start my new job. It feels quit surreal, and I guess until I arrive there tomorrow morning, the realization that I am actually going back to the regular working world will hit me. I am so trying not to be deeply saddened that I feel like I am taking a step back, and instead try to see this as a small step to the side, which will still be leading me to where I want to be. Christmas wrap up is due I suppose. It was nice. Dev and I had an amazing time serving lunch/dinner to around 200 folks who showed up. I met and chatted to some lovely people. All with varying degrees of sadness, tough luck, heartache, loneliness or what ever reason brought them to share this Christmas meal with mostly strangers. I was humbled, saddened and yet I felt a lot of joy. I enticed a lot of smiles and laughter, I teased old men, who wanted a date with me, I made quite a few of them eat 2nds and 3rds. I heard heart wrenching stories and saw worn out faces. But I know for a fact, every single one of those folks left there, with their bellies full, the day a little brighter and even their hearts a little happier. It made me so grateful to be in a situation where I could be a part of such a moving and lovely experience. We will definitely go back again - probably even before next year. Perhaps if I can entice my new work to give me Friday's off, I go hang out up there and help serve breakfast. Will see. So anyway after that, Dev and I went to my stepmonsters. Well for someone who WAS NOT COOKING this year, the ole gal really out did herself. For all the crap she puts me through and the times she annoys the hell out of me, she can put on amazing spread. She gives lots of thought and consideration into making things really lovely and buying great prezzies. She even bought me sand bags for the back of the truck, so I am not going to do 360's driving next time it snows. We had an amazing dinner, then just sat around drinking baileys and watching crap on TV. Today was my treat - after breakfast, we went to a movie, PS I love You - don't go unless you want to bawl your eyes out... it was really very very lovely. Then we went out to dinner - which was certainly no where near as good as her dinner the night before. She was happy. She had a good time, so I am glad we went and hung out with her. I could have blown her off, after all the nonsense, but I am glad I didn't. We were both sad that my brother and his wife didn't come over. They didn't go anywhere. Just stayed home. He called last night and just talked for a few minutes. He said he was fine, but he didn't sound fine. He loves Christmas and I guess it was his wife that sort of put a damper on things for them this year... I don't know. They are complicated and fairly miserable, and I stopped trying to figure them out. Okay well, that's long enough. I must try to sleep early tonight - although that is totally against my internal clock and I should be working on a text book edit due tomorrow... but I'll do it tomorrow night I guess, for tonight I can't focus. I am too nervous. Thanks to all of you for all the kind holiday wishes. And for the cnotes and raffle tickets and wishes and Mr Anonymous who gifted me 100,000 gps! Wow...pretty sure I know who it is....yup and you know I know, but you're very sweet and all of you make my heart sing. I won't be on much for awhile, til I get settled and figure out the how to work at work and not really work and blog instead haha.. government money hard at work Take care all ... bugz |
| Six years ago (not five as I thought previously) I went to the Christmas Eve Candle Lighting Ceremony at the Unity Church in Toronto. It was one of the most beautiful and memorable nights of my life. The service, which I had been to before, somehow that night seemed extra magical. Everyone is handed a candle when they arrive and a certain point in the service, one by one, each person goes to the front of the church and lights a candle for someone and places it in one of 12 different holders filled with sand. You can chose between 12 different disciples each one has a different attribute such as love, peace, will, zeal etc. I took 3 candles that night. I lit them all for my sister. We had gotten word that her cancer was spreading and she was not doing too well. I lite those candles one by one for her, with tears streaming down my face. The gal who used to perform there was absolutely without a doubt, the most brilliant singer I have ever heard. I remember her singing John Lennan's "Imagine" and it affected me more than any song has ever affected me before or since. Once all the people in the church had lit their candles and returned to their seats, all the lights were turned off. Then one by one, each row of people singing Imagine, stood up starting at the back. As each row stood, they all joined in the song, until all people were standing. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. I felt such a connection to God, to a Higher Power, to the universe, or whatever you want to call it. I felt something profound reach deep down inside me and grab hold of my soul and I am still, to this day, deeply affected when I think of that time. Little did I know that less than 2 months later I would receive a call from my sister, that she was being rushed to the hospital completely paralyzed and within 2 days I was in Spain by her side. And for the next two months, I stayed with her there, leaving behind my job, my children, my boyfriend, my responsibilities.... my life. Those next two months completely changed me. I saw God, I saw pain like I never knew existed, I saw miracles, I saw and felt joy, passion, hope, dreams, abundance, fear, despair, resentment, guilt, helplessness, power, heartache, anger, sadness, faith, and surrender. I have written a lot about my time there, so I won't go into any more, other than to say, that the last 6 years up until tonight have been some of the most challenging of my life. I thought somehow my life was going to be easier, once I went through that experience and came out a changed person. Little did I know what was to be in store for me, and how my faith was to be tested more than it ever had before. Tonight was the first time I had been inside a church since that Christmas Eve 6 years ago. Tonight Devann and I went to the same kind of church in the next city over about 1 hour south. She asked me who I was going to light a candle for since the previous two times I had lit one for my sister. I said I didn't know. Then later in the church, I decided that I needed to light one for myself this time. The affirmation and the disciple that I received with my candle was "Will. I am open, receptive and willing to hear and accept God's will. I didn't really connect with this one and wanted to switch with Devann's which was, "Life, Divine Life fills me now: healing, restoring and making me whole and well." But I realized driving home that I needed the one I received. I need to know acceptance and trust. I need to be open to receive that which comes to me. Not to always question and fight against. To surrender and Let Go and Let God. That affirmation, Let Go and Let God, was the one I wrote on the affirmation wall on the morning that my sister died. That is the most powerful message for me. And that is what I leave you with tonight. It's late now. Devann told me earlier this was the best Christmas Eve she has ever had. We had pizza and I had rum and eggnog, we opened one present each while listening to christmas music. I am wrapping presents, with candles burning and soft music playing. And all is right in my world. I send to all of you an abundance of blessings, the feelings of peace that overwhelm my heart right now. That is my gift to you all. For you to feel just as I do right now. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I am forever touched by all of you. Blessings bugzy |
| So my real mom calls me today. Which in of itself is weird, cause she doesn't call much. She heard it snowed so she was checking in... which was nice. But it hasn't snowed here, just further north. So we chatted and to be honest, I was not going to ask about her 'sister', but I did anyway. I told her the whole story about googling me, then Dev, then my brother and how I found that site. Then I asked her, "So who is Eve?" Turns out she is my mom's adopted sister. She was adopted when my mom was about 7 and then when my mom's Dad died when she was about 18, she purposely lost contact with her stepmom and also her 'sister.' My mom only said, "Oh didn't I tell you about her?" Ummmm duh... no. When I asked if she knew that Eve had 3 children, my mom said, "Oh I know, the two girls live in England and the boy lives in Scotland." One day about 20 years ago or so, my mom was in the library and was wasting time and looked in some British book, which lists genealogies and found Eve's address in there so she wrote to her. And has been writing at Christmas, birthdays etc ever since. So it doesn't really matter. My mom is just strange. Although she knows how I feel about 'family' I guess it really didn't occur to her to share that bit of information with me.And to be honest, I have enough trouble with the family I do know, never mind finding any more that will probably be trouble. So that is the end of that mystery. On to more exciting things. Well except I don't have any. Just working here now, getting another article done and dusted and starting the textbook edit. Tomorrow it's going to be a nice day. I am looking forward to the candlelighting ceremony at church. I haven't been to a church in wow...over 5 years now. Dev's all excited tonight - even at 15 and yesterday proclaiming that she was not looking forward to Christmas this year - she's all bouncing around now trying to negotiate an early opening of a present... to which I say HUH!! NO WAY!! heehee. Happy Christmas Eve everyone!! bugz |
| I'm researching for an article I am writing -- Ohhhh and I got another writing assignment today... can you say CRAZINESS???...so anyway I am taking a break and messing around on google, putting in my name.. gosh I show up alot , then I put Dev's name in.. and found a video with her and Darla , then I put my brother's name in... and holy holy jeeezzz I found some kid's family tree, and my brother and sister and mom and dad are listed in there (not me or my other sister.. sniff, sniff, apparently we don't exist)... so I cannot for the life of me follow how we are related to these folks who are oriental, but I sort of looked around and I see my mom's name there and her parents. So I look some more, and sheesh, she had 2 stepmoms, her mom died when she was two and I remember her telling me that her dad died right after married his 'true love', her second stepmom - but she never told me they had a daughter.... and that half sister then had 3 kids!!! So sheesh, I have an aunt and 3 cousins that I had no idea about. Her stepmom only died in 1989 and I never heard of her!!! You know, I tell you... I am so sick of my family and all their damn secrets. I am going to call my mom tomorrow and ask her. If it's true.. then damn, that was so unfair to not tell me. On my Dad's side he had other kids before us, that we have never found. We never knew anything about his family until "I" looked them up when I was 18 and found out I had a grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins!! Jeez. I'm pissed. People are do damn weird with their stupid lies and withholds. I am sick of it grrrrr bugz |
| It's been a bit rough for my monkey mind today. Loved waking up to all your great comments but I was pissed no one said, "Don't do it Bugz!! STAY HOME WHERE YOU BELONG!!" Yah.. umm thanks a lot. I had to go to more paperwork today.. sigh... and started to think about what I had to do before next week and I better bust my butt. And tonight wouldn't you know that gal with the ESL textbook editing job, loved my first book edits, is paying me $300 per book and wants to send the second one tonight and when can I finish it? Oh yeah.. can you say, "You ROCK bugz!!!" I found tons of mistakes and this book is comprised of stories written by teachers... oh yah uhuh.. yup! I'm good! Yikes, so now I have 3 articles to do and 5 more textbooks.. um can you say, get off your ass Bugz and get to work?! haha. So yah, I'm gunna do that. So here is a funny story, I'm attaching to give you a break from my nonsense for today. This is from my dear traveling soul sister Chanon  This is what I have to look forward reentering the work force.. thanks a lot you guys... Now I know who my REAL friends are! * * * * * * * Christmas Party I’m happy to invite (name here)to our company’s Christmas Party that will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty * * * * * * * FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 10, 2007 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty * * * * * * * FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 13, 2007 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table . you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA Only”; you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. * * * * * * * FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director To: All Employees DATE: December 15, 2007 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty * * * * * * * FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All DAMN Employees DATE: December 17, 2007 RE: The DAMN Holiday Party Vegetarian losers. I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the grill of death,” as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!! * * * * * * * FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director DATE: December 19, 2003 RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Holidays * * * * * * * Have fun out there!! bugz |
| Yup... did you have any doubt? Yah, me neither. *sigh* So since you already know the ending... I'll give you the relatively short version. They love me They conceded on pretty much all my demands I start next Thursday Ohhh.. you want more? Silly you. But okay, if you insist.... It was an odd interview. They basically didn't ask me any questions. They really didn't want me to tell them how amazing I was. I would start to say, oh, there was this one time... or oh, there was this one job.. and they would like ... just sort of interrupt me. They just kept looking at my resume and saying, Okay well you certainly have all the qualifications. They wanted to know about my involvement with a Community Shared Agriculture I ran once and ummm if I would mind helping out the other person (yet to be hired) since they would most likely not be as smart as me and ummm why would I possibly want to work for such crap money. They explained about what their organization does. Interesting stuff really. - basically just bringing awareness to people on how to live a more 'green' life. What the project entails - it only runs until July. What I would be responsible for.... promoting their Grow A Row program - getting people who have veggie gardens at home plant an extra row and then donate that produce to food banks etc. It means designing brochures, writing articles, setting up a kiosk and generally just getting the word out. I dont see it taking 2 people 7 months to set up - knowing me, I'll have it done in 2 and be out of a job So, I asked about flex hours to get Dev to and from work and school - and they said no problem. I asked if Dev come walk over after work and hang out for a few hours til I was done and they said no problem. I asked if I could take vacation in January and they said no problem and I asked if Darla could hang out and they laughed... so I guess that was a no... but I'll work on that. So either they did indeed love me, or they are desperate. Seems like they have been looking for awhile and those who want to work there, don't qualify under that govt program, and those that do qualify, just want any ole job, not really a job they can be passionate about. So anyway, after about 45 minutes, they did the ... okay we need references to check out and we will talk it over and let you know. I left and pretty much cried all the way home. I just didn't know what to do. I just couldn't see leaving Dev at home so much and so I thought - well when I get home, I am going to talk to her and if she is at all upset, I am going to say forget it. We have worked to hard to get where we are to chuck it all for some job that I don't really want anyway. When I got home, Dev was doing the dishes, the music was cranked and she was singing away (darla had gotten locked in the bathroom ) I told her that I probably got the job - and we talked about what that would look like and that she would be home alone Wed and Thursdays and part of Tuesdays - and she said fine, she didn't care. I said what do you mean... won't you miss me?? She said, nope it was fine, she was happy to be home alone today for a bit. She said she was really proud of me and happy that I got the job.I said she had to help more around the house and she said fine hmmmmSheesh.... so that excuse went out the window. Then, the phone rang and it was the gal who interviewed me. She said, I lied to you. I said, Okay what do you mean? She said, I said I wanted references I don't .. we just want to offer you the job, can you start on the 28th? I said, Okay. She probably is thinking I am not so enthused as I should be, but sheesh I am just not. I still need to do a brain switch.. so here are my thoughts. Pros about taking a job that pays crap * It pays more than I make now (not hard to do) * It's interesting work - if I had to work, it is at least in a field that interests me and that I can get passionate about * I'll make good connections - I will be writing articles for the same paper that I have been trying to get a job with * There is a good opportunity to create another job for myself there once the project is over, if I want * It will force me to get out and be with people instead of being a hermit * They seem like good people to work with * I can stop spending hours every week applying for jobs Cons: * The pay is so crappy, it will pay my mortgage and food thats it * Its means completely changing my current way of living - no late nights, no working til 4am, no getting up when I want, no canoe trips whenever I want, no going for hikes, or being completely unattached to a schedule ( do I sound like a spoiled brat?) * No internet - they have dialup that is painful and one phone line, so you have to jump on, get what you want and get off - which of course means NO WDC during the day - that ALONE makes me not want the job * Leaving Devann and Darla alone ... as much as she says its fine, it's not * Darla will have to be by herself when we are both working * Just the fact of having a 'boss' .. I don't do so well with those * Driving into town everyday - it's only 15/20 mins but still thats more gas money * ok my excuses are getting lame * Not having so much time to write or pursue what I really want to do... which is write * Still keeping my writing jobs I have now and the editing jobs - so I am going to be super busy * I get stressed if I get too busy I know those cons sound ridiculous - but you have to remember I used to work 80, 90, 100 hour work weeks, I used to be scheduled to death, I used to stressed beyond belief, I used to get sick all the time, I used to neglect really important things -mostly myself. I have not been sick at all since I moved here. I have not had a back ache, my frozen shoulder was cured immediately after having severe pain for 2.5 years, I don't get colds, flus, zip. I spent a long time getting exactly THIS life set up THIS way and now it's going to change. But it really boils down to the fact that there is not a lot of justification not to take it. It comes down to the money and little that it is, it's better than nothing. And the other huge deciding factor was an email from the farm this morning that they decided not to vote on the project until January 22, as the President was away. So, although that probably will still happen, I can't bank on it. And perhaps the timing will work out. Perhaps when they say ok go ahead, I can still do all the funding applications and if all goes well, they should have the money to fund the project by May or June and so perhaps this job will be winding down, and I can just jump right into writing that book, being paid fully up front and not stress about working for free... again....maybe that will work Okay... so that's that. This time next week, I will be asleep already because I have to be at work in 8 hours and I better be damn perky. it will be good experience, I will meet lots of like minded people - and become part of a community - which is something that I have really missed and has been lacking in my life, and I will do a good job. It's a good decision - but why can I not stop crying? I feel like a whiney assed baby and should quit complaining and be damn grateful that I am getting a job, when there are so many out there who can't get one at all. So just smack me I guess. But I'll tell you... I'll miss this place more than I think I'll be able to handle. Everything happens for a reason... that's all I have been saying to myself all day... everything happens for a reason. Thanks for listening bugz |
| Lookie . Boy cleaning up a blog is way easier than a house. Sorry Anyea did I rub that in? Wanted to post a snowy pic of my house, to go with the whole yah, Christmas scene thingy...but the only one I have is from the snowstorm disaster which I still need to go to therapy to recover from, so I am not ready to see those pictures again Okay so today I had to go to an interview at the Cowichan Vocational Centre or something like that. The job I am applying for is actually being funding by the government (hence the crappy pay).. did you know we have such a surplus in our Employment Benefits "fund account" with the government we could probably eliminate world hunger with all that money! (employed people pay into a fund while they are working to help support those without jobs and if you lose your job you can collect a teeny bit of that money back... I paid into it for 25 years.. that would be a nice nest egg right now - but that is another story)...so anyway - this pay structure is similar to if you are collecting those benefits. Not enough to live on, but enough for the government to pat themselves on the back and say, oh we are sooooo good! Okay stop now bugz and continue with your silly story.... So.. I go to this office to declare myself eligible to get paid through this program - which I am and all they have to do is check their puters and say, Yup she is, but nothing is that simple and it's going to get worse. I show up at 3:20 as instructed and the nice people there say: "Oh, your appointment was for yesterday." I said, "Hang on, it is Tuesday, right?" "Yes, it is." "Okay then my appointment is for today." "No, your appointment was written in the book before I got in yesterday, so you must have made in on Friday." "No I only got the call for the interview yesterday, so I only booked the appointment yesterday, Monday, and it was for today." So after some back and forth, they were kind and made an appointment with someone else... Brad. Well before I could see... Brad.. I had to go set up an account in the computer. Okay fine. I could do that. Or so I thought. When I made the appointment, I asked if I had to bring anything and they said no. But they should have said, I needed my brain. Because of course it was like a 5 page online application, including employment history, where I had worked, from what dates to what dates. I know for most of you that is simple, but for me, it is not. My brain does not retain information like that - and I sat there for an eternity, almost in tears, thinking - this is crap, I can't remember what day i left my last job never mind 3 jobs ago ... and I got all pissy at my silly brain. So I just winged it and figured who cares. Then I got to see Brad. We got to talk about my "Back to Work Action Plan." Sounds all great and lovely doesn't it? The only problem is that I don't want to go back to work. that of course, is not what they want to hear. So we had to determine: * What the heck I had been doing my whole life (never mind I already faked my way through that once already - govt likes to repeat stuff - maybe to catch those of us who fake their way through stuff) * Why the heck I am not working now * What the heck I have been doing about it * My barriers to employment - I sited, bad memory * What skills do I bring with me * How this job is going to benefit me It was torture. Brad was pretty much serious about stuff, and really was not sure what to do with me. I wasn't really co-operative especially during my 10 minute schpeel on why I am really not that marketable and all the reasons why I do NOT want to work at the bank (these dudes always want me to work back at the bank) I got him to loosen up, when I distracted him with a few completely irrelevant stories about this and that - works every time. He was ok pretty much by the end, and not really taking this too seriously anymore.I either confused him, or scared the bejezzus outta him, not sure which. But, then I had a teeeny bit of a shock when I realized how serious it actually was, when he told me that he had to write a letter of recommendation, that I could indeed participate in this little poverty-ensuring government racket. Ooopsss...so I had to continue my distracting banter and pretty much had him completely kuffuffled by the time it was all said and done. I am pretty sure he is going to write that letter as he did invite me back after my interview to let him know how it went.Yup.. my buddy Brad. My ticket to a real cushy, high paying, cream of the crop job. God help us all when dudes like Brad are keeping chics like me in the workforce. So yah, wish me luck in this job interview - I'm going in, like my panel of advisors from  said - go in, tell them how much they need me, and exactly what it's gunna cost em.So there... hah! cheering along bugzy ps.. thanks terryjroo for all her hard work and creativity and equaled silliness tonight. You're the coolest! |
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