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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let Scarlett   know that a Blogger sent ya!Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 2011 Edition: How Far To Bethlehem? Advent: Day 5 (December 5th) "And, behold! Thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shall call his name Jesus.'" Scripture for today: Isaiah 7:14 Luke 1:31 Have you ever received news that could fit nicely on a double-edged sword? I have. It's sort of like the " Good News:Bad News" variety. When I was in the Army, we had to give annual Evaluation Reviews to those under our supervision. We called some ER's "Killing them with faint praise" We would give an ER that could be reduced to "Well, he hasn't killed anyone!" A while back, I had a special test done. It seems that one of the bumps on my lung was causing my docs some "concern", and they needed to get a really good look at it before deciding whether or not to do an invasive biopsy. One amazing and miraculous tool we have today that was not so much available when I was in Nursing is called the Peripheral Emissions Tomography (PET) Scan. You get juiced up with some glow in the dark stuff that is made up of nuclear radiation and (no kidding!) sugar water. If there are nasty gremlins lurking about, they "uptake" the sugar water, and the juice makes them glow...literally. Very expensive. Very nerve wracking. I got some feedback on mine today, and it was just like I'm talking about. "Yes, we got your results. We need to make an appointment with your Doctor so he can talk to you about what they saw in your tumors. Is the 21st alright with you?" TumorS! Tumors? Nobody said nuthin' bout no tumors, Willis! How come they didn't call me within, say a week of getting the results? It's been over a month! So, is no news good news? Or not. *Sigh* You by now know this Blog has a theme. It has always been personal for me, and to me. This is just another step along the journey through the valley, and I know that it is part of the process. It was shocking to hear. On our journeys through life, we all have such moments. You get a call from a Doctor. You get a call from jail. You get a call from a friend. You get a call from a stranger at your child's school with an "urgent" message. A cop knocks on your door at 3 AM. What are the possibilities that it isn't really anything significant? You weigh, evaluate and decide how to take the next breath, or the next step. Sometimes, you do it on auto pilot, because you aren't even IN the process at that particular moment. Somehow, you get to the next breath, or the next step. Life is like that sometimes. It just is. And, from what we read in our verse today, it has been for some time. This is the third gut-punch for a young Jewess. Perhaps, at first it is lighter than the ones that have come before it--because of the ones that have come before it, perhaps not. Here is a stranger talking to Mary about her sex life, for Heaven's sake! (Ya see what I did, there?) Given that the speaker is a Messenger, directly from the Throne of God, what he says has, umm, impact on a person. In my mind, Mary has been so completely disarranged that she may not have even heard his words here. Or, she may have quietly wondered why this stranger would say such a thing to a virgin, who not only had not had sexual relations with a man, but most likely had not even considered such a thing. I can see her getting her emotions slung from one extreme to another, time after time during this conversation. This is one doozy of a sling. Shock? Could it be shock of such magnitude that your brain just doesn't register the message? Well, I know that has happened to me. I suspect it has happened to you, too. Sometimes, we think we have a plan, that is working, as we think it should be working. Then, out of the very blue of the sky, someone, or something arrives in the moment of our plan and just decimates it. Such moments can (and most often do) affect multiple aspects of our lives, each aspect of which creates confusion all its own. Confusion builds upon conundrum, dilemma upon enigma. Well past overwhelming us, our brains can actually shut down for a time just to handle the overload. Why do such things happen? Why do such things happen to you, or to me? I think that one of several really good answers to these questions is that they happen to us because, sometimes we really need to remember that God is God, and we are not. I do not, for one nanosecond, believe that God causes bad things to happen to His Kids. I just don't. But, in the same degree, I don't believe that there is a single bad thing that comes into our lives that our Dad cannot use to bring us closer to Him! Sometimes, that means that we have to have applied for us a Hard Stop. Whether to our plans, our lives, our steps...or our relationship with Him. The closer we are to our Dad, the more likely He is to be hyper-active in our existence. This is reasonable. The better our relationship with God, the more quickly He will intervene when we suddenly turn the wrong way, make the wrong decision, or cause pain to others. These are terribly painful moments, because they inevitably matter--to Dad. He is always faithful to us, even when (and especially when) we are unfaithful to Him. We can get mad, or we can get closer. Because we are belly button kids, we have a great propensity to the former, when our first response should be the latter. Even in the most confusing, painful, anguish-filled moments of our lives, our faith should send us into His arms. Sometimes, it doesn't. That, too is a part of life. It is not a suprise to our Dad, understand. It is most often a shocking surprise to us, but most often after the fact. We miss the moment, and the message because of our humanity, you see. When Dad created us, the only constraint upon Him was that we had to be human. Sometimes, my humanness really shows itself. What follows is seldom predictable, and can bring to us even more or greater shock, pain, sadness, or anger. Or, when we have our brains about us, and we plug into our faith...we run to our Dad. One faith is not superior to another. Mine is not greater or lesser than anyone else's. It is mine, and as unique to me as my finger prints. That's true for us all. Part of the purpose of this journey is to have the opportunity to measure that faith, and figure out where we have been, where we are, and where we wish to be. Hopefully, we'll even figure out some ways of increasing our faith along the way to Bethlehem. If that could happen this Christmastime, I think it would be well worth the journey. What do you think? I hope we will talk about this today. And, tomorrow. I'm bound for Bethlehem. In His Care, whether I realize it or not. Budroe Budroe |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 2011 Edition: How Far To Bethlehem? Day 4 "And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said unto her, 'Fear not, Mary; for thou hast found favour with God.'" Scripture for today: Luke 1:29-30 (KJV) Today's Verse is inspiring to me. It's not inspiring to me solely as a Christ-follower, or exclusively as a student of The Word. Iit's inspiring to me as a belly button kid. We often throw around phrases like "Heaven met Earth!", or others like it. Yet, (and this is by no means the singular example of this statement) this example screams out to me, personally. Remember yesterday when I suggested my reaction to such a moment? Here it is, sort of, but not quite. The difference between what I purport MY initial reaction might be, and what the given initial reaction of a young Jewess is shown in this verse's first part to be is small, little. But that one little difference makes all the difference! For me, today, that difference is very important to our journey together because within the span of that difference lies the distance from where I am to where I wish to be. In other words, that little difference describes one important measure of the distance from here to Bethlehem. "...she was troubled at his saying..." I was so perplexed by this phrase that I did some research. Just for you and I. I went a-grabbin' volumes, no less! (No, Really!) Come to find out, Mary and I are not so very far apart in our reactions. She was suddenly facing what was, from all liklihood, a young-ish man, dressed in purely white raiment, with a certain "glow" about him. Before his words could have an effect, Mary's trouble had already begun. Where had he come from? Why was this stranger speaking to her? Shock. Zech had been troubled, too. In fact, looking through a very few verses throughout the Bible, you can find someone being troubled--a lot. The response seems to be the same. "Fear not!" Easy for him to say. He was accustomed to being around Angle guys. He knew what the story was. He understood his message, although he did have a moment's consternation that Mary should be either thunderstruck, or concerned. Remember that Angels learn of humans, they do not intuitively KNOW humans. They learn from us. Come to find out, Mary was scared spitless! That gives me a small measure of comfort. It also makes her entirely human. But, again, Gabriel is speaking to Mary as a friend. Actually, the sense I get of this passage is that he is speaking with her as kind of an equal. That's the nugget for me today. I fully understand that an entire semester's Seminary course could be taught on these two verses, along with the two preceding them. Please forgive me if I deny my nature, and do not create an expositional study here. That's for another place and time. I'm looking at the human nature of Mary, as it regards her interaction with Gabriel here. Why would he address her with such honor, and still speak to her so warmly, as to a dear friend? One might say "Why not?" I would answer because the relationship is not equal, at least at this point. If one presumes that Gabriel actually has been aware of Mary previously, which is absolutely doubtful--at least in her person, Mary is most assuredly NOT aware of this being, as her initial "trouble" would indicate to me. Only as the conversation proceeds does Mary even get a clue as to who this stranger is. He got in her space like he belonged there. She may have been of low estate, but she still had the humanness to feel not only his presence, but also his proximity to her. At least, that's the way I picture it in my mind. I don't see him hovering a few feet above ground, with outstretched wings. No, for me, his appearing was nearly incidental. Nearly. The Bible is a book. The importance of the Book is, to me, found at Genesis 1:2. If I do not, or cannot accept Genesis 1:1, then nothing after that applies to me. Now, I have been told that this alone qualifies me as a "fundamental" Christian. Okay. So be it. But, what is causing Mary to react the way she does is not religion, it is faith. That is why she has FOUND favor with Dad. Even here, her faith was stronger than her fear, her "trouble". Where others, including others that Mary knew personally and well, could not find the strength of their faith to sustain them when Gabriel spoke to them, Mary's response was almost automatic. Mine wouldn't be. Measure that. Get out your "Faith Meter" and measure for yourself. It was not that God gave Mary her faith. He doesn't give it to us, either. Mary's faith brought God to her. Mine? Not so much. Dad sent a Messenger to His Kid because her faith warranted His faith in her! Oh, my. I'm not a total reprobate. I'm kinda familiar with this whole "faith" stuff. Part of me wants to know how come my faith doesn't compel Dad to show up at my door. Is it because He just doesn't do that any more? I don't believe that, personally. So, what is it about me that has Dad so far away? I've not given myself over to "Ole Ugly" or anything. I'm not such a bad guy, and I've been told that I can be actually rather pleasant company! I've been doing some pretty hard stuff! There's just too much silence in this relationship! Can you relate? When we measure the distance between where we are, and Bethlehem, does it seem too far? Too much work? Again? I hope we can talk about that today. I'm not so sure I'd want Dad showing up in my "right now". I just know it would be just a whole lot better in the long run if He did. I could take the whoopin'. I've taken them before. Okay, so I've taken them time, after time, after time. But, I've taken them, and been better for it. I hate it, but I'm not "troubled" by it. It's a very strange thing to be praying for, to be honest. Yet, that's one of the things I'm praying for. I know He's out there. I know that I am the problem. I just don't know what my problem is. I wish I did, and I hope that I soon will. I want to feel some "favour" in my heart again. Ya know? |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 2011 Edition: How Far To Bethlehem? Day 3 Today's Verses: "And the angel came in unto her, and said 'Hail! Thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women." Luke 1:28 (KJV) As those who have been on this Adventure before well know, this is a very complicated, and information-packed verse. But, one of the many things about this Scripture that I have not yet had the opportunity to tell you is that the very first two parts of the verse are just incredible to me! We often overlook them when we are looking at the amazing and complex content of the Scripture as a whole. Today, I'd lke to share with you some thoughts on the first two parts, or clauses of this verse. Okay? In what is, from all appearances, a completely routine, mundane day in the life of a young girl, Heaven shows up. And the Archangel Gabriel talks to Mary like he knows her! Personally! "Hail!" Okay, this is the majesty of Heaven talking. The first of all the angels of Heaven itself. Think of "Hail, Caesar!" While it may not be a common phrase today, it certainly was at the time this Angel said it. The point I'm trying to communicate is that this is a warm welcome, a "Hello!" to a dear and favored friend, filled with respect for the hearer and their station. It imbues relationship between the speaker and the hearer. We sometimes give it due as a formal acknowledgement of greatness among us. WELL? Why is the most glorious angel of Heaven giving this greeting to a common young Jewess? How does he know this child, that he should give her such a warm and honorable greeting? Yes, he answers this question in the next sentence. I know that. But let's not rush past this moment, for a moment. Okay? I believe it could be true for each of us. I know that it is certainly true for me. I sometimes feel so very far away from God, my "Dad". I want so badly to believe that, were this to happen to me, today, that I wouldn't pee my britches, and pass out from stark terror. Or, even more likely, run as fast and as far as I could to find protective cover, THEN p..... But, the truth of it is that that is most likely precisely what I would do. I ask for Dad to be with me, and near me all the time, many times every day. But, on top of me? Looking me in my face? Speaking warmly, as to an old and honored friend? Really? Consider that for a moment where you are. How close is "comfortable"? How far away from you does your "personal space" extend? To your spouse? Your child? Your co-worker? Your friends? A stranger? Regardless of what came after, I would be more stunned than a human could survive in a moment as this. "WHOA! Back off! You're in MY space, dude!" I'm not sure the glow would make a difference--well, not much. Not at first, anyway. My brain would be in overdrive, trying to control this moment. That's what I do. I do that because I am a "belly button kid". I'm human. I know me, better than anyone else on the planet knows me. By the end of the second part of this verse, I'd be having some really serious questions. Would you? My point is this: We ask, plead, beg for Dad to be with us, to be near us. The best we've got is the hope that He truly is. Of course, there are tons of times when we hope Dad is not looking, that He is distracted with other things--anything, really. But, what if He were to show up in your "right now"? Would you be angry? Afraid? Ashamed? It's about knowing what to ask for, and how, and why. We have this overly indulgent propensity for trying to define the closeness of Dad in our lives. We want Him to fit into our comfort zone. "This far, yet no farther. This close, but no closer." So what if Dad were to show up in your "right this very moment"? I mean, physically. In the flesh. Gabe shows up exactly where you are as you read this, and says "HAIL!" Would he be welcome? Would you greet him as someone who is a dear friend, for whom you have long pined? Personally, today I happen to feel that it would be easier to get to Bethlehem by walking backwards, on my knees, through glass shards than to find Dad. I can't tell you why, because I honestly do not know why. That's just how I feel today. But, the even more amazing, incredible nature (to me) of this part of Gabe's opening to Mary is the second part. She gets a report card from Dad. The very first shot out of the bag, Gabriel tells this young girl that she is "highly favored", and that God is with her. Boy, howdy! What does a body say to THAT? I think my first response would be something like "You sure you got the right guy?" That's surely how I would feel, I know that. But, let's just throw reason and logic in the rubbish bin for a moment. The angel isn't telling Mary how Mary feels about Mary. IS he? Get it? What if Dad were to show up in your "right now", and say the same words to you? I don't believe, at all, that these words came to Mary because she merited them. (Sorry to my Catholic friends, but I'm telling it true.) I believe the words were said because she was available to hear them. It's not like anyone would ever expect such a report...from anyone, much less the boss hoss of da angle guys!! It is true that Dad had a purpose, a mission for Mary that could only be accomplished in that moment, because that's where Dad was at the time. The preparations are nearling completion, and now He needed children of faith. When Dad had found the kids He needed, who had the requisite skill set, He went to them! It doesn't matter what your skill set is. Dad has a mission for you where He is. Right now. There is, in my life, a huge gap between what my skill set is, or is supposed to be, and where I am. I see the skill set I'm supposed to be using, right now, as a location--a destination. I really need badly to get there. That is, for me, what this journey is about. Because I'm so confused about the reality of that statement, I have chosen to give that location a name: Bethlehem. As I journey to Bethlehem, I am also journeying through the valley of my life. In reality, I need to get lined up again with the relationship I've known with my Dad. I don't blame it on politics, or the economy, or my health. Those are all temporary, transient points of interest. My heart feels sick, and that isn't temporary. I miss Him, and I don't know how to find Him at the moment. So, do I just assign all the blame and shame on myself, and give myself a "You get what you deserve, you slimeball!"? Maybe. But, in the larger picture, do I truly believe that Dad doesn't know where I am? IS that what you believe today? "The Lord is with thee." Yeah, right. Really? |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 2011 Edition: How Far To Bethlehem? Day 2 Today's Verses: "And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary." I used to be a pure whiz when it came to taking tests in school. For me, tests were the easiest part of my entire educational experience growing up. Sadly, that is no longer true. But now, I am the creator of those tests and examinations, not the student. I'm pretty good at that, too. I count my expertise at creating tests from my success in taking them. As writers, we know that our words are our performance in a very real way. (Just try to tell a complete story in 140 characters!) Our words are our children, our treasures. They need not rise to the level of "incredible" to anyone but ourselves. We just hope that others, readers, will agree with us about the quality of our performance. I was once asked by a teacher how I did it. She wanted to know how I made the highest grades in her class on what she considered to be really tough exams. I thought for a few moments, because I actually didn't think of my grades in terms of everyone else's grades. It took me by surprise. But I do remember my response to her: "I come prepared, every day." I was taught that today's assignment is a continuation of yesterday's assignment, that the assignments were building my learning, but also the expectation of my performance. So, when I did last night's homework it also included a responsibility to review the past few lessons as well. The "breaking point" was usually the previous test. Each test became a stepping stone, or footprints on the journey of that course/class. Looking back, they had become sign posts, or journey markers for me, like those green sticks you see on the interstate. For me personally, the destination was NOT the Final Exam. For my mind, the destination was to have learned as much as I possibly could by the time the Final Exam arrived. For me, it worked. It made sense to me, in my understanding of school, and of education. I was never intimidated by tests, or exams. I loved to learn! I still do. And, here we are. So, how did I handle the assignment for this day's activity on The Annual Advent Adventure? I prepared. First, I prepared my space. I created an optimum environment for study, turning off electronics,cell phone, closing the door to my study, and removing all possible obstacles or distractions to my much diminished ability to focus intensely for a while. I gathered my study tools (Bible, Concordance, Commentary, notebook, pens, and highlighters) and my desk. Once I had my fresh coffee in front of me, my ritual complete, I just settled for a moment. Then I prepared myself. I silently inventoried my stomach (calm), my heart (took a little to get that right.), and my mind (man, how do such fragmented thoughts and emotions find such luxurious accomodations?). Then, I prepared my Spirit. I prayed, quietly talking with, and listening to my Dad about my love for and from Him, today's challenges, and my absolute presence in this study to "get it right". I understand that I will be greatly blessed if I do the work I have been called to do--and if I do it for the right reasons. I have no idea at this point what the verses for Day 2 are, but I soon will. Opening myself (Mind, heart, spirit, etc.) and waiting for what Dad has for me today is the most special time of my entire day. (That's why I repeat this activity often during the day!) When my Dad-Time is complete, I simply know that I am ready to be used. That is my performance for today, and my greatest joy. Next, I gathered tools needed to get active. I found today's verses. I wrote them down, then went to work. Geography, historical, economic, and social contexts surrounding the text were researched. I knew whose words were spoken, and then to whom they were spoken, by whom. Then (and the point of our journey to Bethlehem today) I began inquiring of myself the "Why?" of these verses. Finally, I worked to understand why, of all the words in my world today, these verses were the most important for ME. I call that "Digging Deeper", because from my understanding here will come my action plans for today to honor this study time. One way I will honor this time is to write my thoughts on these verses. I don't know in what other ways I will be afforded the opportunity to honor my study time today in the rest of my day. But, if history is accurate, I know those moments will come. Dad will spark my spirit, and I will know that I am just where Dad needs me to be to honor and glorify Him through my preparations today. I will be prepared, expectant, and honored to glorify my Dad in my world today. I tell you all this for two reasons today: First, the Adventure is only beginning. Those of us on this journey who have shared travels before know that this will be a very difficult journey to complete, much less complete well and honorably. It's never intended to be so, but it invariably becomes a truth of every Adventure. Having the very best tools available to you insure the greatest probability of success in any endeavor. These are a few of mine. They are given freely. Secondly, if you prepare in this, or at least a similar way, the world dims for a bit, and those things heavenly become brighter. The light available to us as we travel together to Bethlehem will be the stars, the moon, and the Son. Artificial illumination is not only not sufficient for this journey, it is incredibly dangerous. Artificial is not real, not legitimate. Artificial is a lie. There is one known to us adventurers who is "the Father of Lies", and I can assure you he is already aware of this Adventure. He's not really happy about us travelling at all, and he certainly is not happy that we are travelling together. He is Satan, The Adversary, The Devil. I call him several other things: Ole Ugly, Cornbread Face, Ole Stoopid, etc. I do not fear him, but neither do I contend with him. He knows more about my Dad and my King, Jesus than I will in this lifetime. He is a mega-master of the Scriptures. He just isn't willing to accept how it ends, and still believes himself above Dad. Every time he causes doubt, or fear, or anger, or even irrelevance of Dad, he wins. He is very and absolutely real, and having a field day in our world even on this very day. I need real. Artificial doesn't help my journey--at all. If I concentrate on real, I will be very sensitive to anything that is NOT real. I do, I am, and I will. My journey requires it, and my promises cannot exist in any artificial light. If I'm not willing to do the work required to get the promises I seek, why do the work? So why tell you all this now? Have you figured it out yet? :) (Yes, I MAY be off on a tangent, IF you haven't known me for long, that is!) :) Isaiah 7's verses from Day 1 (a previous exam) was a declaration of the strangest sort. These verses are written in what is known as the future past perfect tense, this declaration says that in that day which would prove the declaration, we would know it to BE that proof because of the declaration made in the past. Look at verse 14, and you may well see what I mean. Preparing. Preparation. Real. Dr. Luke gives us today's verse in his testimony: Luke 1:26-27 (NIV) He also gives us a bit of a more specific timeline of the events as they have occurred, are now occuring, or will occur in the future. But it is Dad that uses the unique tense of future past perfect. This tense is much more widely used in the Greek and Hebrew languages than any other. Strangely, most of their dependent derivative languages do not. No wonder. So, I refer personally to this as "God tense" for my own understanding. I also note that it tends to reflect "God: Tense!", as well. But I digress. :) Look at the preparation here. Look at the performance here. Dad's been looking to this very time for more than 700 years--over 400 of which have included not one mumblin' word from Dad. Knowing that God has no respect for time, I am compelled to look at the time span of God's silence. Not a word. Not a miracle, revelation, or cataclysmic event. No evidence do we have of God's presence among his kids for 10 generations. Entire nations rising and falling without the first clue of His existance just boggles my mind. Was Dad just holding his breath? What was He waiting for? He was waiting for His Kids to prepare. He was waiting for His Kids to be prepared to receive His promise. That kind of knocked me silly. Of late, I've been wondering about Dad's promises to me, and why they seem to be unfulfilled. The necessity for His promises to be fulfilled, when speaking of His promises to me, require me to be prepared before He can perform. When God performs, there is absolutely no doubt of who it is, or the level of the performance! I call those the times when "Dad shows up, and shows off!" That's when we "hear from home!" Sometimes, Dad just loves me into a corner and gives me the gentle touch of His loving "left foot of fellowship, to let me know that He needs me to prepare. Have you ever had that experience? Pay close attention now. This is important! I promise you that, if you have had such a moment in your life, you well know it. I need to prepare for Dad to deliver on His promises to me. Because I have not yet realized them, (which does NOT mean that I have not begun to receive them, by the way) there must be some work I must do before MY performance COMPELS His! If:Then. That is a truth at both the macro AND micro level of things with my Dad. I may, for instance, have taken one step forward towards Bethlehem, even while the next action on my part means that Dad needs me to take two steps back. Net minus one, right. Not necessarily. The new learning I garner from taking the one step forward has now PREPARED me for the learning that will occur when I take the two steps backward, because that is the learning I need in order to not only fulfill my learning, but will COMPEL Dad to deliver on His promise--or some part of it. Future. Past. Perfect. That paragraph took two hours to write. It has taken more than 40 years to understand. I hope you will spend some time with it, because it is really directly related to the verses today. I hope you will comment about your understanding of these verses today in that light (The previous paragraph) as it relates to your journey to Bethlehem. It may take some time, some figuring out. I guess that's why it's there. I guess that's why I had to not just write it down, but to get it down correctly. You see, I think that the opening to the verse can be accurately ascribed in a different manner than it usually is. This is a test of that theory. "In the sixth month..."of what? Is that a calendar description for a particular month? Many have stated that it is. Theologians have used this verse to attempt to "pinpoint" the time in history when the Angelic (Glorious) Appearing actually occurs. That's fair. But, I wonder if there is not another, entirely legitimate statement being made here. Could it be the sixth month of Dad's preparation? Is this why all of a sudden He has shown Himself again? There is a really nifty connection between Malachi and Matthew for me. Dad doesn't start an entirely new subject. He picks up right where he left off with the Prophet Malachi. (That's a clue as to which of the NT books was the first written, btw.).as if He had just taken a breath. Interestingly enough, the topic of conversation is...? Promises. There are a lot of folks mentioned in this verse, and they are all actively engaged in but one activity. Can you guess or figure out what that activity might be? Oh, go ahead! Give it a shot. Of course. Promises. That's why I'm journeying to Bethlehem this year. I hope you are too. Will you write your own reflections about today's verse, as I have done? Will you share them with the other adventurers with a b-item link to your writing for today? Can we count on you to comment to this entry with that link, and to comment here on your reflections from this, and other adventurers' work. You can comment or rate/review their work either publicly or privately, and comment and discuss with them here in comments. Let's discuss these things together, okay? I love music. I've spent my entire life in the middle of it. This Holiday Season has the music that I love the most. I will show you a piece of music occasionally that is helping me on this journey. I hope it will do for you what it does for me. It helps me to...prepare! :) [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Thank you for journeying with me, my fellow Adventurers! Let's journey to Bethlehem! Budroe |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 2011 Edition: How Far To Bethlehem? Advent: Day 1 (December 1st) "Now all of this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the Prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us." For those who are Christ Followers (as I am), this verse of scripture might seem well-suited for the book of Matthew. (You'll want to have your Bible handy for this Adventure, friend! There are tests!) :) Today's verse is found in Matthew: 1:21-23 (NIV). The importance of this Scripture cannot be overstated. But it can be quite confusing. When I look at the first part of this Scripture, I immediately wonder in my mind about the first part of it: "Now all of this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the Prophet..." "Now" equals, for me at least, "therefore". In my logical mind, that always elicits a queston from me: "What's it there for?" Historically, the 1st Chapter of Matthew represents (although not factually accurate) the very first words heard from, of, or about God in more than 400 years! This is the historically accurate time span encapsulated within the space in my Bible between the last words of the last verse in the prophet Malachi's awesome book, and the first verse of the New Testament which we find to be Matthew. NB: The books of the Bible are parts of a collection of writings. They are arranged for purposes other than chronology. I happen to agree with the arrangement that was come to at the Council of Trent, but I am also aware that, while Matthew appears first in the New Testament, his were not the first words that now rest in that volume. (Do you happen to know whose words were written first in the New Testament? Extra credit if you get the correct answer. 1,000 GPS to the first five correct answers. Today only. Just put it in your comment when you link to your entry for today. :) For me, the "Now all this was done..." refers to the previous verses of Matthew 1. Verses 1-20, that is. There's a ton of stuff in there, and I highly recommend it to your consideration. It will really help you understand this verse. I promise. But, that's the "all this" Matthew is referring to. Okay, so I got that part. "...fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the Prophet.." So, in my thinking, something a Prophet said before this verse is written is being finished, or brought to completion (fulfilled) at this particular time. Since, technically, there are no identified prophetic writings (as such) in the New Testament, whatever Matthew is talking about is, from the clue he gives us, must be back, across that 400 year silence chasm in the Old Testament. Well, ain't that just grand. Give me a year, and I'll probably be able to root through every verse of the Old Testament and tell ya! Sheesh! But, to be honest with you, I have a biblical concordance, and I find in this verse's concordance ONE reference to an Old Testament Prophet: the Prophet Isaiah. So, I go and find the reference verses: Isaiah 7:1-14 (NIV) I find that King Ahaz is given the extreme opportunity to ask something specific of God. Okay, that alone blows my mind. But, there's a truth of the workings of God here, that I learned a long time ago: Cause=Effect. The logical conditional of IF:THEN. That's how God works. If...then. Here, God is compelling Ahaz to ask him for a particular proof that what he (God) said is, in fact, true. Ouch. Ahaz is so flummoxed by the moment that he has no reply. In my soul, I know he was stupified by the prospect of requiring anything of God. But, it's not that Ahaz asked. It's that God offered. Read the story, and you will see what I mean. A lot rides on understanding this section. I mean, like the entire rest of the New Testament--and the Old Testament, too. But, anyway. Ahaz couldn't come up with a conditional proof. So, and this is important. God gave Ahaz a proof. Made it up right on the spot. Created it, right out of His own very lips to an unworthy King. And, that got me goin'. I relate to Ahaz. Personally, Ahaz has character traits that I can closely identify with. As he wasn't proud of them, neither am I. Yet, God created Ahaz, too. Just like He created me. And that got me. Right where I am, today. It's a crazy, impossible-to-understand world today. Here in the USA, where I live, I have been forced out of retirement and placed squarely into the middle of the Chaos that IS the USA's political scene today. It took a lot of time and consideration, prayer and listening for me to make myself available again to political life. But, it is not new stuff for me. I've been involved in things of the body politic for my entire life. I really thought I had done my part, and handed off the ball to another to carry on. I was done. Now, this. What's the deal, Dad? My confusion is at least equal to that of King Ahaz in this Scripture. The proof God creates for this miscreant King only makes matters worse. The proof is definitely God sized. Obviously, Ahaz will never live to see the proof revealed. Yet, what God says He will do, He does. That was the entire problem for Ahaz, anyway. He was dissin' Dad. That's never a good thing, friend. So, Dad, the God of Creation, creates a proof of who He is for one of His kids that will never live to see it. But, in that moment, Dad's plan gained conception. He breathed His Spirit into it, and let it nourish and grow, until suddenly the reality of the proof would appear, about 700 years later, in this passage of Matthew. That blew my mind. God remembers his promises for 700 years? Yes. He does. Even those that are just for me? Yes. Even. Especially. And, I had to go to my personal list of "Promises from Dad". That's what I call the list of promises from God that apply just to me. I've kept the list for most of my life. Not because I would contend with Dad. No. In my life, I have crossed items off that list. And, that's the amazing part. Just as Dad made a promise of His honor to that lousy kid Ahaz, so has He, and so does He fulfill them--all of them. Yes, in His time, to be sure. But, yes. Every one of them. I've got some doozies on my list that are not crossed off. But, because my Dad made them, I know I can count on them to be true. I know that every promise from my Dad will be completed--in His time. Not mine. Dad doesn't work on my schedule. Sometimes that really sux rox, because I need His promise fulfilled right NOW! Usually, that isn't the way it happens. Sometimes, though, it IS the way it happens. Not like He needs it or anything, but sometimes, I remind Dad of those promises He has made, just for me. The joy for me is not in remembering the Promises. Dad owes me nothing. But, for some reason, He really gets happy with me when I remind Him of His promises to just me. I mean, jump up and down kind of happy, ya know? Not because He is on the spot, or that I am due--anything!. Dad just goes nuts when he gets to see that I am actually paying attention from time to time. I remember this promise that Dad made to Ahaz. Today, I am choosing to travel. Again. I"m going to go, in my mind and heart, to that place where I know this particular promise will take shape, be birthed upon the Earth, and find it's completion. Just like Dad said. Because that's true for me, I've decided to call this journey, this grand adventure "How Far To Bethlehem?" In this crazy world? Now? Today? Yes. Here. Now. Today. I am bound for Bethlehem. I"ve got a real and personal need to see Dad doing some of His very best work. He's doing it with me, to me, and for me. I want every speck, every drop of His work. I need it, like fish need water. I need to know that Dad keeps His word. Today, it's something that is really hard for me to see. Things aren't going anywhere near what I would call "great" in my life today. So, I'm going to find Dad's greatest proof, and I'm going to do it intentially. I know that, if I can make it to Bethlehem by Christmas, it will mean that everything is okay, no matter how messed up and lusy it looks right now in my world. I'm on a Grand Adventure. While I am really joyous about it, I am also telling you the truth when I tell you that things just ain't goin' really great around Chateau de Budroe. How's your world doing? Do you need to find a promise fulfilled? Or maybe what you and I both need to do is to remind ourselves, and Dad, of the promises He has already made to us, personally. The verses for today remind us all of a really awesome promise He made to us. In fact, it's just about the most phenomenally great and awesome promise Dad EVER made to me. I'm going, to find it. How about you? Will you go with me, to Bethlehem? If so, leave a comment and a footprint on the journey. Show me a link to YOUR thoughts on today's verse. I'll read it, and comment back to you with a review on your writing. I promise. See how much that phrase matters? I really see how much it matters to God, the Creator of the Universe--my "Dad". I figure it needs to mean that much to me, too. Right now, I couldn't make a promise to anyone about anything. I've got to go find what I need. I now know, because of today's verses, where to find it. Come on along. I'm bound for Bethlehem! Bethlehem Bound! Bethlehem or bust! I'm on a Grand Adventure to find promises, and my Dad. Soli Deo Gloria! Budroe |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The Annual Advent Adventure-2011 Edition! The Annual Advent Adventure of 2010 was a huge success. Unfortunately for me, I have not had the time to adequately prepare for having another Adventure as I had wished. (Yeah, medical stuff--again!) However, the Adventure came to mean much to the participants. I was thinking about that yesterday--a lot. I, too feel the gap in my soul from knowing that we will not be having such an incredible journey together this year. So, I have created a plan, based around a comment made in a recent conversation. The jist of the conversation, which was begun by me griping about not being able to do the Adventure, included this comment: "Well, isn't the Adventure supposed to be personal anyway?" Yes. Yes, it is. As we were all together, sharing an amazing and Grand Adventure together, it was always personal. It was very deeply personal for me and, based upon the hundreds of comments in the Adventure Journal, so was it personal for the adventurers. So, I want to make it even more personal this year. No site. No lessons (but they are available if you want to re-read them. Just email me and I will send you a link.) No Discussion Forum. No assignments. Just you, and the daily words, for 25 days. How? I will post the daily thoughts here, in my blog. I will give my personal reflection on the words I post in a daily blog post. If you have a blog, you can do the same, and link back here your post to share with the others doing the same thing. If not, you can create a single new static item and add the words and your thoughts daily. The key is to link your posts here as a comment each day. No pressure. Just an opportunity to share something that is, and will become, extremely personal--and public. I want to like the posts here, in my blog because I can control the spam, and it will focus here, instead of all over WDC. Are you in? Will you choose to participate in this personal way, beginning (Sorry for the no advance notice. It couldn't be helped.) If so, find today's thoughts in my blog, and begin your own. Just link back here each day with your post. Your comment cannot be your reflections on the day, now. Create your daily thoughts and reflections, and post them with a link here. That's the plan. I hope the Christian Blog Ring members will participate as well. Our own WDC Blog Ring, the members of the God's Way Group, and The Open Door To Grace group have (or will be as soon as I finish this post, anyway!) been invited to participate. So are our graduate adventurers being invited to this very special, very personal edition of The Annual Advent Adventure. I hope to see many, many links. I quite honestly have no idea when such an activity was more needed than this one, today. I remain, as I pray that you, too remain, In His Care. Budroe |
| It saddens me to realize that, given the opportunity to share my GPs with others, for nothing other than a reasonable review of my work, there are those who believe one word a review makes. I will be sending them a special note of encouragement. If you have no review, make none. But, don't steal the GPs, either. You will be put on my blog as an entry of those who feel that cheating the system, and the community is acceptable. Our community does not care much for this behavior, and you will have a large, long, and looming hill to reclaim any semblance of respect here. We all know that this is not about Gift Points. Right? |
| One of the most oft phrases readers of my political essays see, consistently, is "Exercise The Franchise!" It has to do with democracy in action, in the United States of America. Wisonsinites have seen more than 40 MILLION dollars poured, by huge corporations, into six specific recall election campaigns, the vast majority to Republicans who are trying to retain their positions in the Badger State House. This is, if nothing else, the vulgarily of the "Citizens United v. FEC" case lived out in real time, up close and personal. One of the things that our nation has required of us, from time to time is to declare, once again, our premise for democracy itself. Nothing has been more under attack of late than that very truth. "We, the people..." is the point at issue here, more than anything else. That is to say that democracy itself has been under attack by those who would remove from America those things, peoples and conditions with which they not only disagree, but intend to remove. Worker's rights, healthcare, our social safety net, and countless individual liberties have been placed so casually upon the Tea Party altar of corporate theocracy as to be seemingly unnoticed. Well, it has been noticed. My prayer is that tomorrow, those in the vortex of democracy, brave and valiant Badgers all, will hold those who have attempted to overtake democracy itself where they live accountable for their nefarious intents. More than a budget crisis (manufactured crisis/distraction) or stock market spin down (manufactured crisis) is democracy itself. These proud and purposeful citizens in the nation's bread basket are standing for us all. It is not so much a matter of political parties. It is about the definition of who we, as a nation, intend to be. I believe their cause is just. I believe they are standing for us all, and that we should be standing beside them as they face the challenges of actually having their votes count in Wisconsin's recall elections over the next few days. More than anything, it is imperative that we, as Americans understand the battle, and the battle ground. Failure to do so is to decide against our nation, our Constitution, and our democracy. For those of us who have fought, bled and in entirely too many cases, died to preserve our democracy, to consider Wisconsin's fight anything other than our fight dishonors them, and we as a nation. These manufactured crises have, since the election of President Obama, been a purposeful attempt to slow our economy, "disgrace" our President, and bring our Constitution to the death table. This is not about debt, or spending, or cutting, friend and fellow countryman. This is about hatred, zealotry, and anarchy. Wisconsin is standing up for democracy, and the democratic process is at work there, even though the distractions and purposeful attempts to derail these elections by Tea Party Terrorists and their Corporate puppetmasters continue even as late as this very moment. We, the people.... Remember those words, what they mean, and to whom they speak. Moreso than any party, or Boardroom, they speak to us. The people of Wisconsin have heard the words they revere, and have consistently fought to keep as our most treasured words. They stand for us. They speak for us. Even if you happen to disagree with those voices, you cannot possibly dishonor them, or disrespect their efforts if you truly understand what we all stand to lose. I stand with Wisconsin. I AM "We, the people...". So are you. Yes, it really IS just that important. And the battle will spread across this nation faster, with more fire than any debt debate or criminal corporation trying to undermine the sitting President of the United States for their own nefarious purposes. It must. It is democracy itself at risk. On, Wisconsin! |
| It's going to be a series. Stay tuned. It's what's on my mind these days, and in my heart. I hope you'll participate. |
| I love writing. The mere exercise of the craft comforts me, regardless of the topic, subject or genre. After 45 years of recording my words, thoughts and deeds, writing remains a very close companion. It has also, for many years, served as therapy for me. When I write daily, I usually (but not always) do not have a particular topic or subject in mind. But there are times when things which interest me, or those of my several passions, bubble to the top of my thinking. There are times when I create writing for a specific purpose, or task. And, I write mystery novels, political essays, sermons or bible study materials, etc. Emphasis on the "etc." there. I spend many hours each day at my keyboard. Lately, I have traveled in different "spheres" of influence for research purposes, and for my personal recreation. To be honest, my last writing task took much more out of me than I had suspected, and my recovery time has been much longer, with complications. This is a confusion to me, until I realize that I have been pretty much writing non-stop for the past three years. One might think nobody could possibly have that much to say; I know that's what I think. Now, I didn't say that my writing was significant, earth-staggering or relevant--just that it was mine. Evidently, I did have that much to say, and more. But, as I look across the writing, I can also see certain trends which interest (or concern) me. I have three writing projects waiting, with six more in-process. I would also tell aspiring writers that this should be considered very good news, indeed. Having a catalog of work to be done is a great treasure for any author, especially when you are not tied down to production deadlines, as is my particular case. I write what, and as I want to write--or need to vent. But, the "season" is upon me now to carve, sculpt, and fashion into final form my words. This is now a joyous task for me, for a few important reasons that I would like to share with you. In the beginning, when I first arrived at WDC, the mere idea of writing new words was an overwhelming concept to me. Now, I schedule the creating of new words, editing, publishing, writing, graphics, correspondence, and all those other necessary tools of the writing craft. That, too has taken some three years to learn and appreciate as tools of the craft. They are not mastered, nor will they ever be. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying to you and you should run, as fast as your fingers can type, away from them. Anyone telling you they have mastered these skills is delusional; if you believe them, you are a fool on a fool's errand. What I have NOT scheduled has been life itself. I knew there would come a time when this issue would arrive--or not. It has arrived. I need to at least pretend to live a life that is at least somehow relatively identifiable to the life that was interrupted on October 28th, 2006. There has not been one moment since that day when I did not see before me an end. Oh, that is still true, have no doubt of that. But, I have arrived at an amazing point where I also see some rays of sunshine in an otherwise very dark and dangerous place. I don't delude myself. But, being "in" the sunlight is an entire world apart from merely observing sunlight. I'd rather be accused of taking more than my share of it than being known only as an observer. So has it always been for me. I'm interested in discovering if there's just a spot of sunshine left just for me. I'm not, at the moment, willing to merely recognize it from afar, and forever regret not feeling it's warmth. Just for a bit, mind you. Just for a bit. I am going to do that, and I'm good enough in the area of self-discipline and self-will that I will, somehow accomplish that important task. It won't be much, at first. It surely will not be some spectacular event, unless going out into my local society unaided would be considered spectacular. To be honest, that idea alone is spectacular to me. And you can surely trust me, I will write about it. Of my own choice, decision, and good sensibility, I do remain, In His Care, Budroe |
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