Take a look into the world as I see it.
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Blog header made by my good friend ~*~Damiana Returned~*~
"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."
---Edgar Allan Poe
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Traditional Gemini Traits
Adaptable and versatile
Communicative and witty
Intellectual and eloquent
Youthful and lively
On the dark side....
Nervous and tense
Superficial and inconsistent
Cunning and inquisitive
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Novelty and the unusual
Variety in life
Multiple projects all going at once
Feeling tied down
Being in a rut
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|Yesterday with grandpa wasn't the greatest day I ever had with him. It was frustrating and amusing at the same time. I got to grandpa's house around 8:15am to take his car in to the auto-shop.......he wasn't ready, in fact he hadn't ate yet. We went and picked up my car first to give it a test spin and have it inspected at the place where we were taking grandpa's car. While we were driving over to get my car, grandpa was all nit-picky over my driving with a few other things. Grandpa drove my car, so he could make a personal judgement to see if it was in great running condition, which it was. It needs some minor bodywork and mechanical work, but nothing serious. Grandpa decided to buy the car for me because it was a good deal. After we dropped his car off we took mine and paid the guy, and then drove over to the insurance company, where he nit-picked some more and was smoking a cigar, and then managed to get stuck behind a stinky diesel truck on top of that. With the cigar and diesel fumes combined made me sick and gave me a headache. After we left the insurance agency, grandpa got back in the car and tried to get his seatbelt on, the belt part got twisted and stuck in the buckle, and he was tugging at it and muttering his usual, "God" and getting all flustered and flabbergasted over it. I fought so hard to contain my laughter. I managed to let a few snickers loose. After about ten minutes of fighting the seat belt, he was able to get it untwisted. So I started the car and off we went to the Secretary of State. We got there and it wasn't a very long wait, but then grandpa realized that he didn't have his license with him, so we had to turn around and go back to his house to search for it. We looked everywhere and couldn't track it down. Grandma called grandpa a dipshit. Grandpa managed to find an old insurance policy with his drivers license number on it and sent me back to the Secretary of State alone to get the title transferred and pay for the license plate and tabs. I asked them if they had my grandfather's license there because the last time that he used it was a couple weeks ago. They found it and gave it back to me. I came home and handed grandpa his license and told him to chain it to his wallet or something. We managed to get everything handled before the end of the day.
|I finally have my own car, thank God. Grandpa's car has too much wrong with it and it doesn't quite fit my personality. But it was something to drive. After selling my dad's truck, my grandparents finally had the money to get me another car. I found a really nice red 1999 Pontiac GrandAm SE near where I live. It's in pretty good shape and needs some bodywork and a few minor mechanical repairs, but nothing huge. I am so thrilled to have my own car again!
|I feel like I am going to be trapped in Hell for the rest of my life living with my sister and niece. I now know for sure that Sheila will never move out. This is the unhappiest that I have been in a long time, all thanks to Sheila whom I know will never grow up, because she's just like Belinda. I will be single for the rest of my life. Men won't date me because I don't live alone. I would move out if I could ever find a job. Sometimes I regret moving back to this shithole called Michigan. I have looked in Holland, Grand Rapids, Kalamazoo, Battle Creek, Detroit and its surrounding suburbs, and have come up empty-handed. I hate this state. I hate living with my sister. I don't feel like I will ever have a peaceful and happy life. A black cloud seems to follow me where ever I go. I am doomed for the rest of my life.
|I didn't totally lose out on my birthday. I bought myself lunch at the Pita Pit by the Western campus. Then later on, I went to Target and bought myself a new dvd player for only $30, and a few dvds. One of them was the Rocky saga with all six movies for $19.99 when the regular price was $44.99, and then I found Look Who's Talking for $5.50. Then Saturday evening my grandparents took me out to dinner at the Mainstreet Grill, where I had a shrimp basket, with coleslaw, fries, texas toast, and a salad, along with a free gummi bear martini (peach schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, sour) and a free piece of chocolate-cherry cheesecake because it was my birthday. The cheesecake tasted like one of those Cherry Cordials. Then on Sunday morning, my cousin Melissa is fashionably late! invites me out for dinner where she made baked spaghetti, garlic bread, and asparagus. Later on that evening we made s'mores on her gas stove and watched movies. So all in all, it was a great 3 days.
|I am not as unhappy as I thought that I would be. I bought myself lunch at Pita Pit, and then bought myself that much needed dvd player and a few movies. Then I bought myself dinner at Panera. Even though my birthday wasn't all that I hoped for, I am just happy to be alive. The only good thing that happened today was the temp agency called me and told me that they might have something for me really soon, so I will probably hear from them next week or so.
|Well I don't certainly feel any older if that's of any consolation. I couldn't sleep lastnight. I don't know why, but every year, on the day before my birthday, I have a hard time sleeping. I can't understand why I get so apprehensive about my birthday. I am not even concerned about getting older, lol. So I don't even know what my problem is. I still don't know what I am doing tonight for my birthday. I thought something was going to happen, I guess not. I am not that upset or disappointed about it. My cousin Melissa is fashionably late! was going to do something for me like have a cookout and swimming, but it doesn't look like the weather is going to hold up for that. I'm okay with whatever happens today. My sister Sheila opened my door while I was getting ready and wished me "Happy Birthday", which was thoughtful of her. Even my ex boyfriend sent me an offline message, wishing me a Happy Birthday, which was nice too. I haven't gotten anything for my birthday except for a dvd of Caddyshack, lol. It would be even better if I had a dvd player that actually worked. The one in the livingroom stopped working altogether.
|This is another joke that I found on ComedyCentral.com. It's pretty cute.
Tight Skirt, Bus Stop
One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"
Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
|I thought this was really cute. It's not the funniest joke I have ever read, but it scores high on the cuteness level.
The Scottie Dog Who Knew Karate
There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.
So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog."
And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate."
The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair."
The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.
So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!"
|OMG! Next door, the college is having some stupid thing. It woke me up. At first I thought Sheila was playing a movie in her room really loud. Then I heard the kitten in her room meowing, which meant that Sheila didn't come home from her all night boozing and bar-hopping. Okay, back to what was talking about before. I don't know if this is some kind of graduation end of the year bullshit like most schools tend to do. It bites ass living next door to a school because you can hear every single thing that goes on. It wouldn't be so bad, but there are tone-deaf morons singing karaoke. I heard this one girl sing and she was so bad that a dog would come up next to her and start howling. I thought maybe the American Idol people were holding auditions right here in Kalamazoo. All the while I am hearing this nonsense, the Twilight Zone theme is playing in my head.
|One more day to go before I turn 31. I still don't know what I want to do that day. I have a feeling that I am going to be disappointed as always. Oh well.
If you haven't seen them already, I posted a few jokes to break the monotany of my bitching about my woes with my sister and her boyfriend.
|I just had to share another joke.
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."
|Bobbitt Family Update
In a recent news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged with
|A good friend of mine sent this to me through email. I must say that it's hilarious! Enjoy!
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
|I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up too much. Sheila doesn't know if she's moving out or not. But she said that if it isn't this week, it will be next week because she's going to try and get a place of her own. I still don't trust that. I am really worried that I will never get my sanity back if she continues to live here. I can't date or bring a guy home. It fucking sucks and I am fucking tired of it. Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo. That's what my life feels like. I will never be happy and I will never have my sanity, ever again.
|To me this was so funny, but at the same time, I feel like I would be committing the ultimate sin against God. I will admit, I have had sex in a public place before, but this is going a bit too far. Here is the article, I don't want to spoil the meat of the story, lol.
|Now I know why I hate people that I meet in chatrooms and stuff. The great majority that are in there are moronic half-wits, that can't speak proper english or spell worth a damn. Being a substitute teacher and a writer, I get really annoyed with abbreviations like IDK (I don't know), ghetto slang, and misspelled words like Wud, instead of "Would". I can put up with abbreviations like "LOL" or "LMAO". Maybe I am just a stuck-up snob. But damnit! Those things irritate me to death! I hate grammatically lazy people. Those are the kind of nit-wits that I put on ignore or the hopeless and brainless perverts that I get sometimes. Another thing I find really annoying, is if I get up and go into the kitchen or something, someone asks me something, and if I don't answer right away, they get all pissy and obnoxious. I hate that. Sometimes you can meet decent people on here, but not always. I really only go into chatrooms because I get bored, and I just like talking to people. It's not like I meet these people in person.
|As I come ever so closer to finishing this blog, I have finally come up with a name for the new one. I am not going to share the name with any of you until I actually create the thing. I still hope to be finished with this by Friday of this week. I have a whole new color scheme and banner in the works. It will be so fun to complete this one and move onto the next one!
|I still don't know what I want to do for my birthday. I just haven't made up my mind yet. I have a few options out there, but can't come to a decision just yet, lol. Then again, it might just turn out just to be like any other day. It doesn't really matter to me that much, whether I spend it alone, with family, or with friends. Right now, I have this "who cares" mentality. We will see what happens.