Take a look into the world as I see it.
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Blog header made by my good friend ~*~Damiana Returned~*~
"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."
---Edgar Allan Poe
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Traditional Gemini Traits
Adaptable and versatile
Communicative and witty
Intellectual and eloquent
Youthful and lively
On the dark side....
Nervous and tense
Superficial and inconsistent
Cunning and inquisitive
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Novelty and the unusual
Variety in life
Multiple projects all going at once
Feeling tied down
Being in a rut
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|My birthday will be here in 9 more days. I still haven't figured out what I am going to do with myself. LOL. I am turning 31, and I figured since my 30th was a snooze-fest that I would think up something cool to do. I haven't figured anything out yet. Kalamazoo is like the realm of boring. I am going to have to figure out my own kind of fun, I guess.
|Sheila and I are on better terms since she has found a new place of her own. It will be good for her and Jazlyn, and good for me too. She moves out either Friday or Saturday. She didn't even fight me on the remaining bills for the electricity and cable. I brought it up casually and told her they were for last month. I am surprised that she didn't get pissy with me. I will gladly take civility any day, lol. She told me that she would have her half of the money for the bills to me tonight. I am glad that everything is falling into place. I have a lot of cleaning to do after Sheila leaves. I will miss having Jazlyn around even though she can be a brat at times. She's also destructive, along with her equally destructive kitten, lol. I woke up this morning and came out to find one of Sheila's votive holders on the floor, broken into pieces. I know for a fact that it was Patience that did it, because my cats know better and don't jump onto things and knock them down. I have caught Patience in the act of knocking vases and picture frames over. So I know that it's her. Once in awhile, one of my cats might knock something over, but they can't even begin to match the destructiveness of that kitten put together.
| I was on my walk today, and when I got onto the next street, this lady pulls up beside me and says, "I really admire you for walking everyday like you do! Don't ever give up!" I thought that was really cool! I didn't think total strangers even noticed me and what I was doing. I thanked her for the compliments and noticing what I was doing for myself. I have dropped 6 sizes since I started walking. Hearing things like this from complete strangers gives me more motivation than anything ever could. I feel so inspired and so happy after hearing this today!
|I went down in my grandparents basement today to sort through the things I want and the things that I don't want. I have a lot of breakables that I didn't want Jazlyn to get into. Now that they are moving, I can bring them up to the apartment. I know for sure that the cats won't bother them. So, the stuff that I decide to get rid of will go into the garage sale. I had things down in the basement that I forgot that I had. I have a lot of those Cherished Teddies figurines. I am keeping those, of course. Then I found a couple of heirlooms, one was Great Grandma DeVries's, and the other was Great Grandma Meeth's. Those will be something that I hand down to my own children someday. It was kind of nice to walk down memory lane so to speak.
|After my spill in the driveway at grandma and grandpa's house, it didn't seem that bad until I tried sleeping lastnight. It was worse than before when I had injured it the last time. I tossed and turned all through the night lastnight. It still hurts today. Maybe it wasn't completely healed. I am still embarrassed about falling in the driveway. I need to be more careful.
|I am tired of talking to Jerry. Mr Negative is a better name for him. He never has anything good to say. He has started drinking again. His anger problem is back and so is his bad attitude. Everyone can be rest assured that I will not take him back. Not after this latest crap. I think I will take this as a sign from God, that it's okay to find a future with someone else. I need a sane and lucid person in my life. I still need to send money to Jerry so he can send me the rest of my stuff. Hopefully before the end of the month, I can have it sent to him. A future with him is definately not in the cards. I am not going to waste my time waiting for him to change his act around. I wasn't wasting time in the first place. I am having a difficult time finding someone that I like. I am way too picky. I have to be, otherwise I could wind up very unhappy.
|I am tired of being driven out of my apartment by my sister's and Dan's fighting. I wish they would get the hell out, or I find a great job for keeps, so I can get the hell out. It's not only upsetting to me, but also to my cats. People don't realize that humans aren't the only ones affected by yelling and fighting. Pets are affected by it too. My cats get scared because of Sheila's big mouth. It's too stressful for either one of us (me and my cats). They fought again today about the same stupid thing that they always fight about. Sheila went out with her co-workers lastnight and didn't get home until 3am, so Dan also went out and didn't come home until 5:30am. Jazlyn was at a babysitters house. Lucky me. Sheila acts as if Dan doesn't have a right to go out, but she can do as she pleases whenever and where ever she wants. Both of them have a lot of growing up to do. Why can't they act like adults for a change? I am tired of their constant bickering. It gets to the point where I suffer from cluster headaches and migraines because of Sheila. She has an anger problem. I want out as soon as possible. I can't take anymore.
|Dan asked me what I was doing for my birthday. I told him nothing. LOL. He has offered to take me out for a few drinks on my birthday. I know how carried away I get with alcohol. Being drunk isn't so bad, if I don't throw up, lol. Hangovers definately suck, so I really wouldn't want that. A buzz feels kind of cool though, lol. It's nice of him to offer though. The truth is, I don't know what will be going on on my birthday.
|I hurt the right side of my back again. It's in the same spot too. I know that I must have gotten it from carrying something on my right shoulder that was too heavy for me in the first place. Then if that wasn't enough, I fell in my grandparents driveway and landed on my right arm, which made the pain level in my back unbearable. Now I am in the same place I was when it was bothering me the last time. Damn.
|I overheard a really nasty conversation this morning while I was still laying in bed. Sheila and Dan were talking about poop.
Dan goes, "Hey Sheila, remember that time that I was in the bathroom, and I dumped a footlong turd in the toilet and it was half hanging out of the water, and we took a picture of it?"
Who the hell takes a picture of poop? Who would be that sick? Who has so much time on their hands to take pictures of poop? Apparently Dan and Sheila do. Then I heard Sheila ask Dan if he still had the picture and they were both laughing as if it were the funniest thing in the world. They are such pigs that they don't flush the toilet after they pee or poo. That is disgusting. They don't even close the toilet lid.
Max has the tendency to drink from the toilet. He's a cat and doesn't know the difference between toilet water and his water dish. But he certainly knows better, because when I walk by he takes off like a bat out of hell. But Sheila and Dan do, and I have asked them several times not to leave the toilet lid up. I think it's more of a lazy thing for them, not to mention a stupidity thing.
|I have some kind of lung infection. I keep coughing up green chunky phlegm. It's just a tiny bit at a time. I don't have trouble with breathing or anything like that. It only happens a couple times a day. It must be something with my allergies to where it irritated my lungs just enough to develop into an infection. Everytime I go outside, my nose gets congested and then it will get all runny. Other than that I feel fine. Allergies are the only culprit that I can think of. I am allergic to 5 different kinds of mold spores, dust, and to a mild extent, dogs. I also have problems with some flowering trees and freshly cut grass. It sucks.
|Well, it looks like they are going to do a triple bypass within the next two days on my Uncle Craig, despite the fact that he has pneumonia, high blood pressure, and high blood sugar. There is a high probability that he will die in surgery because of the pneumonia, and possibly bleed out because of his blood pressure problem. I am so worried about him! He is such a good man. He supported me, my dad, and my mom for awhile when I was a baby. All I can do is say a prayer for him and hope like crazy that he makes it.
|I come home to find the chain lock on the door latched, so I had to yell all kinds of obscenities and ring the door bell and pound on the door several time to wake Dan up. I knew that it wasn't Sheila that had locked me out, because she was working the later shift. When Dan finally woke up, he came out and opened the door for me. Who the hell locks the chain lock when they know that other people are coming home? Sheesh! After I set my stuff down in my room, I come out into the kitchen and found dirty dishes all over the place. Now I know for a fact when I left that there weren't that many dishes dirtied up. Dan was definately a pig while Sheila and I were gone.
|It did rain, but not as much as I hope it would. I was also hoping for a kick-ass thunderstorm, but didn't get that either. Maybe some other time. All of the thunderstorms that we have had, have been kind of wimpy this year. I like to see how loud the thunder can get with out lightning ruining appliances and computers of course.
|I didn't get that job with the mortgage company. I am not bothered by it. The testing went as well as I thought it did. The questions were stupid, and I mean stupid as in they were off the wall questions that no one would know. Plus, I didn't sleep well the night before, so my brain was mush. I should've just canceled the appointment and rescheduled when my brain would be in better shape. I knew this was going to happen. I know that I am smarter than that. I guess my next step is to go down to that temp office first thing on Monday. I am not letting this get me down. It just wasn't meant to be. Oh well.
|I am tired of this drought. We haven't had a good solid day of rain in a very long time. It's depressing. Plus I love thunderstorms! I like to see how loud the thunder can get. It's just now starting to sprinkle, but that's probably all that it will do. That's been the typical weather pattern the past couple weeks here, maybe more than that. I just want to have a good soaking rain to get the ground wet so the flowers and things won't die.
|It seems like no matter how much I try to explain myself, I just dig myself a deeper hole. I, like everyone else, has dating preferrences. I have that right to choose whom I want to date.
I won't date men that are in their 40's. Only a certain number of people understand why. I have several reasons for this. One of them is being that if I had parents, they would also be in their 40's. Another belief of mine is that they are just looking for a young piece of ass because they are going through a midlife-crisis. Most of them don't want to commit. The majority of any man that has gone through a divorce, doesn't want to commit and they just want a "Friends with Benefits" package. I don't do that, and it isn't me. I would truly hate myself.
I won't date someone who smokes or does drugs. To me it's just plain nasty, and I get sick when exposed to that anyway. Plus, I don't like someone who has that smell on them, and I won't kiss someone who smells and tastes like an ashtray.
The religious aspect doesn't bother me all that much, as long as they aren't Aethiests, Jehovas Witness, Mormon, Scientologist, Satanist or some other weird cult thing to where they try and brainwash me into their beliefs. I happen to be Christian, but I don't try and sway people to my side. I don't feel that it's my job or my place to tell people who or what they can worship. I don't really like talking about religion, because it stirs up too much controversy. I tend to keep to myself about my own religion.
Politics are another thing that I can't stand. I don't like either political side. I don't like getting into heated political discussions. I would rather just stay out of it, and watch everyone else kill each other. I am very anti-political. Politics gives me a headache. I probably won't even vote this year. I am so digusted with the candidates on all sides. I don't care if the person I date is Democratic, Republican, Independent, or whatever. I just don't want to get into a fight over something so stupid.
I tend to stick with dating people in my own race. That doesn't make me a racist, it's more of a cultural preferrence. I have that right like everyone else. It makes me angry when I get accused of being racist or prejudiced because I won't date a certain type of person. I embrace people of all skin colors, creeds, sizes, cultures, etc., but that doesn't mean that I have to date them to prove something to someone else. I have dated outside of my race before. I have dated a Malaysian at one time, and an Arabic at a different period in my life. I had a good time with these individuals, and they were good people. Just because I am not attracted to someone, doesn't mean that they are unattractive. To say that is silly. I am overweight, and just because someone doesn't want to date me because of that, doesn't mean that I am going to be offended by it or even care. This is because people are attracted to certain kinds of people. That doesn't make them bad. It just means that they know what they want.
I know that this blog entry is going to piss some people off. But it's my right to choose what I want out of life. Like everyone else, I am a human being, and I have likes and dislikes, and personal preferrences. I will not shut up. It is my right to voice my opinion and have a choice in life.