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Take a look into the world as I see it. |
Size: 700 Entries
Created: February 7th, 2007 at 11:14pm
Modified: June 22nd, 2008 at 4:27pm
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Blog header made by my good friend ~*~Damiana Returned~*~ 
"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."
---Edgar Allan Poe
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Traditional Gemini Traits
Adaptable and versatile
Communicative and witty
Intellectual and eloquent
Youthful and lively
On the dark side....
Nervous and tense
Superficial and inconsistent
Cunning and inquisitive
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| Turning 30 last year didn't freak me out as much as I thought it would, but turning 31 seems more weird to me than turning 30 did. I don't know why. Maybe because I am a year closer to hitting the big 4-0. Not that turning 40 would be bad. Aging is scary no matter how you look at it, or no matter how old you will be. But as the old saying goes, "You're only as old as you feel." I think there's much more to it than just that. I feel the same as I did when I was a teenager, despite the brain surgery from a year and a half ago. Another plus is that I still look like a teenager. Which makes me timeless, I guess. People tell me that I look 10-15 years younger than my actual age. People even tell me that I look younger than two of my younger sisters. That also makes me feel at ease about getting older. So for the most part, I am not all that worried about getting older. |
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Whenever something major happens to my body, my uterus does weird things. Like back in 2006 when I had those seizures from the brain tumor, it let out a little blood. Then a few days ago when I had that heatstroke, it did the same thing. Why would my lady parts be affected for? It's weird. I am still feeling the effects from a few days ago. I hope this passes soon. Whenever I go out in the heat, I get an upset stomache and a headache, even if it's for a few seconds.  Heatstrokes suck. |
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My grandpa grows some of the most beautiful flowers every year. Everyone admires them. This year, it's been a tough start for grandpa. Squirrels have been gnawing down his Salvias, 21 of them to be exact. Grandpa has replaced all of those that have been chewed down. One day grandpa saw a squirrel halfway up a pine tree in the backyard and shot the squirrel down in one shot with an air gun. The squirrel fell down to the ground, scurried to the next tree and got halfway up, but then fell down dead. Sorry, darkin.  I feel bad for the squirrel, but at the same time I can't blame grandpa for doing what he did the other day because the squirrels are costing him a lot of money. I am kind of torn inbetween justice for grandpa and justice for the squirrels. Grandpa told me that since he took out the one squirrel, the other squirrels haven't been around to mess with his flowers. Then just yesterday he shot a rabbit with the air gun. The rabbit died instantly. Rabbits have a tendency to eat grandpa's flowers that are from the carrot family. I am an animal lover, but at the same time I can understand why grandpa did what he did. |
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I really need to finish this blog. I am getting tired of it. My goal is still to have this finished by the time my birthday rolls around. Which means I have to write as often as I can and write about every stupid thing that I can think of, LOL. I have enjoyed writing in this blog, but at the same time I will be glad to put it out of its misery.  |
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I still feel cruddy.  Sheila thinks that I may have had a mild heatstroke the other day. I explained the symptoms to her like how my skin had turned all red, which is a classic symptom of heatstroke. The redness was not a sunburn. I still feel weak and sick. I hope this passes soon. I think I might have to take today off as well. I am not sure if it's safe to go out and walk yet. My muscles are still cramping up. The pain comes and goes. |
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Okay, I like Dan and everything, but in recent weeks, I have found him to be a complete slob. I come home yesterday, thinking that out of the goodness of his heart that he would do the dishes. I was so wrong. He doesn't pay any of the rent or other bills, yet he takes showers, sleeps, eats, watches television, uses the internet & phone, and makes huge messes and doesn't clean them up!  Even though he says that he's moving out next Friday, I don't know if I can take another week of this shit. I mean, is it asking too much for him to do the dishes and clean up after himself? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sheila is supposed to move out too, but I don't know if I trust her on that either. I can't take having roommates anymore. One is always inconsiderate of the other's feelings. If they all aren't out by the end of next week, I will willingly and gladly check myself into a psychiatric ward, where they can wait at the front door and put me in a straight-jacket in a white padded room. I am extremely close to going off the deep-end! |
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| I don't know how they got my phone number, but this mortgage company keeps calling for Sheila and repeatedly I have told them that this is not Sheila's phone and even gave them her cell phone. They are trying to solicit business. But they keep calling asking for her anyway. They called today just before I left, and I answered "hello", and they just sat there for several seconds without saying anything. I then got extremely rude and told them if their company didn't stop calling my number, that I would sue them. Then the lady asks for Sheila. I told her that this is not Sheila's phone, stop calling. She says, "sorry" and then hangs up. This happened two other days this this week, and I keep telling them the same thing each time they call. These bastards have called everday 2-3 times a day. Talk about a bunch of morons. I am serious about suing if I even see that they have even called again for whatever reason. Thank God for caller ID. |
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| I am still feeling icky from yesterday. I am not even that thirsty, more tired than anything else. I am trying to drink more water, but it gets boring. My muscles cramp up whenever I try to walk upstairs or do anything to even lift my legs up. I am still having headaches. I didn't sleep very well lastnight, which probably contributes to my slow recovery. I am taking the day off from walking. I think that's the smartest thing I could do for myself. I still plan on going to the store to pick up cleaning supplies and a few other things for the apartment. Plus I get paid next Friday, it won't be much, but every little bit counts. |
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| My Uncle Craig was supposed to be released from the hospital lastnight but had another attack before he went home, possibly a heart attack. They said if he was at home, this attack would've killed him for sure. He has to remain in the hospital for at least the weekend. He is also having problems with his kidneys. I am very worried. Grandpa has been through so much losing my dad, and then my grandma's brother Bob who grandpa was longtime friends with. I don't know how this is going to affect grandpa losing another family member. |
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| I did something really crazy yesterday. Not good crazy either. I went out on my usual 2 hour walk yesterday, in a black hooded sweatshirt in 90 degree weather. It's also the stupidest thing that I have ever done. Because, my body overheated and I nearly passed out. I thought maybe if I could sweat a great deal I could burn a lot more calories and drop more weight. This is probably true, but I shouldn't have done that. When I got back to grandma's yesterday, I went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and my face was bright red. I thought that it was sunburn. It wasn't. After about 45 minutes the redness went completely away. Then I started to get a headache and feel woozy. Then later on that evening, I started to develop muscle cramps all throughout my body, very uncomfortable. Then the headache got a little worse, then nausea set in. My stomache was a total wreck, and I developed major heartburn. I stayed up until 1 am because I was afraid to go to sleep. I was really scared that something terrible would happen to me if I went to sleep. I eventually drifted off. I am going to take today off and try and recover from my stupidity yesterday. The two dipshits that I live with, decided to turn the A/C off in the middle of the night, and I sweat my ass off again. I hate it when I wake up and my tshirt is soaked in sweat because some asshole decided to turn the A/C off in 80-90 degree weather! |
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Life just seems to never work out the way I want it to. Sheila and Dan won't be able to move out until next weekend.......because Dan won't get his money until next week. I guess those are circumstances that can't be helped. *sigh* At least one of my wishes came true this week, the Red Wings won, so I should at least be happy about that. I even told Sheila that I would help her pack.  |
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| Television, or should I say, the quality of televison shows has gone to hell on recent years. First it's all of these reality bullshit shows, and now CBS is bringing this new show to television called "Swingtown". Okay, I consider myself open-minded for the most part. But when it comes to relationships such as engagements or marriage, I am not very open-minded. Why would CBS want to promote sleaze like this? I think that's more of HBO's style. My ex bf Jerry suggested threesomes and swinging a few times, and I freaked out about it, and told him "absolutely not". That's gross. Then he got all pissed off. He is one of those sexually and mentally unstable people. Which is something that I don't need in my life. Back on the subject. From seeing this new advertisement for a swing show on CBS, I know now that television has gone way downhill. It's tasteless and raunchy to show this on tv. I can't understand how CBS can sink to this level. What if kids see this and think that it's okay? I guess I have better morals and ideas than a lot of people do. |
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| It is now 11:30pm and guess who's still up? Yep, that's right........Jazlyn. I don't know why they allow Jazlyn to stay up so late. Can you imagine what it's going to be like when she starts school? I am glad that I am not her mom, lol. Sheila will be kicking herself later. |
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| Jazlyn's screaming decibels. God, she shrieks like a banshee. I have a splitting headache today, no thanks to her. I wish I had a bottle of Excederin around right now. Sheesh! |
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Just as I thought. The dvd player took a dump in the middle of the movie, so I get to watch the hockey game now! Heehee!  |
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Why is it that men prefer blondes over brunettes? Or red-heads over brunettes? This has always puzzled me. I am a natural brunette like my father. Maybe this why I can't get a guy. Is this the reason why I get overlooked? Just because of my hair color. I am tired of being told by men that I should dye my hair blonde. I just want to sock the next person in the eye who says that to me. I have tried going blonde before, and it never works out. My hair will go black, red, and any other color that you can think of, but never blonde. It doesn't look right either. I have never been the kind of girl to judge a man by his hair color in order to date him. Even with eye color, I don't judge, lol. Although, I must admit that I love staring into a pair of hot blue eyes.  Heehee. |
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| My premium membership runs out in the middle of next month. I am so scared that I won't have the money on time to keep it going, and then I will end up losing my photo albums and everything else that requires a premium membership. What to do. What to do. What to do. |
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| I can't shake off this poetic rut that I am going through. It stinks big time. Maybe I need a new outlet to spark my creativity, or a new muse. I need to write some new material. This is probably why I am not getting that many reviews, is because I haven't written anything lately. I feel like I am slipping. |
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