by Solitary Man
I write, therefore I am
I write, therefore I am.|
I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.
|Behold, do you see me? Do you remember who I am?
Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been 2 years, 347 days since my last confession. You know my story up to a point father. You know of my heartbreak, my depression, my pain, my attempts to handle it, but allow me to tell you some more.
Not long after my last entry I had a dream, and as some of you may remember I hold stock in dreams. In my dream Dee came to me and said that she was ready to be serious and wanted me to share her life. I smiled and want to pat her on the head like you would a petulant child. I told her, I don't need you anymore; I turned and walked away without looking back. I have rarely thought of her since. Shortly after something miraculous happened.
Someone once told me they hoped I had a happy ending, I told them that there are no happy endings.
Who has egg on their face now?
It's been almost five years since I put my life story to BLOG, but those of you who remember me and my story, may recall my regaling you about the first girl I had a crush on. Little Ann Marie. She of long red hair and freckles, running and giggling in a white dress that was more my imagination, than fact.
I met up with her again, not more than a few weeks after my last BLOG entry. We started dating not long after. I am now a father to three children not my own, and she is my fiancé. She knows my past and the pain I've suffered, but she accepts me as I am, flaws and all. And really isn't that what love is? She is my other half. Our wedding is planned for sometime in October.
I have moved from Virginia to North Carolina.
Our birthdays are eight days apart. For her birthday I surprised her with a bed and breakfast weekend in Asheville, NC. We have a five bedroom suite and the entire third floor to ourselves. On Saturday we had a private bluegrass concert. Before the concert we visited the Biltmore and I proposed to her in the garden.
Our oldest is 19 and starting his second year of college. The next will be 18 in a few days and soon starting her first year of college. I dote on her and am fiercely protective of her. She is my baby girl. The youngest is 12, he's a handful. We have two dogs.
I haven't suffered from a bout of depression in almost three years. Ann seems to be in tune with my feelings and on days that are cloudy for me, no matter how much the sun shines outside. She seems to know, and makes me talk about it. I feel like she is what I've been searching for my whole life. She is the happiness that I've missed. When I tell her that I wish I had found her when I was going through my darkest times, she just smiles and says, but then we wouldn't have now. She is so smart.
I still write from time to time and I am looking to do so more now. I am getting ready to start college, all at the age of almost 40. lol. Ann stands behind me and tells me that everything is okay now, I can write, I do have talent, and I have a story to tell, I just have to find it.
She is my angel and I place her on a pedestal above all others.
I changed my handle back to SolitaryMan, so that I can look at that name and remember my past issues. I don't want to repeat them.
The moral of the story is, yes Virginia there is love out there. In time it will find you.
May my words have found you with happiness in your own life. I hope most of you are still here. I'm sure we will speak again. It's good to be home.
|I have to say today has been like a full time job. I created a MySpace page for my website ( http://www.myspace.com/popcultureasylum ) so I could network with some of the independent companies and creators. At the moment my friends list is almost 40 with almost 80 pending. The kewl thing is that a few of the creators are almost as excited about the website as I am. I've been offered interviews, artwork and pretty much whatever is needed to help eachother out. To get the site's name out there as well as to get their comic books known.
The only thing is I lost track of time and I think I spent almost eight hours networking. My how time flies.
5 - Bridge to Terabithia - 2006 - Family
Bridge to Terabithia is based on a young adults novel from the early seventies or late sixties. The movie is very well done without getting to heavy handed with death or fantasy. Well worth sitting down with some hot buttered popcorn and watching. Just bring plenty of napkins.
|It has been no secret from anyone who has read my BLOG that I have battled against depression since I was twelve. It something that comes and goes and often appears at the most unoppurtune of moments. It has been quite a few months now that the depression has not reared it's ugly head. I'm sure it will resurface but at the moment I am enjoying the fact that I am depression free. It's amazing the differance it makes.
Anyway more companies have added me to their mailing lists and a few of them are even mailing me preview copies of their comics for review for the site. Today I started emailing all of the gaming companies to get them added to the site. I hope they work out as well as the comic companies have.
On to the movies;
4 - Yojimbo - 1961 - Martial Arts
This film bt acclaimed director Akiro Kirosawa is reportedly based on the Dashell Hammett novel Red Harvest. The movie has inturn inspired a few movies; Clint Eastwoods "A Few Dollars More" and Bruce Willis' "Last Man Standing".
The movie stars frequent Kirosawa actor Toshirô Mifune. Mifune plays a ronin who wanders into a small town and over time manages to turn to rival gangs against eachother, playing both sides against the other, until the climactic battle at the end.
Yojimbo is not as good as Seven Samurai, nor is it as long with Samurai coming in at near three hours. Both movies, like many of Kirosawa's movies have greatly influenced western cinema. Once you see Yojimbo check out the Eastwood and WIllis movie to see the similarities and "directly stolen" scenes in both movies.
|Seven is a magic number, and today I heard back from a record seven comic companies. Most of which will not only send me news, but will also provide creators for interviews. That's just great news and it is forcing me to stop dickering around and get the html code done so the site can get published. This is really going much better than I expected it to go.
When I get the site up I will post a link here so's everyone can see the fruit of my labors. lol.
So I've done Noir and Mystery/Thriller today I will post something up for my buddy TOR. I think this is a movie he would really enjoy.
3 - Open Range - 2003 - Western
This is one of the little movies that could. Kevin Costner struggled for years, with production company after production company backing out and paying for most of the movie with his own money, before the film was finally finished. It has wonderful performances from Costner, Robert Duvall, Annette Benning and in his final role before passing away from Cancer, character actor Micheal Jeter.
Costner and Duval play "freegrangers" who are passing through the pasture country near a small town that doesn't look kindly on their profession. After attacking one of their hands in town and locking him up, the two men go in search of him. Costner plays a role that he normally doesn't play, much like in Noir movies, he is the anti-hero. There are things in his past that he is not proud of.
A great movie with wonderful dialogue, great performances and a realistic portrayal of the old west, much like that of Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven.
If anyone has a category they would like to see a movie posted for let me know and I will see what I can come up with.
|It's been real peaceful today. I got a few more comic companies lined up to the website. I'm kind of worried that things are going so well. lol.
That's really all I have to say about that, so we will movie on to Movie number 2
2. Memento - 2000 - Mystery/Thriller
This is a great movie with awesome performances by Guy Pierce, Joe Pantoliano, and Carrie-Anne Moss. The story is told forward and backward ending in the middle of the story. Sound a bit confusing doesn't it. I'll try to simplify it a bit. All of the scenes in color are telling the story in reverse, from the end of the story backward. The black and white scenes are telling the story in the correct order, from the begining of the story.
Guy Pierce plays the main role in the movie. His character has a memory loss problem, he can only remember things for five or ten minutes at a time, so he writes everything down, takes pictures of people and writes notes on the back of them, and even goes to the extreme of tatooing clues to finding his wifes killer on his body. He is trying to find the person who murdered his wife. Joe Pantoliano plays his friend who is helping him find the killer. Carrie-Anne Moss is a woman using Guy Pierce's character for her own means.
I know this sounds confusing and it can be unless you pay a lot of attention to what is happening. The end of the movie (middle of the story) is awesome and telling alot about Pierce's character. It's a strange premise for a movie, but well handled.
|Sometimes things are just awesome. I am hearing back from more and more of the independent comic companies now. At first I wasn't getting much of a response for the site, but after I changed tactics and mentioned that we would be focusing more on the Independent Comics than the mainstream Marvel and DC the response has picked up greatly. A few companies have even gotten a mail address to send me free preview copies of comics for review on the site. Now, incase you don't know, that frikkin rocks.
The comic side of things are going smooth, now if the gaming side of it would pick up that would be great. The kewl thing is another friend of mine works for an online gaming magazine that will be starting up soon. We are discussing posting one or two reviews from their site on my site with a link back to them. Not all their reviews, just one or two every week, or month depending on how many "issues" they do a month. So that's cool.
On top of everything else, I've had this idea for a Noir style story. I tried it with my Werewolf story, but it didn't quite fit. I have the beginning of the story with the detective awakening after being hit on the head and knocked unconscious, when he wakes up the woman who came to him for help is dead. The story would be about him finding her killer and of course getting in over his head. The problem is I am not happy with the start, it doesn't feel right. Maybe I need to just write through it and come back to fix it later, who knows.
I think I will start something new here in Casa De Solitary. With the AFI top 100 movies coming out soon, I thought I would list my own TOP 100 movies 1 movie at a time and in no particular order. I see alot of movies and I will try to only list the movies that need to be seen. I will list the movie, release year and category, then review I guess. First up.......
1. Brick - 2005 - Noir
I categorized this movie as Noir, even though most sites and lists put it as Neo Noir, or New Noir. That's bull, this movie is classic Noir. Moody direction and lighting, classic femme fatale, anti-hero, the Police man threatening to take him in (in this case the Asst. Principal), the thug, the beatings, the dialogue.
This is a true homage to Noir, taking place in a high school. Gordon Joseph Levitt plays a school outsider trying to find out what happened to his ex-girlfriend and he gets pulled into the shady side of things with drugs and kingpins. Excellent movie with great 1940's style dialogue, at first you have to listen closely until you get used to the speed of the reporte and the older slang terms.
If you love the classic Noir Movies like Out of the Past and Double Indemnity and Maltese Falcon this is a great movie to check out.
|It's true I swear it. Someone keeps taking my time. I turn around and another day or two has passed. I don't understand it. It seems that all my days are swallowed up with my website, PopCultureAsylum.com, (shameless plug no.1), and it's not even up and running yet. Jeez, how is it going to be when I get PopCultureAsylum.com (shameless plug no.2) up and going. I will have no more freetime.
I mean look how time flies, it seems like just yesterday that I stumbled onto the world of Writing.com and I am quickly coming up on my second birfday. Although I have been a bit negligent of my portfolio this past year, WDC is never far from my heart, nor are the friends I have made here. Hopefully once things calm down a bit I will be able to appear a bit more frequently. Here's hopin, Good Lord Willing, and the Creek Don't Rise.
See around the ol' homestead.
|Next time I have a brilliant idea shot me.
I've heard back from a few more comic companies, mostly independent smaller companies. I've come to them with the reasoning that I would like to focus a good deal more on the independent comics out there than the comics from the "Big Two" companies. That seems to be bringing a better response from companies.
I've approached a few people about writing deck strategies for Magic and World of Warcraft card games. I've even talked with a guy about atricles for Hero Clicks, and he directed me to someone else.
Things seem to be going along smoothly. Now I just have to force myself to stick with it. Hero Con is just a few short weeks away and I have a lot of things to do to get ready. My business cards are on order and I am working on a "business statement" letter to give to writers and artists as well as any companies that might be at the convention.
It's a big undertaking and there are moments when I just feel swamped and almost pulled under in the muck and the mire, but I made my bed and all that jazz. Me and my bright ideas...........
Neither do I, baby, but if I have to die, I'm gonna die last.
Jeff Markum - Robert Mitchum Out of the Past (film noir at it's best.)
|There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. I've been spending alot of time working on my new website; trying to find a good template, but most likely I will write my own HTML. Trying to decide on a forum, maybe I should have a blog set-up, chat room. Decisions, decisions.
I've been in tough with a few comic companies about recieving issues for review as well as news and possible interviews with talent. The website will most likely be up just after Father's Day. The annual HeroCon in Charlotte, North Carlonina is that weekend and I will be attending with business cards in tow to talk to writers, artists, and company people about my site. I'm hoping that by the time I go to the convention I will have a few more comic companies on board and I will have my advertising rates ironed out.
I've decided to pull back from everything Pop Culture and just start out focused on Comic Books and Card Games. As things pick up speed, I will branch slowly into other Pop Culture fields.
I just have to make myself stay on top of things, but for right now there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day.......
Oh yeah, by the way, if anyone here reads comics or plays card games, mainly Magic or Warcraft drop me a line if you would be interested in writing reviews for comics or strategy/deck articles for card games let me know. I can't pay you anything, but I can use all the help I can get.