“It’s definitely big,” Dave smirked as he fluffed his giant cans. “But who is this?”
“I think you know…Mrs. Claus,” the voice dripping with smugness.
“Santa?” Dave asked in hushed whispers.
“You know it gorgeous,” Santa guffawed. Dave cat down on the couch, and despite being ensconced in a magical fat suit, http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vV5jUtzCFJU/Ti... he had a hard time believing Santa Claus was real and he was currently kind of hitting on him. “So you’re probably wondering what you’re doing as a hot, fat chick, huh?”
“A little,” Dave answered truthfully. He fluffed his giant cans again.
“Well, as Santa Claus, (which I’m sure you guessed who I really was,) I know when some one is awake, I know when they are sleeping, I kind of know everything.”
“Does this naughty and nice vision help with that?” Dave fluffed his big cans.
“You know it,” Santa laughed again. “So knowing Kelly ordered a costume for you, I kind of substituted her costume for mine. Sue me. I need a Mrs. Claus to keep Christmas running smooth.”
Dave fluffed his cans, “Could I sue you?”
“No, I’m a metaphysical idea given form. And stop playing with your cans. It’s distracting.”
“How did you know I was playing with my cans?” Dave asked alarmed, barely able to fluff his cans.
“I see everything remember?”
“Oh yeah,” Dave went to fluff his cans, but thought better of it. Then he fluffed his cans. “So you want me to be your Mrs. Claus?”
“I want you to try it out for a little while, see if you like it. And if you do then you come be my Mrs. Claus. If not I try someone else.”
“Okay,” Dave continued to fluff his cans.
“Oh and Dave? Don’t let anybody else where the suit you understand? Not even Kelly.”
“Got it,” Dave assured Santa and hung up the phone to fluff his cans.
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