Hello very thankful. After reading "Will You Be Mine or Go Away?" , I would like to offer you your third review of nine. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
A poem that depicts a sinful love affair with a person who is committed to another.
MY FAVORITE PART
You are so very taken
love we shouldn't be makin'
SUGGESTIONS
can we save our souls
Consider placing a question mark at the end of this line.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Even though I am strictly against adultery, on any level, I enjoyed reading this. The rhyme was very nice and made for a pleasant reading experience. Thank you for sharing this with us all!
Hello SHERRI GIBSON. After reading "THE DARK" , I would like to offer you your first review of five. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
Ohhhh!! A very spooky Halloween tale! This is awesome and I have a couple of favorite lines!!
MY FAVORITE PART
Afraid of the dark now, the children flee,
no longer caring about getting candy.
Sharp talons snake out to grab a child,
the face of the creature demonic and wild.
SUGGESTIONS
Not a suggestion one could stand to improve this piece that kept me on the edge of my seat!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Honestly, I believe this to be one of the very best Halloween poems I have read this year. I realize I am almost a month late in reading this particular themed piece, but never would have been too late. I love the awesome imagery that your perfectly chosen words paint. Thank you for sharing this scary delight!!
Hello very thankful. After reading "The Night" , I would like to offer you your second review of nine. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
Review of
The Night (18+) Kenny Cochran finds out about the nightlife in Deacon, Mississippi. #1615338 by very thankful
A very eerie tale of stopping in the wrong town for the night!
MY FAVORITE PART
"A Sleeping Human? What kind of drink's that?"
SUGGESTIONS
"Sure, be glad to," replied the short raven-haired lady.
Consider placing a comma directly after "short".
The rest of the restroom
"rest" and "restroom" kinda threw me a bit. Consider changing "rest" to "remaining" or something similar.
"Who's this, darlin'?"
I would capitalize "darlin'" since it is being used as the proper name. I would also check the rest of the story for very similar occurrences.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Wow! This story grabbed my attention and kept it all the way to the end. I am assuming the "H" stood for Hell; could be wrong though. Thank you for sharing this creepy story about the nightlife in Deacon, MS. I enjoyed reading it very much!!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Emily Dickinson Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
I just love blogs! Especially when they are as enjoyable to read as yours is!!
MY FAVORITE PART
Thanks to Nanowrimo, the first draft of the novel that's been outlined for eighteen months now is finally making its (computer) screen debut. The draft is rough
SUGGESTIONS
The only suggestion I have is to keep entertaining us with this blog!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I could have chosen from half a zillion items in your port to offer you a review, but I am more than glad that I chose your blog. As I have said several times over the past week, your writing style is perfect for my taste. I can follow along as if I were right there talking to you in person - that's what it's all about! Thank you for sharing all these pieces of you with us and keep up all the great work!!!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Emily Dickinson Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Review of
Dream With Me (E) I found myself in a racist conversation, and was shocked at the backward opinions I heard #1435948 by NickiD89
A splendid piece that conveys the message of racism in a very powerful manner.
MY FAVORITE PART
The years of mirrored point of view,
In bigot pulpit’s pious pew,
Reverse the progress we have made --
Oppress our people; retrograde.
SUGGESTIONS
I am pleased to say that I have not one suggestion to offer this magnificent piece!!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
This should be showcased all across our nation. Living in the South, I see, hear, experience and live this type of attitude on a frequent basis. I really thought we had grown up and had moved on from all the hatred and ignorant separation. I can only hope that our children don't grow up the same way "we" did. Thank you for such an awesome and heartfelt write! You ROCK!!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
A contest haven for lovers and writers of dark poetry. I love the image prompts and suspect they would bring in tons of creatively horrific poetic tales! The prizes offered are very much an incentive for prospective entrants. Thank you for hosting an activity that is sure to spark some imaginative and scary writes!
SUGGESTIONS
My only suggestion would be to make sure this is listed on the main Contest page so it will be successful each month (you may already have done this, so please disregard if it does not apply). With as many dark fans that are here at WDC, this should prove to be a top notch contest.
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Emily Dickinson Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Another brilliant and extremely entertaining story! Again, I couldn't pull myself away and was sorry when it was over.
MY FAVORITE PART
She ogled the sheen of each melted chocolate morsel. Her eyelids drooped and her pulse quickened as she indulged in the fantasy of shoving a whole cookie into her mouth at once, thrilling her senses with the sweet goodness, not caring if it smeared on her lips or stuck to the roof of her mouth.
SUGGESTIONS
I found no sign of any typo's or any technical errors! BRAVO!!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
You really should consider, if you haven't already, writing a novel. You have great ideas that are very intriguing for any reader. I believe it's safe for me to speak on behalf of most, if not all, of your readers that we would like for the stories to keep going. I could really see me propped up in my bed flipping pages of one of your books! Thank you again, for sharing your talent with us all. This is what it's all about, my friend!!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Emily Dickinson Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Review of
Stopgap (18+) Watch out for people who always have a plan .... and a 'tell.' Short Shots May '09 #1559283 by NickiD89
A very entertaining and action-packed short story which contains several different morals. Brilliant write!
MY FAVORITE PART
Officers with side arms aimed advanced from three sides. Van slowly raised his hands. As he was led past, Van mumbled, “What’s this stopgap called?”
SUGGESTIONS
She reached the car and he went in to pay
This sentence is missing a period.
At the man’s side a small boy Van guessed was about four years old shuffled his feet.
Consider placing a comma after "side".
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Nicki, you certainly aren't kidding when you mention that short stories are your thing! Your writing style is out of this world incredible and the imagery your words produce are extraordinary. I couldn't pull myself away from this story or your talent. This is awesome and I want you to know that you are my newest Author of the Week and will be spotlighted on my web page! Thank you for sharing your mesmerizing skill with us all!
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon. After reading "Dare To Be" , I would like to offer you a review on behalf of the "Invalid Item" . Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
Review of
Dare To Be (E) A poem for my daughter... a prayer for all young women. #1614487 by 🌕 HuntersMoon
An exceptional and endearing message to your daughter. The words contained in this piece are heartfelt, inspirational, and wise.
MY FAVORITE PART
And in the end, a woman grown
from the seeds that you have sown.
So choose your seeds with greatest care
and meet the challenge, if you dare
to become a woman, proud and whole
who reflects the beauty in her soul.
SUGGESTIONS
Sorry, I don't have one single suggestion to offer!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I am left to wonder how old your daughter is right now, to ponder which stage of blossoming she is in. I am certain this poem has touched her soul deeply and hope she is able to take each sentiment to heart while she travels her life's journey. This is a must read for any person, be it mother, father, sister, friend. Thank you for sharing yet another piece of you with us, Ken! You are such a splendid poet and an even better man!
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the Emily Bronte! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
I can't see my screen. This has to be one of the most heart breaking, gut wrenching, and yet, inspirational writes I have read in the two years I have been a member of WDC. I am so sorry for your loss. At the same time, I am very happy about all the blessings Lora bestowed upon you.
MY FAVORITE PART
I cannot and will not pick just one part of this fantastic story. The entire thing, every single word, is my favorite part.
SUGGESTIONS
None whatsoever.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I know how difficult, no, no I don't. I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to pour this out on paper (or screen). I do know without a doubt that it brought you some relief from the grief in a therapeutic manner. I am also certain that you have received many supportive reviews from an abundance of our fellow members. Although I am heart broken at this moment, I am very glad I read this and would like to ask your permission to include this on my web page under Faves from Faves. Thank you for sharing this huge piece of you with us and may Lora live in all our hearts forever.
Thank you for entering the contest where a story had to be created from the image given.
I have a couple of small suggestions:
The only normal-sized thing was her black eyes which looked like enormous liquid dark moons on her tiny face.
Would it be more correct if it were worded as such: "... things were her black eyes..."? Also, I would put commas between "enormous" and "liquid".
"But father I will still love the puppy.
Should "father" be capitalized?
tried to lick Willows’ mouth
Should Willows' in fact be Willow's?
Willow said as she smiled and whipped her mouth off with the back of her hand.
I think "whipped" should be "wiped".
“My daughter Willow has done this to honor Poca
I think "Willow" should be set off with commas.
I loved the plot of this story and think you did a fabulous job with the given picture! Since there were less than five entries in the contest, only first place will be awarded. I will be making my decision momentarily after I complete one more review. I want to thank you again for entering the contest and wish you the best of luck!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Wow! What a strange topic for a write!! I was definitely enthralled throughout the read!
MY FAVORITE PART
So you want to know
About “Bad Romance”?
Hah! Let me tell
you all about one.
Bad Romance isn't
When your boyfriend
leaves you or
Your girlfriend says
So long, I got another guy.
SUGGESTIONS
I would consider changing the capitalization for the first words of the lines. If they are a continuation from the previous line, I would make them lower case. I realize this is poetry and does not have to follow any rules of proper punctuation and grammar, but I think it would make it smoother for the reader.
You're no good to us your friends
Should there be a comma after "us"?
OVERALL IMPRESSION
The message contained within this piece is not one that is typically written about, which I love and commend! I was taken in by the subject matter and found myself wondering what it would be like to be lost in love with a ghost, or spirit, or whatever form of afterlife that could "come along"! Thank you for sharing this with us all! Keep up the great work.
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Sylvia Plath Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Review of
Freedom Song (E) A short poem about a horse, written for a contest entry. #1610768 by Danielle
"Freedom Song" is a nice write about the life of a horse. This is a strong piece that puts the reader directly in line with the horse and his/her needs and desires.
MY FAVORITE PART
I brush you to tip
Yet you only ponder
The fields of happy
In wilds of summer
SUGGESTIONS
Your coats sleek
I would consider changing "coats" to "coat's"
I think that some use of punctuation throughout this piece would allow the reader to pause in places to absorb the message and meaning of most of the lines.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
This is somewhat of a sad piece that depicts the constraint of freedom. However, the end is good as it does provide the freedom the horse is in need of and deserves. Thank you for sharing this piece with us all and keep up the great work!
Geez! What a mysterious and spooky tale that had quite a different type of surprise ending!
MY FAVORITE PART
“Up your nose with a rubber hose,” Kevin responded, quickly retreating into the safe confines of the bus.
SUGGESTIONS
Consider leaving a blank line between paragraphs, making it easier to read.
There are a few places where attention should be paid in regards to proper punctuation usage; mainly commas.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I really enjoyed the unique twist which involved a Native American. I appreciate the message delivered as I am a firm believer in respecting all living animals. Thank you for sharing this and for participating in the contest. Cissy and I both wish you the very best of luck!!
A great story in the spirit of Halloween! I love that it can be enjoyed by readers of all ages.
MY FAVORITE PART
“No way! Wit no head he’d be dead.”
“Ghosts ARE dead!”
SUGGESTIONS
As there are no errors present in this short story and it is very well written, I have no suggestions to offer!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
It is easy to see why your granddaughter likes this! I truly enjoyed the spooky suspense in the cemetery! Those darn cats! I would have run like crazy too!! Thank you for participating in the contest. Cissy and I both appreciate it very much and we both wish you the best of luck!
Now this is what I'm talking about!!!! This is perfect, perfect, perfect!! Scary, gory, and comical all mixed into one!
MY FAVORITE PART
I’d pick my nose to pluck the dirt, but my finger I cannot find,
there’s a stupid root from a stupid tree, growing through my cold behind.
SUGGESTIONS
I praise the lord
Should "praise" be "pray"?
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I mean to tell ya that I absolutely love this piece! As I mentioned before, this is packed full of all things Hallow's Eve with a huge round of comedy too! I am still sitting here with a silly grin on my face. The same one I had the entire time I read! This was a very pleasant and entertaining read!! I recommend it to ALL! Thank you so much for entering the contest. Cissy and I both appreciate your participation and we both wish you the very best of luck. Keep writing, my friend!!
Ohhh, what a frightening poetic tale that perfectly describes a scary night out trick or treating!
MY FAVORITE PART
Blood-fanged vampires come out of caskets,
their goal to have a feast;
No candy filling Halloween treaters baskets;
they are just victuals for the beasts.
SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestion to offer!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Sherri, you did very well to invoke a spooky aura for me while I read! The perfect choice of words came alive and put me right in the mix of a frightful Hallow's Eve. This should be enough to scare the daylights out of all the cute little kids in costumes! Thank you so much for entering the contest. Cissy and I both appreciate it very much and wish you the best of luck!
Hello kiyasama. After reading "Rocking It Old Skool" , I would like to offer you your fourth review of five. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
This is awesome!!! I sure wish I knew about this sooner. Especially back in my "rant" days. I feel like I would have been listened to had I made my voice be heard here!
MY FAVORITE PART
The entire thing! The setup, the banner (I am a monkey fanatic!), the concept, the entire thing!
SUGGESTIONS
On the elector college:
I would consider changing this to "electoral".
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Yet again, I have learned more about you. When I first visited your port, I discovered you grew up in South Africa, which is so cool to me! Now, I know you live somewhere in the States. I enjoyed reading the thoughts, ideas and opinions of those who have participated in this interactive web page, whether I completely agreed with all of them or not. I am very open-minded and love hearing and learning the perspectives of others. This is awesome and I thank you for offering us all such a place to discuss real life events that matter.
Hello Mark C ~ 9 years on WDC!. After reading "POEMS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP" , I would like to offer you your final review (7 of 7) I hope you have enjoyed receiving them as much as I have enjoyed giving them! Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
A fabulous folder that contains the material that makes my heart sing!
MY FAVORITE PART
Every single item that is housed within this folder as well as the sentiment behind each and every one!
SUGGESTIONS
MORE!! I WANT MORE!!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
You and I have had the opportunity to discuss friendship and the awesome feelings that are part of those that we hold very near and dear to us. Although there are a lot of important aspects to living a happy life, we couldn't do so without the friendships that you have written about. As I have told you before, numerous times, you are such a doll! I love your personality - how it shines so bright for us all to marvel in. You are a Godsend for so many. Don't ever stop being you!!!
Hello Lani1961. After reading "Gun to the Head" , I would like to offer you a review on behalf of the "Invalid Item" . Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
This is an extremely well written piece that describes the author's view on religion. It touches on some very good and thought provoking aspects that we should all take time to ponder. Granted, each of us will derive at our own view point, and for most, that view point will be based on what works for each individual personally.
MY FAVORITE PART
We don’t need to live according to a legalistic code to realize that the only thing we can leave behind us is the effect we have on other people. How well we raise our kids, and the effect we have on other people. We spend so much time trying to “serve” in the churches, and running around to activities that won’t make a damn bit of difference in the end, when we should be focusing on making our time count with our kids.
SUGGESTIONS
I have absolutely no suggestions to offer. There are no technical errors anywhere in this piece. It is structured perfectly and is written so the reader can follow along easily.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I am glad to have discovered this piece and commend you for putting it out for everyone to read. Please keep up the awesome work!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Robert Frost Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
I love this! Not only do I admire your poetic talent, I respect your stance on the message contained within this piece.
MY FAVORITE PART
As bending friends cry, they lay their man to die.
A nameless soul to those, for whom the war exposed,
No feeling of remorse, just heightened public discourse.
SUGGESTIONS
its not as if they came.
Consider changing "its" to "it's" since it is a contraction of "it is".
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I am very impressed by your talent and wish that you could somehow transport just a tiny sliver of it over to my hand. This is being marked as one of my faves! Thank you so much for sharing it with us all and please do keep up the awesome work!
Hello, cazzbie! I am Kristi and am helping Hannah ♫♥♫ judge the In & Outs created by the Paper Doll Gang Newbies.
Please accept this review as a friendly gesture from one writer to another.
Being a person who truly enjoys creating my own "self proclaimed famous" quotes, I really like the idea you had for this particular In & Out. I hope you don't mind that I used one of my own rather than one from a famous person. Who knows? Maybe after this In and Out I won't have to remain "self proclaimed famous"!!!
Thank you for completing this challenge and for sharing it with us all. Keep up the great work!
Please accept this review as a friendly gesture from one writer to another. Keep any suggestions you may find useful and discard any you don't!
Colors are a major aspect of our individual self expression, as well as our moods. I love learning what each color represents and how using it/them can bring about positive results for things we seek. I just recently learned that pink is used to get what you want. I put this to the test one evening at a local department store. My mother was wearing a bright pink T-shirt and I informed her of what I had just read about the color. My mother, being the odd one that she is, approached several people and told them she wanted money. She was very serious in her tone. Not a one of them even acknowledged her!! I was in hysterics. I assume we were missing a crucial part somewhere!
Anyway, this is a very good idea for an In & Out. I enjoyed reading all the submissions as well as offering my own. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing this with us!
Kristi Love
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