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1,559 Public Reviews Given
2,107 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.
I'm good at...
Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.
Favorite Genres
Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.
I will not review...
Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.
Public Reviews
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Review of Beachcombing  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Beachcombing" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



This is a very moving and rather dark poem. The imagery in this is excellent, from descriptions of the shore and its treasures to the more emotional side of what you're feeling. The anticipation is set up early on this poem and many questions are placed to the mat for the reader to ponder. My only concern is with the punctuation, as it seemed like most of the lines had commas (which seems appropriate) but some were left without commas were I was expecting them. Overall, I felt this was an excellent poem and I look forward to more of your work. Keep up the great job!



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Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "The Hunter's Daughter" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



This is a very eerie poem. I feel like there is a strong undertone in this poem that makes it rather creepy. So of course I love it. *Heart* - My only thought is to perhaps use full punctuation within the piece. In a couple of places you use a comma, but in other places I feel it's needed but not there. Also, you don't end anything with a period, so to me it felt like a long run on sentence. With some work, I think you could definitely fix this up easily. Thank you for sharing it with us today, I enjoyed this read very much.



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Review of Death Among Us  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Death Among Us" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



This is a very sad poem. I sort of expected the ending, but it didn't change the overall affect it had on me. In the fifth stanza from the end, you need to capitalize "I" but other than that I did not see any errors. For a free-verse, I felt this flowed pretty well. A couple of lines were longer, like She's full of pain, misery, and despair but that can easily be fixed by splitting it into an extra line. Since you don't have any particular pattern to your stanzas I don't think this should be much of a problem. My only other suggestion on this is to perhaps add some punctuation at the end of all the lines, to help better with the flow. Overall, this was a sad but worthwhile read. Thank you for sharing it with us.



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Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "You Beat Him Up For Me?" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.


I found this to be a cute short story. I like how you set us up in the beginning, giving us enough background on each character to feel like we could sympathize with them. The story seems to be about high school romance and reminds so many of us that sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side. With a bit of work (grammar, punctuation) I feel like this piece could be improved. Overall, it was an enjoyable read. Thank you very much for sharing it with us.



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Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Thanks for nothing" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.


This is an interesting short poem. It turns from sounding somewhat grateful, to sound bitter and depressed. The end was packed with a punch that sent a clear message to the readers. I could find nothing technically wrong with this piece, but I think the reason why it has such a previous low rating is because one, it's very short, and two it's highly cliched. Being on this site, we see hundreds of broken-hearted poems. When I started reading this, I was reminded of at least a dozen almost word for word similar to yours. I'm not saying you copied anyone, at all. It was just predictable. Overall, it was still an enjoyable read, and as I said I couldn't spot any errors. Keep writing!



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Review of Death Am I.  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Death Am I." 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I like the title, but not the period at the end. This poem is pretty dreary and dark, but that's not an insult in the least, I like 'em that way. I like the questions that you posed within this piece, it made me, the reader, think and keep reading. The best part, I think, was the last stanza. After all that build-up, I liked the packed punch at the end. Overall, I'm really glad I decided to read this. Thank you very much for sharing it with us, I look forward to reading more from you of this nature.



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Review of Warning Prayer  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Warning Prayer" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



As I read this, it almost seemed like a sad song in my head. I like you did a good job with a light rhyming sequence and the flow seemed to be even throughout the whole piece. I like how you posed a lot of questions, which got me, the reader, thinking. My only thought to improve this piece would to be to add some form of punctuation. You can easily start with adding the question marks after each question and going from there. Overall, I felt this was a good read. Thank you for sharing it with us.


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Review of Dream World  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Dream World" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I'll be honest, a lot of this was confusing. But since it's depicting a crazy dream, perhaps it's meant to be and shouldn't make sense. I felt the imagery was still really great, from the thick paint and jagged tyrant, to the icky description of organs shutting down. My only criticism to you with this is to keep an eye on proper capitalization, spelling, and punctuation. Other then that, I'm glad I clicked on this today. Thank you very much for sharing it with us, I look forward to more of your poetry. Write on!



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409
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Never Take The Green Ones" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.


Yikes, was this a true story? Some people can be so rude. That being said though, I sympathize with the character (you) in this story. Our convenience store is much the same way, with children running around and theft is a daily thing there. I don't think it was intentional, but I sort of chuckled at the end statement you made. What we go through to get the simplest pleasures in life sometime. Overall, I am really glad I read this. Thank you for sharing it with us, keep up the great work!



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Review of To My Heart  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "To My Heart" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I know this poem definitely came from the heart, but while I was reading it I couldn't help but spot several errors that detracted from the overall feel of the poem. My suggestion to you is to keep a keen eye out for punctuation and proper capitalization. That being said, this was a powerful piece without the errors. I think you did a good job with imagery, with words such as suffered, misguided, fake pleasures and natured turned to grief. Keep up writing!



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Review of Away  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Away" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



The first thing that stuck out to me with this poem was the gentle repetition of some of the words. Such as, you can't just leave, broken, and walk away. I thought you did a good job transitioning this, and I particularly liked your use of dialog. Overall, I felt this was a good short read and thank you for sharing it with us. I can offer no room for improvement. Keep up the excellent work!



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Review of Rapture  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Rapture" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



Wow, this was pretty dark, so of course I love it. I really liked your word choice and imagery in this. Some of the words that stuck out to me while reading were: melting snow, razor lips, blood so runny, and subtle beauty. Stanza four felt a bit morbidly humorous to me, but appropriate still. Overall, I highly enjoyed this rather dark, short poetry read. Thank you very much for sharing it with us, I look forward to reading more from you in the future!



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Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Angels Fly Home In June" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



The first thing I noticed about your poem was the imperfect rhyme. You may think this is a bad thing, but I found it to actually be quite good. Some of them were a stretch, but yet they still fit nicely and smoothed together this great poem. I think this could be because you weren't going for an actual couplet poem. Either way, I liked it a lot. June is one of the hottest months here, and being that we were just finished with it I feel I can relate to some of the imagery within your poem. (Shelter myself in solitude.) Overall, I'm very glad I read it and thank you very much for sharing it with us. Keep writing!



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Review of How Things are  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "How Things are" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I think the title for this is appropriate, but to me I feel like are should also be capitalized. Overall, I feel this is a very powerful poem. I think you are dead right when it comes to young girls trying so hard to be outstanding figures, all the while killing themselves inside and forgetting how to truly live. In the third stanza down, I found it clever how you use parenthesis mixed in with the poem and I thought you did it well. I cannot find any room for improvement, but I do think it would be interesting if you tried expanding this more. Thank you for the realistic poem, keep writing!



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Review of The Gateway  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "The Gateway" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



Alison, all I can say is to keep going introspective. I felt your poem here was very insightful and got me, the reader, thinking many things. I liked your word choice, from stricken with regret, to stubbornly hopeful, down to calm urgency. I think the structure was great and there was no place where I felt it was at all awkward or difficult to read. Overall, I felt this poem had great imagery. Thank you for sharing this with us today. Keep up the excellent writing!



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Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "The Corporate Rapper" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



Christopher, wow! This was not what I was expecting when I realized this would be a song that I was reading. I think you did a great job with putting this together. What I liked best, I think, is the actual rhyming. A lot of songs do this, but a lot don't. I personally like that you have. The use of changing words around in slang is great, especially with 'fulfilla'. Overall, I found this to be an amusing and worthwhile read. Thank you for sharing it with us, write on!



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Review of Comfort  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Comfort" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I'm not sure if this is about a long distance relationship, or merely the tension of waiting for someone to come home. Either way, I felt it depicted tension and anxiety very well. How your whole world is centered around the happiness of a lover, a soul mate, a good friend. I think the structure of this poem was great and I like the couplet-rhyming: phone/alone, tears/fears, wait/abate, eyes/rise, etc. Overall, I felt this was a good, short, worthwhile read. Thank you for sharing it with us today and keep up the writing!



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Review of Mr.Bunny  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Mr.Bunny" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I like this title, but I do think there needs to be a space between Mr. and Bunny. The thing that I liked best about it was that all ages can read this. It has a cute rhyme, which you did an impeccable job on, and flows extremely well. After reading it, I can find no other room for improvement other than my suggestion on the title. The end made me smile, as Mr. Bunny gave his thanks and went along his way. Overall, this is an excellent children's poem. Thank you very much for sharing it with us, keep up the great work!


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Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Home Is Where You Park It" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I like the title of this poem and I think it's fitting to the piece. The imagery in this was great, I felt, from the ugly square box, to the windows like eggshells, cabinets, buckets, mops and brooms. I didn't feel like you overloaded this with a lot of fanciful empty words, great job there. My favorite stanza was the fourth up from the end, with the cabinets being wiped and crumbling to shredded wheat. I think we all go through something like this when we move into our first beat-down cheap apartment, or into a fixer-up home that needs a lot of work. Overall, I enjoyed this read and I think you did a good job. Keep up the writing!



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Review of The Empty Bed  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "The Empty Bed" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I was a little surprised to see this, when I clicked on poetry. To me, this felt more like a prose. However, that being said, I still think you could split this up into a more poem like state. Just take your sentences, and split them into twos or threes. As far as the content goes, I found it really eerie and sad. I cannot imagine losing someone dear to you, a soul mate. Overall, I felt this was really good, despite not being what I had though it'd be. Keep up the excellent work, I hope to see more from you soon!



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Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "The Changes of a Year " 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



The purple on pink with the text coloring here is ace. The only part in this entire thing that I wasn't sure I understood was "When people go away and their memories are sweft" - What's 'sweft'? Other then that, I could find nothing else wrong with it technicality wise. I like how each line had a meaning and how in the very center of the poem one line is split between the two colors. Overall, I enjoyed this read. Thank you very much for sharing it with us and keep up the great work!



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Review of Lie To Me  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Lie To Me" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I really liked this poem! I loved your word usage: colloquial poet, Einstein of common, Pied Piper, sweet lies and all the rest. The imagery was absolutely spectacular. My favorite line out of them all would have to be line 7, 'Falling from arched lips' - Overall, I can find absolutely no room for improvement. Keep up the excellent work, I expect we'll be seeing more great things from you.



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Review by Riot
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Today was the day." 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



I like the title, but I feel it should be properly capitalized and the period should be removed. I found the plot of this poem to be great, a birthday. I like the enthusiasm that was felt through this piece. The imagery was really great as well. Overall, I highly enjoyed this poem and I can find no room for improvement. Thank you for sharing it with us and keep up the great job!



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424
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Review by Riot
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "The Height Of Sorrow" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.


Title/Plot: The title fits the plot well. I cannot think of any suggestions to better it. For the plot, I think you did a good job with build up and driving a point home at the end.

Style & Voice: I think your style and voice is clear here. I have a few suggestions, which can be found under technical.

Characters: Your characters were especially good in this piece. I liked how you used your dialogue, and liked the build up from the beginning.

Technical:
*Bullet* hiccoughs while correct in most terms is still commonly referred to as hiccups. - You actually use both forms in the story, I would change it to just one.
*Bullet* maneouver should be maneuver
*Bullet* defences should be defenses
*Bullet* revelled should be reveled
*Bullet* apologise should be apologize
*Bullet* recognisable should be recognizable
*Bullet* favourite should be favorite
*Exclaim* Of course, with the last three, I guess it's debatable.
*Bullet* I'm not sure what an accouncher is.
*Bullet* You're missing a double quote at the end of 'but that her husband shall never have...'
*Exclaim* Keep an eye on punctuation at the end of dialogue.
For example: "Natalie Burns – 1712 onwards" it proclaimed. needs a comma after onwards.

*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt this was a pretty good piece and enjoyed the read. I'm not sure if it's really my cup of tea, in all honesty, but I still think you did a great job with it. Thanks for sharing it with us. *Heart*



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425
425
Review by Riot
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot . This review is in response to your entry "Just Two Lips and Half a Brain" 

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.


Title/Plot: I wasn't sure about the title at first, but after reading the piece in its entirety I think you made a good choice. The plot was well established and well thought out.

Style & Voice: Your style and voice is clear throughout this piece. I especially like how you incorporated the use of good dialogue between people and their unique way of speaking (slang) added to the reality.

Scene/Setting: This is a good setting. You didn't spend an overly large amount of time describing things, but it also wasn't needed. The brief mentions of Tulips destruction was quite enough to paint a mental picture of where they were.

Characters: The fact that you didn't solely focus on one person and one person alone was very pleasant. We got to see Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Jenny, you, Tulips and Pup. Excellent job!

Technical:
*Bullet* Second paragraph, first sentence, seems to be a bit of a run on.
*Bullet* everafter should be two words: ever after
*Bullet* Is diamante a brand? If so I think it needs to be capitalized.
*Bullet* You upto to Nuthin' good? - The upto/to part here is awkward and confusing. I realize it's dialogue and likely slang, but it seems (to me) like it's a bit overkill.
*Bullet* ...her mother belonging to a friend of his... - belonging to seems off to me here. Maybe 'belonged to'?
*Bullet* half a brain, again, may be slang. But half of a brain seems more understandable.
*Bullet* Beware, chewing habits are injurious to health". - Did you mean for the period to be outside the double quotes?
*Bullet* ...I wore 'girl clothes', I liked to dazzle. - I think the comma needs to come before the quote after girl clothes, as well as further down with accidents.
*Bullet* Needless to say is wordy and needs a comma after it. You could use something like Clearly, instead. The same is true for all of these which could be just all these. So by the end, re-written, it could be: Clearly, all these were not deemed...
*Bullet* accompanied by should be used with people, not objects. Suggested change: accompanied with.
*Bullet* but instead of chocolate on tan, he had dark black socks and markings of fawn; - I think that he had the dark black socks would sound better. 'he had dark black' in the context you've used it seems awkward to me.


*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall Opinion: Overall I felt this was a very touching story. Thank you for sharing it with us and keep up the excellent work.



*Heart**Heart**Heart* I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item" ! *Heart**Heart**Heart*

*Snow3**Snow2**Snow1* Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"  and pick up your unique signature today! *Snow1**Snow2**Snow3*



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