*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/riot/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14
Review Requests: OFF
1,559 Public Reviews Given
2,107 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.
I'm good at...
Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.
Favorite Genres
Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.
I will not review...
Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 10 11 12 13 -14- 15 16 17 18 19 ... Next
326
326
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello, JudyB . I am reviewing your item "The Immature Brain of a Child on behalf of Simply Positive. Below are my thoughts on your work. *Heart*

Firstly, I want to commend you on the casualness of this trip down memory lane. Often times we try and play up what really happened and censor our feelings on it now. That, or we try and make ourselves out to be more "mature" than we really were at the time. I think it's important to recognize that we all start somewhere (as a child) and need to grow from personal experiences. "Why do we fall?" comes to mind. The answer is, "So we can learn to pick ourselves back up again."

There were a few things I noticed while reading this rather amusing share:

*Note* Except for dates, numbers should be spelled out for easier reading and better absorption. I believe the rule is if the number is over ten to write it out. So 16 would be sixteen and 20 would be twenty.

*Note* You begin by introducing your past as a child then switch casualties by mentioning kid, then switch once again to child. Someone once told me that using the term kid was informal and separated the difference between amature writing and professional writing. While I agree on many levels I think it's depended on the writing. In this case, I think kid works because of the context you're using it in. I'm merely pointing out that you switch back and forth interchangeably.

*Note* The use of exclamation marks is always a good thing, but I think that one is suffice, in this readers humble opinion. Maybe, for extra emphases, two. Four stretches it in my opinion.

*Note* "now that was..." should be properly capitalized.

*Note* I appreciate the sentiments behind numbering the incidences, however as it reads in storytelling mode I think it could do without them. As it stands, it feels like a list. This may have been your intention, but again, I felt the urge to point it out from a different perspective.

Overall, a worthwhile read. Thank you for sharing it with us. *Heart*


327
327
Review of Sky Flowers  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn't take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by stacylynn71. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Robert Frost Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello again, 🌕 HuntersMoon !

I am reviewing "Sky Flowers - Below are my thoughts on your work.

Wow, I really love the image at the top! Those colors are just beautiful. While this poem was short, I really found it beautiful! My favorite line in it was the very center line, an amazing bouquet, in a new guise, because I felt that it said so much!

Overall, I felt that you did a great job with descriptions and imagery. Great read, Ken! *Heart*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
328
328
Review of Dark Music  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn't take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by stacylynn71. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Robert Frost Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello there, 🌕 HuntersMoon !

I am reviewing "Dark Music - Below are my thoughts on your work.

Oooh, Ken, I really like this! As you probably know I'm big into dark and vampire poetry but in all honesty this is just really great! I am glad you included the notes at the end to explain what this was about. I think it's a great thing that having read it twice I couldn't tell you what was missing but that it was about vampires. That to me is really excellent.

The structure that you've based this poem on is masterful. I love how you've done a/b/a/b/c/c/d/d/c - After reading and re-reading this I'm really tempted to up and write one myself. Some of the things that really struck me as I read this poem:

*Bullet* A pulse, like music in the night,
*Bullet* to seek the source, to darkly feed.
*Bullet* echoes a lovelorn heart.

Overall, an excellent read. Thank you for sharing! It's always a pleasure, Ken! *Heart*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
329
329
Review of The Last Bridge  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn't take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by stacylynn71. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Robert Frost Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello there, 🌕 HuntersMoon !

I am reviewing "The Last Bridge - Below are my thoughts on your work.

Ken, this is a very lovely poem. The image at the top really helps set the mood of the poem but in the end your words and the imagery within them are what made this poem remarkable.

What I like best about this was the repeating line at the path's end, the final span, and how it works its way down each line of the poem until the very end. I think the magical number of 8 syllables is a good one and was utilized very well. It's clear that you put a lot of time, effort and thought into this because I wasn't able to find any 'straggler' words. That is, I felt each word and phrase you used was perfect in itself and uncluttered.

Overall, a delightful read. Thank you so much for sharing it with us! *Heart*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
330
330
Review of Crayola  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn't take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by stacylynn71. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Robert Frost Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello there, Dave !

I am reviewing "Crayola - Below are my thoughts on your work.

I really liked this poem. The smooth transitions from the couplets to the refrain line at the end of each of the stanzas is really attractive. What I liked best about this poem was the imagery that was abound in each of the stanzas.

Some lines I liked in particular:
*Bullet* and the redolent honeysuckle cape
*Bullet* through a round of colorful interactions
*Bullet* bringing a very welcome infusion / of lifeblood required for the soul's repair. *Heart*

Overall, I highly enjoyed this poem. It lifted my spirits and despite being with the holiday cheer, made me look forward to the less dreary time of year. Thank you for sharing!



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
331
331
Review of Noble Sacrifice  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
After people have repeated a phrase a great number of times, they begin to realize it has meaning and may even be true.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by 🌕 HuntersMoon . *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the H.G. Wells Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Heyas, Hyperiongate !

I am reviewing "Noble Sacrifice - Below are my thoughts on your work.

I believe that in all my stay on Writing.Com that I've only ever written one fifty-five worder. A lot of people think that it's easy at a first glance but I know from other friends writing them and attempting it myself just how difficult it can be.

While I read through several of your entries, I found this one quite interesting. I think that it's titled appropriately given its context.

Overall, a very good set of reads. Thank you so much for sharing all these! *Heart*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
332
332
Review of Bloggishness  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
After people have repeated a phrase a great number of times, they begin to realize it has meaning and may even be true.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by 🌕 HuntersMoon . *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the H.G. Wells Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello again, Hyperiongate !

I am reviewing "Bloggishness - Below are my thoughts on your work.

I think it's great when anybody blogs, especially on a site such as this. I think that a lot of people don't realize the real value behind writing about ones life. We do this in stories and poems, why not in a blog or journal format?

I read through some of your entries. I'll have to come back for more. The main point of me dropping a note here, is because I'd like to see more!

A lot of people on the site really deck their blogs out and for some its their only real source of personalization. I noticed you had an image of you and your dog in your portfolio... I think this would be a great spot about it! Also, tell us a bit more about yourself. You're already doing so by recounting things in your blog. *Smile*

Overall, great job! I hope to see more from you soon! *Heart*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
333
333
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
After people have repeated a phrase a great number of times, they begin to realize it has meaning and may even be true.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by 🌕 HuntersMoon . *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the H.G. Wells Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello there, Hyperiongate !

I am reviewing "How To Write Good Flash Fiction - Below are my thoughts on your work.

Firstly, I just want to point out that I think this is an extremely well written article. In the beginning you say that you are not a great writer but I disagree. What makes somebody a good writer, anyways? I think good writers come in all fashions and are subjective to their readers. I, personally, think you are a good writer. Take that as you will!

I think the points you bring up in this article are good and informative. They are through provoking and made me reflect on my own stories. I think this is excellent.

Overall, a worthwhile read to any flash fiction writer on the site. Thank you for sharing it with us! *Heart*





** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
334
334
Review of No Choice.  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello there, Oceandweller . You have recently submitted your item "No Choice. into "Invalid Item. I have been asked by stacylynn71 to help judge this round. Below is my review of your submission.

The Contest Rules
As a reminder of the rules, you may place your mouse over "The Contest Rules" text. A pop-up will appear on your screen explaining the criteria I will be judging you on.



As I read this couplet, a few things came immediately to my attention. Below are my thoughts.

*Bullet* No Choice. as a title is properly capitalized, but a period at the end is not needed. A title is not the same as a sentence.
*Bullet* The repeating lines of If I could choose is good and the ending switch around was clever and well placed.
*Bullet* Every stanza until the sixth has a second line that is 6 syllables. It then changes to 7. When read aloud, this changes the pace just slightly. You may want to look this over and evaluate if you'd like to keep it this way or alter it to flow the same.
*Bullet* The only line that seemed awkward to me was I would see nature unfurled - In the context of the poem I'm unsure of its relevance.

Overall, I thought this was an interesting read that got me thinking. I see that it's marked as an emotional personal experience. Obviously you've put some feeling into this and I wish you the best of luck if you ever decide to alter it. Thank you for sharing! *Thumbsup*




Write On!
Riot
335
335
Review of You always knew.  
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello there, Oceandweller . You have recently submitted your item "You always knew. into "Invalid Item. I have been asked by stacylynn71 to help judge this round. Below is my review of your submission.

The Contest Rules
As a reminder of the rules, you may place your mouse over "The Contest Rules" text. A pop-up will appear on your screen explaining the criteria I will be judging you on.



As I read through your poem, there were a few minor things I noticed.

*Bullet*The title You always knew. should be You Always Knew - Capitalization is important in titles and punctuation at the end is not needed, except in rare cases of ellipses, question marks and exclamation marks.
*Bullet* Clearly your couples were in a syllabic count of 7/7 - except in stanza 6 it breaks all the flow you've had in previous stanzas with a syllabic count of 6/8.
*Bullet* In stanza 7 it's 6/6. I'm not sure if this is important to you but it was noticeable. It veers from the form of the previous stanzas but I got the feeling it was because the poem was winding to a close.
*Bullet* The last stanza is 7/8 in syllabic count. This is something you'll have to decide if you want to change.

Overall, I think this is a sweet and thought provoking poem about the one you love. *Thumbsup*




Write On!
Riot
336
336
Review of Little Creek  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello there, Uruku . You have recently submitted your item "Little Creek into "Invalid Item. I have been asked by stacylynn71 to help judge this round. Below is my review of your submission.

The Contest Rules
As a reminder of the rules, you may place your mouse over "The Contest Rules" text. A pop-up will appear on your screen explaining the criteria I will be judging you on.



Another free-verse, I think this poem is an interesting perspectual poem that depicts the life of a creek. When reading this poem after seeing the title and caption, it was clear what this poem was about. What I like best about this is how it clearly is about a creek but the words used to describe the life of the creek are also very basic in depicting life in general of humans. Very neat! *Thumbsup*

My suggestion for you on this second entry would be the same thing I stated in my last review. Since you're writing free-verse poetry, you don't really need to focus on exacting punctuation and capitalization like you would in a short story or structured formed poetry. I think that the theme of this poem overrides the need for punctuation at the end of every single line. In fact, I almost wonder how this would read if there was none.

Overall, this was a really great read. It reminds me a lot of human nature and has left me thinking about the deeper meaning behind this poem. Excellent job. *Heart*




Write On!
Riot
337
337
Review of Unfinished  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello there, Uruku . You have recently submitted your item "Unfinished into "Invalid Item. I have been asked by stacylynn71 to help judge this round. Below is my review of your submission.

The Contest Rules
As a reminder of the rules, you may place your mouse over "The Contest Rules" text. A pop-up will appear on your screen explaining the criteria I will be judging you on.



Firstly, I want to say congratulations on 9 years with your wife! That's really awesome!

The sentiments behind this poem are very sweet. I could not detect any particular patterns with rhyme, structure or syllabic count but that's not to say that it needed it.

My only concern is the use of commas at the end of every single line except for a few. I assume that this is where you feel 'the sentence should end' but often times I've found it doesn't work that way in poetry. The alternating capitalizations of each line also threw me off.

*Bullet* You've help me to see, - If you're going to capitalize every single line, that's great and fine. If you're going to capitalize it because of a grammatical issue (like it's not a new 'sentence') then You've does not need its capitalization.

*Exclaim* I like how you've put in senses into this poem for added feeling and imagery. Wind, Touch, Shadow - all very good in their context.

I did find some of the phrases used within this poem to be a bit 'standard' (as in, I've seen them a lot in poetry) but again, because it's a personal romantic poem and written off pure feelings for the one that you love, it's hard to critique. If you were to re-write this I would suggest re-working these lines:

*Bullet* there is no description or way to put into words - I disagree. You have done a lovely job at this in the poem!
*Bullet* Without you I am unfinished, - Sweet, touching, but overused.
*Bullet* You complete me. - Jerry Maguire ruined this phrase for me, unfortunately. *Frown*

Overall, a very worthwhile read. Thank you for sharing it with us and keep up the great work! *Heart*




Write On!
Riot
338
338
Review of Adriana A to Z!  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
A serious writer is not to be confounded with a solemn writer. A serious writer may be a hawk or a buzzard or even a popinjay, but a solemn writer is always a bloody owl.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by kiyasama. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Ernest Hemingway Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello again, Mara ♣ McBain !

I am reviewing "Adriana A to Z! - Below are my thoughts on your work.

I think this is a lovely "tribute" to your best friend and sister on the site. I had a great time reading through this alphabet acrostic-like piece on the very many sides to Adriana. (B made me laugh out loud, amongst a couple others that I see on a glance.)

Angel Buddy is a really great network for friends and pairing up people to become future friends. I think this is a great example of the type of friendships that can be encouraged through programs like this.

The subcategories in S was pretty amusing, as well. *Laugh*

Overall, this is funny. Yet, as a reader, I can take a small glimpse at your friendship together and smile. Thank you for sharing it with us! *Heart*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
339
339
Review of Mara's Musings  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
A serious writer is not to be confounded with a solemn writer. A serious writer may be a hawk or a buzzard or even a popinjay, but a solemn writer is always a bloody owl.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by kiyasama. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Ernest Hemingway Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello there, Mara ♣ McBain !

I am reviewing "Mara's Musings - Below are my thoughts.

Firstly, I just want to say, that I'd like you to post more frequently! I know that last time you posted was of joyous occasion (finishing Nano) but even still, reading through your past entries it's clear that you're a very talented writer. Even if it is "just" posting about your daily life endeavors. *Smile*

I really love the images that you've used in this journal. The angel in black and white at the very top speaks volumes and I think that it's very important to personal things of this nature, which it seems you have.

I like how you update about everything. I saw one post a few down that was a simple but thought provoking quote. *Thumbsup*

Overall, really great blog! As I said before, I wish you'd update it more. I'll have to take a peek in on this from time to time and see what all you've added!



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
340
340
Review of Fire Flies  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello again, Lupus . You have recently submitted your item "Fire Flies into "Invalid Item. I have been asked by stacylynn71 to help judge this round. Below is my review of your submission.

The Contest Rules
As a reminder of the rules, you may place your mouse over "The Contest Rules" text. A pop-up will appear on your screen explaining the criteria I will be judging you on.




This short poem is a very good insight about one's possible journey to the next life. I found this poem to be very thought provoking in its own rights. The two stanzas, in my opinion, held enough context and excellent imagery to convey its overall meaning. Excellent job!

When reading this outloud, the last two lines to each stanza seem to be rhymed. It could be coincidence that the last two were, but having/passing feel close in nature. Because most of this seems free-verse, I don't think there's a lot of emphasis needed on making these exact rhymes.

To me, High does not need it's capitalization. Instead, I think that the beginning of each line should hold true to its needed capitalization based on the flow of the poem and its grammar. In poetry, it's not always necessary to punctuate the ends of lines or capitalize the beginnings, but in my opinion if you do one or the other you should take note of how you do it. For example, in the first two lines, you end line one with a comma and lead line two into the poem as part of its sentence, so I don't believe that "They" needs capitalization. Because you end line two in a period, line three should naturally be capitalized and so forth.

My only other thought would be to have the title be one word: Fireflies instead of two.

Overall, I thought this was an inspirational poem that held true to it's brief description. I think this is an excellent write that was very thought provoking and profound. *Thumbsup*




Write On!
Riot
341
341
Review of We are Angels  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello there, Lupus . You have recently submitted your item "We are Angels into "Invalid Item. I have been asked by stacylynn71 to help judge this round. Below is my review of your submission.

The Contest Rules
As a reminder of the rules, you may place your mouse over "The Contest Rules" text. A pop-up will appear on your screen explaining the criteria I will be judging you on.




I think that this is a very sweet poem about one person's view of the human spirit as a whole. How, as it so often is, heroes are in our daily lives, walking around in average lives making a difference in the world. It's such a shame that these wonders are taken for granted.

I think that this poem would be better presented in two or three shorter stanzas. The first five lines flow very smoothly, with a bit of a rhyme in there with poor/door. As I read on, I expected there to be another rhyme after off. Maybe what you could do, is add in a rhyming line with that one and have the last stanza be the couplet that it is.

Overall, I think this was a really great poem that everyone should read. Don't take the Angels around you and the Angel inside you for granted any longer. Excellent write. *Thumbsup*




Write On!
Riot
342
342
Review of Kindness  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello there, awordqueen . You have recently submitted your item "Kindness into "Invalid Item. I have been asked by stacylynn71 to help judge this round. Below is my review of your submission.

The Contest Rules
As a reminder of the rules, you may place your mouse over "The Contest Rules" text. A pop-up will appear on your screen explaining the criteria I will be judging you on.




I found this poem to be so lovely. I had to read it several times before I could snap my brain back into my reality. To me, I found this poem to be a wonderful read and true to its subject. I think that you have put a lot of time, effort and thought into this. I don't know if this is a personal experience, but part of me feels as if it is because of the way it was written. I think this is a very positive thing for your poem and something that a lot of poets strive to accomplish. For that, great job!

The way you wrote this had a distinct structure to it. Each of your stanzas began with a couplet and ended with a standalone line. To break down your poem for you, your syallabic count was as follows:

Stanza 1: 5/5/10
Stanza 2: 5/5/8
Stanza 3: 5/5/8
Stanza 4: 6/5/7
Stanza 5: 6/6/6
Stanza 6: 6/5/9

I point the syllables out to you, because while they don't always matter and are usually there out of personal preference, I feel that the beginning stanzas which were almost exactly the same flowed best from the tongue. I personally find that taking away syllables in a poem is often easier than adding them, because there are many "filler" words that we typically use that aren't always needed in poetry.

*Exclaim* For your poem, I personally like the 5/5/8 method you used in Stanza Two and Stanza Three.

One other thing I'd like to point out, is that there are two places where your true rhymes are slightly off.

1. desires/fires - This is actually a real rhyme but the reason I point it out is because all of your other couplets match in syllabic count. Because it's in Stanza Three, you could fix this by adding another word before it or by chosing another word that has the same meaning.

2. silence/kindness - Not a true match, but not all that distracting from the poem.

Overall, I felt this definitely a read-worthy piece that deserves recognition for what it is. Thank you for sharing it with us on the site, it's clear that you are a true poet at heart.





Write On!
Riot
343
343
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by very thankful . *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the T.S. Eliot Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Heyas, Just call me Omni - I decided to peek through your port some more this morning, and I came across a nook of a folder with a single item in it. Below are my thoughts on your comical poem, "Grow your manhood here? .

Firstly, I want to say that you have a nice use of italics here! I think that a lot of times when people do poetry, they forget the many different ways you can present your poem. What I like best about this, is how you seemingly tell a story in a commercial style setting. I think I can safely say, that I have never seen a poem like this before! *Smile*

Overall, I found this to be a very humorous read and worthy of it's second place win in the contest it was submitted into. (Maybe more, but I haven't read the first place winner. *Wink*)

Aside from being in the category "Erotica" (which I'm not sure about) - I think that this was a well written poem that made me chuckle outloud. Well done!



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
344
344
Review of The Lost Journeys  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame for winning "Invalid Item. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the EBB Love Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Heyas, once again, Euclid79 ! I am reviewing "The Lost Journeys - Below are my thoughts on your work.

This poem reminds me a lot of those that contemplate the past. The "what if's" that could have been, the things that never were. In the opening paragraph, I'm made to contemplate. I think this is very good, because it's only usually after a poem is complete that I really sit and feel the full effects of it. I was pleasantly surprised. *Smile*

I feel like there was supposed to be something "more" to this poem. I can't help but feel that Held her gaze a little longer... line was intended to be the centerpiece of the poem - and maybe it was. However, that being said, I found it remarkably insightful. The ending wraps around like the beginning, referring to the reminder of what may have been.

Overall, I think this was a pretty good poem. Thank you for sharing it! *Smile*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
345
345
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame for winning "Invalid Item. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the EBB Love Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hey again, Euclid79 ! While browsing your port I came across an older entry of yours, called "Ramblings of a Crazy Man.

Firstly, I just want to say that I'll agree with the "Nonsense" category that you've put on this poem! *Laugh*

At first when I read this through, I was trying to think of analogies that would fit the tree growing out of the writer's ear. Unfortunately, I was unable to. I think that it was intentionally written this way, to be a silly and comical aspect of the story. In fact, it really reminded me a lot of Dr. Seuess. I liked the story of the little ant. I think that you incorperated a vital and important message into that, hidden away by the silliness, that's very true.

Overall, this was a very silly and nonsense-riddled poem (as stated in the genres) but amidst the perplextion, it did make me smile. Thank you for sharing it with us! *Smile*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
346
346
Review of Sanctuary  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame for winning "Invalid Item. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the EBB Love Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello there, Euclid79 !

I am reviewing "Sanctuary - Below are my thoughts on your work.

I think this is a very good couplet. Not only have you followed true rhymes to each stanza, but you've also matched them up with their syllabic count spot on. As far as patterns and structures go, I did notice that in stanzas 2, 4, 6, 8 the lines start with the same two words. I think this is very clever and well thought out!

What I also like about your poem is that the previous stanza is a buildup to the next. Sometimes with poetry, even structured poetry, there is not a real set up, just flow from line to line. In your poem, I saw a lot more.

Overall, I thought this was a very good read. It gave me a lot to think about, something to ponder over my morning coffee. That is, I suppose, the sanctuary of my mind. Thank you for sharing. *Heart*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
347
347
Review of The Write Place  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by very thankful . *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the T.S. Eliot Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Heyas, Just call me Omni !

I am reviewing "The Write Place - Your guide to everything in your folder.

I was looking through your port, and saw under your guest book that you have a main folder to all the stuff in your port. When I clicked on it, I was greeted with an asthetically appealing banner to "The Write Stuff" and a welcome message. *Thumbsup*

I think that this folder is well organized and easy to navigate. The added colors and buttons make everything on your page pop out. I think it's a really good idea how you have all your activities listed at the top in one easy to navigate fashion. I also like how your folders are organized.

Overall, I think you've done a pretty good job at personalizing your port and I found it very inviting to those that may navigate it. *Smile*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
348
348
Review of Cold Torture  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

*Star* Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame by hefynicki. *Star*
*Kiss* Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the EBB Love Fan Package! *Kiss*
*Heart* The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members. *Heart*



Hello again, noellesce!

I am reviewing "Cold Torture - Below are my thoughts on your work.

All I can say is, "Yikes!" - I can definitely see how this won honorable mention in the Writer's Cramp for worst physical pain a character can experience. When I first started reading it, I had no idea where this story was going. Then, look out! There it was.

I really thought this was well written. The dialogue on the beginning, along with the build up from her best friend Kelly, really added to the story and helped me to sympathise with Francine, the main character. While I was suprised at the means of death for her husband, I still feel you had a lot of really good foreshadowing and prefigure. You introduced the murder weapons very early on and tied them in very nicely with the story. (Well, as nicely as you can considering she murdered him, heh.)

Overall, this was a good read. While it's rather... dark and kind of gave me the shivers, I found it to be well written and executed well. I couldn't find any flaws or errors in the entire document, though I do wonder a little bit if the phone conversation in the beginning should be split into more paragraphs. Keep up the excellent work! *Heart*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot
349
349
Review of Poetic Flow  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

This review is made on behalf of Simply Positive.
Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



piewhackett1,

Firstly, I'd like to say that I think it's wonderful that you've mastered such an art with putting words together, on a poem that's about poetry and flow. I really thought that it was a good read, however I did notice that there were a few parts that were very similar and repeatative. For instance, in Stanza Two, Line 1, You say The stanzas contain feelings from the heart and then in Stanza Three, Line 1, you say Each line is a part of feelings in the heart - While I appreciate the sentiments of both lines, I would suggest perhaps changing one of them to vary a little bit more, yet keep the same sentiments.

Overall, I felt this was a good and worthy read. I share your opinions on everything you've said. Excellent job. *Heart*




350
350
Review of Scream!  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

This review is made on behalf of Simply Positive.
Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.



StaiNed-House Targaryen ,

As you probably know, I am a big fan of darker poetry and writing. Not because I am a "dark" person myself, but because I can appreciate the value of purging emotions and those that recognize that we all have feelings of insecurities, hurt, and yearnings. I couldn't help but thinking, while reading this poem, that it almost sounds lyrical. I think that the elipses (which, in my opinion, is good at three dots) and the harsh breaks, along with the emphasized text, would really make a strong part if this were a song.

However, being that it is not a song, I think it is still a very good poem, especially for a free-verse. I didn't have any problems reading this as far as flow or rhythm was concerned. I have a hard time saying what my favorite part of this is, because it's all very good in its own right. However, the line I scream, shriek, till my lungs bleed really struck me as I read through this. I can only remember one time where I ever screamed so loud it felt like this.

Overall, I think this was executed really well. As an author, you successfully put me in a mind set of times where I myself have felt like this. It's not a comfortable place to be in, but I'm very impressed that you were able to evoke such an emotion from me.




617 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 25 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/riot/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14