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Review Requests: OFF
1,559 Public Reviews Given
2,107 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.
I'm good at...
Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.
Favorite Genres
Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.
I will not review...
Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 11 12 13 14 ... Next
201
201
Review of Poetry  
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just hitting you up with a folder rating. *Wink*
202
202
Review of Obituary  
Review by Riot
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
HAH! I wasn't expecting that ending! *Laugh*
203
203
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Congratulations on being able to use words/phrases to make a coherent story. *Wink*
204
204
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't know why I awarded this and never rated it. Fixing that now! *Bigsmile*
205
205
Review of Man vs. Metal  
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ripping muscles totally grosses me out, I don't know why that stuck out to me. In any event, here's a quicksie rating to a gal I love! *Heart*
206
206
Review of Totally at a Loss  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "Invalid Item"  *Vine2**Heart**Vine1*


Hello,

I didn't have the opportunity to write about my feelings on this last night when it was awarded, so here I am. *Wink*

Given the image prompt for this item, I think you did a remarkable job at portraying the imagery and frustration for the narrator trying to find her muse.

Although flash fiction, I think this was packed with wonderful imagery and word choice. I particularly found it funny how the sky became a hazed face when focus was lost on the image. The angry blobs nested in the hills, eating her soul and replacing them with gumdrops was simply hilarious! *Laugh*

Overall, I enjoyed this tremendously, and I'm so glad I was able to enjoy in your accomplishment for a snafu prompt last night. *Smile*


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
207
207
Review of Short Stories  
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just popping by for a quick rating on your folder. *Smile*
208
208
Review of Pop's Eulogy  
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Bigsmile*
209
209
Review by Riot
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Truthful, well written!
210
210
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (4.0)
Writing with certain keywords isn't always easy. Props to you!
211
211
Review of Suggestion Box  
Review by Riot
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
...another great forum deserving of a rating. *Smile*
212
212
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this group and everyone in it. I don't know why I didn't rate this before, but I am now! *Heart*
213
213
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Just popping by with a quick five star rating. *Bigsmile*
214
214
Review of Noticing Newbies  
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love this forum. Just stopping by really quick for a five star rating. *Bigsmile*
215
215
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*Balloonv*Happy WDC Anniversary from "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloonv*
*Magnify* I came across your work today through the Member Account Birthdays   page *Magnify*


Hello there,

Another poem with an excellent end. For a long while I was led to imagery not unlike that seen in Pepé Le Pew from The Looney Tunes Show. *Wink*

I think you told the story of the groundhog well here, and like the rest of the poems I've reviewed, it had a kicker. My favorite imagery is from stanzas four through six. Although probably not intended, I couldn't help but seeing a cartoon-like cupid flying by. *Laugh*

Overall, another excellent poem! *Bigsmile*


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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Also, be sure to check out these wonderful places!
"Newbie Help And Support Group" 
"The Talent Pond" 
"Retired Founder, Rising Stars Program" 
"The WDC Angel Army" 
"Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
216
216
Review of Five Bucks  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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*Balloonv*Happy WDC Anniversary from "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloonv*
*Magnify* I came across your work today through the Member Account Birthdays   page *Magnify*


Hello!

You'll have to forgive me for crushing on your work. It's rare that I come across a single author who has many things in their port for me to enjoy so much. Maybe it's because I enjoy the type of poetry so much, but I have no doubt that it's largely because of your skill and care with crafting together such wonderful images.

I think what really makes this fun is the mental imagery that the reader is exposed to. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was thinking that there had to be another explanation for the pun. How you came up with a story of money verses doe/deer is beyond me, but I found it quite clever and funny!

Overall, I cannot see anything that I would improve with this poem. I'm having quite a good time rummaging your port and finding these beautiful gems. Keep up the excellent work! *Heart*


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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Also, be sure to check out these wonderful places!
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"The Talent Pond" 
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
217
217
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*Balloonv*Happy WDC Anniversary from "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloonv*
*Magnify* I came across your work today through the Member Account Birthdays   page *Magnify*


Hello again, Magoo.

Another delightfully funny poem. Although this one had a lot of chuckle-worthy imagery, the end was the funniest part. I applaud you for being able to pack a real punch in the end line. My favorite part is stanza four and five. I liked how you described him (bananas!) and his actions of zipping and zapping through the town. *Smile*

Overall, another enjoyable read. I can't wait to see what else you have in store!


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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Also, be sure to check out these wonderful places!
"Newbie Help And Support Group" 
"The Talent Pond" 
"Retired Founder, Rising Stars Program" 
"The WDC Angel Army" 
"Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
218
218
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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*Balloonv*Happy WDC Anniversary from "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloonv*
*Magnify* I came across your work today through the Member Account Birthdays   page *Magnify*


Hello again Magoo!

I liked your other poem so much, I couldn't resist another peek through your port. I'm sure glad I did because I found this gem! This is another poem that just had me laughing from stanza to stanza. Those poor grandparents! *Laugh*

Again, I cannot find any room for improvement for this poem. I think you did a wonderful job with imagery, rhythm, rhyme, and pacing. Fantastic job! *Bigsmile*



Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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"Newbie Help And Support Group" 
"The Talent Pond" 
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"Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
219
219
Review of I Saw a Dragon  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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*Balloonv*Happy WDC Anniversary from "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloonv*
*Magnify* I came across your work today through the Member Account Birthdays   page *Magnify*


Hello Magoo, and happy account anniversary!

Firstly, what a wonderfully fun poem! I enjoyed its rhythm, rhyme, and pace through and through. What a great little story!

I really liked: He chomped upon a flaming steak,/then swallowed whole, a pickled snake. *Thumbsup* and ...had found a bride who weighed a ton. *Laugh*

I found myself smiling throughout this poem and even laughing at the end. Although not a short poem by any means, I found myself wanting more. I cannot find room for improvement on this that would do it any justice. I think you did an excellent job at making this a fun story.

I am happy to be the first to award this special poem. Thank you for sharing it, and keep up the excellent work! *Bigsmile*


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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220
220
Review of Kiss the Wind  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello!

I am happy to have the opportunity to decorate this beautiful poem with its first awardicon. I really feel that this was a well put together poem with beautiful imagery and word choice. Some of my favorites are: sun angled, paint the rattling corn fields, and we ran like ripples of wind. Although there is a little inconsistency in punctuation, I feel I can offer no further improvement. I am happy to have come across this today, and thank you very much for sharing it! *Bigsmile*


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
221
221
Review of Fountain of Youth  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello Brae, and happy account anniversary!

I had to read this poem a couple of times for it to really sink it. I think this has some really wonderful imagery. Some of my favorite parts are: with nimble fingers/and I with clumsy ones, vigor of spring, and lilting only on the edges. I think there are some wonderful word choices, for sure, and I think that the light repetition (in the beginning lines of each stanza) were a good call. Thank you for sharing, and keep up the good work! *Smile*


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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"Newbie Help And Support Group" 
"The Talent Pond" 
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222
222
Review of WYRM  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "Invalid Item"  *Vine2**Heart**Vine1*


Hello Stargopher,

Wyrm is one of my favorites! I can never say too many great things about this wonderful group. What I like best about Wyrm is their critique. Although it's hard-core, the members of Wyrm will always give your their honest opinion on anything submitted. I personally appreciate their tough reviews because more often than not the group is right on with their thoughts for improvement. I am proud to donate to this group, and I hope that it continues to flourish and bring more activity to speculative fiction! *Heart*



Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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223
223
Review of Destination  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello there, and happy anniversary! *Bigsmile*

Although this was a very short poem, as Lanturne's typically are, I found this to be a thought-provoking piece.


*Thought* Word Choice
I thought the word choice of this poem was simple and to the point. The only two words that could possibly be altered are life and death, but even if that were the case one would have to alter them carefully in fear of changing the meaning of the poem. I could find no way to improve word choice. *Thumbsup*

*Magnify* Technicalities/Mechanics
Often when writing my own poetry, I try to examine punctuation carefully. Although the comma is not technically incorrect, I wonder how replacing it with a colon might change the impact of the poem.


Overall, I'm happy to have found this poem today and thank you for sharing it. Keep up the good work! *Bigsmile*



Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
224
224
Review of Southern Woods  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*Smile* I came across your work today through Random Reads   *Smile*



Hey Pat,

I'm so glad I came across this poem today. I vaguely remember seeing it before and never getting a chance to go back to it. Yay, random reads! *Wink*

*Thought* Word Choice and Imagery
I really enjoyed the phrases within this poem. I especially liked serenity in the gentle lapping and autumn-painted canopy as they both conveyed serene imagery and feel-good vibes. *Smile*

*Nuclear* Favorite Part
My favorite part of this poem, aside from bouquets of wildflowers being strewn around the trunk, has to be the actual words, and how they are constructed to resemble a tree. I am impressed with that in of itself, and kudos for actually coloring it! *Thumbsup*

*Hourglass* Rhythm and Rhyme
Because of its structure, I think that the rhyme aspect is not quite what one would expect from traditional poetry, however I had no trouble reading it whatsoever. I cannot think of improvement in this regard.

Overall, I found this to be an enjoyable poem that captures a lot of feel good emotions. Thank you for sharing it, and keep up the great work! *Bigsmile*


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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Also, be sure to check out these wonderful places!
"Newbie Welcome Wagon" 
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
225
225
Review of Wedding Colors  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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*Smile* I came across your work today through Noticing Newbies   *Smile*


Hello there,

I really enjoyed this 'wedding of sorts' poem. I found it very clever how the different colors of the crayon mingled to play different roles in your poem. What I liked best was the story that this told and the way it was unfolded. Bravo! *Thumbsup*

My only thought for improvement on this is to take a little closer look on the syllables, and make sure it's really tight. What I mean by this is to cut where there's an 'extra' one and add where it's needed. Otherwise, I personally would've liked end line punctuation, but that's my personal opinion.

Overall, I felt this was above average but needed minor fixes. It brought a smile to my face tonight, and I thank you for that. Keep up the great work! *Bigsmile*


Write On!
Riot , founder of "Invalid Item" 
Join us in the "Invalid Item"  where all are welcome!
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Also, be sure to check out these wonderful places!
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"Anniversary Reviews" 
"Simply Positive Review Forum " 
617 Reviews · *Magnify*
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