Hello, IsaacMarsh

I really liked the flow of this poem! I thought the word choice was really good. I especially liked they create a façade; they feign the art.

I could find nothing to improve on this poem. Great job!

Hello, Ella Marie Wathen

I like the idea of reading this from three points of views, as you've done. I think that for easier reading, though, it might have more impact for the reader if they were fleshed out more.

I think that you have a distinct style for, forgive me if this was not your intention, teen writing. The descriptive nature of the characters you wrote about really reminds me of a story and style geared toward younger readers. I think part of this has to do with the fact that you're following them from first person point of view, and that the descriptions they give themselves are 'in character' - if that makes sense. (For instance, one character referred to their self as 'bodacious')


Some technical stuff I came across:
...my parent[']s mistakes. - The apostrophe is missing before the possessive, indicating a plural noun.
...floor too[.] The house...
...I waited [there] approximately... - Oops! Wrong use of there/their/they're
...Ella's eyes grew wide as it sunk in what I was saying. - I think with a little bit of reword, this could say the same thing. Maybe something like: Ella's eyes grew wide as what I said sunk in.
...at me[,] but I did...
...not an easy task[,] [for] all of my outfits were designer.
...teen movies[.] Everybody is close...
...looked[,] she was 'All That'...
But[,] what was I supposed to do? - When a conjunction begins a sentence of this nature it needs to be followed by a comma.
I doubted this immensely[.] [However,] because I knew, I just knew, Marie... - This is the best suggestion I could think of for making this sentence work. Splitting an overly long sentence up into two or three can really help, without having to change the meaning.
...and he was wearing a football jersey[,] and even... - Two coordinated clauses require a comma between them for clarity.
In my old school[,] this is... - The phrase before the comma is an introductory phrase, so it needs to be followed by a comma.
...the hall for him[.] I paused, batted... - Sometimes, when there are obviously two apparent sentences combined into one, the simpler solution is to leave them as two sentences for easier readability.
...students came in[,] and I could tell... - Two coordinate clauses should be separated by a comma.
...taking role call. I think you meant roll call. (A list of names.)
...being here yet[.] They always come late...
make up coated makeup coated
In the sentence she raced down the road..., I'm really not sure what you mean. Maybe you could re-word it or add another sentence for clarity.
For right of passage did you mean rite of passage?

Capitalization for entire words has its use, but I think it was used excessively in your story. I understand that you're trying to use it as inflection in your dialog, however, I don't think it's needed. If you need to stress what the narrator is saying, I think you can do so with better supporting text.
*exlcaim* Watch out on word repetition. There were several instances where you repeated a words and phrases, that weren't in parallel sentences. With a word such as beautiful, a thesaurus might come in handy.
I've found that excessively beginning with sentences with but or and can easily be avoided by removing the word entirely. I think it would be a good idea to go through what you've written and count how many times you do this, and see if you can't cut some of them.

To be honest, I had a difficult time reading this. I think that you put a lot of time and effort into developing your characters. Now I think it's time to go back and perhaps work on grammar and editing, so that this can become a really polished piece.

If you ever decide to go back and work on this some more, I'd be more than happy to go back and read and review it again. Keep writing!