A blog about music from my unique perspective (also a spot for some poetry I’ve written) |
A blog, generally about music, usually for projects hosted by Jeff ![]() |
Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ ![]() ![]() ![]() Judging by how frequently I write about music and how deeply it influences me, one might assume I listen to it nearly constantly. On the contrary, I spend most of my time at home in silence, working on projects. I don't believe in background music, preferring to sit down at appointed times to give a song (or two, or several) my undivided attention for a while. As far as Asperger's type obsessions go, I seem to have room in my head for only one all-consuming hobby at a time. Over the years I've gone through different, overlapping “cycles of obsession,” pouring myself into each with as much gusto as possible until I wore myself out and moved on to something else. Since for me, music is an umbrella hobby encompassing reading, writing, art, and both production and consumption of various media types, it lasted longer and kept a stronger hold on me than the other hobbies, which usually revolved around it in some way. There was a time, mostly before I joined WdC, when almost every spare thought was about music. I would memorize lyrics, write them down by hand, and basically stuff my head with them so I would have the songs without having to play them all the time. I would see connections between favorite lyrics and random images, moments or conversations, or even movies I found appealing (Frozen/Imagine Dragons art mashup, anyone?) Everything in my life seemed to be filtered through the lens of music, building a unique, intricate web of personal culture and identity. I can't do music without considering the people in it that I like. I was swept up in their lives, following them on IG, feeling concerns about them and overall being rather parasocial. When Dan Reynolds and Aja Volkman initiated their divorce in 2022, I think I was more upset than either of them. This shock set off my gradual shift away from building my culture entirely on music. 2023 was a year split precisely in half, for me. The first half, I spent beefing up my offline playlist, stashed on a defunct phone. I had finally mastered the technique, spending hours rediscovering all the songs I hadn't heard in years because I didn't have a platform other than YouTube, nor a dedicated device to use. This was the climax of my hobby, and the closest I got to doing background music. My first pair of truly wireless earbuds deteriorated to only one earbud, and I made the best of it by using that one to catch up on all my favorites while doing mundane things. Indeed, there were times when I would have fallen asleep inappropriately if I hadn't had my offline music streaming in one ear, keeping different parts of my brain activated. The shift started when I discovered WdC in the middle of July. As more and more of my spare time got caught up in creative writing projects, I simply had less time to spend “vegetating,” or sitting around giving up my thought processes for someone else's art. I spent more time creating my own universes of words, rather than stepping into and living off of the word worlds of others. Contributing to this, I also bought a new pair of truly wireless earbuds last summer. They work so well, I don't ever want to use only one earbud again, because I'll be missing out on the full depth and dimension of the music. And situations where I can afford to use both earbuds and totally lose myself in bidirectional sound… well, that's mostly in the hours shortly before bedtime. But that's the time reserved for writing! It's not only that I don't have time for listening to music anymore. I hardly even miss it. It's all still pretty firmly planted in my head and heart, ready to inspire my worldbuilding when I need it. If I need a particular song to write a story to, as with "Reflections" ![]() I've even learned to ignore or filter, for the most part, what surrounds me in public. I've developed an ear keen enough to identify a song style and voice I would be interested in learning more about, and everything else mostly goes in one ear and out the other. It used to be I would Shazam everything indiscriminately. These days I hardly pick it up unless I really want to know. Half the time I just want to see if I've correctly guessed at someone's voice. A couple examples to show I'm not so obsessed with music as I used to be, and I'm fine with it. The other day, I heard the tail end of a song at Walmart and sensed it was something interesting. Shazam told me it was The Hype, from Twenty Øne Piløts and their Trench album. “Normally,” I would have been excited and gone to research it, download it, listen to it and write about it at some point. As it was, I took a screenshot of the stats and hurried to do my fiscal-year's-end market research, which is why I was inside Walmart in the first place. It took a couple days before I even remembered to look at the lyrics to The Hype. When I did, I was bored and decided not to bother listening to it. It didn't seem nearly as intellectually compelling as the handful of other Tøp songs I'm familiar with. I noted it in my journal and moved on. Then yesterday, I was at the library, juggling tasks and trying not to stare blankly at my iPad while helping Mom with her college studies. I noticed OneRepublic apparently dropped a new song, a collaboration with some obscure band with a weird name. I tried looking into it and found almost no information. I glanced at the lyrics, grew bored by them, and decided I had better things to do than get all excited about a collaboration. I don't even know if Ryan Tedder sings exclusively on it or if he shares it with someone else. Another thing, which dominated 1R headlines for some reason, is the career compilation album they've announced. Like, duh, it's old music gathered onto a CD. What's so exciting? I looked at the tracklist and felt like I could have picked a bone with half of the choices on it, but it wasn't worth the energy. I have more interesting, more productive things to do these days than cling to the world of music. And that's a good thing. Hopefully it's a sign of intellectual maturity. Words: 1,100. |