|Hi DeeDoubleU, I am reviewing your short story "Don't open that door" on the behalf of Game of Thrones here on WDC.
♥ This short story is a comedy and it is about an after school detention teacher name Miss McGill and her three fifth grade students: Danny, Stanley, and Cecil. The three students have detention for various offenses. While in detention Miss McGill decides that she needs to run to the office for just a moment and everyone knows that you don't leave three troublemakers alone for any prolonged length of time. While Miss McGill is away the kids decide to get into a little trouble by opening a door that Miss McGill had said not to open.
♥ Things I noticed/specific suggestions: There were a few sentences that gave me pause, but I think if you were to do another read through of this short, you will find the errors.
♥ Spelling/Grammar: I did not spot any common spelling errors and your grammar is okay.
♥ Overall: This was a funny short, the ending and the beginning were both my favorites. I think your sentence structure needs a little work and can be improved.
After five minutes of silence, Miss McGill stood and said, “Boys, I have to run down to the office for a moment. No talking please, and whatever you do…. Don’t open that door.
After five minutes of silence Miss McGill stood and said, “Boys, I have to run down to the office for a moment. No talking please, and whatever you do. Don’t open that door.
Just little things like that I don't think all of your commas are needed in this piece, to be honest.
This review was given freely in thanks for a writing that was written freely
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