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Review Requests: ON
3,528 Public Reviews Given
4,105 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look at the title, premise, overall structure first. Then I see how it makes me feel. After that, I might comment on little errors which are easily fixed.
I'm good at...
Hmm. Well you'd have to ask the one being reviewed what that be.
Favorite Genres
Paranormal, spy/detective, sci-fi, romantic suspense (hey I'm female and entitled). documentary, psychological and more.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything too gorey depending on how it's done. I don't need every little detail.
Favorite Item Types
First tell me what an item type is. haha
Least Favorite Item Types
An item has to make sense even if it uses fantasy ideas.
I will not review...
I don't like where some writer crammed six long chapters into one item area. I also don't like it if the paragraphs are so long you lose your place reading it. If you don't want me to lose interest and give up, break it up into sections and link it to the next exciting chapters. Nobody wants to sit through a detailed story for hours without a break.
Public Reviews
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176
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Review of Medical Tyranny  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Bride,

Good article. Well said.

Glad to see I'm not the only one not liking this balogna and cheese there passing around. They are definitely lying. Then lie about lying.

That will be interesting to see in history books, if there are any.

This part was interesting too. Not sayimg you're wrong. :

"Its the MANS seed that determines the sex of a child, and children get their identities from their FATHERS. MEN train sons how to be men, fathers, and how to treat women; while daughters get their first interaction of male stability and an example of what type of man they should date/marry from their dad."


* What I can also say is that some men are poor examples. They give other men a bad name.

I'm not saying that someone can't change that, if it's recognized as an issue though. Mother's also have influence over thier children no matter what gender.

I do get what you're saying though. Always interesting.

Thanks for sharing.


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177
177
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Riley,

I just read your item called Debunking Christianity #1.

I get what you are saying, and respect your right to say it or believe it.

I see where you're coming from and that it's impossible for Christianity to be true since the world existed before it became known of.

Think of history books, there's a lot known in history books, which were written long after the events happened.

Now consider yourself a God, not just any god, but one that sees and knows all, and yes can create such a place as Earth,a Galaxy, a universe, a plain of existence.

Since God would have these powers which no mere human, prone to error and also greatness, can imagine fully how that can come about.


I admit I don't have all the answers but I'm pretty sure some have come close, yet still do not fully know all there is to know in order to give a fair and true analysis of it.

I'm not here to change your mind on this. I'm here to show
my perspective. I can't say that everyone else agrees on this. And that's okay. We all find our way on the path we choose and should we decide otherwise then that can be too.
I only have one suggestion yet it's up to you how you want it. I would add a line space between paragraphs. It makes it easier to read.

Thanks for sharing this.
Be Blessed.


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178
178
Review of [ References ]  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Garathe,

I saw your response on the newsfeed on memes so I decided to take a look at your portfolio.


This poem does show how things are in the present time and so it's something that many can relate to. It's said is simple words that anyone can understand.

This part made me stop and read it again was the following one.

* The dangers of religion
Faith in institutes
Unchallenged and unscrutinized
Leaves minds of destitute
Zealous in belief
In an aimless, blind pursuit
Contemplation all abandoned
Afterthought, a residue

***

I see this alot. It seems that each group of people are zealous that they are certain that have the only true religion.

That in itself causes a division. Why cant people realise they are limited by their own chosen belief system? We are humans discovering what feels real, yet which part have we not considered into that idea of what is?

Then again, are they free to choose what they will without being ostracized?

Your item is thought provoking.
It is formatted well.

Thanks for sharing.




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179
179
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello SomaSilver,

I just read your item and here to review it.

The title seems appropriate to the content.

The thoughts shared in this piece can be clearly understood; and it's presented in a way that almost anyone can relate to considering these difficult times many are having.

I get that sometimes we need to be free of thinking about our struggles and just allow some sense of piece to surround us.

I especially liked this part(with added suggestions)

been through wars inside of my head(,)while all I was doing outside was smiling, trying, doing my best (to) never give up, and that's what exhausted me the most.

I get those moments or days. The anxiety is great. What I noticed is music tends to soothe me once I've settled down a bit. It may give the mind a temporary reprieve from the problems that seem to not go away. But eventually they will. Keep the faith.


Thanks for sharing.

Be blessed.



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180
180
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dragon Blue,

I was just looking at your assorted c-notes and they really are quite beautiful. Each one is unique.

Every now and then I like to help celebrate someone's birthday or anniversary, or use one if someone needs a little cheering up.

I may have to drop by again when I need a special one for somebody.


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181
181
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Ruwth,.

Here I am again looking around in your portfolio. And now there is this, which is another thought provoking premise.

It's something some people have to deal with and so can understand and sympathize.


I'm curious about Janie and her new parents, who were able to give her a good life. Yet, you have to wonder just how good a life she had. So many things could happen, therefore there's so many possibilities for this story. Plus not knowing about your background can be difficult. It could be it's better to not know, yet other people say you have a right to know.

You have me hooked as I'm interested in the complexities of people. We all seen to have our own personal heaven or hell at times, and things can seem almost fairytale perfect, yet not be.

Thanks for sharing this. I hope to read more. If so, maybe a connecting link at the bottom could lead to the next chapter.



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182
182
for entry "The Counselor
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Ruwth, I just read this. Wow. I like it.

You did pretty good, but a few places I thought might need some revision.

* You wrote:
BLANCHE, I am THE COUNSELOR assigned to talk with you today.
I am glad you came to talk with me.

(Talk was mentioned twice.

BLANCHE, I am the counselor assigned to you. I am glad you came to talk with me.

I wasn't sure about the capitalization because it is a script.

Also wouldn't we keep each characters actions and dialogue together?

*Idea* in the fact she sees couples together she knows there's something she wants. For me seeing couples walking hand in hand is so touching and sad too as I don't have that with someone I love now.

Again, I realise this is a script so maybe some things aren't the same in them. What do I know?

Still, I'd love to read more of this story, script or not.

I know you're quite busy but this is a great start and I could see how it could be expanded quite a bit.

Thanks for sharing!


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183
183
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Revelry,

I read your edited story. This does look better, but still a few areas might need a little editing.

Interesting story about conjuring up a dead person's soul who. Is missed alot.
Title is appropriate to story content and format looks good. Sentences were fragmented, and I made suggestions below.
*Pencil*
* 2nd instead of second

* November Second 2nd. El Dia de los Muertos, the day of the dead. Tonight is my only chance(,)Amelia thinks, walking down the path to the Somme River.

* She had all the things needed for her summoning attempt. The Red Baron(,) aka Manfred Von Richthoen(,) the only thing that's been pulling and pushing at her, (was)an obsessive compulsive thought for the past year now. She('d) been fascinated with his life as a world war one legend since she was a little girl, and tonight, (was her) the chance to meet him and connect past and present, the living and the dead

* Finally coming into the field on the hill near Bray-Corbie road, just north of the village of Vaux-sur-Somme(, was) the place where he made his final landing ninety-two years ago.

Really neat item considering it's almost Halloween

Thanks for sharing.


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184
184
Review of The Beginning  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Ben Garrick,

I saw this item in your portfolio and decided to have a closer look and review it too.

Title seems appropriate to the story content

Premise opens to the first meeting up, after he has had previous several dates with other girls.
Yet this blonde is intriguing. She is different.

Mental and sexual tension is apparent as he interacts with this new girl. He's cautious as he doesn't want to mess things up.

It's endearing that he's extra careful with her.

I liked the phrase "Built like a brick pizzeria." Guys normally love pizza and pizza could be baked in brick ovens.

Okay so I got that wrong but still it works, right?

I liked both of these people's honesty with each other.

I am curious why he (you) and Blondie didn't stay together later on.

You said that's another story. Where is it? I wanted to know more.


There was a lot of blank space on the pages. That didn't effect the main story but it could be better arranged.


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185
185
Review of There Is No God  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

Hello Grum of Grums,

I found this item as I continue to look in your portfolio and am here to give my thoughts on it.

I like how well you explain your thoughts. This is a well-written piece whether or not I agree on it, doesn't matter. I can understand it.

I liked that you gave examples explaining why you believe as you do.

Good point:
“If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.”


I did see places that needed a comma but didn't notice any other areas that needed editing. It's possible that I missed some because I was caught up in the perspective.


Thanks for sharing.


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186
186
Review of Minor Key  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Grum of Grums,


I came across this item in your port by way of a link somehow. This is so well written. We see a young boy enjoying his special spot and then as he becomes a teen, eventually as a man. He is entranced by the mermaid And bring the man he is, knows he must turn away. Mainly because he is wedded to another.

Yet time and circumstance and choices don't seem to be set imhbjim well.

This story resonated with other people and so they may empathize and understand their own choices in life, yet say why me? What did I do to deserve this?


It's oddly interesting that upon waking this early morning, this was the first story I read and so appropriate.

I had woken up talking, whispering rather, heartbroken for the love of my past, love of and saying those deepest feelings within my heart, words to him that he need to hear. He stayed there in my mind's existence listening without reaction.

I see an outpouring of deep emotion in your item. Painful as the events are, it's still rooted in such devotion and beauty.


When I read the final paragraph at first I thought he was going to drive off the cliff but he didn't. Such sadness he had.

The story descriptions were rich with imagery.


* Long sentence here yet it's easy to understand it.

He found it difficult to understand how he had become exposed to all the negative consequences of his actions, and sometimes, inactions, asking, as he was not a bad person, why did bad things have to happen to him? Had he explored this in any depth, it is possible he may have recognised how his choices led to his consequences, and thus he was responsible for his own behaviour

The only other thing I noticed which might need editing, is the numbers.
Such as:
Forty three. I think it needs a hyphen forty-three.

There was one other number words that also needed a hyphen.

Regardless of that,I can't help but give this five stars mainly because of the expressive content.

Thank you so much for sharing.


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187
187
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lobelia,

I hope you don't mind if I shorten your name. I noticed this on one of the WDC pages I had to read and review it.

Not sorry I did. This was fun to read about the "flasher overcoat". Those two incidents really made hubs change his mind but both were hilarious.

I liked that you first told us what was going on then we actually get to see those people commenting. This really got me to laugh.

I saw an error. Oops.
*Pencil*

* ey(e)ing my (forty-five year old husband) frumpy husband

This is easily fixed. Good job on this short story.



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188
188
Review of A Truth  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Thomas Seeker,


I'm here to review this newest item in your port.

You explain this idea well or at least better than I could have. I agree on most though. Nobody on this earth really understands fully what all if this means but can visualize it if they want to.

I especially liked this part:
Not by your works but by the grace of God.

I also to others to believe in themselves. People may say or do things intentionally or unintentional that feel hurtful and are in fact hurtful, but don't let that drag you down. Remember that it's not always about something you did wrong, but can be something inside them which they have a need to express. It doesn't mean that it is okay. It may be a blockage that needs expressing in order to see the results of those ideas and actions. I hope this is making sense to someone other than just me. If not, then with time and experience each person can recognize it,if they allow it.

*Pencil*
* Not a monument, like we have now a days (nowadays). L(i)ke the kings of Egypt

* This shows how it got change(d), so much in the past that it required a savior

* Once they made you believe in their way, it be came (became) truth.

There's a word for this kind of thinking..maybe it's abstract. Apparently not everyone can grasp it. At least not until they the time comes that they can.

* This next excerpt brings a question.
You are your brothers keeper because a piece of what you have is in them too!

Yes and no. Is our body not our temple? If so, we each would do well to take care of ourselves and
Respect other people to also choose what they wish. You can't force someone to do what they don't believe in. If you do, them it brings negative results.

If we dont take care of ourselves how will we take care of others? Right?

I do want to say that I think words and thoughts are powerful so think good thoughts.

Good read. Deep thinking. Expressed well.

Thanks for sharing.




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189
189
Review of A Kitten Calls  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Tina,

This was a nice little story you shared. Those boys have good hearts to pay attention to the cr for help.

I liked how you described thier quest and how they arrived to rescue the poor little thing.

I kept thinking they might get in trouble not ditching school. Maybe they'd find out that class was dismissed. There could be a good reason that might happen.

Good job on this. We saw a happy ending. I wonder if they will keep the kitten and where the kitten might end up allowing them another experience leading to adventure.


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190
190
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Rich,

Wow all those things happening at once had to be a nightmare. I can only imagine what that was like. I know if the electricity shuts off we suddenly find outlesekves looking for candles and flashlights but then what? It's dark and possibly cold and there's not much you can do just yet anyway.

You did a good job portraying this scenario. I didn't notice any misspelled words or errors.

Thanks for sharing. Here's a little gift. Just tap in it to collect it.



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191
191
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Wake up and live,

I found this one. You did a good job of showing us what's going on here. It's clear that this person is bowled over by how attractive the person being watched is.
Looks like he's not as attached as the watcher is though.

Unfortunately, this would be detrimental to his own well being.

I saw no errors in this item.



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192
192
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
On chapter 3 I think. Could you number these?

Here we see a flashback showing how Angie and Thomas met.

The wierd part is about this guy's approach. It would scare anyone. Might have thought that this guy was crazy or had a sick sense of humor. Either way it was creepy.

Somehow she got over it. Not sure I would. I realize that there must be a reason for this but right now I'm not too comfortable with it.

Moving forward now to the next chapter.


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193
193
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello again Wake up and Live,

I'm here reading and reviewing your second chapter. Death doesn't become you.

The first thing I noticed was below:

*Pencil* We meet here today to pay tribute to the life of Thomas (Sink--i would mention it the first time only then just Thomas).


Hmm. She's confused and wondering if it could all just be a horrible mistake and then wakens to Thomas appearing before her. It didn't matter though as he returned to her arms.

She might wonder if God answered her fervent pleas. It doesn't matter to her though because he is there.

*I will continue on to the next chapter.





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194
194
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello SomaSilver,

Here I am checking out more of your items in your portfolio. I can't tell which ones are the newest. Below I made line spacing and altered this a little to see how it looked, as the original is continuous. This new version is a little easier to read for me yet not perfect. It's possible to change the wording a little to make it more concise, yet the meaning is what feels right.

The person accepts her just as she is because of the love they share. Isn't that what we all want to happen. Someone to see and accept us as we are, yet maybe be there for us along the way?



She's angry, I can see it.
Not at me, not at anyone.
I know her so well
because I love her.

She's mad at the past.
At things and events and people
She had to deal with it.
Some days sad about it,
I can see that she's one tough cookie
and a loving one.

Her wings are still fresh.
you see, being out of the cage
is a learning experience
to be free, to be something
she rarely was--happy with
love and herself.

She is flying, free and
she is mine as I am hers,
love does that...
Acceptance.


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195
195
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Zen,
I came across this item in your portfolio and decided to take a closer look.

I'm not disappointed. I found this article interesting and informative.

All of the things you listed to create an action scene makes sense. Fight or no fight. It applies to any action scene.

Even in romance stories, it moves from choice to consequences, from stimulus to response, from cause to effect.

Often times there's a period where the character thinks about the possibilities.This might be where a slight pause occurs before there's more action.



As far as how this is arranged on the page, it looks good. I also didn't see any errors.

Thanks for sharing. I plan on keeping these points in mind.

*Party* This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up *Party*


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196
196
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello SomaSilver,

I came across your portfolio and found this little item. It doesn't rhyme l, but not all poetry does.

It's short, sweet, and meaningful. It reveals the reason for meeting someone.

The sentiment is so endearing at the end. It shows true caring and love.


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197
197
Review of Breaking you  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Thomas Pain,.

This item is different.
The things happening seems to be done because the person believes it's for the best.

Hurting can come in so many ways. Most if all, I think each person needs to be honest with the other one.

To figure out what matters most. I had gotten to a point that I thought hey if this really makes him happy then how can I sent it. Yet, I would still be denying my own happiness. And that isn't healthy either

Your poems are deep.


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198
Review of Longing.  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi again Thomas Pain,
I have been looking through your port. And I found this one.

To be honest, I don't know a whole lot about poetry. I only know what appeals to me or at least brings up a feeling.


There's a lot of sensuality in this poem about her skin, her hair, her eyes, and the way she looks at him. It's enough to make him weak.

Nicely worded emotion.

Keep writing.


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199
Review of Remission List  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Rhyssa,

I stopped by your port and found this gem..

Wow this is great. We see this couple trying to be strong for each other and keep the faith that things could turn out well, yet there's always that doubt to as life can be so unpredictably predictable. Or do isn't that backwards.

Either way, I do like how this ended as they decided to just live out Thier lives rather than focus on dying.

When your facing the possibility that life can end so unexpectedly, I believe something inside changes and we realise we must live whatever time we have appreciating what we can.

Great read and done well.
HiI lived this part. It says it all:
“Not dying isn’t the same thing as living. You can’t spend all your time thinking about dying. If you do, we’ll never live.


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200
Review of Can You See  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Aries Writer,

I'm here to read and review your item.

The topic is something so many people can relate to at least once in thier life, and so it's easily understand and real.

The sadness and feeling of hopelessness is apparent in this item.

It seems the best we can do at least for now is simply live them anyway.

Well expressed and good read.


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