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987 Public Reviews Given
994 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Strangers  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello--

Thank you for sharing your work. I thought the message of this poem was lovely, even though it was sad, but I think this will resonate with your readers.

I do have a few suggestions for your poem; please feel free to use or discard them as you see fit.

In the first stanza, I would change "heartbreaking" to "harsh" so that it fits the rhyme scheme. The rhythm in that sentence is kind of off.

In the third stanza, the second line throws the whole stanza off. It seems out of place with the rest of the lines of that stanza. Additionally, the meter is off in the first line, although I think an easy fix would be to change the sentence to "Everyday was just the same".

In the fifth stanza, you change the rhyme scheme in such a way that stanza is hard to read. I tripped over this stanza a couple of times as I read it, so you may want to review the rhyme pattern you developed in previous stanzas, and so if you can replicate it in this one.

In any case, I think with just some tweaks, this poem will be phenomenal. Keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
102
102
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello--

Thank you for sharing your work. I thought you did a great job meeting the challenge of this prompt. You painted a very vivid, concrete picture that was easy for the reader to visualize, and I thought your poem came together very nicely at the end. I did not see any errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation, so that's also a plus.

Keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
103
103
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello!

Thank you for sharing your work. This story has a lot of promise! Generally, I think you did a good job meeting the challenge of the prompt, and I think the situation that you created is relate-able to any reader. I also thought the dialogue was not bad; in the first paragraph, I personally needed some clarification as to who was talking, both in the first sentence and with the last. It could just be a spacing issue; maybe separate those sentences from the body of that paragraph so that it is clearer who is speaking to whom.

My critique of your piece would just be that the story seemed predictable. Given the nature of the prompt (and even without it), there weren't really any surprises in the story, and at the end, it seemed like a huge jump for Richard to attempt suicide. I think there should have been a negative consequence, but I wonder if it should have been that extreme...?

Regardless, these are just my opinions. Please disregard anything you disagree with. It was still a good read. Good luck with the contest!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
Review of Grey Lady  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello!

You reviewed something of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work. This was very interesting. I liked the tone that you developed with this piece. It was appropriately dark, although I don't think it was too scary. It was very descriptive, and you could see her coming for victim pretty well. The only thing: I did not care for the fourth stanza. It seemed like a distraction; I myself would omit it.

Otherwise, keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
105
105
Review of The Write Life  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello!

Thank you for sharing your work. I thought you did a good job meeting the intent of your poetry, which was to talk about what writing is like. You picked some common images that most writers can relate to and made appropriate comparisons accordingly.

My main critique would be the repetition of the phrase "it is...". I think it is fine for the first two lines where it appears to help establish a pattern, but then, for the third, fourth, and fifth sentence where it appears, I think you could leave it off because by that time, everyone should understand that the "it is" is implied.

Keep up the good work and write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
106
106
Review of The Solemn Vow  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello!

I saw this posted on the review request page so I thought I'd take a peek. I really enjoyed this. I love dark poetry, mainly because it is so unexpected and is such a deviation from normal poetry. Additionally, I also loved that this told a story--that's one of my favorite things ever in a poem! And what a story it told!

The rhyme scheme was extremely well-done, and I didn't see any errors in spelling, grammar or punctuation, so that's also a plus. The language and your word choice are very sophisticated; I think that is so important when writing rhyming poetry because it keeps it from sounding to "mother goosey", for lack of a better way to say it. It also shows great thought and deliberation, so good job there.

Keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
107
107
Review of The Wolf  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello again!

I saw this one on the review page as well so I thought I would also critique it for you.

Again, I think you have a wonderful way with words. I found beauty in your verse---if I didn't fully understand this one. I feel like this poem is really in two parts: the first part ends with "...angry seas", and then the next line would start the next verse. That said, I take it by your title you are in fact talking about an actual, literal wolf and it's not a euphemism for something else, but I could be wrong. I could just not be reading it correctly. Regardless, I still felt entranced by your verse. I want to read it again and again.

One other thing: is there a typo in the third line? It says "The she's..." This did not make sense to me.

In any case, keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Tranquil  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello!

I saw this one the review request page so I decided to take a peek--so glad I did! *Smile*

This poem is just lovely. I loved the rhyme scheme, and it flows very well. The poem is as you intended: tranquil. There is a softness to your words, and certainly a kind of lyricism, that is soothing and calming to read, especially as the reader is asked to let go of the past and turn to the future. Wonderful imagery. I didn't see any errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation, so that's also a plus.

Keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
109
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Review of Winter Chill  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello!

You recently reviewed something of mine and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work. I thought this poem was very interesting, mainly because I had never heard of Lento poem before. By your explanation of its characteristics, this poem is very well done. Structurally, I did not see any errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation, so that's also a plus.

I though the message of your poem was well-expressed and very easy to visualize. Excellent word choice all around.

Keep up the good work.

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
110
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Review of A miner's song  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello!

You reviewed something of mine about a week ago and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work. I liked the idea behind this poem very much--it was kind of like a glimpse into the life and the thoughts of a coal miner. However, to me, there seemed to be a problem with the rhyme scheme. The rhyme pattern of the first stanza was aaaa, whereas in the second and third stanzas, it was abab. In my initial reading, that pattern through me off. I would suggest perhaps re-wording the first stanza so that it follows the pattern of the second and third stanzas. I think that would help the whole thing flow better and make it more cohesive.

Keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Petals of love!  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello!

You reviewed something of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work. I thought you poem was well-done. The poem used a lot of concrete images that helped bring the poem to life. My only critique would be the last line; I don't think using the word "boon" provides a strong enough or romantic enough image. To me, the word "boon" itself is kind of a funny-sounding word, so it kind of detracts from your overall message and seems to make it less serious or less heartfelt. But again, that's just me. Someone else may have a different view.

Keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Marmalade Hill  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello!

You reviewed something for me earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work. I thought this poem was very interesting, although I wondered about who is "the man without a face". I understood the intriguing nature of this fabulous dancer, especially when considering the intimate, sometime wondrously romantic nature of dancing, but for me, that doesn't necessarily validate being intimate with this relative unknown, but that's just me.

I think that the structurally, the poem is strong, and I did not see any errors in spelling, punctuation, or grammar, so that's a plus.

Keep up the good work and write on!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
113
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Review of love rips  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello!

You reviewed something of mine earlier this week and I wanted to return the favor.

I hope this is the piece you wanted me to review. Well, I thought this was interesting, but I think it needs some more work. I actually had a bit of a hard time following the story, and I read it twice. I think just giving the characters some names would really help with that. Generally, there were quite a few issues with grammar, punctuation, and mechanics that need to be looked at in order to increase the readability of your work here.

I think your story does have potential, it just needs to be cleaned up.

Also, sorry it took so long to review this. Crazy, crazy week at work.

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Layers  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello--

You reviewed something of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work. I kind of liked this poem. I liked the simplicity of the verses; it was rather clean and uncluttered and I appreciated that very much. However, I feel like the third stanza is completely out-of-place in this poem. I guess my thing is, you set up a kind of pattern in the first two stanzas in such a way that when I got to third stanza, I was expecting A, but instead I got B, and B was rather jarring. I personally would maybe consider deleting it...or maybe move it to the end? Anyway, it's just a thought.

Otherwise, keep up the good work!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of A Needed Friend  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello--

You reviewed something of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work. This was a wonderfully woeful poem, profound in sentiment, but endearing. I thought the rhyme scheme you delivered was extremely well-crafted. It flowed particularly well; additionally, your words elicit strong imagery. With each passing word, I could feel each character's grief. As the poem continues on, I also felt those first stirrings of hope rising as the puppy helps the little girl adjust with loss and move on.

Keep up the good work!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Black Hole Cow  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello--

This is just lovely! And despite the fantastical nature of the product, it felt very much like a realistic item, and I have to tell you, if it existed, I absolutely would eat it (I anticipate that the amazing Cow would also have weight-loss properties--am I right?! LOL)

Anyway, this is just a blurb to tell you know that I did enjoy this piece. Very well-written, wonderfully descriptive and fanciful. A gem.

Good luck with the contest today!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello--

Thank you for sharing your work. I really liked this poem. I think many of us can relate to sometimes wishing to be more than who we are at any given moment in time, I certainly can. I thought you did well to catch a lovely rhythm that was full of longing, woe, and regret--although a little hope might have been nice!!! LOL Just kidding!!! It wouldn't have fit this current poem.

In any case, good job with this one. I didn't see any errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation, so that's always a plus.

Keep up the good work and write on!
Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Bragging Rights  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello--

I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know how darkly beautiful this poem was. The imagery was stark, savage, and brutal, but I mean that in the best possible way given the nature of the poem. Certainly you filled the space with images that were not only easy to see, but easy to feel as well. Congratulations on your win today and keep up the good work!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
119
119
Review of The Jeweler  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello--

Thank you for sharing your work. I thought this poem was very lovely. Additionally, I thought it was also very cleverly done. I had to read it twice before I understood fully the poem, but that's not a bad thing at all. I got enjoy your poem twice!

I liked the eloquence of the language; I thought your word choice was wonderful. I think that's very important when you are working with rhyming poetry because it keeps it from sounding to elementary or mother-goosey. The rhythm pattern worked very well also, and made your poem easy to read.

It's too bad that given all that the narrator had done for his love, he got rejected...

In any case, good work!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
120
120
Review of Battle of Wits  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello--

Thank you for sharing your work. I thought your poem was very interesting, but maybe it could use some more work. I actually thought the second stanza was brilliant, but I don't think any of the other stanzas equal the second in either length, theme, or tone. The first stanza felt more like prose, and the last stanza seemed completely unconnected. The third stanza seemed like it was trying to mirror the the theme and sentiment of the second, but because they lines were so brusque and short, I think it missed the mark.

In any case, please know that these are just my opinions. Feel free to use or discard them as you see fit.

Write on!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
121
121
Review of Waiting in Line  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello--

You reviewed something ofine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!!!

Thank you for sharing your work. I was intrigued at the beginning (I thought the story was taking place at the airport) but I felt like the story was a little anti-climatic. I thought the following line in the story was what kind of threw it off for me: "Week after week we put ourselves through this and for what? I was just about to find out." The tone of this sentence suggests that if the person had failed, would all of the effort have been worth it? When talking about weight loss, success can be measured by more than just the number on the scale, so...I dunno. It just messed it up for me somehow. I was expecting more based on that buildup.

Sorry to be so vague, I know that's not helpful. Good news is, you can always disregard my thoughts!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there!

You reviewed something of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!!!

This poem gets a big "Awww, shucks!" from me. I thought it was super-sweet. I can relate to this poem and this whole situation very well; and even as a parent, I know my own children have been in these kind of situations and it was my job to talk to the about the pros of a potential invite like this. I think your poem cleverly captured the angst of going to a party that you don't want to go to, and how things are never quite what they seem, enough so as to produce a happy if unexpected ending. I thought the rhythm of the poem was excellent; it flowed well and was easy to read.

Keep up the good work and write on!!!

Respectfully,

Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of My greatest dream  
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello--

You reviewed something of mine earlier this week and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work. This was very tightly done and I think anyone who has gone through this trauma can easily relate to what was written here. It is very emotive, and if the prompt was sadness, then I think you hit the nail with a hammer. You were able to tell a lot of story in 300 words; that's important because the word count is in fact so limited. The story is also very descriptive; I was easily able to picture the scene in the doctor's office with the two anxious parents and taste their disappointment at the news.

I didn't see any errors in grammar, punctuation, or spelling, so that's a plus.

Write on!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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124
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there!

Thank you for sharing your work. I didn't like this prompt at all because I thought it could only evoke less-than-serious or even silly poems, but this the complete opposite of any of that!!! I found this to be very somber yet whimisical, and to me, it had a lovely maturity that I would have otherwise thought impossible to achieve. I liked how you incorporated every kind of horse imaginable in any and every kind of circumstance--very creative and imaginative! Keep up the good work and write on!!!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
125
125
Review by elizjohn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello--

You reviewed something of mine earlier this week and I wanted to return the favor!

This was a very cool story! I loved the way it ended! I'm sure there are people who would tell you that you would need a more "complete" or "finished" ending, but I think it was a great ending to a lovely story that had a fairy-tale quality about it.

You did well with the writing of your story; I was easily and quickly drawn into the story. Actually, it was a combination of both the writing itself and the experience of your main characters. I could relate to being young, in love, and just wanting to travel and explore the world. It really helps to draw in the reader, because generally, I think most people can relate to that.

My only critique would be punctuation. You have a couple of run-ons here and there or places where you used commas when you probably should have stopped the sentence completely, etc. You may want to review it to check for that.

Other than that, good job! Write on!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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