Wow. I thought the character was a little odd by spying on her boyfriend. I didn't guess that she would eventually "do him in". I was waiting for a confrontation of some kind, not what happened. The writer did a good job holding back the final event until the end.
A true depiction of life in general. All of us can relate to this, the seasons of life; and how it is strong, then wanes, then disappears until once again it awakes. I like that the author used a family tradition as a way to show this.
Sad, but nice. Good depiction of a loss of memory. I think this is the author's way of dealing with something that is very painful for him/her. i like that he/she also tried to show that the victim now seems happy. The last two lines are tear jerkers.
Sweet little poem proclaiming (I think) the author's love for Jesus. It seems the author has found his love at an early age and it has been unwavering every since.
I was totally immersed in this story and left wondering was it all a dream or not? Imaginative, descriptive, exciting, horrific and addictive. Wonderful storyteller who knows how to build up suspense. Thank you!
I liked the poem, especially the name of the victim "Flying Elbows", very creative.
The poem, for some reason, reminded me of The Deacon's Masterpiece by Oliver Wendall Holmes. Maybe because of all the bad luck he also had.
I thought the cadence was off a little bit but I still enjoyed the story and the humor of it very much.
The author built up a level of anticipation wondering what was going to happen to Maggine; firing, a big bonus, an expression of love held back all these years? In the end it was that little gift peeking out that made you smile. Very nice!
I like the banter between the couple. You could feel the hurt in the conversation which, to me, means that you write from your heart. Perhaps a personal experience? I liked it.
I'm ready for the rest of the story. Beautiful love story that immediately captured my attention. Descriptive, an early feeling of fear and then the anticipation of thinking maybe these two people will click; and they certainly did. I loved the back and forth conversation, it felt real to me. Great job. Again, I will be waiting to read more.
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