Good Morning, Navid!
I read your first chapter, Impulses, and I was very impressed. The style of your writing was, as I said, impressive, and the images that you conveyed were quite wonderful! A live-aboard yachtsman, myself, I found your allusions quite well-formulated. Your comparison of memories and emotions to the characteristics of the timelessness of the sea were both palpable and in their own way quite compelling.
As an author known for writing from what might be described as a 'first-person nautical perspective', though of a different variety, I was easily drawn into the examples you were making and the nature of their meanings when applied to the human condition and how it affects the thought-processes of your protagonist.
Richard's first-person perspective creates the sense of your protagonist speaking directly to the reader, which, as I said, is a format that I try to use, myself. I could actually see this as a case of Richard explaining his story to an open audience, as explaining who he is to a large group of listeners in general, all of whom are listening to his thoughts, rather than being told his story face-to-face. Even so, it doesn't create any kind of a 'self-important' aura, but rather presents it more as a story that he's telling himself, but knowingly let a group of strangers in to share his thoughts.
This is the kind of story I particularly enjoy reading, in that I'm hearing Richard's thoughts, and being included in his life because he's allowing me to hear them as part of a crowd, but doesn't particularly care whether I do or not. It's almost like he's giving a 'mental lecture' on the nature of 'Richard-ness', addressing the reader as a part of the group, rather than individually.
It's a successful combination of the styles used in both 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner' and 'The Incredible Shrinking Man'. Richard is talking to an audience whom he knows is listening, secure in the knowledge that his story has compelled them to, but not caring whether or not they do. He knows that his thoughts are important, and they need to understand them if they want to understand him...and they actually want to.
The only recommendation that I would make is that you put the rest of your work in a larger font and break it into paragraphs, so-as to make it less of a chore to follow. I would also double-space it for the same reason.
Overall, "Impulses" is a very powerful piece. It was well-written, as I've said, your style was impressive, and the images that you created were excellent! It actually drew me in and made me want to hear the entire story. I look forward to hearing the rest of it!
Keep on Writing!
~ Giovannius
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