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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello Maryann
That is review 3 of 3. I am here to read "On the Edge of a New Dawn"  and provide my feeling about it.

*BurstV* I can see that it was written for the image at the end. I could see this dragon as he looks down and read your words feeling they are the perfect match.

*BurstV* The theme of the importance of learning how to be patient and hopeful is a great one. It is a great message to everyone reading this.

*BurstV* I loved how you showed that the dragon, in spite of his outstanding power, yet felt lonely and wished the day comes when he is no longer that way.

It was great seeing that the dragon can have some weakness too.*CheckV*

*BurstV* I have never written or read about dragons. I know there is a lot written about them but I didn't think I'd enjoy reading it, however when I read this I changed my mind and knew that they can be so enjoying to read about.

Thank you for sharing that Maryann. I enjoyed reading what you have. I want to thank you for bidding on my package and supporting worthy causes. You are generous and supportive.

Write On!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello YellowRose
I have read "YELLOW ROSES AND YOU"  and I am returning your favour. You have read many of my pieces for my anniversary and I am glad to read what you have too.

The poem is a warm one of a beloved husband and how she remembers him very much. She remembers the bushes, the roses and their memories together. Although it is sad knowing that he passed away, yet it is good to find out that she always loved him and enjoyed living with him. Many marriages fail and so a good one is a real success that both partners should be proud of. I loved reading it especially with your straightforward style of writing. Write on!

gladiola
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Review of Simply Rain  
Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello Maryann
This is review 2 of 3. I have read "Simply Rain"  and I am sharing my thoughts and feelings regarding this piece of art.

Personal Impression:
*RainbowL* This is a great poem. It describes the beauty of rain and it has multiple experiences to offer the reader. I loved how you successfully included many senses here from the colour changes to the scent to the birds sounds. It feels so relaxing reading this and the reader meditates about rain as you did. I believe that the contrast between the grey coloured clouds and the beautifully coloured rainbow before and after the rain stresses the graceful and beautiful nature.*RainbowR*

Tone & Mood:
The tone is meditating and the mood is beautiful. The blue colour in which it is written is beautiful, as if written in rain water not ink. *Snow3*

Flow and rhyme:
The poem flows well and smooth when read out loud and the rhyme between the second and fourth lines in each stanza adds more music. It doesn't seem forced but rather needed and the rhyming words serve a purpose in the poem meaning. *Music2*

Emotional impact:
It has a great influence on the reader to read this. It is like a soft piece of music. I felt how nature interacts together in harmony and felt that each word is irreplaceable. *Trees*

I rate this *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star*. It is perfect.

Thanks for sharing and write on!
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54
Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello Maryann
This is review 1 of 3. I hope you enjoy your package.
STATIC
Lemonade Girls Detective Agency  (ASR)
A lemonade stand turns out to be a secret business
#863924 by Maryann - House Martell

Plot: Two young girls start their own business selling lemonade, flowers and rocks while also solving childish cases with their thorough detection. I think this is a fabulous plot. It is a unique story inspired from the photo and I don't ever remember reading something similar before, so this is one of a kind.

The characterization was perfect, where the girls acted in a way that is typical to young kids who want to make use of their creative energy and ideas. I felt immediately hooked in the idea and I shared the girls' curiosity to solve their cases. The cases were simple as what kids may think so it suited them to hel find a missing toy or fruit.

*Snow5* I loved the ending when the innocent dog came running and holding the bear in his jaws. What a happy ending! He is just playing and he was ready to give it back to the girls. Everyone here gets something, the victims get their things back and the girls get few dollars and get to enjoy their time and play.

*Snow5* The story is a very fine and simple one. It is awesome and I think it has a lot to teach kids as to be helpful, supportive, not to take what's not yours.

*Snow5* I felt that it reminded me (and would most probably do the same to all readers) of my childhood and the girl living next door who was of my age, and how we were curious to solve similar things and used our imagination. I remember I was curious to make a long earring for I didn't have one at that time, so I made a heart shaped one with about half inch golden chain but still it had nothing to get into my ear, so I use a small part of sticking tape to fix it at the back of my ear lobe. LOL
Sky is the limit when it comes to children and what they are capable of.
This is a light story and I had much fun reading it.
Thanks for sharing and write on!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I am gladiola and I am pleased to offer my review for your essayentitled "WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS" .
As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

*RollEyes*Concept/Premise :*RollEyes*

A hard time you passed through. I believe that we come to face some downs in our lives and I wanted to know what yours was like.

*Reading*Overall impression :*Reading*

That sounded pretty hard, where you suffered some hard circumstances. I could see how you are a loving person who stood beside those who ever need your help and support them as much as you can. It is great to find you raising other kids in addition to your own to make their lives better. May God bless you for all what you do towards your family members and WDC members. We love you Sherri and it is amazing how you are so generous towards people you don't know. You are a real angel here.

*ThumbsUp*What I liked most : *ThumbsUp*
I loved the fact that you were able to see some light coming and inspire the reader that things do change. Great point! We should always have hope.


Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
William Wordsworth



Write on!

*Vine1* Thanks For Sharing *Vine2*

Reviewed By Gladiola


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hi CREEK
I have read {item: 1750697} and I have some pieces of advice to offer you according to dynamic reviewing class that I have just finished at New Horizons Academy. I hope you find my review helpful.

Please note that I am still learning how to write a short story myself and my stories have low ratings so far, however it is easier for one to spot areas for improvement for works of others rather than his own.

My first impression: the story has good idea and good basics to act as a building unit of a larger story. However, it will still some time spent on it as there are some areas for improvement that I noticed.

I’ll discuss it as paragraphs:
The first paragraph:
*Cool* The opening hook was a great one. The reader is immediately hooked in the story. The colourful description of the surrounding nature and that butterfly makes the reader really SEE the scene and imagine what it looked like.
*PointRight* You may even stress that by involving other senses in the paragraph, like how did the breeze feel on her skin, or the texture of the leaves, or maybe the smell of a certain flower.
The story is written in past tense, therefore there shouldn’t be any mixing of tenses in order not to confuse the reader. For example “It will be a victim to a lizard” would

The second paragraph:
*LeafO*“The house , she lived with her grandparents can be seen not far away from where she was perched. “ This could be written as “The house where she lived with her grandparents was only few steps away from where she sat.”
her husband-the girl’s grandfather and the girl. This is very confusing. Naming your character will make it easier for the reader to follow up with you. Or you can say (her husband and grand daughter).
*LeafO*Very industrious woman she was. The sentence composition is not correct, it should be “ She was a very industrious woman. (subject, verb, adjective).
*LeafO*Very industrious woman she was. Rearing chicken for eggs and she made the girl take them to a house where they are bought sixty cents a dozen. It should be (she was a very industrious woman; rearing chicken and selling their eggs sixty cents a dozen).
*LeafO*On Sundays, he would go to the bazaar and would buy pork and beef to the resentment of her grandmother because she had to cook several times since grandfather did not bring food at one time. *PointRight* It is recommended to avoid using such long sentences in stories, because it will make the reader stop to understand what is going on and lose his focus.

The third paragraph:
*BurstBR* Even the remembering of sweets made her mouth water and she craned her neck to see whether her father was coming. It is hard to imagine this as it really stirs one’s emotions. Nice work.*ThumbsUp*
*BurstBR* which reminds her of a flower (reminded) It should be a past tense like the tense in which the story is written.

Spaces: In general, you should remember to leave 1 space after a comma and 2 spaces after a period. Do not leave any spaces before a comma.

The story structure needs some work on it: It was great to find the girl feeling lonely and wishing her parents would understand and consider her need to be with her family. However the story is just about her sitting and thinking. The story needs to have a plot. A plot is a causal sequence of events, the "why" for the things that happen in the story. The story needs to have a beginning, a middle and an end, not just a fixed sitting. You may consider working on the plot towards achieving your story. This looks like an introduction to the story.
Also throughout the story, we don’t know why that girl was left alone at her grandparents’ house, while her sisters lived with their parents. There should be a logic explanation as to why things happen rather than to tell them that it happened. You should write your story so that the reader comes to the end, where he doesn’t have any unanswered questions.

I hope I have not been harsh. You can see how lousy my first two flash were. I am keeping them unedited at my port to mark how I started and how I improve. i.e. I am trying to help you improve and so I give that *Star* *Star* *Star* and I am willing to come back and re-rate it once you work on it. so if you are willing to polish it, please let me know when you are done.
Feel free to contact me for any questions or comments. I am proud of you for writing in a second language and please keep it up.
gladiola
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Review of The Mind of God  
Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello honsbira
I have read "The Mind of God" . The title hooked me immediately because it is a very unique thing to read. I believe that it is an abstract for a longer and even endless topic and so I couldn't get all of it.

However I believe that it is a good idea to discuss what the mind of God is like. I read it twice and the thing that I liked most was the compound nature of God's mind. This may somehow begin to explain some really confusing things that may not seem fair to our human mind (or at least to myself) like the end of the life of Stephen or even believers who get a disease and suffer a lot till they die.

One thing I'd like to comment on a bit longer is “The Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart”. I learned that this line means that God knew that Pharaoh's heart will be stubborn and that he won't let God's people go. Pharaoh's heart hardened because he saw God removing every one of the hits he punished him with, so God hardened his heart by the kind way he acted. This doesn't mean that God made him say no to Moses because God doesn't interfere in Man's will. I hope you clarify that a bit more to me.

I believe this piece is very interesting and intriguing. It makes me feel compelled to search for more answers and find out more about God. I appreciate your efforts.

Write On!
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Review of MOVE FORWARD  
Review by gladiola
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello G. B. Williams
I have read this article and I am providing this review as the last review for the Power Reviewers non-fiction raid.
This article is about what you learned from life, after many of your beloved people have passed away. It is about what matters most.
I think that everyone will have a personal experience to relate to it, and for myself, I have been for a while worried constantly due to instabilities in my country. After my pet's death (who really taught me alot), I just feel that I want to go forward with my life till it is time to depart. If I live, I will do my best, when I die, I'll join him.
I love how you have a clear description for those who passed away and why you love them. I believe that we can always be inspired by them and their thoughts, and pursue what they taught us.
It was a great read.
Write On!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello Princess Zelda
I am here to review your article "7 Glasses Of Pure Love " . I appreciate reviewing me and I am returning the favour.
The title and the brief description are what drew me in to read that article. Love is essential and the article mentions how is of vital importance just as food and water.
I loved how you successfully compared different kinds of food with different cases of love (or lacking love). I also loved how you went even further to compare it with water, which we can't do without. I loved your poem and the 7 glasses seemed an eye grabbing title and the best choice for that article.
Well done and Write On!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello G. B. Williams
I am here to return the favor of reviewing me. I have read"A Response to A Friend"  for the WDC Power reviewers non-fiction raid.
This is the best piece I have read so far and it has the content I really needed. I know how hard it is when we face discrimination according to any criteria ( which is skin colour in your case and religion in mine). I was actually thinking of studying and applying for a certain job but I don't know if I could be considered because of that discrimination. I don't know if it is worth struggling for or not but your content had clear and great answers for me.
The strongest phrases for me were "anything worth having is worth struggling for and working even harder." and "Someone may think that you are second class, but it is up to you to prove them right!"
I think I would get over my fears and go for it. Thank you for an encouraging and a motivating letter with a lot to tell. I am proud of you, too. *Smile*

Write On!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello Sum1
I am here to review your story "Good Samaritan Mother"  for the non-fiction review raid run by WDC Power Reviewers.
The story is a delighting one. I loved how this kind mother made everyone around happy; her family, the family seated next and even yourself. She wanted to make the day for many people and she was just amazing.
This is like a welcome to that guy who came back from serving overseas and I can imagine how amusing the time they spent was. I loved how you unfolded this story and I couldn't help smiling when the kids of both families had a nice time kidding and chatting. It is a beautiful scene that I get in my mind.
I hope we have more kind and generous people and learn not to be self-centered.
Thank you for the sweet read.
I believe you are kind and that is why you got to meet such kind people.
Write On!
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Review of Dear Me  
Review by gladiola
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

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Hello
I have read "Dear Me"  and I am here to offer a brief review. I am returning the favor of reviewing me.
I think that letter is a unique one that you probably wrote to confront yourself with some facts and try to take good decisions for better outcomes. I think it took you quite a while to figure that out and determine how you would act even if it was going to be painful.
I believe that you are a sensitive person and so you don't like to be advised by others and I believe it is true because people wouldn't have to live with the results of the advices they offer, so why should we?
I love that letter but wished if you mentioned at the end if it worked out even partially or not. I always love to hear some more feedback about those Dear me letters, as to follow up with achieving these aims.
It is just a suggestion.
Write On!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello Yellow Rose
I have read "A Letter from Home "  and coming to reciprocate your kind reviews.
I loved the way you stressed the fact that his absence was very clear. I loved how you told him that you know that he is doing a necessary roe that you couldn't do without. It is encouraging and positive. I think it is a heart warming letter for a soldier to keep.
Praying for him is so kind too.
Thanks for sharing that and Write on!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello Yellow Rose
I am here to return the favor of your awesome reviews and wishing me a happy anniversary. That is so kind of you and I really appreciate it.
I chose this to read because I always found that great competition which brings some support to those who serve and may never have someone to ask about them or check on them. I believe it is a great and a kind activity where everyone is a winner in the sense that your message gets to be heard.
I have never read any entries to that contest so I was so glad to find yours.
I love how you tell that serving man to look at the stars. That is so romantic and beautiful to feel linking you both together.
I could feel an amazing sound of pride in this letter and I believe it would be a great thing someone can keep from another person who believes in him and his mission.
Write on!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello Jeannie
Here we are at review 3 of 3.
At your request, I have read "Memories Of Beatrice"  and I have some observations to offer.

Plot: Beatrice is a mysterious lady who had hard parents. She was so much in need of people to befriend her, yet she seemed to prefer loneliness. The plot is a great one with a lot of potential that could be unleashed if it is properly discussed.
My suggestions here would be based on the fact that we (as readers) get to know only what the author tells us. We can’t see the other side. This means, that I don’t see what you haven’t told me unless you left some hints. Another thing is that upon reaching the end of the story, the reader should have logic answers to what happened in the story or why they happened in a certain way.
When I apply this to this story, I come to the end and I still see Beatrice as a mysterious lady. If her father brought her up in a real stiff way, then why didn’t she stick to what she wanted after his death? According to the dates mentioned in the story, the story begins at 1913 and ends at 1948 when Beatrice died of cancer. All those years, why did she remain dressed out of fashion? Why didn’t she marry? I mean a lot of questions here come across my mind.
I feel that this story still needs much work and it is up to you if you are still interested to work on it and use it as a brief story for a longer scenario, according to how you see Beatrice, or you can simply learn the mistakes here and try to avoid them in your future stories.
I think the idea of having several self-portraits hanging seemed to portray her as a psychologically abnormal person. You may stress that or omit it if you want.
Another thing I’d like to comment on is repetition of certain phrases throughout the story like “became a recluse” which is not a healthy thing to do to a story.
Also I have read a useful tip regarding making your story more showing than telling, which is spotting the adjectives in the story and replacing them with more descriptions. For example, instead of saying tired, you could mention the colour of her skin, the darkness below her eyes, you can use metaphor and so on.

I also have to say two parts that affected me personally so much:
*PartyHatG* Once when Beatrice was looking at the modern dresses which women wore and she herself was wearing a really old fashioned outfit. This was really heartbreaking to me. It is hard for a woman to feel she is not as elegant as other lades, no matter what her age is. It is hard to know that despite her pain, she still had a wish to have one of these dresses. This is really powerful.
*PartyHatG* Another one is when she mentioned how her father was hard with her and how she wished she could enjoy her teenage like any other girl and be free to date and later to study what she wished. This is something many people and myself included would relate to, and yeah it hurts no matter if it was over. She seemed a conserved person who realized she had said a lot and decided that it was better to stop where she went.
I feel that Beatrice deserved even one single good thing to cheer her up, maybe a dress or one of her portraits sold by a celebrity even after her death.

Some punctuation errors:
The view of the Atlantic Ocean was just spectacular! (A period is needed instead of an exclamation mark)
along the cliffs, As(as) I walked and enjoyed the view.
were self-portrait's (self-portraits) of her hanging on the wall.
she loved her landscapes that she did of cliffside So did I ( a missing period before so)
a workmen was busy painting (workman)
I guess Beatrice and I were both artist in our own way (was).
sleep, apparently from cancer. I was devastated at first, then thought she was finally at peace The neighbor ( a missing period before “The”).
You have some spacing errors, so you need to be careful to leave a single space after a comma and two spaces after a period.
Another way to easily spot spelling and punctuation mistakes is by simply copying and pasting your story into Microsoft Word, where you’ll find green or red lines under the words that need correction. By standing on the word and clicking a right click, you can know what is wrong with it.
However these are minor mistakes and I won’t mark you down for them.
Write On!
I hope you have enjoyed your package. I have also gifted you 2k raffle tickets from "Invalid Item"  in case you have not been notified.
For any comments, please feel free to let me know.
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Review by gladiola
Rated: E | (4.5)
Okay so you did a good job here, so here is a re-rating from 4 to 4.5. Way to go!
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Hello Jeannie
That is review 2 of 3. I have read {item: 1779607} and I am here to offer my impression and recommendations for improvement.
Before we start off, I need you to know that I am not an experienced author, however, I have just finished a reviewing class at new horizons academy and so I believe I know how to improve pieces and polish them. If you look at my items, you would know that I am not that great author but I believe I am more of a reviewer.

Plot: June was late for work on an important day. She tries very hard to save her time and reach her work quickly. I think the plot is so close to our life and all readers would be able to relate to it through personal experiences. That would enable you to have a broad category of audience who would be there to read and interact with your piece.

The title and brief description need a second thought! The title “just another Monday” is not that attention grabbing one that would convince a reader to stop and feel curious to know what happened at that day. Writing a story is probably about having something interesting to say so if it is a Monday just like any other, then there isn’t much to tell ( which is not the case with your story where June faces some really hard incidents, from riding a bike to being chased by dogs and finally stopped by the police.) I would suggest changing it to something more mysterious like “racing with time” or you can think of a better choice. The brief description also made me believe that her day was much worse. I was rather surprised to find that I have already reached the end where she had only arrived ten minutes late, yet gave a great plan to her boss and making him so happy about, it. I thought to myself “why did she say that EVERYTHING went wrong?” She was able to save the rest of the day and do some good. That would make the reader think that her boss wouldn’t like her plan or she would find she had already lost it or maybe the dogs shredded it, but not had a good end. I recommend working on it to suit the way you want your story to be.


My impression: it is a realistic short story where an employee works hard to reach her work and even takes her daughter bike and does whatever it takes to go there. She is very flexible and a strong lady.

Suggestions:

Regarding the story:
*ConfettiG* “Nothing happened! I tried again, nothing. “ Repeating the word “nothing” that close didn’t seem like a good idea to me. You could go for “one more time but it seems that it isn’t my lucky day”.
*ConfettiG* The story needs a balance between showing and telling and I think this one is more towards telling, so to fix that, here are my observations:
What to do…what to do… I think that the reader already knows that, so there is no need to say it again. That phrase can be safely omitted.

*ConfettiG* “I spotted my daughter’s bike in the garage. Could I? I can't ride a bike in high heels, wearing a tight skirt! I admonished myself” You can go for something like “I spotted my daughter’s bike sparkling with home. But could I really ride a bike in my tight skirt and with my high heels?”
I think that some more inner thinking would do some good to this story.
*ConfettiG* Also when June actually got on bike and started her way, I expected more comments from people, maybe some of them would see it as a hot thing, maybe she would face some difficulty in using the paddles with her classic shoes, her trouble could sound like funny or even sad, but we here just know that it wasn’t so easy for her which we already know.
*ConfettiG* “chase that unnerved” unnerved me didn’t seem like so much scared, which she would be so it could be like terrified and you can go to even showing describing if she felt her hair standing up, or she felt a shiver going through her body as a wave.

Finally we have the punctuation and grammar mistakes:
I admonished myself, I almost fell (a missing period).
I continue (continued) cycling until I reached a stop sign
I’ll be just a few minutes late. If that’s a thought, then it should be written in italics.
.“Yes, sorry.” I smiled. “I didn't mean to, it changed so quickly.” Great, I sound like a dumb blond! Extra period at the beginning.
That is a good story and it would take a little more to be much better. I am not trying to be nitpicking but I am trying to be helpful.





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Review of Starlit Sky  
Review by gladiola
Rated: E | (5.0)
Congratulations on the first place honey. That poem is well-written and it is a well deserved award. *Smile*
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Review of What If?  
Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
 What If?  (E)
Dreaming of a world where all is changed, maybe lost. But on awakening, all is the same
#1682750 by Sum1

Hello Jim
I chose to read this poem because I found it among your highlighted items and I needed to apply my dynamic reviewing class rules to a poem. So here I am coming with a severe review, the kindness is now gone. *Smirk*

Tone and mood: The tone is a very beautiful, colourful and contemplative one. The man is addressing the lady he loves in a very delicate manner. The mood is so romantic. He can't do without his soul mate and that is real love. (the theme as well.) ( or the one in movies, I don't know. *Smile*)

Rhyme, Form, and Flow:
Rhyme existed between the first and second lines of each stanza, in some stanzas the third and fourth lines also rhymed. This appealed to my auditory senses when read out loud. I felt that it was essential for the content and not written merely for the sake of rhyming.

The rhythm flows well but there no fixed meter ( or a constant number of syllables in each line or a certain pattern for stanzas. The consistency from one stanza to the other, provided a smooth read.

The emotional impact started as the author made the reader imagine life if the organisms swapped their conditions together and made everything upside down coming to the conclusion that his own life would be upside down if it wasn't for the lady he loves. Imagining this upside down life made the reader think and imagine what the wuthor is saying.

Personal impression:
I find this poem a straightforward one, not mysterious and no vague meanings. I love how romantic and sweet it is. My favorite part was the last stanza"At first wakening, on you my eyes did feast." He found her nearby and he knew his life is going on well as it should be. That is amazing!

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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello bordoichila
I am gladiola and I am pleased to offer my review for your poem entitled One more mark to pass.

I am returning your favor *Wink*, no I am sincerely coming to read this.

*RollEyes*Concept/Premise :*RollEyes*

Parents who are very demanding and are never satisfied with whatever their children do. I was very much touched by this premise and that's why I chose to read it. I, myself, has experienced this and so I know what it means. Though I got A+, still never enough!


*Reading*Overall impression :*Reading*

I think you must be a very practical person because of the way in which you say this poem. You wrote it down using few words and short sentences, yet delivering an important message to parents who are unaware that they are destroying their kids.


*ThumbsUp*What I liked most : *ThumbsUp*
I kind of laughed at the ending, it wasn't expected for me, but actually that made the theme more effective and have a greater impact on the reader. It is really sad though.


*Sun*Suggestions/Comments :*Sun*

I don't have any suggestions toi improve it and I believe that poetry is about feelings so I can't dictate an author what to do except if it was a mistake with the poetry aspects which is not here. You did a good job and a good start on WDC. *Delight*



Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
William Wordsworth



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Reviewed By Gladiola


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Maryann - House Martell
I am gladiola and I am pleased to offer my review for your article entitled Aunt Dottie, My Computer Inspiration .
As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

*RollEyes*Concept/Premise :*RollEyes*

The one who encouraged you to find out how a computer works and try it for yourself. This is definitely an interesting thing to learn because those who don't know how to use a computer miss a lot specially in this world where computer plays a great role.


*Reading*Overall impression :*Reading*

I liked how your aunt Dottie has helped you learn about computers and even mark your place within WDC. It is a great thing to remember that she was the one who made you believe that you could try it and learn. You became a moderator here and you definitely help a lot of members and she helped you greatly by just showing how you could just use your computer.


*ThumbsUp*What I liked most : *ThumbsUp*
That is the most interesting part to me "Now it is a chain reaction of good deeds. When I encourage a newbie, or wish a long-time member well on Writing.com, it wouldn’t be possible if Aunt Dottie didn’t have this positive impact on my life! "

*Sun*Suggestions/Comments :*Sun*

You did a great job writing this and probably inspiring others to learn new things they never thought they were capable of. That is review 3 of 3. I hope you have enjoyed your package.
You have been very patient and so I bought you 5 tickets to "Invalid Item" 



Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
William Wordsworth



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Reviewed By Gladiola


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Maryann - House Martell
I am gladiola and I am pleased to offer my review for your articleentitled My Trip to Australia.
As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

*RollEyes*Concept/Premise :*RollEyes*

A guide to the most must-see attractions in Australia. That is an interesting topic and so I chose to read it because I have never been there and I would love to know some of the amazing places it has to offer.


*Reading*Overall impression :*Reading*

I enjoyed reading this and following your links to find out more. I loved how you supported your article with photos and how you mentioned everything from places to visit to prices.


*ThumbsUp*What I liked most : *ThumbsUp*
I loved talking about animals and zoos. This seems the most beautiful part of Australia to me, the awesome Koala, Emu, Kangaroos and flying boxes are just amazing. I wish I could see them and have photos with them one day.

*Sun*Suggestions/Comments :*Sun*

I think you covered it well so i don't think I have any suggestions to offer here.


Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
William Wordsworth



Write on!

*Vine1* Thanks For Sharing *Vine2*

Reviewed By Gladiola


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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73
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Maryann
This is review 1 of 3. Thank you for bidding on my package at "Invalid Item" 

Concept: A letter an alien is writing to his friend from The Earth. This is quite an interesting and unique concept. I don't think I have ever come across a similar one before and this will help it have more audience. The idea of "us" being strange to others is a real hilarious one.

Tone and mood:
The tone was rather full of exclamation and wonder. I loved how Pam was just amazed and contemplative of the "human body and how it walks", "the wind and the blue sky' and "the shade". That created such a funny mood and I enjoyed reading these observations from the perspective of a fellow planet inhabitant. *Laugh*

My favorite parts were:
*Ornament2V* The scene of learning to walk and how they kept falling and laughing. I couldn't help to smile while reading it. That description is hilarious and skillful.
*Ornament2V* Seeing that bunny and having the privilege of having a shade is exciting.

Suggestions:
He was so mad because we didn’t take the practice serious.(seriously)
I also wished to know how these aliens body looked like. I think a bit of contrast is going to be so funny and would make the story more interesting.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Joy
I am gladiola and I am pleased to offer my review for your article entitled Creating Motion in Fiction .
As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

*RollEyes*Concept/Premise :*RollEyes*

Show, don't tell. I chose to read it because it was part of this week's assignment at dynamic reviewing and because it is a point of weakness that I have.


*Reading*Overall impression :*Reading*

I think your article is one of the best ones discussing this issue. You discussed it in simple words, and gave practical examples to show what you mean. The article didn't have unnecessary details, it was rather attention grabbing at each word.

*ThumbsUp*What I liked most : *ThumbsUp*
} I loved the two ways to fix that show not tell issue in one's work because it is usually hard for me to figure where I should fix that, so i end fixing what I receive in reviews only and still get the same advice, show not tell. I found these ways very practical and help one improve.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
William Wordsworth



Write on!

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Reviewed By Gladiola


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of An Onion  
Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Princess Zelda
I am gladiola and I am pleased to offer my review for your poementitled An onion.
As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

*RollEyes*Concept/Premise :*RollEyes*

An onion. I chose to read this because it is so sweet to see you portraying poems that are written by your niece. I wish I had an uncle like you instead of throwing away what I wrote as a kid. Anyway I am glad I am getting to see her talent and return your review. *Delight*


*Reading*Overall impression :*Reading*

The poem is an interesting one. It is short, yet it is well written. It shows a real talent, and it flows so well. I could imagine that beautiful onion and I loved how she well defended it and said that it brings joy through its beautiful taste not just tears. I think I'll come back to read what she read because I love simply beautiful writing.

*Magnify*Spelling and grammar :*Magnify*

perfect


Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
William Wordsworth



Write on!

*Vine1* Thanks For Sharing *Vine2*

Reviewed By Gladiola


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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