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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/huntersmoon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/23
Review Requests: OFF
3,120 Public Reviews Given
3,261 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
I'm good at...
Short Stories and better at Poetry
Favorite Genres
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Public Reviews
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551
551
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a terrific write. I saw this form posted in today's Poem a Day and went to Google it - and here you are *Laugh*

I love the power and message you were able to squeeze into this tiny form. Great job - great poem!

Ken *Smile*
552
552
Review of FINAL FLAME  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1647708 Unavailable ** What a great story and homage to those who risk all for neighbors and strangers. Bravo, Julie - an inspired write!

Ken
553
553
Review of Overcoming Fears  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good form! This was an iteresting form, I thought, but the awkward and short syllable counts made it harder to really get a flow going. You didn't seem to have that problem *Laugh* although line 6 is a good example of what I mean. "The Divine will tame my fears" versus "My fears the Devine will tame." Still, overall, you made it work. *Thumbsup*

I like your statement of faith and I loved the self-responsibility tone. We can't just sit idly by waiting in God's welfare line *Smile* - it's up to each to "pick up the pace!" Amen *Smile*

Nicely done.

Ken
554
554
Rated: E | (5.0)
It seems the even small nonsense
can raise one's hackles in defense
and keep us hanging in suspense.
It's just pretense, it's just pretense!

*Smile* Well done and a fun read!

All the best,

Ken
555
555
Review of The Perfect Car  
Rated: E | (5.0)
LOL 5 *Star* for optimism! If you can come up with that car, you'd be worshipped by the commuters around here *Laugh*

Thank you for the fantasy and the smile. Very enjoyable!

Ken

Hmmm - look at line 4 - I think it should be "floats"
556
556
Review of NO TIME  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Deanna *Smile*

Nicely done! I'm not a big fan of free-verse (sue me, I'm a rhymer *Laugh*) but this form gives such a great visual and you've used it to perfection. I can see the sand falling through the hour glass in it's shape until ... it runs out - late!

This is a great example of matching form to subject and another reason why contests such as yours are important. Great poem well executed!

Ken
557
557
Review of Ain't she my kin  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi CREEK

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Ain't she my kin"  [E].

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
So true! Although I quiver at the use of "ain't" *Laugh* I love the message.

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
You highlight all the wonderful aspects of nature that we take for granted each day, posing her as the nuturer, the sustainer, the mother who gives to her children and goes without. An important message and one that should resonate with all.

*NoteG* Content:
From creation through today, you make the case for all the good that the earth has done. I think you could have gone a bit further and made the case that we, in return, owe a debt. I have been through this with my own kids and it's a lesson they had to learn just as we, as responsible family, must learn about this beautiful world we live in. I thought the ending "though she is dying" left a negative image. Unlike us, she doesn't have to. This is a case more akin to murder than the natural cycles that we as temporal beings are subject to. Okay - enough pontificating on my part *Laugh* The message was wonderful and you get 5 *Star* for that!

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I noted a few minor grammatical mistakes that can be easily remedied if you choose to do so *Smile*.
Line 1: "who created. Past tense to keep consistency of voice.
Line 4: "who hugs." Verb conflict - hug is singular; us all is plural.
Line 8: "who quenches my voracious ... " Quench is first person but here you're refering to her actions.

Nothing major - just minor distractions that don't diminish the impact or creativity of this wonderful poem.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* A thoroughly enjoyable read! A little polish and this jewel will shine! Thank you sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the happiness of the season,

Ken
** Image ID #1626620 Unavailable **

PS I'm returning your GPs - The pleasure was all mine and no other rewards are required! *Smile*
558
558
Review of Warning  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi April *Smile*

Perfect form and dark words - a great combination! My hesitation lies in line 2 ... some what? I'm assuming that you meant "people" or "souls" but the way it's written it just seems to leave me hanging waiting for the next word. Perhaps you meant that ambiguity ... it does add an element of mystery but then again, so does the poem *Smile*

Nicely done.

Ken
PS I'm returning the GPs. This is what we do for each other LOL. There's no other reward needed.
559
559
Review of Indulge!  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You're evil *Laugh* I'm off to bed and know, instead of hot dreams all I'll be able to think of is food!

Great form, evil words ... but well done.

Ken
560
560
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Beautifully said. In this, of all seasons, we should never forget the less fortunate for they are among our blessings.

Bravo!

Ken
561
561
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi MagicMoneyMike *Smile*

A dark but interesting story well told. I will admit I don't get the connection between the title and words but that's most likely my failing *Smile*

I really like the story that's here and the innocence of children is shown but not overplayed. There was one small convention error - typically if you're using dialogue it's in quotes. I say, "No," but I have. True enough, it could be seen as a telling so I'm just pointing it out .

This is totally free-verse so I'm concerned that the judges won't see this a narrative poem which does have some conventions. Rhyme is typical, although blank-verse is totally acceptable. In my research for this form I found that the consensus was that "Narrative poems are usually nondramatic, with objective regular scheme and meter."

Regardless of the judges decision, I really liked your poem - and a poem it is indeed. *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing this with me today.

All the best,

Ken
562
562
Review of Chew on This  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Liam ...

What a rollicking read *Laugh* I love the meter and form you've chosen - it skips and dances and makes the words vibrant.

Fabulous - need I say more? *Bigsmile*

Ken
563
563
Review of A Mermaid's Tears  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Bertie

And you were kind enough to send me encouraging words - I can see that you need few. This was beautiful and tinged with all the emotions that love has to offer. Congratulations on winning the contest - you have touched many with your words.

Ken *Smile*
564
564
Review of Dog  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Heart warming and a brilliant write. Doesn't take too many characters to say that *Laugh*

Ken

PS - no need for GPs - reading this was reward enough *Smile*
565
565
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a collection *Shock* What a legacy of the *Heart*

Ken *Smile*
566
566
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Plain spoken, plain truth *Smile* You are the epitome of your lyrics, my friend. You carry that sunshine within you and share it with all you meet. Thank you for sharing your talent and your warm sunshine *Bigsmile*

Ken
567
567
Review of Loving Hands  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very nice take on the prompt - going beyond the visual to the emotional content. It's not the gift, it's the giving.

Great form. My only comment is that this isn't an "18+" poem *Smile* unless you had images in your head while writing it! *Laugh* I'd lower it to "E" so that more folks will have access to read it.

Well done!

Ken
568
568
Review of The Small Gift  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Spoken like a true "chocoholic" *Laugh* Nicely done with perfect form and sure to bring a smile.

Excellent take on the prompt.

Ken
569
569
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done *Smile*

The contrast of the two families amply illustrates that no matter where we find ourselves, there's always something to give thanks for ... and there's always someone listening.

Well done,

Ken
570
570
Review of The Anti-Christ  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello *Smile*

I've had the pleasure of reading your poem "The Anti-Christ" written for Pond Poetry.

A very interesting take on the prompt! Now that I look at the picture again, I can see where this was born *Smile*. I really like that you made this a speech by the Dark One - almost Dante-ish in tone. "Abandon hope all ye who enter here." It brings a chill to the write. Likewise, the sparing use of punctuation also plays into the overall theme.

My only concern is line 3; try as I might, I couldn't find any place where "every" is recognized as having three syllables. I know - in Texas it does *Laugh* having lived there for several years - but I think you're going to have an issue with syllable count when the judges read it. Just my thoughts ...

A really good read. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today!

Ken
571
571
Review of Old Home  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Carl - Just dropping by to return the favor *Smile*

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Old Home"  [E].

*Music1* First Impression/Thoughts:
A gentle homage to the memory of home.

*Music2* Creativity/Impact:
I think we all can identify with this. Like your username, this is a familar spirit *Smile*. How often have we - in idle moments - not dreamt or imagined returning to the home of our youth? Still, as Thomas Wolf said - "you can't go home again" except in through the door of memory.

*Music1* Content:
You write of returning home to a time of "before." Nice, gentle imagery recall your family and the warm setting of childhood. My only critical comment is ... MORE! You leave us hanging and, even under the commanding shade of the maple, it's not enough *Laugh*.

*Music2* Technical Notes:
Only minor errors noted. Just as a note, "maple" doesn't require capitalization. I noted that you made each line a sentence - but lines 3 and 4 of stanza 1 are really just one sentence (line 4 is a fragment). I'd recommend using enjambment and just let the sentence continue from one line to the next.

Nice solid rhymes and an even cadance make this a pleasure to read.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* and a *Halfstar* More! (Hmmm, I'm repeating myself *Laugh*) A lovely start down memory lane - please, continue the journey. A warm and happy read. Well done.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
572
572
In affiliation with Two-in-One Poetry Contest Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Summer Wind is Healing

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Cast Down At Mercy's Feet"  [18+] on behalf of the "Two-in-One Poetry Contest"  [13+].

*Music1* First Impression/Thoughts:
I'm conflicted *Smile* I enjoyed your vision of suicide (albeit, from a literary perspective - not one who has ever contemplated it) but it runs at odds with my own views. That is the beauty of poetry - we each have our own inner visions and that allows us to challenge others, to find common ground, and to find fresh perspectives.

*Music2* Creativity/Impact:
There was a staccato feel to this - short bursts of feelings - which clearly showed a panicked feel as the emotions overwhelmed the writer. Excellent approach that brought the feelings to the forefront of the words.

*Music1* Content:
Almost vignette in feel, you present a series of thoughts/feelings/emotions that lead to suicide. I felt that your approach was effective but ultimately unsatisfying in that it was too brief. You didn't allow the reader beyond these brief flashes to understand what was driving the feelings. Since I'm assuming most readers will not have experienced them, it's difficult for many to "fill in the blanks" without some insight from the author. Think of it as taking us on a new trail but then leaving us without a guide *Smile*.

*Music2* Technical Notes:
Well written and well crafted! Poets have explained that free verse, despite its freedom, is not free. Free Verse (or vers libre *Bigsmile*) displays some elements of form. Most free verse continues to observe a convention of the poetic line - in other words, it should "feel like poetry" even without rhyme. I didn't get that from this write. Please, this is not criticism but my own feelings. You are the poet and, in the end, that's what matters.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* An interesting and worthy write. I appreciate your perspective of this ultimate yielding to the painful process of living.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
573
573
Review of A Magic Lamp  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Liam

It's just me, Ken *Smile*, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "A Magic Lamp"  [E].

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
I'm speechless (almost LOL). What a terrific sonnet! This, my friend, is perfect - not only in form and style but in message.

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
I must admit - the form is not the easiest but it's easy to overlook due to content. What a great message and your chosen form carries the reader through your powerful images almost without thinking. Excellent write.

*NoteG* Content:
"A lamp within the darkness of despair" - that's the heart of this wonderfully written poem and you have created a shining light with your images and flowing poetry.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I am one of life's "iambically challenged" but even I could see that you have mastered the meter in this. There's nothing I can suggest that be of help. A personal note: I'm not a big fan of centered poetry unless - as in a diamente - the form requires it. This would feel more Shakespearean left aligned - but certainly, you're the poet and centering doesn't distract from the flowing words or meaning.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* OK - I'm officially jealous *Laugh* This is a wonderfully crafted and written Sonnet. Thank you very much for sharing your talent and imagination with me today. It's very much appreciated.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1707100 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
574
574
Review of UNDER THE STARS  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Beautiful entry, Julie ... there's nothing to comment on that would improve this. You write with your heart and weave such classic emotions into your verses - I really stand in awe. I know that this is only part imagination and can feel the memories flowing in this just below the surface. May you always have those stars to remind you and to treasure.

Ken
575
575
Review of NATURE'S BOUNTY  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
An inspired write, my friend. *Smile* You've not only captured the beauty of the image but also included the subtle wonders of summer, nature, and the creator in "Colors captured by a painter's steady brush" in this touching write. I think you've bested me by far! A lovey and beautiful poem.

Ken
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