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Review Requests: OFF
3,120 Public Reviews Given
3,261 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
I'm good at...
Short Stories and better at Poetry
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Public Reviews
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526
526
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done. I did a "singularity" story just the other day and am writing an expanded version for Separate Worlds - of course, my ending was totally different LOL I figure if I destroy the world, then no one will read it *Laugh*

Great job with this. A few very minor punctuation errors (look at the last sentence: "Well Schrodinger (comma)” Friedler said turning to his cat (comma)“looks like the stupid boy just destroyed the solar system”(period). A quick reread and you'll catch any others.

Best of luck,

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
527
527
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Mr. Owl *Smile*

Welcome to Flash Fiction! My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "An essential tool " .

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
Nicely done. A great fantasy story. Who doesn't love wand stories? (Thank you J.K. Rowling LOL)

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
This was very imaginative. You gave us enough detail to transport ourselves to "Ozark Forrest" and get caught up in the adventure.

*Star* Plot/Content:
This is a "coming of age" tale about a young wizard who is on a quest to find his wand. Due to the space limits, we only get to share a small slice of the adventure but you did a really good job for having so few words. You gave us the required setting, character, conflict and resolution. Kudos!

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
As often happens with new writers (at least the one's I've seen here), the issue isn't in the tale, it's in the telling. This story would benefit from a good editing. There's nothing major, mind you but there's a series of small errors which detract from the reading. Here are a few examples. I've rewritten the lines and added a note about the change I'd recommend.
P2: "(quote) A wand is a Sorcerer's (apostrophe - possessive) most valuable tool. Even if one channels his power through the hands, (comma) a wand is essential," (comma, unquote) his (lowercase) Master had explained.
P3: His Master hadn’t explained how to find his wand, (comma) only that it would come to him. (not a complete sentence)

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An enjoyable read. I encourage you to continue to write ... and, read other's works as well. You'll be amazed at how quickly you'll pick up the technical side of writing. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best ... and hope to see you tomorrow!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
528
528
Review of Dead Battery  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You little devil - trying to slip in one of your imaginative yarns without so much as "Hey I posted!" *Laugh*

Fantasy! Well done. I switched genre's too - to scifi *Bigsmile*

Best of luck (not that you need it) ... and I won't point out the the last person who I heard complain about a dead battery was an ex-girlfriend LMAO

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
529
529
Review of Lento Poem  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cherokee Rose

My name is Ken (aka HuntersMoon) and I'm one of the first class of Paper Dolls (or whatever we're called *Laugh*) Ghostranch has suggested we team up in the "Mirrored Voices" contest so I thought I'd drop by and get a sense of your writing style.

To my surprise, one of the first items I saw was a Lento. This form was created by Lencio Rodriguez who I've talked to many times. In fact, he's chosen several of my Lento's to be in his new book due out this fall. My personal favorite is one called "County Fair"  which was written as a triple lento with double rhyme.

Enough about me - this review is about you!

I really like your vision of Grandma's garden. It's simple, direct, and leaves the reader enough room to imagine themselves there. The fact that you introduced an ending rhyme also strengthens the poetic feel of this. The uniqueness of the Lento is that the first word in each stanza is the rhyme word.

The first stanza is a bit weak since you didn't use perfect rhymes. While "ing" words generally have the same sound, they're imperfect or near rhymes.

The second stanza is spot on! Good job.

*Star**Star**Star**Star* This was a terrific first effort; I'm assuming "first" since I know the form is not widely known and few attempt it *Laugh*. Your enthusiasm comes through clearly. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
530
530
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Princess Megan Rose 22 Years

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Gypsies, Dragons, Magic and a Princess"  just for the heck of it (LOL). Actually, I saw your post in Stormy's contest and was curious.

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
A fairy tale! This sounded a lot like the kind of story I'd come up with to tell my granddaughter at bed time. Of course, she'd insist on more unicorns but ... *Laugh*

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
A very creative use of the "must have" words, although I will say that it does follow "a path well traveled." When I first saw the words, this is the kind of tale that came to mind.

*Star* Plot/Content:
The princess runs away from a father's demands and, in the end, lives happily ever after ... well, almost. The addition of pirates makes me wonder if you're setting up your next tale *Smile* You told the story very straight forward; I think you could have embellished the details to add some depth to the story. I would have liked to see more context.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
Prose is a form of language which applies ordinary grammatical structure and natural flow of speech rather than rhythmic structure (as in traditional poetry). Typically, the lines flow into what most consider paragraphs. I think your use of versification helps this retain a poetic feel and read less like a short story.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An enjoyable read. Your imagination and love for this kind of tale comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
531
531
Review of Spring  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi dragonline (dragon online)

So, you're a poet as well *Smile* I should warn you, poetry is my first love. (Gee, did I just "unmask" myself? LOL)

OK, so on to the review. My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Spring" . I like to use a format so I can try and do a thorough review.

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
Definitely poetry *Smile* No, I'm not being a wise@$$. There's a flow and feel to poetry (as opposed to prose) and I found that in your writing. Too many want to reconfigure sentences and call it poetry which it isn't.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
Great imagery. I love the personification and the references to humanity: "pray with upturned .." "shivering soul" (nice alliteration). You've set a wonderful tone with your words.

*Star* Plot/Content:
This is pretty much straight forward. This is your vision of spring and it's journey toward awakening. Some of the lines were clearly descriptions of what you were seeing in your mind as you wrote this. Without your "vision" not all were successful. The line "As icy dreams, gathering sweeps" lost me which made me stop and broke the rhythm of the read. Remember, we can't "see" what you're looking at except through your words. Make the images clear to those of us who read it blind.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
First and foremost, I didn't notice any SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar). Thank you for that. It makes reading so much more enjoyable. *Smile* This was a contemplative write and I think there was a beauty and gentleness in each line that most readers would relate to.

Form: Free verse is, despite its freedom, not entirely free. Free verse displays some elements of form. Most free verse, for example, self-evidently continues to observe a convention of the poetic line in some sense. I found that in your writing. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* An enjoyable read. Your images and words comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

PS Sending back the GPs. The opportunity to read is always sufficient reward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
532
532
Review of Born Again  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jim *Bigsmile*

I see you haven't lost your old form. What a great scifi tale. While I'm not 100% sure, I see this as a hibernation pod for extended space travel. I do hope Stella wasn't a "mail-order" bride to some bare-bones outpost. Not only will the recipient be surprised, so will Joshua when he finds out his intended is a "any port in a storm" kind of guy. LMAO

I do miss reading you and hope you'll stay for a while.

With sincere appreciation for your talent ...

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
533
533
Review of I'll try  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Redbc~call me nothing.

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "I'll try"  as a featured work in the "Talent Pond's Estuary"  .

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
Somewhere along the way, you lost me. The way this reads it seems "Mom" is the same as "my love" ... which doesn't seem like what you're trying to say unless your Oedipus, in which case, I apologize *Smile*

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
I saw this as heartfelt and genuine. There's strong emotion in this and that comes through clearly.

*Star* Plot/Content:
This is your view of what it means to be a man. You need to be aware that all of the feelings you had when writing this aren't generally shared by your audience. Poets write both to express their inner feelings and the open a pathway for sharing. I find it helpful to write, wait a day, and then read what I've written. Sometimes you can be so close to a work that you don't see what you've left out to clearly communicate to others.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
Poets have explained that free verse is, despite its freedom, not entirely free. Free verse displays some elements of form. Most free verse, for example, self-evidently continues to observe a convention of the poetic line in some sense, at least in written representations, though retaining a potential degree of linkage, however nebulous, with more traditional forms.

I would, as a matter of preference, avoid slang such as "ain't." They way it appears in this poem is jarringly out of place with the language you used in the rest of the poem.

As I'm sure you'll hear *Smile*, "god" is capitalized unless you're not referring to the Creator.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An enjoyable read. Your enthusiasm and sincerity comes through clearly. Continue to write, to express, and you will find your style and voice. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

PS I'm returning your GPs. New members may need encouragement - old ones like me do this as a "Thank You" to all those who've helped along the way.
534
534
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi A*Monaing*Faith

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Thankful Freestyle"  as a featured work in the "Talent Pond's Estuary"  .

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
I was a bit confused, at first, until I realized that this was a response to the newsletter ... which you included *Laugh*

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
This was imaginative but, in the end, a bit too predictable. I really enjoyed the "imaginary dog" and there's a joy in your words that comes through and leaves the reader smiling.

*Star* Plot/Content:
As I said - a bit simplistic but perfectly appropriate for a response. Since the theme was "thankful" I did find "hate my job" a bit out of character.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
Since you did announce this as "freeform" there's no right or wrong. I didn't notice any SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar). This was a joyful write and more than that, you can't ask.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* An enjoyable read. Your enthusiasm comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
535
535
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Teal1355

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work " Magic, Fishy Water"  as a featured work in the "Talent Pond's Estuary" .

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
Satire you say? I'd say this is more of a morality play that offers hope to the reader! It would seem that everyone (except the carp, of course) is a winner.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
This was a very imaginative tale. Your language was well chosen and images clear, evoking the emotional memories of those days long past when life was simple and each day a new discovery. Excellent work.

*Star* Plot/Content:
You kept the plot going, adding layer by layer the next revelation of how #2153 evolved and finally filled his (its?) mission. Like building an edifice, you layered each image on the previous until a complete story was told. This was not a random tale, it was a journey to enlightenment.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
The story was a bit draggy at first due mainly to its total reliance on narrative. One technique you could use is when #2153 is having his awareness, use internal dialogue which is most often shown in italics. At least I can offer Teal one helpful hint ... Oops! Did I say that out loud? *Laugh*

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A totally enjoyable read on all levels. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
536
536
Review of The Steel Dragon  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Rondeau! Nice to see someone else loves form poetry. Personally, I'm totally addicted *Laugh*

Content: This recalls "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." A very nice (and not obvious) use of the prompts that takes the words in a unique direction. Very creative and well done.

From a form POV, my understanding is that while there's no set meter, the lines (other than the refrain) should be consistent. You could tighten up the form just a bit.

An enjoyable read of a talented write. Thank you for sharing your gifts and imagination with me.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
537
537
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Maya ...

Just returning the favor *Bigsmile* "Appomattox?" I'm guessing you're a Virginia girl. Actually, I live just up the road from there myself. But, enough of the chit chat.

So far, I think you have good bones for your story. There are some minor technical errors - switching tenses, etc. - but certainly nothing that won't be caught during proofing. I felt some of the parts needed a bit of fleshing out. The introduction of the raven was rather sudden and I'm not sure that anyone experiencing it would be as non-plused as the heroine appears and ... I don't know her name or really anything about her. You describe Carson and the teachers but never introduce us to who she is.

You're not quite Christopher Paolini (who wrote Eragon when he was 16) but I think the originality and mysterious nature of your tale will make a terrific story - Can't wait to read more.

Keep writing every day ...

Ken
538
538
Review of Apprehension  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Ever-learning

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Apprehension"  [E] on behalf of the Rising Star's "Rising to The Challenge Contest 2012"  [E]

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
An internal dialogue filled with youthful angst.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
I appreciate the approach you chose, setting the scene and running through the "what ifs?" while dealing with your own insecurities. I think you've translated that well into something many of the readers will identify with. It's that connection that makes this unique.

*Star* Plot/Content:
Nice flow and mix of worries and your own projections about what may happen. A few disconnects for me - such as in verse 10: "Will you dare to join me in my dream; or can we call it "ours"?" Perhaps "and can we..." The "or" implies a choice but both statements are the same.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
A word of caution - Poets have explained that free verse, despite its freedom, is not free. Free verse displays some elements of form. Free verse (or verse libre as the sophisticates call it LOL) retains the elements of poetry without the rhyme. You've done a good job using form to keep this flowing and finding common ground with traditional poetry.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* An enjoyable read that I feel sure many will connect with. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1526520 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
539
539
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ms NCT

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "November Poetry Entry - YOLO"  [E] on behalf of the Rising Star's "Rising to The Challenge Contest 2012"  [E]

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
You are quite mature for a "young writer from Scotland." *Laugh* Yes, I peeked at your port before I read this to get a better sense of who you are. It helps sometimes when you're looking a someone's work to understand a bit about the author. Not that I'm saying a work shouldn't stand on its own - to the contrary, it must - but for contests, it helps {e:smile).

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
This was an interesting approach, almost more dialogue than poetry. That's the delicate line you walk when you undertake free verse.

*Star* Plot/Content:
Nice flow to the poem, logically moving from choice to choices that "he" made to choices you've made. It does, however, leave the reader to wonder about what sort of relationship you two had. Were you friends, lovers, or just classmates. Why do you care?

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
A word of caution - Poets have explained that free verse, despite its freedom, is not free. Free verse displays some elements of form. Free verse (or verse libre as the sophisticates call it LOL) retains the elements of poetry without the rhyme. You've done a good job using form to keep this flowing and finding common ground with traditional poetry.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* {e:star} *Halfstar* An enjoyable and thought provoking write. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1526520 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
540
540
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Angels in my Ear

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Looking Through Windows"  [13+] on behalf of the Rising Star's "Rising to The Challenge Contest 2012"  [E]

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
This is a conversation we've all had with a loved one whether directly or internally. It is born of love and held in fear.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
As you so poignantly state - this is a dialogue that takes strength to share and so, most often, it remains internal or only finds light through our pens on pages. Be brave - share it.

*Star* Plot/Content:
This was written as a lament for a friend who has lost their way following an apparition of life. Too often, we follow a dream never realizing that it has no substance ... and never wanting to know. Your choice of "looking through windows" was very apropos and a great metaphor.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
Free verse (or verse libre as the sophisticates call it LOL) retains the elements of poetry without the rhyme. You've done a good job using enjambment and form to keep this flowing and finding common ground with traditional poetry. I found some of the lines very long which takes this to the edge of dialogue or soliloquy and out of the realm of poetry.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* Very enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1526520 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
541
541
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi riddick

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Almost there............."  [E] on behalf of the Rising Star's "Rising to The Challenge Contest 2012"  [E]

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
Too many questions and not many answers *Laugh* You've definitely got metaphors down pat.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
I found this to be a bit confusing. Each line held a questioning statement which, on its own, made sense. Taken as a whole, however, and I lost the common theme other than a general "Why Am I Here?"

*Star* Plot/Content:
This seemed to be a collection of your thoughts on life as you've experienced it. Some of the metaphors left me scratching my head such as "Faith keeps calling yet no one is alive to beckon to its call, so it roams like a lost puppy." I had on idea what you were trying to say.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
Free verse (or verse libre as the sophisticates call it LOL) retains the elements of poetry without the rhyme. Free verse, despite its freedom, is not free. Free verse displays some elements of form. Most free verse, for example, continues to observe a convention of the poetic line in some sense. This was more along the lines of dialogue or a soliloquy.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* and *Halfstar* You certainly raise some challenging points and ask the reader to question their own lives - and that's a powerful thing to accomplish. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1526520 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
542
542
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi ChakraLight

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Voices of Halloween."  [13+] on behalf of the Rising Star's "Rising to The Challenge Contest 2012"  [E]

*Star* First Impression/Thoughts:
Hmmm. From England, are you? Straight from the historical pages of Whitehall *Laugh*

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
Certainly in keeping with the spirit of the holiday! The use of a children's rhyme adds a great contrast to the subject of murder and I thought increased the horror/creepiness of your write.

*Star* Plot/Content:
Nice flow to the poem. Your words create a picture of a young person sitting amidst the carnage of a grisly murder taking in the realization of what he/she's done. I thought the plot, while not new, was well presented and I think the ending was excellent.

*Star* Technique/Technical Notes:
A few minor things ... Verse 2 "Was it my fault, Did they all have to die?" I think a question mark instead of a comma would help since it was two separate questions. Other than that, perfect *Thumbsup*

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* Enjoyable and creepy (LOL). Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1526520 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
543
543
Review of Caveman  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Bigsmile* Very clever and the perfect approach for a flash fiction round. I didn't see any technical issues (spelling, punctuation, or grammar). I think that you could use a bit of structural enhancements - break this into paragraphs and add some white space for ease of reading. Overall - great job!

Best of luck,

Ken
544
544
Review of Cute Guy Tim  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
OMG - laughed my ass butt off! Been there, done that - well, not exactly that - and went homing laughing at "how stupid can one man be?" If you want to read about my great times, please check out "First Date(s) - Again" .

I think anyone who reads either this or mine will understand where the grey hair comes from (LOL).

Ken
545
545
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A really great entry. We hope to see you back this month!

Happy New Year.

Ken
546
546
Review of Home Fires  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (5.0)
One of my all time favorite forms! *Laugh* You should also check out the Inverted Refrain and the Lento - both a challenge and a joy to write! I'll admit it - I'm a form junkie LOL and love the challenge of finding the beauty in each. If you're a form lover, you should check out "A Poem A Day Contest "  which will challenge you with 5 or 6 different forms a week. Lots of fun *Laugh*

I loved the story you wove into this. Like you, I chafe at mimicing words to describe an image but rather look for the story that's contained in it. I thought this was much better than HM material - but I'm not the judge and as we both are aware, you never can tell what they're looking for.

Nonetheless, a really well done Trijan Refrain and I appreciate the work that went into it ... and the story that came out *Smile*

Well done! With wishes for you for a new year with maximum happiness ... and minimum drama *Laugh*

Ken
547
547
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Princess Megan Rose 22 Years

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "For The Love Of A Troll"  [ASR] on behalf of "Invalid Item" 

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
A wonderfully fun story in the mold of classic fairy tales. A sure winner for children (of all ages *Laugh*)

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
While this follows the pattern of traditional tales, you've added a few twists (such as the troll who is not a troll) that keep a freshness about the story.

*NoteG* Content:
You tell the tale of Princess Colleen and Davon - star crossed lovers who find that love does conquer all. The foil - Andre - is just evil enough and the heros of the tale are just good enough. You've found a great balance in the story. I personally enjoyed the introdution of Benson *Smile* since all great stories include animals! LOL. A sweet story, well told.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I saw a few minor blemishes - nothing that would deter the story or the pleasure received from reading it. I'll email you an annotated copy with a few suggestions.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* You have a talent for telling stories and while this one seemed geared toward a younger audience, it recalls the tales that we grew up with and brought a smile of rememberance. Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
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Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (5.0)
"When I reach home's warmth, I smile" much like your flowing words made me smile this morning. *Smile*

Beautifully done!

Have a wonderful holiday!

Ken
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Review of Once Again  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nicely done - and I love the use of internal rhymes in the final four stanzas. It really intensifies the emotions and just makes the flow feel so much more natural. I think if the meter was more consistent, the overall flow could be improved but even at that - I found this very engaging and thoughtful.

Great write, great entry *Smile*

Happy Holidays,

Ken
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Review of Pandemic  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hmmmm Thought provoking but there's (to me and you know I'm strange LOL) a streak of dark humor in this that left me smiling. You always come up with a unique vision of the world and always make me think. Shame on you *Laugh*

Obviously you've incorporated both the elements of free-verse as well as structural elements made popular by Ezra Pound. Still, I look for a relationship between position and message. The centering of "DO NOT PANIC" doesn't seem to add to the message. The capitalization, the repetition - all great elements.

Just my humble opinion. An enjoyable read, nonetheless. Keep writing and I'll keep thinking (in spite of the discomfort LOL)

Happy Holidays,

Ken
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