I thought both poems were good. Verse was good. However, personally I liked the 2nd poem better. It seemed to be full of passion and emotion. And this is a really sore subject for me, because I really hate that kids have to go through this, and then when they get even as in your poem, they are persecuted for it. If the judges that send them away could just once be abused in this fashion then maybe we could get some real justice. Bravo for two well written poems. And Welcome to writing.com
At times, when I review my past, especially when I was a lot younger than I am now, then my perspective point was pretty darn high, but somehwere along the way I saw that I was living to high and so now I'm sure it is a lot lower. Unfortunately, some people would disagree and some would agree. Opinion, everybody has one.
“‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” My family also had this tradition and I wonder how many families do? In any event, thank you for reminding me because somewhere along the way we stopped doing it. And after reading your excellent piece, I realize how much I miss it. Keep up the good work.
Hey this is classic erotica, well written and very believeable. I was sitting on the edge of my seat for a while waiting for things to get rolling and when they did I was like a fly on the wall getting a glimpse of everything first hand. Bravo for a job well done.
Yes, today's tecnological advances have made it real easy for people to become thieves, I was reading the other day of one company that puts out atm machine and another company puts a card reader next to the atm. So you can see if your card is working before you stick it in the atm. The card reader records numbers, then the thieves come in and a have a card reader full of bank numbers and passwords. They can do anything with this information.
I like the way you spent a little time setting this story up, putting a little detail on your characters. However I do find it strange that the prologue is longer than any chapter, so far.
Well-written. Keep writing. You write well. And are very descriptive.
Okay, do you work under the golden arches or, are you one of the morning regulars? It is almost evening and I havea cup of coffee next to the keyboard right now. I probally will drink it until it rots my brain. So I really did like your coffee song. I like McDonald's coffee, but you can keep their McGridles.
Well written poem where love conquers the need to die. "Did I say that alright? Oh, I can tell you were really in love, otherwise you'd figured out a way to do yourself in. My wife says that if I take my life, then I am being selfish. So far I have not been that selfish. BRAVO!
This was a great read for me and don't know how you could improve it. It is written like it is something that actually ahppened to you and that makes it emotionally personal. After everything the two of you had already been through then I thought of the KISS as a climax of sorts.
Very emotionally charged piece of writing. I liked it very much. I'm FAT also. Male, 6'4", and about 285 pounds. But my height helps me carry it well, but no kidding I'm fat and I look like I got a spare tire around my middle. I've never let being fat slow me down.
This is a good piece of work by someone who is obvously "In Love." No harm in that love makes the world go around, or something like that. Keep writing and you never know maybe your poetry will bring her around. Then everyone will be happy. Good job.
They are born with stealth that would show-up even an elf. This sentence needs work. Maybe like this:
They are born with stealth that would show up, even in an elf.
Other than that good story. Has powerful concepts about hunters. Keep writing. I like it.
Fantastic little story. Could be a little longer. But it was very entertaining. I liked the way you set everything up and then it became a page turner, for sure.
I saw one word that was mis-used. It is below.
I think this is a great idea. I'm relatively new to writing.com (still a freebie account - but not for long) and the reviewing is an easy way for me to learn all about what other members are writing and at the same time earn Gp's. This idea is definitely a winner.
Excellent piece on drug use. No personal experience myself but back in the late 60's and early 70's and lot of the people I ran with used drugs in one form or another. Pot, coke, pills, and an old friend from high school was a heroin addict for a few years. He finally kicked the H, and now only smokes a little pot on week-ends. This is one of the best written pices on drugs I've read. My hat is off to you.
Ever sense the first series came out involving angels, I have been hooked on this genre. And Chole promises to be good story according to your preface. Especially because of the little twists in the pursuit of her ultimate desires. I look forward to reading more.
This article was well laid out and completely helpful to me and also gave me some new ideas of reviewing. So, once again, my hat goes off to: THE STORYMASTER.
I look forward to reading more of your well-informed articles. They are a true aid in developing my own own skills.
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