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Review Requests: OFF
3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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576
576
Review of Iridescent Wing  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't read poetry very often so please bear with me!

This is definitely a really interesting poem and I love that you've included that little bit of folklore at the bottom there, you learn something new everyday! I found the style of the poem to be a little dark as it foretold bad luck but I think you did it well and I found it reminiscent of Poe's work.

The poem itself flowed really well with each stanza fitting nicely together and the rhymes feeling natural. Well done!



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
577
577
Review of Puppy Thoughts  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't read poetry very often so please bear with me!

This is a really upbeat and happy poem which is really great to see. I enjoyed the read and enjoyed particularly seeing it from the point of view of a puppy, that was a really nice treat. I think you've captured the emotions and thoughts of the puppy so well (at least, that's what they would sound like I think!).

The poem itself has a rhyming couplet scheme and while it worked well, a few of the lines felt a little forced to me. You might want to go back and give it a read. I also think for a poem such as this it could benefit from having extra punctuation brought in. Just a thought!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
578
578
Review of Suburbia  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I think this piece is really good and provides a lot of vivid description which helps the reader to picture the scene, understand it through the eyes of the narrator. However, to make a story a piece has to have a begining, middle and end with a conflict and resolution in there too. This was more of a scene setting, a vignette. Still, keep it up!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
579
579
Review of Ava  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This piece is set in a post apocalyptic world where Ava sees the first dog she has ever seen before. She explores the world while her parents remain behind and always takes her companion, Kadie, with her.

I think I found the ending to stop at a point where I wanted more. I wanted to know if Ava was okay, if Kadie saved her, as it alluded to in the description. Perhaps you could consider extending it. I think the order of the story also confused me a little, it seemed to jump from a place where she was with her parents and Kadie to a place with her friends. I thought they had left all of her friends behind. Perhaps if you are alluding to the past you could begin with something like, : she remembered when...


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!






Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
580
580
Review of Care Giving Dog  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really sweet and sad piece, all at the same time. I really love the subject of this story, a care dog providing love and support to young children who need it the most. Definitely an original subject. I I think you write this well although the beginning of the piece felt just a little abstract to me. Perhaps it was because as a reader, I didn't know who the narrator was. That's just at hought!

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“She’d been brave, fighting for herself. I wish I was like her.”
“She’s been brave, fighting for herself. I wish I was like her.”




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
581
581
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This tells the story of two women, Laura and Jenny, whose lives come together in a very tragic way. I didn't see it coming at all! I have to say though, because of the way it was written it felt a little disjointed to me. When you swapped between perspectives I thought you could have used *** to make it clear there was a switch.

Despite this, your description was good and detailed and you had the beginning of good character development.

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
582
582
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I have to say, I really loved this piece. It was witty and hooked me completely. I love the style you have written this in, ironic and morbid. The two brothers obviously do not get on and have always been competition for each other, even in death one brother swears to out do another. I love how morbid and dark this piece is!

You had really good, witty dialogue too that fitted well with the characters.

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*It was a cold sprightly morning
It was a cold, sprightly morning





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
583
583
Review of Bloodthirsty  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey I don't read poetry very often but I found this to be a really dark piece. The form of he poem adds to the obscurity of it. To me it felt like the thoughts of someone tumbling out, unable to stop, as the knife and blood beckons. I think my take on it was that the person self harms, something that provided a release.

The short and choppy sentences worked well for me!

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Are what my body craves,
That's what my body craves,


I think this works a little better but remember, I'm no expert!

Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
584
584
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is an interesting piece that tells of a battle with the horsemen. Can I just say, you have a knack for detailed description and action scenes and I could see the battle as it raged, felt the emotions of the men as they huddles together hoping for life.

I found that while we started in the middle of the action (which is a good thing) I was unable to figure out why the battle was taking place. It may have been reference to a particular time but perhaps you could have set the scene just a little more to help the reader understand the context.

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
585
585
Review of Family Album  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!



*Checkg*What I liked:

Pat, I just wanted to stop by and let you know that this looks like it was a really beautiful day! Everybody is happy and smiling, just as weddings should be. Congratulations to you all and thank you for sharing *Smile*



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
586
586
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I wanted to stop by with a review in return for the one you did for me! I'm not a huge poetry reader so please bear with me!


*Checkg*What I liked:

First I want to ask, what is a Skeltonic verse poem? I like the subject of this piece. It reminds me of Halloween (almost a bit like Hocus Pocus) and I really like that. You mention all of those common and grisly ghouls so well impersonated on All Hallows Eve.

I feel like the piece could have been a little longer (but then, that could have something to do with the form of the poem so feel free to ignore me if you wish).


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
587
587
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey again Zelda, this one caught my eyes too. It's really simple yet effective. I think I must like the simples things! The colours work well and add a little sparkle and the colours silver and the grey background compliment each other well.


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
588
588
Review of Wedding congrats  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!



*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Zelda, I wanted to stop by with a review! I really like this picture. It's so nice and simple but very elegant at the same time. The picture fits so well and the colours are really nice too!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
589
589
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Ann, you offered me a review a while ago and I'm here to return the favour. I can only apologise it's taken me a while to get here! I chose this piece because the nature of the story interests me!

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a story of two friends, Paul and Sam, discussing their identities of themselves and in relation to each other. I think you've tackled a subject that can be quite tricky, but you've done it well.

*People*Characters: Paul comes across as someone who is happy with who he is. He is a cross dresser and only wants acceptance, or to feel normal, as he explains it. I really love that his best friend Sam is still sticking with him. I think often for some people, revealing such a 'secret' as this can be disastrous for relationships (as Paul's father who disowned him).

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this is set though I'm guessing it's pretty comtemporary.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*whatever that is.
whatever that is."

The end of the speech just needs a closing quotation mark.

*BulletB*"I don't know, Paul, what to say to cheer you up.
"I don't know what to say to cheer you up, Paul.

This is just a suggestion but I think this word order works a little better.





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
590
590
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Joy, I wanted to stop by and offer you a review in return for the one you did for me. I'm just sorry it took so long. I decided to read this piece because it suggested an autumnal theme and it's just what I'm in the mood for in this chilly September!

*Pencil*Storyline: What a sweet little story seeped in Autumn. A broken family spent time apart, only to be brought back together in the chilly season.

*People*Characters: Frannie is a really sweet woman. She seems to be wise and compassionate, caring about others despite their flaws. I like that . Amber is a young girl who has made some mistakes, just as everybody does, but is mature enough to admit it.

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this piece is set but you set the tone so well I don't think it matters.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Autumnal. I can picture it now!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
591
591
Review of A Gift of Love  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Jeannie *Smile* I wanted to stop by with a review in return for the one you did for me. I'm just sorry it took so long.

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really sweet story! The neighbours all club together and help out Emil and Martha at what could have been a very difficult night.

As I said, this piece is really sweet and made me go 'aw!' hehe. I love the neighbourly spirit and the love felt between Emil and Martha.

*People*Characters: Emil seems like a really nice, genuine guy. He's worried about his wife and getting her to the hospital, yet he will not burden her with the knowledge.

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this piece is set and I'm guessing it's a little older (by that I mean set in the recent past) because of the tone of the piece.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Sweet and Christmassy!




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*He feed the pigs,
He fed the pigs,

*BulletB*“I see you;re all packed and ready to go.”
“I see you're all packed and ready to go.”

*BulletR*hoping the baby will be healthy and that Martha was going to be alright.
hoping the baby would be healthy and that Martha was going to be alright.

I think this should be 'would' because it's written in past tense.



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
592
592
Review of My first kiss  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Elena, I'm here with a little review of your piece for the Contest of Firsts!

*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really sweet tale about your first kiss. You take the reader through the weeks leading up to the homecoming dance, the anticipation! You tell it well and help the reader understand your emotions and your memory. Your first kiss felt tingly for me too!

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*who's locker was near Dustin's
whose locker was near Dustin's



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
593
593
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Megan, I'm here with a little review *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really great piece which shows your love of Jane Austen! I too absolutely love Pride and Prejudice *Smile* I think you've described it so well here and makes the reader want to read or love it as much as you do which is great! I think I am a little like you because I often wish I lived in the past too, imagine how different life would have been!

I love how you bring this into the present with Lost in Austen. It's not something I've heard of before and I'd certainly be interested to watch it!






Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
594
594
Review of The Refuge  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Jace! I'm here with a review from the Tea Garden as part of the review package eyestar~* gifted as part of your auction package! (haha I seriously hope that made sense!)

*Pencil*Storyline: This was a really well written piece. It told the story of our prtagonist (do we find out her name?) who moves with her family to a new place and meets Ricky, a boy with whom she will spend all of her time, a boy who will be there unconditionally. The way you tell the abuse in this piece works well, it's there but not graphic and I think that worked well for me.

*People*Characters: I don't recall seeing the protagonist's name in this piece (and I'm sorry if it's there and I've missing it) but it might be worth including that somewhere, just for an additional character developement piece. However, she seems like a strong woman. She tries to stand up for something that is not right and deals with it by running away, being with Ricky. I really felt for this young woman.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is somewhere near the Mississippi. I don't know where exactly but I think that's okay as you set the tone well.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece is really sad, the trials she has to go through, losing her companion, her soul mate. But it also has a bit of an uplifting ending, knowing she is not alone anymore.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Only, ... Ricky knew.
Only ... Ricky knew.

I don't think you need a comma here.




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
595
595
Review of Evermore  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm back with your third review as part of the package you won! As you can see I've stayed with the dark theme and this piece, with the title reminiscing Poe, I couldn't resist!

*Pencil*Storyline: The beginnings of this piece took me a while to grasp. I think it was to do with the tone of the journal entry, but once I had, I was immersed in the story. This tells of our protagonist (do we find out his name?) who is thrust into a mission of exploration; something he has been searching for his whole life. And when he finally finds it, he realises that it is not all as it seems...


I really like the twist at the end! I didn't see that coming!


*People*Characters: Just as I mentioned before I would perhaps mention the protagonists name (or if you have I apologise for missing it!). When I was reading the journal entry I immediately got the impression he was an older gentleman so well done for beginning to characterise him from the very beginning. I sensed his excitement as he explored and finally found what he has been searching for.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece changes but you set it all well so the reader can see and sense the place they are exploring.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is an intense tale that kept me hooked, but it was also quite ironic. He finally found what he had spent his life looking for but I know as a reader, that he's going to come to regret it over and over.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
596
596
Review of Rush Week  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm back with another review! I'm sticking with the dark folder. I think this piece caught my eye because although hazing and joining a fraternity is an American tradition in colleges (is that right?) because I'm from the UK I can note that things are a lot different here and I like to hear how things are there!

*Pencil*Storyline: Wow what a terrifying story! I truly hope fazing isn't really like this! I think if I went to college in America I might just become a recluse, safer that way *Wink*

*People*Characters: Our main character is a young man going through rush, or at least, he thinks he is. He wakes up trapped in a coffin and while he thinks it's an alaborate prank, he soon finds out otherwise... At first he is cool and collected, willing to play the game. But when his oxygen begins to run out and he realises that soil is beginning to cave in on him, he begins to panic. I can't blame him for it!

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is a casket. You set the scene well allowing the reader to be there with him.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is a very dark piece. You caught the intensity of his terror so wel!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
597
597
Review of Sine Qua Non  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I'm here with my first review of the WDC Around the World Package you won! I checked in the dark folder for that is my preference and this is the first thing I spotted. The title immediately made me go what? because I'm not sure what it means and of course, meant that I had to find out...!

*Pencil*Storyline: A creepy story indeed! And I go just what I wanted and found out what the title meant, very niteresting *Smile* This tells the story of Mr Smith who does his job just like everyone else but he is hated for what he does. A doctor, from a hospital he shuts down seeks to get revenge and puts him through a torturous night...

I think you've created a really original plot here and an enjoyable read with a good twist at the end. After all, who would have thought he would wake up after such torture!

*People*Characters: Mr Smith is our main character in this and I have to say, I feel for him. He has one of those jobs that everyone hates him for, like a traffic warden, but he is after all, just doing his job. He strikes me as very professional, logical and hard working.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece changes but no matter where the protagonist is you set it well, allowing the reader to be there with him.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Very creepy with a hint of dark humour!


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*His scrubs are splattered with blood and he’s holding a bloody scalpel. He leaned in close and pulled down his surgical mask, revealing the creepy doctor from the plane.

His scrubs were splattered with blood and he was holding a bloody scalpel. He leaned in close and pulled down his surgical mask, revealing the creepy doctor from the plane.

The first sentence here brought the piece into the present tense when the story is written in the past tense.




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
598
598
Review of Surprise Gift  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Jyo, I just wanted to stop by and offer you a review in honour of the Power Review Birthday Raid!

*Checkg*What I liked:

I came across this piece in a list of possible things to read and I had to come and take a look, after all, who can resist a surprise gift! I don't often read poetry so please bear with me. Although I'm not familiar with the form you wrote this poem in, I began to understand it as I read, particularly the swapped lines which I thought was a nice touch.

It's a really nice piece that tells of the celebration of your son's birthday, the decorations, preparations, the candles. I can picture the scene well in my head.

Thank you for sharing this with us!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
599
599
Review of Almost Birthday  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Amay, I'm here with a review of this piece in honour of the Power Review Birthday Raid!

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really sweet story about a couple, who share a dance before his birthday. They are an older couple and they are able to admit to each other that despite their love, they have drifted apart. But she promises, that they will always be together and she will always be there for him.

*People*Characters: Normally, I would suggest adding names to a story but I think because of the tone of this piece, it works well just as it is. The two characters are an older couple, still loving and caring, though they have drifted apart. I love that they are mature enough to have that conversation and acknowledge each still wants the other to be happy.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is the dance floor. We don't know when or why or how but I think that's okay, it's about the dance.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is a really sweet piece and I'm not sure whether it was the story, the characters or the dialogue (or all three) but it left me feeling quite mellow and content.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*If you had to pick one word to describe the mood in the room mellow comes to mind.
If you had to pick one word to describe the mood in the room, mellow comes to mind.



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
600
600
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Maryann, in the spirit of the Power Review Raid, I thought I'd stop by as this was on the list of items!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I think this is a super sweet forum that a lot of your close friends have put together to help you celebrate your tenth anniversary here on writing.com. I love that it's been transferred to your port and it's now something you can look back on without having to remember, it's right there in front of you.

Wow you got an amazing amount of merit badges too! I love the way you've expressed your appreciation to everyone who has gotten involved with this *Smile*







Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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