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Review Requests: OFF
3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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476
476
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in the "Invalid Item" !
}

*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry but when I spotted this piece I couldn't help but open it and take a peek and I'm really glad I did *Smile* This is a really sweet piece of poetry that shares the light of your life with the community. This is about the emotions you had when she was born and when she grew. There is a strong sense of love and protection in this and it comes across clearly.


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
477
477
Review of Motherhood  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This was a really well written piece that gives the reader a brief glimpse into the life of a parent. I think you did a fantastic job of showing here and really take the reader through that. I'm not a parent so I can't comment on that side of things but I can understand how exhausting it must be.

*People*Characters: I think you've captured the personality of the mother here so well. We see how exhausted she is yet, despite everything, we can also see how much love she has for her children. I guess I wanted to know why she was crying. I guessed it was exhaustion but it could have been a number of other things too.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in her home late at night.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: I think this is a really emotional piece and you seemed to catch it so well *Smile*



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
478
478
Review of S.I.S.C.O.  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Sisco, I'm here with my second review *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really neat folder and a place to keep the novels that you're working on. You've set the page out well and it's clear and concise. I have to say I've heard other members and yourself refer to Sisco before in a context of it having been a program perhaps? I've never heard of this... care to enlighten me?

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
479
479
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Winter Wonderland Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I spotted this piece and thought that because the date was looming nearer it was a very apt poll and one I wanted to take part in. I was really surprised to find I'm the first person to vote! Maybe it's a new item though *Smile*

I do have to say however, that I'm not sure your choices cover every base. You have a lot about different natural disasters but only one that says 'It's not going to happen'. While in principle I think this is fine the way you've worded that option didn't sit right with me. I don't necessarily think it's baloney but I do have a different belief system. Maybe it would be more appropriate to ask how you're going to change/not change your life on that day. Just a thought *Smile* Thanks for sharing this!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
480
480
Review of A Bit About Me  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Winter Wonderland Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Okay I decided to stop by something a little more positive for my last review of the mini port raid! I chose this piece because I always enjoy finding out more about other members of the community *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really nice piece that gives the readers a chance to dip into your life and find out what sort of person you are, what your passions are and, and you mention here, your life mottos. I think this piece gives a good sense of your personality and I want to thank you for sharing it *Smile*

Also I want to say a big congratulations for being published, I know you wrote this a while ago now but I still feel like it's worth saying!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
481
481
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: I couldn't resist this piece when I spotted this. I love zombie apocalypse stories! I have to say, this was well worth the read. The narrative voice of this piece is really strong and the personality of the character comes across well throughout (though I have to admit I thought it was a woman at first, but I'm not sure why). The piece is written as a journal and the reader finds out this is the fourth in the series as Devin travels and keeps on the move to avoid the walkers.

I'd be really interested to see his other journal entries, if you wrote them!

*People*Characters: Devin is the main character. Through his journal we find out about his experiences, himself and his thoughts/emotions. It works well and as I mentioned it lets his own voice come through strongly.

*Home*Setting: In this journal he is sitting in mausoleum writing.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece has a good narrative voice that really hooked me and while it wasn't full of fear, there was certainly tension and uncertainly hanging in there.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
482
482
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

I spotted this piece and let me tell you, I couldn't resist opening it. First of all congratulations on getting published, not only for the first time, but for all of those times afterwards. That is so amazing and you deserve every one of them. I really love that you've put them all together here in order to share with the community. Also, your gratitude towards the SMs is really apparent and I love that you took the time to write it down *Smile* Thank you for sharing this.


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
483
483
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This is the start to a book you're writing about Alisza who is a girl who visits your protagonist in her dreams. It's a really interesting concept and I think you manage to bring it to fruition well.

*People*Characters: So far we have our protagonist (do we find out her name?) and Alisza who turns out to be her grand daughter from four generations in the future. We don't know a lot about the characters yet but I assume they will be developed more in later chapters.

*Home*Setting: I think this takes place in the current world *Smile*




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
484
484
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really realistic piece an plays on issues of racism. It was a good read and reflects the innocence of a young man who, possibly by others, would be tarred with assumptions.

*People*Characters: The middle aged woman in this piece is the main character. She makes eye contact with the young boy and feels they have an affinity which I really loved. She sees past all differences and recognises him for the youth he is.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece takes place on a train and you set the scene well, I can picture it.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
485
485
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really neat little story about a fish named Rasputin who has nine lives. It's a nice twist on the cats lives and was a really fun read that made me smile!

*People*Characters: Luke is one of the main character in this piece. He is the little boy who saved the fish and couldn't leave him alone, and he wants to take him everywhere. It's kinda cute! Rasputin also plays a huge part in this. He's one lucky fish.

*Home*Setting: This is to take place at Aunt Elaine's place but Rasputin enjoys some adventures on the way!




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*His dropped his eyes
*BulletG*He dropped his eyes

*BulletB*Luke twisted around in his seat to wave at him mom
*BulletB*Luke twisted around in his seat to wave at his mom



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
486
486
Review of Helping Santa  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" 


*Checkg*What I liked:

This was a really fun and light hearted poem! I don't often read poetry but I couldn't resist in the spirit of the season. This piece was an easy read and it flowed nicely *Smile* I really enjoyed it and I have to say I'm a little jealous Santa asked for your help... hehe! Hope you had fun, certainly sounds like it *Smile* Thanks for sharing this!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
487
487
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" 

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really interesting start to a story. This piece begins to give the context to the reader, explaining the background and setting the scene which is just what a good prologue should do *Smile*

*People*Characters: The narrator is the protagonist in this piece (do we find out his name?) So far I feel we know what his occupation is, but nothing more about him. However, I think this is fine as we know he will developed further into the story, this is just a taster.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is Earth and some other planet (do we find out which one?)

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece is full of fantasy and promises more fun to come!



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*‘There’s no dragons on Earth.’

Here, because you use the plural of dragons, it should read:

*BulletG*‘There are no dragons on Earth.’





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
488
488
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" 


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really fun short piece that lets the reader into a slice of your life. I travelled the memory with you and couldn't see what was coming. I a rather ignorant to plant life and couldn't tell you what a Bleeding Heart is! So I do believe my confusion would have mirrored your own! Hehe. Thanks for sharing this, it made me smile! *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
489
489
Review of Penance  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" 

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Laura who, after trying to find a cure for her husband's cancer, accidentally changes him for the worst. While she is trying to find the real cure she has to do something to keep her husband fed and alive...

What a wonderfully creepy story! I really enjoyed reading it and finding out the moral too.

*People*Characters: Laura is the main character in this piece. She comes across as having two personalities. The first is the woman who lures, the seductress. The second is the workahlic, the student. But we soon find out she is the workaholic becoming the seductress in order to survive! Interesting and it works well *Smile*

*Home*Setting: This takes place in her home with the basement being a prominent place.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is definitely a creepy story and comes with a good moral too.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
490
490
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" 


*Checkg*What I liked:

This was a really neat piece and a light hearted read *Smile* I liked that I was able to find out your background and what you're really like, it was fun! And I love the pictures too, makes it more personal!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
491
491
Review of Spook  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item"  !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Brogan, who after returning after being imprisoned as a POW, begins to come to terms with his guilt over losing his friends while he lived.

*People*Characters: This piece introduces the character well and lets the reader get to know him, his background, his personality and motivations. I think you've done well to introduce him to the reader and begin to characterise him.

*Home*Setting: This piece takes place n his family home.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
492
492
Review of Vlad's Wife  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item"  !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Vlad the Impaler's second wife who, on finding their castle under siege, makes her decision to not be captured. I didn't really know the story of Vlad the Impaler too well but this has given me a good insight so thank you for sharing it.

*People*Characters:Jusztina is Vlad the Impaler's second wife. We know that she is a proud woman who, rather than being taken captive, would rather kill herself. Other than that I don't feel we know a lot about her. I found myself wanting to know why she was his second wife? How they came to be together? Where he was the night the castle came under siege.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in the castle, her home. We get a lot of good description to set the scene.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece is strong with the feel of war and injustice as well as fear.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
493
493
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item"  !

*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry but when I spotted this piece I couldn't resist! I know it's going to be fun and light hearted!

I wasn't disappointed! This piece flows well and makes an easy read and an enjoyable one too! As I read I found myself smiling at this vegetarian vampire who rummages for any food he can find *Smile* I then saw the prompt and thought you did really well not to use the word blood in this piece, must have been hard!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
494
494
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item"  !

*Pencil*Storyline: What a really sad short story. It tells the story of Mrs. Lawton who is suffering daily after her son and husband were involved in a car accident. The hospital make the decision to turn off the machine and it's not something she agrees with...

*People*Characters: Mrs. Lawton is the main character in this. Just a thought but it might be worth having her first name in there somewhere just to make it a little more personal. We know that she's suffering greatly as I think any mother would.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is the hospital where her son is hooked up to machines.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece is really sad.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*If they had let her she would of stayed here

Here 'of' should be 'have' and I'm wondering whether 'here' should be 'there'

*BulletG*If they had let her she would have stayed here


*NoteR*A few parting comments...


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
495
495
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item"  !

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really gritty hard hitting piece. This tells the story of a woman (do we find out her name) who is living in a motel room with her young son and doing what she can do get the high she craves. It's such a sad story and I really felt for this woman. I think this could be a good piece, have you decided to continue with it?

*People*Characters: The main character is nameless (as I mentioned) but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. I think coupled with the narrative it works quite well. I do think I would have liked to know a bit more about how she found herself in that situation but perhaps that is to come.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is a motel room and you set the scene well with a variety of description.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece made me quite sad and really think about her.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*she didn’t FEEL like herself. She thought as she dabbed on foundation.

Here I think because you're indicating this is her thought, the full stop should be a comma:

*BulletG*she didn’t FEEL like herself, she thought as she dabbed on foundation.

*BulletB*There was food crumbs scattered around,

This should be were as it's plural:

*BulletB*There were food crumbs scattered around,





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
496
496
Review of Treat or Trick?  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were lockd up in the "Invalid Item" 

*Pencil*Storyline: A vampire story with a bit of a difference. We find out through her dreams that Lisa has been changed into the vampiric creature she is, but not in the way she dreamed. I think that part was important.

*People*Characters: Lisa is the main character in this. We see things from her point of view both in real life and in her dreams and begin to understand what sort of person she was and who she has become and indeed the big change in her.

*Home*Setting: This takes place mostly in Lisa's mind through her dreams and memories.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This has a dream like feel to it, not just because of the fact that she dreams a lot but also the way in which is was written.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
497
497
Review of Escape  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you got locked up in "Invalid Item" 

*Pencil*Storyline: Haha! I love this piece! You had me terrified and rooting for his life as he ran through the fields only to find out that not all was as it seemed *Wink* Well done! It was a good twist that I didn't see coming.

*People*Characters: The young boy is the main character in this piece. We feel his terror, experience it with him. It's really well shown.

*Home*Setting: A wheat field outside of a dark house late evening. The scene is well set.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Scary as hell and super tense! Well done!




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*He was scared, but he has to be strong.

I think this should be 'had'

*BulletG*He was scared, but he had to be strong.



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
498
498
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review of this piece since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon!

*Pencil*Storyline: I was hooked on this piece as I read. IT was dark and highly descriptive. It actually made me wonder whether this was a personal account of a dream you have or if it is just a story. Either way, it's tense and scary!

*People*Characters: There is one character in this piece, the one stuck behind the wheel speeding through the dark night. We get to know her feelings and emotions throughout this piece as she experiences it and it brings us closer to the terror of the situation.

*Home*Setting: A dark road in the middle of nowhere.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Tense and terrifying!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
499
499
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review of this piece since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon!

*Pencil*Storyline: This was a really well written piece and not what I was expecting. I guess I thought it was about a sandwich - literally! But this was really good and took the reader through the story using only dialogue (well done for that, I'm always impressed when someone can pull it off!)

*People*Characters: The two main characters are Maura and Roger. It becomes obvious they were married but soon split up after Roger had an affair. I'm not sure whether they're still married now? The filler of the sandwich is Misty, their daughter. She's been neglected by Roger but wants him back now that she's met him again. I think this piece says a lot about Maura as a character; she is a woman who appreciates loyalty and though she is willing to talk to Roger she hasn't forgotten.

*Home*Setting: This piece is set at a party, a mixer, which leads me to believe they still live in the same vicinity.

*BurstR*Dialogue: I think the dialogue you use in this piece is really clever, it not only gets across the personality of the characters but it moves the plot forward and allows the reader to understand their reactions too.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestion to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review of this piece since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon!

*Pencil*Storyline: This was a really nice piece and read at a time when I was just thinking of going hiking! Your protagonist goes for a hike one sunny summers day only to be deluged by a bitter snowstorm that lasts only minutes before the sun reappears. This piece is nicely done and explains how quickly the seasons can change.

*People*Characters: I'm not sure we find out the characters name but I think that's fine. We follow her on her hike and understand the emotions she feels, enjoying the warmth of the sun as she does.

*Home*Setting: This piece takes place on a mountain, a lonely place, a peaceful walk.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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