*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kimbro1958/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
Review Requests: ON
781 Public Reviews Given
878 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 ... Next
226
226
Review of Different Words  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's nice to find another person who enjoys playing with "words." Though I didn't find your titles impressive or compelling --- too simple and plain for the strength exhibited within this particular piece.

I especially like the strength and rhythm of your opening lines:

         The beauty of language lies in the words
         The power of music can be felt in the chords


The course of your poem continues with an intricate, melodic weave. Though I wasn't as pleased with your ending. It seemed sudden... maybe I wanted more. I'm not quite sure.

Otherwise, I suggest a little more work on clarity. One aspect might be getting rid of unnecessary words from beginning to end. (For example, consider eliminating "your" in the second to the last line and "the" in the last line).

Thank you for sharing your word play with us.
227
227
Review of Peripheral Vision  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice work. I found this an easy and enjoyable read, flowing like a warm breeze...

Though I found the ending somewhat halting...
228
228
Review of Seeking A Valley  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow. You captured and held my attention throughout this very "real" and artfully created piece. Rest assured, I identified with much of your writing----as will others, I'm sure.

I enjoyed the placement of your words, your word choice, imagery and flow --- very connected. Each word beckoned me... Transitions were graceful.

I read this aloud and the placement of punctuation was smooth.
229
229
Review of THE REAPER  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good job. The last word of the second to last stanza is misspelled --- "spin" s/b "spine."

Other than that you've chosen a fitting title, and your imagery is magnificent. Your message flows clear with a well-connected, unencumbered melody.

230
230
Review of A Sense of Hope  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was drawn in by this "perfect" piece of poetry with a clear, uplifting message. The title is fitting.

Good work!
231
231
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (3.5)
Personally, I felt the piece was somewhat overreaching.

A consideration might be to tighten it up a bit and/or consider turning it into a poetic piece.

Otherwise, you might want to consider walking away for awhile -- then coming back from time-to-time when you're refreshed. It's bound to get better.
232
232
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (3.5)
The poem has a nice rhythmic flow that draws the reader through each successive stanza.

This seems to be a dramatic piece about two former lovers... In places it seems disconnected and "strange," making it difficult to get a true picture of what's going on and what you are trying to tell us.

You say its a strange dream. Sometimes dreams are quite disconnected... Personally, I like mystery... but this is so mysterious, its difficult to know what's going on.

Keep working. The piece has depth and potential.
233
233
Review of THE CATCHERS  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is an interesting, comical story... though you might consider toning down (reducing a little) what seemed an overuse of dialog.

Clearly, good work. I see why you've been given a "rising star award."

Nice word pictures. I could really see what was going on -- the turkeys, the lady in red, etc.

Keep it up!
234
234
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.0)
The melody of this piece flows nicely but its a little too mysterious for this reader.

Otherwise, I found a few grammatical/punctuation errors you may want to correct, noted below.

"There’s places in the sun" s/b There are places in the sun.

"And time tick’s away." s/b ...time ticks away (not possessive).

"And you realise that’s it’s no game." s/b ...realize that it's no game.




235
235
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your piece inspirational and thought provoking...

It was good of you to give an explanation after apparently having been misunderstood.
236
236
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice, I enjoyed this piece --- nice flow of rhythm and rhyme without being excessive. Nice message as well.
237
237
Review of Paper Airplanes  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting. Below is the part I like best and found most meaningful -- simple yet eloquent, especially the last two lines.

"What do they want,
What can they bring,
Perhaps a lot, or not a thing?
Like life, sometimes,
A gentle glide upon the unseen wind,
A perfect landing,
Or, at worst,
To crash and burn, again."
238
238
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Cute.
239
239
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
Cute, with a nice cadence of rhythm and rhyme.
240
240
Review of Squish!  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
A wonderful piece of magical fantasy. (Does that make me an unbeliever? --just kidding.) I enjoyed this fun piece --- the cadence of your rhythm and rhyme. Thank you for sharing it with the rest of us.
241
241
Review of The Lost Puppet  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice, honest, yet very sad piece. =(

242
242
Review of register  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (3.5)
I this piece both interesting and unusual. Thank you for sharing it.
243
243
Review of The Tides Of Life  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you for sharing your traumatic tale of suffering... so many senseless deaths. Your story-telling creates both mystery and intrigue, captivating the reader through to each fateful event.

I appreciate your willingness to share your culture and background with those of us who are unfamiliar with such practices. I am glad they did away with the practice of Sati --- what a horrifying way to die.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.
244
244
Review of Grace.  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the simplicity and clarity with which you convey and define grace and also your use of rhythm and rhyme.

Thank you.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.
245
245
Review of Blackbird Trapped  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is an unusual, yet interesting piece. Thank you for sharing it.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.
246
246
Review of Screaming Kettles  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow... I like the way you bring the reader into this piece with easy, realistic dialog and short paragraphs.

And then with wonder and anticipation --- there in the moment --- I actually felt his dilemma, anxiety and resolve --- and wanted to shout at him, shake him, stop him... You had me on the edge of my seat right through to the end. Good job!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.


247
247
Review of Sliped Away  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You left a "p" out of the title --- s/b "Slipped Away."

This is an interesting piece, but it leaves me wondering --- Is this someone's death and dying? or someone in depression --- mental illness?

Otherwise, you held my interest all the way through to the end. I did reread this poem at least twice, maybe three times --- wondering if I missed something.

Thank you for sharing it.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.
248
248
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your very original style in this piece. Thank you for sharing it.
249
249
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Interesting piece.
250
250
Review of The Ghost Dancers  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful. The story is told well in a short rhythmic format that keeps you interested through to the end. Thank you!
266 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 11 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kimbro1958/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10