I found STILL thoughtful, lovely and touching. Your rhyming is beautifully done --- with absolutely no detraction from the meaning and content of this very focused, inspired, inspirational poem. I very much appreciated the calm, silent reverence of your title and the poetry found within. Thank you. (I'll add this to my list of favorites!)
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Garth---I believe you meant to say "The WOLVES are at my door," up top, in your title. However, it seems "wolves" and "woes" could be a "good" mistake or even a "purposeful" mistake ---- therefore, not a mistake at all ---- since "wolves" and "woes" are synonymous here.
Your title intrigued me to look further, to actually read and review what you've written. I was caught off guard by the differing titles, which actually caused me to probe deeper.
I found your writing clear and concise. I could easily relate to what you've written; therefore, your poem is meaningful not only to you, but to me (your reader).
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Love your imaginative humor -- great timing, with just the right dose of rhythm and rhyme.
I enjoyed looking at your creative images. Your port is entertaining with enough mystery to intrigue the minds of your readers -- gently coaxing us through each item.
Take care and good luck in the "author of the month" contest.
Truly lovely and heartfelt. (I only wish I could hear the audio.) I found your writing focused with a comfortable rhythm and rhyme pattern throughout. No stumbling here. Nice work.
I'm glad you're enjoying your retirement while using your creative talents with liveliness and passion.
Sue---I enjoyed this mysterious piece. It has a light "lyrical" quality in spite of its "dark" nature. The rhythm and rhyme pulls in your reader like a dance... I found your writing thoughtful, carefully crafted with each word appropriate in its place.
Very nice. I enjoyed the puns and the fun in this serious piece. (However, I wondered if you meant "allies" rather than "alleys" in the third line of the first stanza. Also, "catseyes" s/b "cats eyes.") Overall, I found the piece remarkably fun, yet at the same time truthful and direct --- adding contrast, making it more interesting... almost like a riddle.
Well done! You've explained it so well... No need for speculation; your audience relates.
I enjoyed the play of your rhythm and rhyme on this serious subject. You capture our attention... with pleasure, we're spellbound to the end. Your writing is focused and makes sense.
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In the sixth stanza, third line "struned" s/b strewn.
Thank you for sharing your favorite books and their authors. I've never thought to write this sort of information down, but our likes and dislikes help others know us better and stir interest in another perspective.
Beautifully written. Relative. Your intention/purpose was quite clear throughout. Your descriptive use/choice of words opened my eyes and awakened my senses.
I like it -- the meter of your rhythm and rhyme, as well as the fact that you're actually bringing a message with this piece with a hearty sense of humor in the last line.
You've conveyed the pain of an unrequited, unreciprocated love quite well. You relate to your audience. (We've all been there.) You speak the truth matter-of-factly without asking us to feel sorry for you. Nicely done.
In the third stanza I found a tense conflict, you may wish to correct---it should more properly be:
"I ASK if we can talk, you never have the time."
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Personally, I like the lightness of your first three lines in each stanza, and then the punch of emotion you evoke in the fourth line. (The only line I'm not so fond of is "imagine the years" in the third stanza.) The finale of the fourth stanza is appropriately solemn and sweet.
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Your descriptive choices bring this piece to life. I found your writing clear---easy to read and understand---and flowing in a gentle yet moving cadence.
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