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563 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This contest was quite a lot of fun. The themes were varied and most of them did not take much time to complete. Anyone with 15 minutes could compete.

I did not personally take advantage of the option, but I think it was nice that you did not have to answer the theme every single day. After all, stuff happens and it would be too bad to invest several days in this contest only to be disqualified for missing a day or two.

Although the themes were creative and varied, the down side is that, due to the nature of the prompts, the writing that resulted will probably not be of use in any other capacity.
102
102
Review of Full Circle  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Star* You are being reviewed for Round Twelve of "UPGRADE AIDE CONTEST" Open in new Window. *Star*
This is sad and heartfelt. I like the way it flows and I loved the sentiment. It speaks clearly of longing for that one special person. To be held and told that you matter - I would expect that most people could relate to that desire.
One line that I thought was a little hackneyed (over time there wont be any storm we cant weather.)
Of course, that is just my opinion
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon

nice job,
lizzie
103
103
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Maretta,
What a fun story. I really love this line I smiled this time, certain she was a bit dim witted.*Bigsmile*
Just a couple of suggestions below. Of course, these are only my opinion
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
If you received a review from me or are reviewing something that I wrote, please read this
#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon


I assigned to the stationery. (I was assigned to the stationery department or I was assigned to stationery)
who demanded definate (I'm not sure what word you wanted here, definite does not sound right to me)
When Gert returned I told her about the strange woman and after she made a few enquiries and listened to my answers, her face turned slightly red, then a brighter fiery red and finally even a mauve tinge crossed her brow. (this is a long sentence)
definate (definite)
lizzie
104
104
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a sweet and inspirational story. The first person perspective works well, until the end. I realize that this is fiction, but this flies in the face of convention when Charlie tells the main character about Evelynn being his patient. I would suggest that you explore other methods of conveying that information to the reader.
I also thought that many of the sentences were weakened by the fact that they were so long. I think if you tightened some of them up and broke them into two or three sentences, they would have greater impact.
Of course this is only my opinion.
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon


She had long, choppy dark hair that always looked unwashed, dull eyes, and sat in the back where she would stare blankly at the chalkboard. (you might consider breaking this sentence up)
tell the story of what happened several times, over and over. ( would use one or the other, several times or over and over, not both)
Instead if the top saying, (of)
"Evelynn," Charlie the said to the distraught woman, who had chosen before to remain anonymous. (remove the)

well done,
lizzie
105
105
Review of The Weekender  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wonderful. This was a very easy read, one of the best I've come across. I suspected the payoff at the end, but was still happy with the execution. The only part I found confusing was this; Clem looked at him for a second, then rolled him out of the boat and held him under water for a few minutes just to be sure.
It creates an odd visual for me if Clem was in the boat, and of course suspecting what they would do with him next, why would they throw him out of the boat?
Below are just a few small suggestions. As always, just my opinion
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon


leave any for you guys." The guys laughed.(I wouldn't use guys so close together)
He was dressed like the cover of an Eddie Bauer catalog. (I think you mean for the cover of an...lol)
Clem stood up. (I think straightened up would be more to the point. He was already standing, wasn't he?)
106
106
Review of The Caretaker  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful! This story was a simple one, but it had me in tears here - (They looked at each other helplessly and suddenly beside them stood a young man smiling. He was a Latino man with a gentle face.
“I will fix the tire,” he said simply.)
again, when I read it to copy and paste it, I had tears in my eyes. What power the written word can have. This was definitely the highlight of the piece for me. When you find that unexpected gift - well, it's magical.
Obviously, this character has other things to be grateful for, but you just allude to those. This act of kindness by a stranger was so touching and well portrayed.

Very nice,
lizzie
107
107
Rated: E | (4.5)
Although I do not agree with your position on this essay, it was well articulated and thought provoking - everything a good opinion piece should be.

I do believe there is a being greater than ourselves, I do not, however, believe that he, she or it was directly responsible for our creation, has any interest in our on-going survival or cares if one small human lives or dies.

For right or wrong, I just do not believe that we occupy such a grand place in the overall scheme of things.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1422949 by Not Available.


There are so many wonderful things in this universe. I just do not hold to the belief that we are all that important. Perhaps, the ultimate creator made the universe and the planets, just to have something nice to look at. Maybe that is as far as his, hers or its interest goes. Then we evolved. After all, I love the animals in my care, that does not mean that I have any interest in the tick that lands on their back.

I might be more inclined to believe your suppositions, if there was more evidence of our importance. When you put time into a creation, a gourmet meal, a written piece or the perfect flower arrangement (whatever it might be), you want it to be as good as it can be. Why then did this omnipotent being come up with such inferior creations? Our life spans are short - a heartbeat in the grand scheme, our teeth fall out, our bodies get weak and we die. Don't you think that God, if he were so inclined, could do better than us?

So, if we accept the fact that 'God' wanted this infinitely flawed evidence of his work, are we then to assume that he is going to maintain an ongoing, hands on interest in our fate?

Obviously, there are those, like yourself, who believe just that. Even if I accepted all of the above precepts. I could then not get past the next thought. If 'God' is responsible for all the good things that happen to us, then he, she, it is also responsible for all the bad. Bad things happen to good people every day, through no fault of their own. I do not believe that there is a vindictive being who is orchestrating this, any more than I believe that this same omniscient being is overly concerned with whether good things happen to us.

Boy, I do love a good rant. In the end, no matter how many people gravitate behind a particular philosophy, it is still nothing more than conjecture. But it does get the blood pumping, doesn't it.
lizzie
108
108
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem is very nice. I felt like it moved smoothly, all the way to the last line, when it kind of went - ka thunk.
I don't know why. The last line is not problematic, in and of itself, it just seemed to be in discord with the rest of the poem - for me at least. I guess that is not really what I mean either. The sentiment of the last line is understood and fits well with the rest of the poem. The line itself seems klunky to me.
Of course, this is just my opinion, more so of course with poetry, because it is so subjective.
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon

Overall, I did enjoy this,
lizzie
109
109
Review of Memories Unmade  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a nice poem. Like most complex poetry, it took me several readings to really gain some understanding of it.
This is, by far, my favorite line (Touches missed, misses touched only by regrets not known.)
I have read some of the Lansing diaries, but I am still trying to figure out how they fit together. Maybe I have not read enough, but I cannot relate this poem to what I have already read
I also read part one from 'Time of the Dragon' by Jerry Powell and am confused by yet another reference to Lisa Lansing that did not seem in line with the story behind the diaries.
lizzie
110
110
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a great forum for writers. There are many times that I am just stump as to proper dialect, the date of a historic event or just whether a particular phrase sounds hokey or not.
I don't know what people did before the internet, but this is a lot more personal.
lizzie march
111
111
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a great assessment of the short story writing process. I don't write many short stories, because I find it too restrictive. For good or bad, I am told I have too much to say.

This was well-written and concise. I read this piece is terms of my own works, and did not agree with everything, although that is probably because I spend some of my time being the exception rather than the rule. I love the twist and think that every story should have something that leaves the reader shaking their heads and wondering why they didn't see that coming. But, that's just my personal preference.
As always, this is just my opinion.
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
If you received a review from me or are reviewing something that I wrote, please read this
#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon

below are some specific comments.

A plot is a causal sequence of events that draws the reader into the character's lives and helps the reader better under (I think you mean understand here)
And whether readers come to love or hate the character, I need to at least give them a character to care about. (I love this line. If I haven't empathized with or felt some other strong emotion for a character, that story falls flat for me - no matter how exciting the plot may be. Without strong character development, the story becomes just a lot of action)
112
112
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I encourage anyone who is experiencing a little bit of a block to try this contest
15 for 15 Contest --- Closed Open in new Window. (18+)
Do you have 15 minutes? Come in and join this contest!
#994771 by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon

. It is really a mind-expanding contest. Everybody's a winner because, at the end of the day, you have fifteen items you didn't have before. I decided to try to connect mine, which was a bit of a challenge. Let me know what you think.
"15 for 15" Open in new Window.
This has been great fun. I'll be disappointed when its over.
lizzie
113
113
Rated: E | (4.0)
As with the previous section, this is a sad recounting of what it is like to watch a loved one deal with Alzheimer's. I watched it with my own grandmother. It is a sad and tragic event. Thank you for sharing this personal experience.
Below, I have pasted some technical glitches. As always, these are just my opinion. Take them for what they are worth.
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
If you received a review from me or are reviewing something that I wrote, please read this
#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon


paid for the grocery, (groceries)
Aunt Sarah was still incensed with anger (I think this is redundant, you should use incensed or angry)
she no longer cared which network to (I would suggest 'which network she')
I wondered if she her medical (remove she)
“It’s mom (Mom)
enough for mom (again)
had grown to envy till (envy, until)
She was a curiosity to some people who had never known of anybody with Alzheimer’s, and utterly surprised that someone so young could be diagnosed with it.(make this two sentences. They were utterly surprised )
what marvelous feast she prepared (what a)
and don’t love you the way I do.” (doesn't)
She straightened, squared her shoulders that caused (She straightened, squaring her shoulders and causing)
114
114
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a very evocative poem. It is nicely visual, bringing you all the sights and sounds of the mermaid way of life. It is a very enjoyable piece and the pictures are lovely. I particularly like the first and the third.
Just one suggestion. "My View on Reviews" Open in new Window.
They can't believe that she is for real! (maybe removing 'for' here would make this line read even more smoothly)
lizzie
115
115
Rated: E | (4.5)
Blake,
This is very interesting. How much of this is fact and how much is fiction? Inquiring minds want to know. I don't think that there is an author out there, aspiring to publication or already published, who is not intrigued and envious at J.K. Rowling's rise to fame. Personally, I would love to crawl around in her brain for a bit and see if I could pick up any pointers.
Great essay,
lizzie
116
116
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is the only piece I have read, since I have been at WDC, that has brought me to tears. I am a sucker for animal stories anyways, but this one hit too close to home. I have made that last visit to the vet too many times. I have seen the life leave my beloved friend's body too often. It is a terrible thing, but it is the price one has to pay for pet ownership. I have had many animals and will have many more. That last trip breaks my heart every time, but I cannot imagine my life without them.
Thanks for a great piece.
I just found one technical glitch
Why don't you do lie down in the garage? (go not do?)
they hovered like tiny vultures. (what a great line)
Write On!
lizzie
117
117
Review of Megan's Ballroom  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this page. I am an absolute sucker for unicorns. I particularly like the top two.
I also love the castle scene. This is the definition of magical. It makes you want to step right in. I am looking forward to entering the ballroom and meeting all kinds of new people.
thank you,
lizzie
118
118
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Megan,
This is a beautiful, heartfelt poem.
I can relate to it very easily.
I spent over ten years, working in human services - with people who suffer from mental retardation. Although I worked many hours to make ends meet, the job did not pay well. In the group home setting where I worked, you were everything to everybody. I was cook, accountant, personal shopper, valet, maid... I could go on and on. The reason why I kept doing it was because, as with your job, you eventually realize that it is not about the money. No matter how horrible my day was, I always slept well with the knowledge that I had helped someone that day. It's a great feeling. Kudos to you, and thanks for a great verse,
lizzie
119
119
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a sad story that hits close to home for me. Someone dear to me was stricken with and ultimately died with Alzheimer's. It is a heartless disease.
I did encounter some issues, which I noted below.
Of course, these are only my opinion. Take them for what they are worth.
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon


must have absorbed all colors in the spectrum the colors
Her life was as colorful as the rainbows she was always searching in pursuit of her dreams--dreams that often came true. Her life was as colorful as the rainbows she was always searching for, as she pursued her dreams--dreams that often came true.
I would go through and break up some of your longer sentences, like this one Aunt Sarah's memory was so sharp, never forgetting any name or face, and always beating the contestants on Wheel of Fortune--my Mom's favorite game show. Aunt Sarah's memory was so sharp. She never forgot a name or face, and she was always beating the contestants on Wheel of Fortune--my Mom's favorite game show.
of weight, and uncharacteristically devoid of any make-up. was uncharacteristically
I figured they were on the flight she missed. if you are referring to luggage, it would be 'it' not 'they'
"Her job was so demanding that I found all kinds of excuses to the changes in her behavior I am not sure what you are trying to say here
It was too difficult for me to imagine that the woman's most powerful brain is dying.
as opposed to her other brain?
We hang on to every word the cop said. hung or were hanging
as if it pained her from trying to remember me. as if it pained her to try to remember me.
thanks for sharing this,
lizzie
120
120
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is great; an interesting prologue to a longer story. I used to have a passion for Greek mythology. This is reminiscent of that.
Only a couple of technical things below;
part of each of them that was sentient was aware of the others masses I think this should be others'
The advantage of the Orbs had over the Masses remove of
My only other suggestion would be to tighten your sentences a little bit. I think that some could be given more impact by breaking them up. Not changing the content, mind you. Just making them more succinct.
Of course, this is just my opinion.
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon

I enjoyed this an look forward to reading more,
lizzie
121
121
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very well done. This is a nicely polished piece. I did not find any grammatical or typographical errors. Although this is a short snippet, it moves along well and does not drag. I feel this character's anger with every step she takes.
You give me good insight into her emotions as well as her surroundings.
Well done,
lizzie
122
122
Review of The Last Laugh  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was good. I usually tire of a first person retelling, but you did this quite well. I think, if it were me, I might forgo some of the detail in the beginning and get to the nut a little more quickly. I enjoyed the twist at the end, where your main character learns the truth of her heritage and sees the truth of the tragedy that was the family she grew up with.
There were some editing issues which I have included below.


I was only three when my brother failing sandbox I think you mean failed here.
That was when and when I learned to read and write you have an extra when here
Justin was our mother's favorite. favorites
We continued my studies in private as the first mention of them to my mother met with less than approval. this sentence sounds awkward to me
Justin, my brother, would find any excuse not to ride, his fear of equines clearly visible on his face and from his body language whenever the animals were in the proximity.. I would break this sentence up
I continued taking lessons until in my mid to late teens. I would suggest until I was 13 or 14
she didn't have the opportunity to threaten the paramedics with their jobs in her uncoils state. unconscious
while my Cliff's parents picked up my expenses my?
before deciding to call to our father. you have and extra to
Father flew out west for a week to visit with me and my family, meeting his son-in-law, granddaughter and great-grandchildren for the first time. did I miss something? who is this son-in-law? I thought Cliff went to war and did not return
to buy a house that I defaulted on making him responsible for the it needs editing
child through couldn't remember why though
even hat me hate

She made me feel inferior all the time, so completely. I think you could do away with (so completely)
I found myself being chased. this creates an odd and unlikely image in my mind, given what you have told me about this family, ie. wealthy, sophisticated, refined
I hated to see him go almost as much as the thought of the two hour drive home knowing how distraught Mother would be without her 'little boy' and what that meant for me. again, I would break this up

lizzie
The beauty of the written word is in the emotions they evoke. Hate my characters or love them; as long as your feelings are genuine and run deep. If I have succeeded in making you feel something, I have succeeded as an author.
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123
123
Review of love sonnet  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Vance,
This is a beautiful expression of love. It flows nicely. I love the way you progress from a life pre-love to post-amore.
Without a muse, my words languished mislaid
To a heart that now around you closes.
These lines, in particular, I really enjoyed.
keep writing,
lizzie
124
124
Rated: E | (4.0)
Vance,
this poem is very intriguing.
Ensuring my selfish pretensions
To knowledge remain unchallenged.
I love these two lines.
There are certainly those of us who love our ignorance, but, from what I can see, you are not one of them.
keep writing,
lizzie
125
125
Review of The Photograph  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed this. It is a well told story of an older gentleman, reminiscing of better times. The focus is on a picture taken at a vacation spot that was often visited, in his younger days.
The following are just some suggestions/comments. As always, these are just one woman's opinions.
 My View on Reviews Open in new Window. (13+)
If you received a review from me or are reviewing something that I wrote, please read this
#1419592 by 4theLoveofWriting Author IconMail Icon

I notice that you connect several sentences with 'and'. In a writing course I took once, it was advised to limit the use of 'and 'or 'but' whenever possible. Of course you cannot completely cut them out, however, in my writing, I have tried to employ this. I have been pleased with the results.
below are two examples;
It would be several hours before the sun burnt the vapors off and allowed the warming rays to engulf us. rather - It would be several hours before the sun burnt the vapors off, allowing the warming rays to engulf us. An easy change. In my opinion, it gives the sentence a little more impact. Of course, just my opinion.
I'm sure I told him at least a hundred times, but I didn't have the right words to express what a warm feeling came over me every time my eyes glanced upon it. rather - I'm sure I told him at least a hundred times. I just didn't have the right words to express what a warm feeling came over me every time my eyes glanced upon it. In this sentence, also, you might consider changing the phraseology, 'glanced upon it' to 'looked at that frame'. To me, glanced upon it seems a very poetic turn of phrase for an elderly woodworker. Could just be me though, lol.
My son (Spencer, Jr.) and Trey's (Little Spencer's) brothers, along with their boys again, maybe it's just me - I found this confusing. Maybe you can clarify the familial connection here.
Anyways, I enjoyed this, it was a pleasant read,
lizzie
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