My name is Marci Missing Everyone, and I will be reviewing your piece today as part of the challenge for "Game of Thrones" and the House of Florent. Wishing you a Happy Birthday!!!
*Disclaimer: Everything I have to say is my humble opinion. If I mention something that is against your artistic views, please throw it at one of my enemies!
Introduction - The award caught my attention right away, and then I read the title and brief description. Both compelled me further into your piece, and I'm glad they did. No wonder Sally gave you such a beautiful ribbon!!!
Tone & Mood/Emotional Impact - Wow! What a rough way to grow up! Stories like this break my heart completely. We can't always assume the poetry is about the writer, but in this case, I have a feeling it is. And I have to say, you've come a long way from that point in time.
Rhyme, Form & Flow - This is a free verse poem that flows extremely well. Later, I'll point out more in-depth analysis, but the use of rhyming and assonance through the piece really add to easy meandering through the thoughts of this poem. Interesting rhymes: within/discipline and superintendent/irreverent.
Poetic Devices noticed and used effectively - Since this poem is so long, I can't point out all instances of every poetic device, but I will point out some of the examples that caught my attention the most.
Alliteration: look/left, harder/having/hope, forgotten/form, bubble/bust, and leave/light.
Interline Rhymes: fighting/fight/sight and separate/dilate/saved/fate.
Favorite Lines/Stanzas -
But these days aren't the same as always.
Fight off regret so I don't forget
but I was no accident.
So what if I was unplanned?
That never meant I had to be so damned.
Through life experiences I have risen smarter
Suggestions - When you are doing formal writing like a poem, you should write out the number's word instead of writing the actual number. ie: 17, 14, 4th, 31st, 41, and 23.
Until next time... Don't forget to feed your dragon...
Marci Missing Everyone
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