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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mgmiles01
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510 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Quietness  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Lori J, thank you for sharing "Quietness." I loved it and I related to the feeling. I know that kind of quietness and it is needed now during COVID-19. So many people are stressed and feeling anxious and many are praying for that deep kind of quietness that comes through in your poem.

Why I read it: It was recommended in the Spiritual Newsletter
What I liked: The briefness of the poem and the directness of the message
What changes would I make: Very minor and are covered under my recommendations below.
Recommendations:
1. Deep with in (within) my heart
2. All in (is) right in my world.

I enjoyed reading your poem.

WRITE ON, Write on!
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2
Review by G. B. Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
Loved this. I was one of those people who dreamed of being a secretary when I grew up and so I taught myself typing at age ten, and one of the first sentences that I learned to type perfectly was " The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog".

I have not thought about that one sentence in over fifty years. LOL Thanks for the reminder.

Thanks for sharing.


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Review by G. B. Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
Loved this. I was one of those people who dreamed of being a secretary when I grew up and so I taught myself typing at age ten, and one of the first sentences that I learned to type perfectly was " The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog".

I have not thought about that one sentence in over fifty years. LOL Thanks for the reminder.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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for entry "Invalid Entry
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I like the title -- Definition of insanity. It is always exciting to thinking about where one would be in a year, but it is more exciting to see the year pass and then compare where you thought you would be to where you are.

Thanks for sharing.
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Review of Names  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
So, Mia, which name di you choose?

When I was growing up, one of my pets had three puppies. I refused to give them away, and since we were on a farm, my Mother allowed me to keep them.

I named them "Did he bite you," "Yes, he bit me," and "Did it hurt."

Until this day, my cousins, other family members, and friends still tease about those dogs' names.

They knew their names and it was fun to have people come around and try to figure out why I gave them those names. It did not take long for them to get an answer.

LOL
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Review of Waiting on God  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Susan, this is a powerful message in very few words.

Thank you so much for sharing.


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7
7
Review of Christmas Eve  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Brenpoet, I am knocked off my feet my this perfectly written poem! Thank you so much for sharing. I noticed that this poem was written in 2011 during the holiday season, and realized that the message was clearly the reason for the season of Christmas.

Why I read it: It was a random selection
What I liked: Everything
Suggestions: None

Thank you for sharing.

Write on! Right on!


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8
8
Review of in the dark  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Shawn J, thank you for sharing. Your piece seems to be an examination of your feelings and why you shared them with someone else.

Why I read it: It was randomly selected
What I liked: The sharing of the raw emotions felt throughout the piece
Suggestions: Rewrite and edit so that there are breaks in the piece for the reader to transition with you through your emotions. Consider using paragraphs.

Again, thank you for sharing.

Write on! Right on!


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9
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Review of Lipstick  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Kare Enga, thank you for sharing. I had to read the three versions twice to try to discern the difference because they were so slight. The poem reflects many of today's realities, but change has come and so has the way many people view the LGBT community.

Why I read it: It was randomly selected
What I would change: Nothing
What I liked: The story that was told in a few lines -- forbidden love that lasted more than 40 years; through good times and bad times. In between, it seems that Neva passed away leaving Carol to mourn her passing.

Thanks for sharing.

Write on! Right on!


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10
10
Review of Words do hurt  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Miss Rena, thank you for sharing this. We often do not think before we speak and sometimes our words hurt others so deeply. This is a poem for me because it reminds me to think before I speak and to remember that once words are spoken they can never be taken back.

Why I read your poem: It was randomly selected.
What I liked: The truth within the poem
My suggestions: Some editing may be needed

Write on! Right on!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Don Two, thank you for sharing your poem. I appreciated the opportunity to read it and to try to think about what the author (you) were trying to convey.

What I liked: The poem is light and rather catchy.
What I suggest: Reviewing and editing it so that it flows more evenly.
Why I read it: To start the year off by reviewing others' work so that I can improve my writing skills.
What I learned: A few new ways to share a thought in poetry.

Thank you again for sharing and remember, these are just my thoughts. You are the author.

Write on! Right on!


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12
12
Review of "A Day"  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Netty, I love the way you personalized one of my favorite passages in the Bible. "A DAY' is very nicely reworded to share with the reader how short a day can be but how long it can also when Biblically thinking about it. I could relate to one day with God, the Lord being like 1,000 years, and yes, the peace that one finds in God really does surpass all understanding. I, too, am grateful and thankful for the creation of life and allowing us to live it one day at a time with the choice to be in God's presence all of the time.

What did I like about "A DAY?" It w had a spiritual base and covered passages in the Bible that I like.
Why did I read it? It was a random piece under the Read & Review section
Suggestions? None
Recommendations? Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Freedom  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Aletheaxx, "Freedom" did not touch me. (NOTE: I am sure that it was not supposed to touch me, but I also write, and I write most times for my readers but frequently write just for me.) This one-liner was probably written just for you but showed up in writing.com's random selections for rate & Review. Without this one word --senatile -- I would have been able to connect with this thought. I just was not familiar with the word and could not find a definition for it online.

Why did I read this piece? It was a random selection
What did I like about it? It was one line.
Suggestions: See above
Recommendation? Not sure what to recommend -- my thoughts above are just that my thoughts. In my opinion, the writer always knows best what was intended in the writing.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Miss Fit  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Jimminycritic, thank you for writing this short story. I write it and thought that overall you did a good job in telling the story and you stuck to your storyline. My take away from your story was that this young person was troubled by the departure of her mother (you don't say that) but that is a conclusion that could be reached. You also show a loving father with skills, but not the skills needed to reach his daughter in current mental status, even though he was willing to try and made a great sacrifice to do so. Finally, the story suggests that the healing had to come from within and that the daughter made that transition and overcame her problem including her loneliness.

Why I read this story? It was a random selection by writing.com
What did I like? I liked the storyline and the shortness of the story.
Suggested changes: ...they really didn’t know why she threw violent fits(.) (These last three words are not needed-- like she did.) He raised her in the countryside and had to hire help to home school (Homeschool) her. At breakfast, her dad had madeher (make her) a cheese omelet... ... therefore, she never shared (it) with him. something about (the) whole idea of communicating with nature, naturally, just seemed right. ...She wouldn’t need to throw fits any more (anymore) since now she had the means...
Recommendations? Write on. WRITE ON!
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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Tim Chiu, "The One in the Zone" was one of those poems that I might have chosen to not read because of the title and the content. At first, I thought it was going to be about football (not one of my favorite sports), but then as I read on, I was no longer sure of what was being conveyed. So, I went along with the writer to the very end, and asked would I read this poem again? I decided no even though I pretty much liked the flow and the rhyming at the end of each line.

Why did I read this poem? It was a random selection
Why did I like? The rhyming and the length of the poem.
What would I change? Nothing about the poem, but the description line so that it helps the reader to better understand what is being conveyed in the poem. That would have helped me.
Suggestions? See above.
RecommendationS? Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of I Am  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
BSbyBS, some days we just have to put it out there "I AM!" Nothing more and nothing less. I exist. I live and breathe and feel and laugh and cry and need and love and all of those things and sometimes all at the same time. Thank you for sharing this piece. You are not alone in your feelings nor in your thinking about who you are and what you want others to know about you -- especially when it seems that you are invisible or unwanted.

Why did I read this? It was a random selection, and it was short
What did I like? It was short, to the point, easy to relate to, and self-explanatory.
Suggestions: None

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of The Honeymoon  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
WOW, Very Thankful, a bold story about two very bold, inconsiderate, and deceitful people -- husband and maid of "honor" -- what honor. Equally bold and deceitful was the husband that felt the need to cheat on his honeymoon. WOW! Finally, ownership and domestic violence is never the answer to a broken heart even when it feels justified. Why not just cut your losses and be thankful for learning early in the game before becoming vested? Interesting.

Why did I read it? Assigned by writing.com in the read and review column.
What did I like? The telling of the story, but shocked by the ending.
Suggestions: NOne

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Nature's Lulluby  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Silver, you are one step ahead of me in writing short stories. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed this short story because it was about my most favorite piece of nature-- trees. I am amazed how much trees talk. Different trees make different sounds, and bare trees are so quiet you can hear yourself breath. I often sit under trees or sit somewhere watching the leaves blow and listening to their chatter. Glad to meet someone else that can get lost in the sounds and soft whispers of the trees.

Why did I read this piece? It was a random selection by writing.com
What did I like? The subject matter -- trees
Suggestions: None

Write on. WRITE ON!


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19
Review of McDonald's Lunch  
Review by G. B. Williams
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lou-Thankful for new words, your "McDonald Lunch" you took me down a very nostalgic past. My memory was my father taking me to my first Burger King and eating my first Whopper in Pompano Beach, Florida. Wow, those were the times, and yes a much simpler life. Thank you for sharing this piece.

Why did I read it? It was a random selection from writing.com
What did I like? I like the way you told the story and weaved in so many pieces of my simple past without ever missing a beat about how important that lunch was at the new McDonald's.
What would I change? Absolutely nothing.
Recommendation: Write on. WRITE ON!


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20
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
DeSoto, thank you for sharing your story, "Tigerstars Revenge!" It shows your ability to focus on your subject matter and to tell a story.

Why I decided to read Tigerstars Revenge -- it was a random selection by writing.com.
What did I like about the story -- it was rather short, but delivered a punch.
What I would change -- the following:

1. I would review and edit the story --

Change their to there -- Scourge just stands their (there) unable to escape Tigerstar...

Change their to there -- Tigerstar gets up and looks at Scourge who stands their (there) covered...

Check capitalization and spelling for consistency -- Scourge got to his paws ''now!'' tigerstar (Tigerstars) hissed and...

Check capitalization and spelling for consistency -- ... he couldn't so he walked over to tigerstar (Tigerstars)

My final suggestion would be that you review and edit the entire piece.

Thank you for allowing me to read and review your story. I hope that you can use some of what I have offered.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Things I Remember  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Matt Earl, "Things I Remember" touched me in just the right place for they are also things that I am sure many others remember from their childhood. What a nice way to capture an entire era of one's life. I get the sense that your childhood was a little bit rough and even hinted of domestic violence and maybe even a little child abuse. As a person very concerned and previously involved in domestic violence care provider, I saw many children who will remember just those things from their childhood when they are grown and looking back. Thank you for sharing, and I pray that if this poem is about your childhood, that you will seek counseling and closure on that era in your life.

Why I read your poem? It was a random selection by writing.com
What did I like about your poem? I told a very tough story in a very few words
What would I change? Nothing
Recommendation: Write on! WRITE ON.


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Review of The Gory Pumpkin  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Tim Chiu, thanks for writing and sharing your poem about Halloween. I often consider getting pumpkins to dress up my yard, and for many reasons decide not to make that leap of faith. Your poem helped me to confirm that spending time to carve a pumpkin that might just take me a lot of time and end up on my lawn, porch or even my car, might not be the best use of my time. I do admire my neighbors' relatives and friends who give out candy to the children in the neighborhood. I, personally enjoy the children ringing my doorbell. Some are so timid, and cute, while others way pass their youth, but still enjoying their days gone by collecting free candy in pillowcases and the like.

Why did I read your poem? It was a random selection by writing.com.
What did I like? The subject matter addressed in the poem.
What would I change? Nothing
Recommendation: Write on! WRITE ON.


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Kate, thank you for sharing. I read the prologue to your new book and immediately wondered what age group is the book going to reach. I did not learn much about the book from the prologue other than I should read on to find out why the parents did not allow Grace to go to the beach.

Why did I read this piece? It was randomly assigned by writing.com.
What did I like? It was very short
What didn't I like? It did not give enough information as a prologue
Suggestions: Write on. WRITE ON!



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Review of Trembling limbs  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Spidey, good morning. Thanks for sharing "Trembling Limbs." I am not afraid of spiders, but I know lots of people who are an act in the manner described in your poem. I think the poem captures the other side of the coin from the spider's viewpoint. As humans, we act on our fears on every level, and I know that spiders and many other creatures do not. Most try to avoid us and usually if allowed, will scurry away.

Why I read your poem? It was a random selection by writing.com.
What did I like? I liked the way the poem was written and the story that it told.
What would I change? Nothing
Suggestions: Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of A new love  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Welcome To My Reality Bank & M...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
G.Bayley, thank you for writing and sharing. Good storyline and your message is clear Your title reflects the story "A New Love," and explains in detail what, why, and how, but it was a little bit of a challenge for me to read and stay focused on the story. I am not a grammarian or real writer but felt some kind of way about the written words. Please remember as you read my comments that these are my opinions and I in no way mean them as a negative. Use what you can and disregard everything else.

Why I did I read this piece? Random selection from writing.com
What did I like? It was a love story
What would I change? the writing style and presentation
Suggestion? Rewrite, edit tightly, and maybe consider an app that checks the grammar and punctuation
Recommendation? Write on! WRITE ON!




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