The short story retelling of a scene from the film, "Hidalgo" is a rich and engaging piece that speaks of a time that is long behind us. Yet the love of the western front and love stories still entrap us so we love to read more of them.
My heart turned for the woman who was caught with the American in the wigwam, she committed the forbidden act of speech outside of the presence of a male Indian such as herself. It seems so foreign to think that this was the custom. Yet it was a part of the culture and ways of the Indian people; something that was to be respected and obeyed.
I thought that you did a great job with re-writing this scene and even though I have yet to see the movie, I will look for this part of the story.
I am sure that it will be lacking that special touch that you added to the interaction between Hidalgo and the love interest in this story.
The poem, "You Were Always There" is a beautiful tribute a loving mother that was always there for her daughter. :-0
It is so refreshing to read someone speak well of their parent, especially in this day and age when most people seem to not appreciate all that has been done for them.
This line - "Just for me, your "Kinky-nu"." is just adorable!
This piece, "Reflector" is an interesting read. It begins with the telling of two twins that are considered "identical" but in the minds of the twins, they are two separate people. Two people who desire separate lives of their own.
I was flowing along with the story until it jumped into a memory which is not clear in the writing. Even as I read through this piece, it was not clear why Daryl had stopped by to visit and then the story begins to to speak of a memory of a girl who the speaker sees as his yet this is not clear either.
I would work on adding more clarity to this piece. Also, you might want to watch tenses - "kissing" is a present tense but in the same line you were "embraced" is a past tense use.
I think that if you defined what is the issue between the two twins a bit further, this would be an intersting read.
The thoghtful introspective piece "Butterfly" speaks so concisely and clearly on the person who desires flight but struggles to maintain the levelness that everyone is expecting from them.
I thought it was such a symbolic image - the butterfly coming to visit in the classroom as your mind was full of this worry and confining feelings.
It is always the ones that care about us that sometimes understand us so little.
I could really "feel" this line - "One cannot dwell on past memories of happier times. The dreamer must awaken, either to release the dream forever and live in perpetual misery, or to chase the dream in earnest until it becomes one's new reality"
This is the hardest yet most rewarding course of action for the one who desires the true dream. The reality that will take them places they have only seen in their dreams.
This is a great piece of writing and I really enjoyed reading it!
The poem, "Lost Chance" speaks of a love that is lost without the other party's knowledge of his involvement.
It is said that love that is not known can not be shown and this poem does a good job of showing the final effects of waiting, pondering too long; the love you seek will move on without you.
The last two lines really struck me: " I dare not take you away from her.
I dare not say I was hurt" There is such a tenderness in the tone. At least if you cannot have your heart's desire, you have your pride in the end.
The short story, "The Bishop's Hand" is a marvelous tale of two sides who fight a battle for reasons that they don't truly understand but they still remain soldiers to the end.
I enjoyed how you set the historical scene; it was as if I were set there in the Bishop's Hand viewing this never-ending battle between the Germans and the Scots. The two sides are brought together one day when one of the young Germans decides that he wants to relax for one moment in time on his birthday. From there, they all watch in mutual contempt as a vicious rat chases a small defenseless kitten; for that one time, they are no longer fighting a war, but united in the thought of freeing the kitten.
I loved this last line in the first paragraph - "and if you closed your eyes long enough, and really concentrated, you could imagine the sun’s rays coming down solely for you" ~sigh~ if only it were that simple.
I was sorry to see how it had to end but war is war; it cannot have Hollywood endings.
Again, another wonderful job here Nicholas; keep up the superb writing!
The poem "Reflection" is a poem of uncertainty, confusion and fear that will not let go of its captor.
I enjoyed reading it but it didn't seem like a poem to me, but more of a tale of someone who is reflecting on themself but can't escape from what they see.
But again, that is just what I saw; take it for what it is worth!
The short tale "Dancing in the Rain" tells the lovely tale of a relationship that was cut short by an untimely death yet the one that is left behind discovers that the love is still there with her and she can still dance with him in the rain.
I really enjoyed this tale; it was sweet and heartwarming throughout the entire piece!
This poem, "Epiphany" says in such a small number of lines what many people have declared in the heart...in their lives after many years of living in stagnant existence.
I really enjoyed the lines - "The moment your dark shadow
rises, and I know that you’ll be safe,
I turn,
and walk away.
I’m sorry to leave you in this way,
but -" This is so lyrical and breathtaking at best!
It is beautiful to know when the time has come to move on because that one that you are with wants nothing more and you will die if you cannot go on.
The poem, "Moving On" is a strong and bold poem that declares that life moves on, in spite of the obvious shortcomings people may see in ones life.
I liked the way that you made a comparison to the "constants" in your life and your place in this life. It is sad when people want to hold grudges; not reconcile nor mend the ties that bind but in the end, dear lady you will go on!
The poem, "Think" is a cry out to the young girls of the world to not act on their emotions but to consider themselves, their actions because the choices you make will have an effect on your life.
It is straightforward, no glitter to it just the straight truth. I liked it.
The short story, "Midnight Locomotive" is a eerie type of tale that started to get my blood going but ended too abruptly for me to truly become frightened.
I think that you started with some great ideas, illustrious words and detail but then it stopped.
One of the lines that I enjoyed was: "The hissing steam of the black sleek monster sends a chill up and down my spine." I could feel that one!
Anyway, I hope that you develop this story further and I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Here in Elisa, Feline Stik's folder she houses a solid collection of song lyrics that span many different ranges. From the song "Give Me A Sign" that is written to a lover who continues to cause her pain to "Remember the Pain", a song that describes angst that just won't go away to "Shockingly Stupid" a song that pokes fun at artists and their artsty ways.
This is a great folder and I hope more people stop by to check out the lyrics!
The forum, Lyrically Speaking, is a great place for people who love lyrics...well written lyrics, that is and for those people with the gift for writing those lyrics.
I enjoyed seeing a place where other lyricists can stop by and people like myself, who cannot write a lyric but enjoys basking in the sun of these talented writers, is welcome as well.
This poem, "Emotional Panic" speaks of the tortured soul who is seeking emotional release but is bound by the fears and pains of a life unrealized.
The words are clear and illusory in design; I could see this trapped person, who desires to be set free but wants to have a sense of confirmation of that things will be "safe" before they are willing to make that first successful climb over the wall that their mind has built for them.
I especially liked these lines ~
"Even when a chance for love calls, These fears create nothing but rejection"
Pretty intense piece! I enjoyed reading it, even though the subject is heartbreaking.
Oh, this soliloquy of love is wonderful! "Delivered Two" is full of some much love and emotion; there is passion dripping from each line as you describe the love in every life activity your love takes interest.
The line - "How could I have been exposed to such splendor?" Oh sweet rememberance!
or the line - "I embrace you in my heart forever, for I can’t keep my love, wife, life…" No words...no words.
This is just a beautiful piece of writing, though it is quite sad.
The short story, "The Shards of Glass" which cleverly begins with a young girl who finds broken glass outside of her family home one night while sneaking away to meet a few friends.
Now the girl always leaves a blowup doll in her bed to fool her parents so they won't know she is out of the house; now with the glass broken, she will have to go back inside and risk being caught.
Well, as she goes to check on the family she finds that they are not only not in the bed but have pulled a great prank on her to teach her a lesson on sneaking out of the home at night.
I never saw this ending coming and was really surprised and amused at the comical, yet slick ending.
Great story!
The Tale of Coco Adore
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In the short story, 'Eve' we read of a young woman who has read one or two many mystery books and finds herself in a real-life "911" situation.
Eve is depicted as a careful, watchful woman who is home alone while the husband and kids are away when she gets a knock on the door. It is only the police warning her of a felon loose in the area, yet as she begins to settle back for more reading, there is more knocking on the door.
It is the police again...but one is possibly deceased and the other one is dying on the sofa. Now, our heroine does what anyone would in this situation...leave!
The story shows that the police, the very ones who were supposed to help keep her and the rest of the neighbors safe ended up needing emergency assistance in the end.
I felt that the story, though good, left me wanting more. It seemed like a good beginning of something real interesting.
The "Community" folder from Omicron is a nice and eclectic collection of the different community activities that he is a part of and the folders that house each one.
From the "Children's Story Contest" folder which is a very nice short story contest for writers of children's tales all the way to "How-To" folder where Omicron explains some of the items he has made, it is a great place to visit and see new things!
I have been through all of the other folders from Omi/Kitty's Image collection and I must say that form a complement of various types of image styles for anyone to browse through and review.
From the "Omicron the Locomotive" sig which is just a great sig that Omi/Kitty made for himself to the "Children's Story Contest" logo that was created for a children's story contest hosted by again, by Omi/Kitty you just get to see several different facets to his work.
This is a noteworthy folder and I hope that you get a chance to stop by and R&R it. You won't be disappointed!
Not only does Omi/Kitty make a great sig for to set one a part from the rest but he also has a great C-Note collection to boot!
The "Happy C-Notes" folder holds a few C-Notes that are either for special occasions or just a "pick me up" from a friend.
The C-Note Images folder contains all of the pics used for the C-Note's. It is a great bunch of shots and you just have to take a look for yourself to enjoy them fully.
This is a great folder and I hope that you take some time out to browse by it!
The images folder from Omi/Kitty got bunny flowers! is a great collection of all of the images that he has eitehr created for himself or other members here at Writing.com.
From the first folder "By Me for Me" until you have browsed through to the last folder "How-to" images, you will be treated to a pleasant sight for sore eyes!
This is a great folder and I hope that you will stop by and take a peek for yourself.
You won't be disappointed!
The Tale of Coco Adore
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