Hi Mellyora,
Well, my young newbie, pray forgive me for not reviewing your piece this past week but I wanted to take my time and go through it, bit by little bit, to ensure that I am giving you the review that you are looking for in this work. 
So, because this piece is so long, I will not make the suggested corrections off to the side but bolded within for you to see and evaluate.
Mellyora hummed softly to herself as she arranged the flowers and herbs laid out before her on the large table. When she heard the creak of the front doors open or opening she jumped. Broswell had never fully gotten use to Mellyora becoming the lady of the house. A situation made worse by her frequent travels. He would not be happy she had chosen this room to work in preferring that this type of work be done out of the main house. She on the other hand was tired of the constant dampness associated with all the rain they had suffered as of late. She had hoped to this would go without his notice but as she listened to him greet an apparent guest, she realized they were heading her way.
Cursing softly she tucked the flyaway strands of her blond hair behind her ears. Trying to make both the room and herself look neater she only succeeded in smearing a smudge of dirt across her cheek. She squeaked as her fears were realized and Broswell brought the guest into the room.
“Lady Mellyora!” he exclaimed. She flushed first probably not necessary to denote if this was a first or second flush at the reprimand but the sharp retort died on her tongue as she saw who followed in his wake.
Turning an even deeper shade of red she all but whispered his name, “Jashen?”
Jashen flashed her a brilliant smile still shaken shaking some of the dampness out of his hair. Though surprised to see her in her father’s home at this time of year, he masked it effortlessly. Making a perfect bow he addressed her formally more for Broswell’s benefit than for hers. “Lady Kyndale, a pleasure as always.”
Mellyora smiled her gaze flashing between Broswell and Jashen, “What are you,” she faltered, “I mean,” she smiled again trying to find the right words to ask him why he would come so far from the main city to her father’s home when she shouldn’t even be there.
Broswell saved them both, “Lord Kyndale will be with you in just a few moments.”
He turned to leave and Mellyora called after him, “Please send Anna before you fetch my father.” He nodded and made exaggerated motions of propping the doors wide open.
Mellyora continued to collect her items as Jashen approached,. here "What are doing here, Mellyora? I thought you would be in town by now.”
She nodded handing a large bundle of items to the girl Anna who had just arrived. Accepting the items the girl scurried from the room as Mellyora looked it over one more time to be sure it was now acceptable for her father to have a meeting.
“Normally you are correct, I should be in town already,” she paused and smiled her own brilliant smile at Jashen, “butmy brother Daavyd is finally coming home.”
Jashen raised a brow,. “Really?”, he thought. then add the next line he wouldn’t have been surprised if the Kyndale lad never recovered enough to return, although with the care he had received, his grey eyes flashed a bit of old anger, but his face smiled. “It is good news indeed ,Melly.”
“Well,” Mellyora came out from behind the table, “I suppose I should get ready for dinner and leave you to your meeting with my father.” There was the slightest hint of a question in her voice as she looked at him. She didn’t understand what he could possibly want with her father.
Jashen smiled. He knew she was curious and confused by his presence, but he was not prepared yet to fill her in. The smudge of dirt on her face suddenly became irresistible and he reached his hand out to touch it just as her father entered clearing his throat.
“Da!” Mellyora smiled and Lord Kyndale dropped all thoughts of inappropriateness. Reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheekseries of events; should use a comma here she excused herself and rushed up to her rooms.
Anna was waiting for her as she reached her chambers, possibly not necessary for clarity. If you just said, ...giggling as mellyora...instead of clarifying her as the maid. We already know that. the maid was giggling as Mellyora entered, “Was that him M’lady? Was that the Lord Jashen remove the THE herethe one who saved Daavyd?”
Mellyora blushed knowing full well she had exaggerated Jashen’s role in the rescue to Anna and Liza, but to her the fact that he was there weighed more heavily than any of the others. They had rescued him for pay, only Jashen had gone for other reasons. “Yes Anna, that’s him.” She sat on her stool and let Anna begin to loosen her locks from the thick braid that had trapped most of them for the day. “But why is he here?” She began to worry that she had done something wrong in town then chided herself for it. First needs a comma she had long since stopped being the little Kyndale girl. A title hard to lose when you have 6 older brothers. Secondly, it would be Jashen’s brother coming even if that were the case. Third, she smiled, Jashen would never do that to her. She was sure of it.
She stared off as Anna prattled on about what a fine knight Jashen was and how handsome as she combed out Mellyora’s hair. She was so lost in her thoughts that she cried out when the doorway suddenly flew open and Liza raced in crying, “ANNA! ANNA!”, then she stopped dead in her tracks almost as if she were surprised to find Mellyora in her own chambers. “M’lady!” she gasped hard for air.
“Liz? What is it?” Mellyora got to her feet. “What happened to you?”
As Liza caught her breath she flushed realizing her lady may not approve. The news was so exciting however, she had to try.
“Wellneeds a comma I was near the room where your father and Lord Jashen are.” She hesitated as she came to the part she knew would get her in trouble.
“No!” Mellyora cut her off, “Don’t say another word Liza, please.” She desperately wanted to know what they were saying but she wouldn’t hear it this way, second hand from gossiping maids. “You shouldn’t be listening to my father’s private conversations.” Her reprimand had no force behind it as her nerves had already begun working against her.
She took her seat, “Annaneeds a comma can you finish my hair? Liza, please get my crimson gown for dinner.”
An hour later Mellyora made her way to the dining area. Her father was waiting for her at the bottom of the staircase.
He smiled at her and kissed her gently on the forehead after watching her descend theWe want to watch unnecessary repetition. Staircase is said in the sentence in the previous line. staircase. “You look beautiful Mellyora.” He hugged her tightly.
“Da?” she looked up at him, her eyes an ice blue color that made a perfect match to the maid he had married so many years ago. “What’s going on needs a comma Da?”
He patted her reassuringlya period here. The end of the thought., “Everything is fine Mel, Jashen would like to talk to you before dinner though so I’ll see the two of you in a few moments.”
He left her then and made his way to the dining room. She stood in silence stunned by his behavior and unsure of what she should do. After a few moments of contemplation, she pushed open the large door to the room she had seen Jashen in earlier. He was pacing and stopped immediately upon seeing her.
He had thought the hard part over after speaking with her father, but he realized upon seeing the stunning image before him that this would be far harder. He was more accustomed to seeing Mellyora in armor, skillfully wielding a sword when she was not playing her harp. Now she stood before him in an exquisite crimson gown trimmed in some luxurious grey fabric. For a moment he doubted himself.
Mellyora frowned upon seeing him. This was not at all the Jashen she was use to seeing. She panicked. Something must be drastically wrong for him to be so serious. She took a step forward, “Jashen? What is it? What…”
He raised his hand to silence her and she nervously clamped her mouth shut. She always went on when she was nervous. She had often wondered how he stood to be near her when that happenedperiod here; delete the comma, captialize the qquietly she whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“No Mel,” he smiled, “It’s just that,” he did not often find himself at a loss for words. While he may not be the speech maker his brother was, he was not use to finding himself tongue-tied. He had thought of this moment often over the last few weeks but nothing had prepared him for it.
He knelt before her and reached out his right hand to her. She gave him the hand he asked for, covering her mouth with the other. Tears sprung to her eyes and Jashen couldn’t help but smile. This part was exactly as he had imagined. He knew there was no way to do this without bringing his fair lady to tears. “Jashen.” She whispered and he smiled. You might want to decide where you mention your Jasheen smiling and leave it with that.
“Mel,” he smiled again,you are repeating a line used right in the paragraph before this. We already know that he is probably still smiling, it is a happy event. the broad smileAnd here again. Watch for redundancy and unnecessary repetition.was now fixed permanently on his face and he squeezed her hand, “I never thought anything would make me consider there was anything for me other than service to my brother. Having known you over the last few years, well, I think about more than coin to line my purse. I really can’t barebearthe thought of being without you.” The tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now which she tried desperately to prevent with her free hand. “Mellyora Kyndale, will you please marry me?”
Without a care for the delicate fabrics of her gown Mellyora sunk to her knees and flung her arms around Jashen. Letting the tears flow freely now, she sobbed into his shoulder. All she had wanted since the days she had first met him and he had believed in her abilities was to be able to have a life with him. Given his position she had never dreamed it would ever have been possible.
“Mel?” Jashen gently took her by the shoulders pushing her away so he could see her face.
Her tears were subsiding and she looked at him a slight expression of bewilderment playing across her features. “What is it?”
He smiled one more time and now she was unable to resist touching his cheek, “Mel, will you?add a comma or ...since it is part of the same sequence of events. Will you marry me?”. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small ring he had had crafted months ago.
“Yes Jashen, yes…yes I will marry you.” The tears started again and Jashen laughed as he slipped it onto her shaking hand.
He reached over and pulled her face close to his kissing her eyes, “Nocomma you don’t, no more tears. You are happycommaright?”
She nodded and smiled letting him help her get to her feet. Only briefly as they then made their way to the dining area did she wonder if Jashen truly knew what he was getting himself into by becoming a part of the Kyndale family.
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Well, Mellyora we are at the end of your reviwe. This was a heartwarming read, even though I had some spelling and/or grammatical suggestions, which tend to take away from the story, in my opinion, I finihsed it thinking of the continuation of Melly's life with Jashen. It is a delicate balance with portraying a character who is supposed to be strong and a fighter of sorts, to one who is easily shocked and frightened due to a bad set of nerves, which feels somewhat of a stretch to me, but I am sure that she will develop into more a solid, not easily deterred person the more stories are written about her. 
I think that there needs to be more time spent with your character of Jashen for me to get a true feel for him. I left thinking him nice enough, as I wondered what trouble he'd saved Mellyora's brother from that still brought a frown to his face. Again, this is all pointing towards the next saga! 
Nice start, Mellyora and I thank you for your patience with this review!  }
The Review Tale of Adore: The tale is not over. It has only just begun.  
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Grade Angels!: The tale is not over. She has only begun:
My lazy rope's now tightly flexed. Here I have another suggested insertion: "Soon you will diappear". It is simple but you get the idea. 
The last line of the stanza above here. 
