Helloooo Opiner! Welcome!
Interesting style of words, as well as interesting line format and presentation. I sincerely like the theme of the piece; but, in honesty, I believe the theme takes a back seat to the "cuteness" (the concentration on forcing rhyme, or placing witty sing-songy style rhyming) within many of the lines.
I suppose this seems critical, yet, you ARE a fine writer: you obviously show a fine grasp of language, and even your "forced" rhyme at times, is much superior to others who lean on simplistic rhyme: i.e. blue-flew; high-sky etc.
I think many words can be cut, as they honestly affect the rhythm of many lines; therefore overpowering what should be a simplistic journey -from Point A (the beginning word in a line) to Point B (the final word of each line).
For example: these lines:
"Things seem quiet just before the storm…
and that is because nature is trying to conform.
Deception in our time has every form…
with the most popular being the supersized for maximum harm."
In my opinion (and it is only MY reading of the lines) - these lines caould be shortened, and would deliver much more impact/humor.
My re-write would be as follows:
"Things seem quiet before the storm,
Nature tries with fever to conform"
"Deception is our history's norm
Is "Supersizing" now reborn?"
These are just examples. All I did was focus on the POINT needed to be expressed in each line. (these are YOUR points, and are good points/observations to be made).
The route to getting to the POINT was through cutting, cutting, cutting excess, confusing, UNNEEDED verbage. (including this phrase: "and that is because" and this phrase: "with the most popular being"). These two phrases jumble up, or put rocks on the road to the POINTS you are trying to make.
Short is better - poets/writers HATE to cut words or even long phrases - it's like being denied your place in the Sun. BUT, you want to capture the reader's attention right away, else they'll wander off and read a magazine or go mow the lawn.
Go back, watch out for trite rhyming cliche words, CUT absolutely all words which jumble the message.....and, in doing that, you'll begin to feel the rhythm, the timing, the melody inherent in the lines. The syllable count will sing easily off the reader's tongue; and the path from POINT A to POINT B will be shorter, yet filled with more drama, more humor.....and leave the reader with the "ah, ha" moment when they think of your cleverness in using language to force them to think (and to remember).
KEEP WRITING!!
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