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Review Requests: OFF
380 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
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Favorite Genres
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Least Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi (for the most part.) ***To be continued***
Favorite Item Types
***To be continued***
Least Favorite Item Types
I am not very fond of reviewing poetry items due to my lack of knowledge concerning poetry.
I will not review...
Anything containing cruelty toward animals and children. Explicit sexual content, nor anything over GC.
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of Appearances  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
Please understand I am not a professional editor, so don't be offended or feel slighted by my comments to follow. I do have to add here, that for a story that had to be conveyed with such few words and include specified words, it was a really good work of written art. This piece did a great job of grabbing the attention of the reader (ME!), and making me want to know more. However, if there was a plan agreed upon by the couple for a surrogate, it would make one think that Amber would have been made aware of any 'action' taking place for those purposes. Perhaps, Ted didn't understand that there were more proper and suitable methods for a surrogate to become impregnated? I do understand that if you had more words to work with, things may have been more clear to the reader. As it is, I must assume that Ted didn't go about the surrogate agreement as planned, otherwise, Amber would not have taken it so hard and jumped to the conclusion of Ted cheating on her. I also find myself wondering why Amber's friend Molly was aware of what was going on, but not Amber.


*Paw* What I really liked:
This written piece really makes the reader wonder what is really going on. Did Amber agree to the methods by which the surrogate was to become impregnated? Was Ted taking advantage of an already difficult situation between himself and Amber? If not, why was she so upset? Had Ted and Amber discussed how the surrogate, Kim, was to become a surrogate and agree upon it? So What I am saying is this really gets the reader wondering why the situation was so upsetting to Amber, if there was an arrangement in place and Ted was not acting outside of the terms of that arrangement. Great job on engaging the reader and making them ant to know more!

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
I am not the best when it comes to grammar and punctuation (yet not the worst), but nothing stood out to me in this piece as being poorly punctuated, etc...

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
So now, inquiring minds wanna know! I am aware that this was a contest entry, but I wonder if it may serve you well, as a longer piece. So many questions are left unanswered for the reader. You could turn this into a wonderful novella if you wanted to take the time to do so. Great job!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
102
102
Review of Yellow Umbrella  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
A sweet, heartwarming little tale of joy and sharing, and of caring. It can bring one such joy, to make even a small, positive difference in another persons life. You conveyed that feeling here. I think it would benefit your piece to break down the paragraphs in to smaller ones. It helps to make it easier for others to read, when the paragraphs are a bit shorter. Varying the length of sentences can make it easier to follow as well. You may wish to read back through this and identify sentences that are too long, and split them up a little. I notice that you are new to WDC, and being so, you may also be new to writing. Don't ever give up that desire. The more you write, the easier it becomes!

*Paw* What I really liked:
I really like that your main character is portrayed as one with a gentle, loving heart. There are not enough people with these attributes in our world anymore. You were able to show how caring about others, can be such a wonderful blessing to those who do.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
Noted typo's
Grammar and punctuation


*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Just know that I found this to be a heartwarming read. I am confident that if you make use of resources available to you, the punctuation will come easier. There are many wonderful people here, that will reach out to offer assistance, if you only ask. And remember, nothing ever written was perfect the first time around. We all must edit several times, even Stephan King, I'll bet! I still struggle when it comes to punctuation and I have taken two college level English comp courses! Write from the heart and be open to editing your work. You will shine!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
103
103
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
My initial impression; based on your description, was wondering why you are out to scare the reader away, before they have a chance to draw their own conclusion? I can relate to your need to share this information, but perhaps, do so at the end of the piece. A good introduction will help you draw more attention to your story, and get more readers and helpful reviews. Your efforts show in your story. It is my belief that you have a very good tale to tell here. I would love to see you put more faith in your abilities, and continue on with it. Any stories, even the best, are not ever fully polished until they have been edited multiple times. Get it out there and build upon it. You can shine it up later. The important thing is to stay with it and get your general idea recorded first. This way you do not lose sight of it or interest in pursuing it! You can pretty it up later.
I am gathering that something extremely evil unfolded in the town this little girl lives in. The fact that the woman, Kaoru, was able to guess where Kayoko was from, based on what she had told the woman, indicates it was not a widespread occurrence. It also makes me wonder what had happened. (Part of the hook.)

*Paw* What I really liked:
I enjoy writing that includes or are based on children and animals. Go figure...just my preference I guess. I really like that with the gift of the necklace, something more would be lurking in the future of the young girl, as you eluded to in the last sentence of this piece. THIS is part of the magic here! This is the stuff that makes the reader want to know more!

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
I did notice that you have misspelled the word "gemstone" you have it spelled 'gymstone'. Punctuation and grammar can easily be helped by using a free grammar checker online and copying and pasting your writing into it. There are many to choose from. One of these programs will help you make corrections when you are doing an edit.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
First, don't scare your audience away in your description! Second, have more faith in your work! It has a ton of potential, and you can make it work. Remember to just get it out there first. Then edit, edit and edit again. Use the tools available to help you, including your friends here at WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
104
104
Review of Depth of Love  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
Certainly not at all what I had expected when choosing this work to review! I must say that the wedding party seemed determined to make the absolute best of the circumstances. I do wonder why the only voice that mattered enough to be heard, was the brides own. I, as a bride may have felt sad that my soon to be wasn't feeling confident enough to speak up in his vow. However, his redeeming action was to catch his bride as she fainted.

I could really sympathize with Sharron, the bride in the brief breakdown prior to the ceremony, as it is well speculated that rain on a wedding day can be a really bad omen.

*Paw* What I really liked:
Chris's father was quite the sport, and came through in great spirits to save the day. Where it may have been a bad memory for eternity, the father came through and made it a special and positive memory for those in attendance. I really enjoyed the part in which you wrote: "Chris’s father let out a hardy laugh and jumped from the stage and into the murky water." this was the major turning point that saved the day for the new couple.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
I did not notice any spelling errors. Punctuation is pretty good (I may have detected a couple of places a comma would have been used, but not my strongest point. So, I do not want to mislead you on this.) All in all this was a well written piece.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I would have loved to have had more details on how the new couple reacted to the 'love boat' and other aspects of this event, but I realize you were writing for a contest, therefore you were limited in how deep you could go into the story. That being said...Bravo! You managed to get enough information into it, to make it a fairly complete short story. Not easy to do when limited to so few words. Aside from this, I do feel you could have improved it by using more powerful wording in the descriptions given on the lighting of the sky and sound of the thunder.
I look forward to reading more of your works!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
105
105
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

A review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
I see at the bottom you made a notation of it being for the "Writers Cramp", so I am guessing you were limited in how many words could be used in writing this. Perhaps, that lent to the 'rushed' feeling of it. I understand, that in a writing contest this can be a usual occurrence, due to the rules applied. Been there myself many times. I found it to be charming, that these two people fell in love in an elevator and in passing. It makes me question if it can be true love, or an attraction to each other. I found myself feeling angry at her "friends", because if they were true friends, she would not have lost them over the situation at work. Obviously Charlie, was spoiled and catered to, and it was his doing that they were let go. Your piece kept me reading to get more information, but it moved too quickly to get it. There are so many questions left to the reader. Is this a criticism? NO, not at all. It is, in my opinion, a sign that you could build this into a longer writing, one that fills in all of the gaps; like, why did elevator guy have to testify and be in protective custody? What was the deal where Charlene was employed, and with Charlie? How long had John and Charlene been acquainted in passing? And so many other loose ends that could all be tied up in a larger piece. GO for it! Your writing, grammar, punctuation is very good! You've got this!


*Paw* What I really liked:!
When John showed up at the locker and was not dead, as presumed turned the whole plot around, especially after he explained his situation. Also, the romantic in me enjoyed the fact that John and Charlene were willing to embrace their feelings for one another, and take a chance at a future together, that obviously would not be a simple one.

*Paw* Suggestions:
In the phrase of the letter Charlene was reading from John, Now it’s an antique that I hope you’ll cherish., I am wondering if there should be a comma after the word 'Now'.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I'd love to see you open this up and run with it. I have too many unanswered questions and I wanna know more! *BigSmile* I think if you were to write this without the confines of a contest, it could turn out to be a great read!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
106
106
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
You posted a review request in the mentee's forum. Although you state you were not so worried about punctuation and spelling being corrected, I will note spelling issues. (punctuation, I will defer you to your mentor on, as it is not my strongest point.)

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
I found this to be a piece that was able to pull me in from the beginning and hold my attention throughout. It is fairly well worded, in my humble opinion. I feel most of the language was fitting for the scenario, but some wording could be improved to reflect the formality of speech a King would use and to fit with other more formal language used. (Some language seems too casual in the overall plot.)

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
I think this has a very good flow and it is easy to read and follow. Very nice! A few suggestions are listed below for small things that I did notice which could improve this slightly.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
I found it to be rather amusing, that the two men were in the midst of a sword fight, yet so amicable to one another. Then at the end, he invited his aggressor, whom apparently he regards as a friend (with a grudge)to go with him on a carriage ride. Yet Camdin had just informed Aldan that the dispute was not settled. This is an interesting and intriguing situation to this reader. It certainly provokes curiosity in me as to how the rest of this story will unfold. (The hook!) It tells just enough to keep you interested, yet wondering about a few of the detail.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here to review suggestions.
*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
107
107
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I was out and about looking for a review or two to do, and I came across your piece. Thank you for sharing!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This sounds like many of my rewards for good deeds done! *Bigsmile* Funny how that can work, huh?
I thought this was a fairly well written story, however it felt just a bit rushed to me, as the reader.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
This had a rather fast pace to it, but was easy to understand and read.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
A family pitching I to help one another is a special thing. Seldom done anymore, sadly. I really like the message this story sends out to the reader. I also appreciate the good humor with which each challenge was accepted and acted upon.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Maybe just slow the pace enough t add a bit more detail to the plot as it unfolds. It just seems to zip from one day to the next, or from one occurrence to the next. As a reader, I appreciate really being able to put myself into the story. However, I also understand that if this was written for a contest, it may have had restrictions preventing you from expounding on details.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all a nice short story with a great message to share. Thank you for allowing me to read it!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
108
108
Review of Cave Cats  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I wandered upon this and found myself curious to see how you created your creatures.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
You were fairly creative in your creation of a creature, yet gave it a general appearance of well known animals, which allows the reader to quickly get a picture of it in their mind, however, you go on to differentiate your creature from the common house cat or wildcat species.

*Paw* Flow:
A good flow throughout most of this, however, I noted just a few things that took away from the flow. I will share these below.

*Paw* What Works:
The detailed coloring and eye description given. Also preferences for food sources, helped set each of the five types of the 'Cave Cats' apart.

*Paw* Suggestions:
*** "The young remain wit the..." Should have been with?
*** "Its eyes, which appear generate their own light after dark," It seems like possibly a word is missing in this area of the sentence. It caused me to have to read it over a few times, and it still didn't seem right.
***"However, periodically one be born with two different colored eyes range in color from a light blue to deep violet" Again, seems like a typo or missing word in this section.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all a smooth flow and very creative. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy reading your work. Just a couple of touch ups, and this will flow great!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
109
109
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
It is Power Reviewers newbie review raid day! Welcome to WDC!

*Paw* Initial Impression:
A man living with immense emotional pain, who has seemingly lost everything. His self remorse drags him into a state of depression that is far too deep for him to escape on his own.
A VERY powerful story, that grabs the readers attention. Some areas could benefit by wording that I equally powerful to what is being conveyed.

*Paw* Flow:
A fairly good flow. Suggestions have been shared with you below to help with smoothing it out a bit.

*Paw* What Works:
The deep emotion of the piece, along with sharing with the reader WHY he is feeling so distraught.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here for suggestions offered

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
An excellent piece that merits taking a few moments to edit and polish it up. Heck, even famous writers must edit, sometimes several times! But this piece is worth the effort. With some polishing, it will be extremely smooth of flow and powerful. Thank you for sharing your talent. Welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


A group name sig for WDC Power to use in their reviews



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
110
110
Review of Tsunami  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
It is the day for newbie review raids! Welcome to WDC!

*Paw* Initial Impression:
A very creative piece to be sure! I can see by reading it that much effort went into the plot and descriptions.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow needs some work. I have shared some suggestions below to assist with this, but this is your work, and they are ONLY suggestions. Use what works for you, and leave the rest.

*Paw* What Works:
It is imaginative and a great story idea.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here for suggestions

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for allowing me to read and review your work. With some editing and polishing, you will have a wonderful and easy to read story here. It has the full potential of hooking the reader and keeping the readers interest. Just needs some smoothing out. Welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


A group name sig for WDC Power to use in their reviews



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
111
111
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
It is time for a newbie raid. Tag! *Smile*

*Paw* Initial Impression:
A creative comparison piece. This is well written, and I could almost see where it could easily be crafted into a poetic piece.

*Paw* Flow:
This piece has a good flow and it was easy to follow and understand as I read it.

*Paw* What Works:
I just love the way creativity (or the creator) is effectively and believably compared to a madman. It is well presented and represented throughout.

*Paw* Suggestions:
*Flagr* In the following sentence, the space between the last word and the exclamation point needs to be removed: "They are cultural luminaries !"

*Flagr* I believe two comma's are needed in the following sentence: "We as consumers of art pay money..." One after the first word, "We" and one after "art".

There appears (to me) to be some minimal missing punctuation, as well as an area that I 'think' punctuation was used improperly. But in full disclosure, I have to admit that I am working to improve my punctuation knowledge, and it is not my strong point. I would suggest copying and pasting it into a free online punctuation checker. I just do not want to mislead you.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all a very well written and extremely creative piece! Does this make you a fellow madman? *BigSmile* Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
112
112
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
It's Newbie Power Raid day! You are a newbie, and I located this piece when looking for a newbie to review. Welcome to WDC!

*Paw* Initial Impression:
Reading this, it strikes me as an opinion piece. You work hard to convey your feelings to the reader.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow needs work. I made some suggestions to help you with this in the suggestion area below.

*Paw* What Works:
You put great effort into conveying your thoughts and feelings to the reader on a subject that is important to you.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here for suggestions

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
This piece can be a powerful opinion piece with a little editing and polishing. Try reading it out loud and see how it flows to you as you read it. It is a piece worth the effort of polishing up! Thank you for sharing it. Welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


A group name sig for WDC Power to use in their reviews



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
113
113
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
To welcome you to WDC! I hope you love it here! I know I do.

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A very gracious and kind hearted writing, that explains why etiquette and kindness is practiced by the writer. I must say, this is quite commendable! You are so right, in that there is a lack of kindness among the general population in todays world. It can be found, but it is not commonplace. So this piece is a very inspiring and thoughtful piece, conveying an important message to others. Even in the most simple ways, kindness and courtesy can be a precious gift to the recipient.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
The flow in this piece is fair. But, I want to add that with just a few simple tweaks, it could flow very smoothly and read so much easier. Please see suggestions below.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here for suggestions

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I know the above suggestions sound like a lot, but really it is just basic editing which all great writers must do. Even Stephan King! I truly believe this work is a beautiful sentiment, and with minimal efforts, you can polish it and make it shine like a diamond! Keep up the wonderful work and attitude! Thank you for sharing this inspiring work with me. Welcome to WDC! Let me know if I can be of assistance to you in any way.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
114
114
Review of My Dad  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A welcome review for you. Welcome to WDC

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A very emotional and heartfelt piece that I could really relate to. My heart goes out to you. I have been through this same experience, when I was 10, and in my case the family member lost, died on my eleventh birthday. I could relate very well to the pain and loss you have experienced. (((Big hugs))) to you. I know writing this out had to be much like reliving your experience, so I commend you for doing so. Sometimes the writing out of difficult experiences can help us heal.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
This piece is packed with heartfelt honesty and emotion.

*Paw* Suggestions: To keep this more organized for you, I have created a suggestion dropnote for you.
Suggestion Link

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I think that this is an important writing, and one that truly deserves to be in the public eye. I know once you go through to correct spelling and edit it a bit and polish it up, it will be a really captivating and shining piece of work! Keep up the wonderful work and thank you for sharing!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
115
115
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A review to welcome you to WDC!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
As I read this piece, I get the feeling it is written by one who is in the early stages of developing a writing style and skill. It is a cute short story and I like much of what you did with it.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
The flow is a bit on the shaky side, which can make it a little harder on the reader. Suggestions are provided below for your reference.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
A creative story in which I could tell you tried to be descriptive. I really like the final line a lot! It is powerful in "Showing" what she is feeling at the sight of her night in shining armor. I also like how you portrayed the man as one who had come to her rescue in some way.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here for suggestions

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
This short story has TONS of potential. It is a great idea, and most of what I suggested isn't really hard to implement. With some editing and polishing this will be just beautiful! Don't ever be discouraged or give up. You have a lot of potential! If you have any questions, feel free to email me. Welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
116
116
Review of Haze  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I must commend you on a very well written story, keeping the readers interest and not giving everything away to the reader too quickly. You did a wonderful job of including all of the prompt words into this story, in an integral way. I have no words of wisdom for you on improving this, as I find it to be very well written. Thank you for sharing a most creative piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
117
117
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I just love critters, so naturally, the title appealed to me!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A super cute poem to read, as the farmer was quite creative in finding a way to deal with his unexpected delivery.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
This has a fairly good, flow. There were a couple of areas where I had to read over a line a second time, to try to get it back in a rhythm, but all in all, not bad.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
It is a cute idea, and handed in a quite witty way by the farmer. Your creative ideas were very enjoyable to me, as a reader.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Please know, poetry isn't my strongest point, so There isn't much I can suggest feeling confident it would be correct. What I would suggest is for you to take just a moment to read it aloud to yourself or another. I have found this to be the best ay to identify flow issues in my own writing. Most of this had a great flow, but a couple of paragraphs just seemed to be a bit choppy. Paragraphs that had just a word or two in a sentence, which broke the flow for me as the reader:
He gave the tropical birds to the hens and ducks
As they taught them how to speak with quacks and with clucks (Maybe consider dropping the "As" at the beginning)
He gave the wolf puppies to his Old Sheepdog Bess
She liked them even though they made a big mess!
(Maybe consider although instead of even though, as it may flow smoother with the rest of the paragraph.)

The other thing I noticed is that earlier on you had the second and fourth lines end in rhyming words, but later had lines one and two rhyming at the end, then three and four rhyming. I think consistency in which lines rhyme with each other will help this flow smoother as well as the above suggestions.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Again, I am not the best with poetry, which is why I avoid writing it myself *Laugh* but these were just a couple of things I noticed. I think it is a really enjoyable and creative piece, and with a touch of editing, it will flow well and sparkle with your obvious talent! Thank you for sharing your work.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
118
118
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A welcome review. Welcome to WDC!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A very heavy piece. I can't even imagine waking up to not knowing who I am and later find out and don't want to know who I had been.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
This has a fairly good flow to it. As it continues the flow gets better and better.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
That this person felt so remorseful after finding out what he had done. He didn't try to argue it out. He sat quietly as the trial unfolded, accepting what would become of it.

*Paw* Suggestions:
A bit more description to bring the reader further into the story would be great. For example, giving a more visual description of the part where you talk about it being like groundhog day. Other than that it is good. I am not the best when it comes to punctuation, but did not notice anything in this area.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing your talent. Welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
119
119
Review of Mr. Right  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A welcome to WDC review. Welcome!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A very personal writing, that comes across as being non-fictional.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
This has a good flow for the most part.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
The sheer honesty of the piece.
The very specific requirements, which I have heard is what the universe requires to fulfill your desires appropriately.

*Paw* Suggestions:
You have a few type-o's.
*Paw* In the first and in the last lines of this writing, you spelled "of" fo.
*Paw* In this sentence should is misspelled. "Just figured I shoudl be with this man..."
*Paw* A misspelling in this area:"...or waltzes out of the seen to make room for my next concoction." (Should be scene)

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing a very personal piece. With a couple of corrections, this will read much better! Welcome to WDC. I wish you all the best in manifesting your perfect Mr. Right.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
120
120
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
To give you a warm welcome to WDC and in answer to your request for a review.

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A superb story line, that I found to be a pleasure to read. It captivated my attention from beginning to end. Bravo!

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
It has a fairly good flow and great readability. There are some issues that may hamper the flow a little, but I will touch on these shortly.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
An excellent and creative storyline which, as I mention kept my attention throughout. I really thought you threw in some rather well crafted twists to the plot, which added to the ability of the piece to be very entertaining. You used a variety of word choices that kept it lively as well.


*Paw* Suggestions:
I have created a drop note below, to better organize my suggestions to you.
Suggestions Link

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Again, all in all I think you have an excellent story in the makings here, and it will shine like a diamond, once you polish it up a little. I look forward to reading future chapters! Keep up the great work, and I thank you for allowing me to enjoy your work and give some feedback.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
121
121
Review of Growing pains.  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A newbie welcome review for you!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A conversational piece that shares a substantial message about loving oneself. (Enough to not settle for less than one deserves.) An important topic, I believe.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
Well, this could have a very good flow and very good readability, except for a few things which I will address under the suggestion area.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
The entire message works great! Especially in the way you delivered it. I loved the chosen names of Hope and Chance, it was perfect for this story.

*Paw* Suggestions:
I have created a dropnote for you to make suggestions easier to read.

Suggestion Link

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A little dusting and cleaning up and this will be a much easier piece for the reader to enjoy. The story itself is awesome, just consider
some editing and it will shine!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
122
122
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I love nature. Canyons, rivers, mountains, oceans, you name it. Your title appealed to me.

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A Magical time for this family, to enjoy and learn to appreciate nature and all of her wonders.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
A nice flow for the most part. A couple of small things were noted by me, that could improve the readability and flow. I will address these under the suggestions area in a few moments.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
I really like how you relate to the reader the way that nature, and her many creations "speak' to you. This is in contrast to how being in the same place affects the grand children. I believe it is a great example of how we mature as we age. I also believe this shares a lovely message about what is really an influencing factor of contentment.

*Paw* Suggestions:
The suggestions I have for you have been arranged in a dropdown menu for you, to make it easier to follow.
Suggestions for you

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing this. I believe that once you go back and make these few edits, and polish it up, it will be a very smooth read. I too, enjoy time spent in nature and thinking about it all at a level that goes deeper than 'surface observations'. I do hope that in some way, you may have found my review to be beneficial to you. Happy New Year to you and yours!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
123
123
Review of The Hospital Room  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I found this story on the review request page, then also noticed you are new to WDC, so I thought I'd give you a welcome review.

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This story broaches an important and life altering (or life taking) subject. This is a topic people need to be more fully aware of from many viewpoints.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
The flow was fairly good, however, it could use a bit of smoothing out in some areas. You did get your story across to the reader, in an understandable way, but a smoother flow could help it read better and have more impact on the reader. Just a bit of editing and polishing will make it read wonderfully.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
I appreciate how this topic was presented in the point of view of the afflicted character. It was also impressive that Anna gathered the courage to do the right thing in telling her friends, which would be very difficult to do. It is very commendable that she never gave up on trying to contact her friends, even once they turned their backs on her, and continued to plead with them to be tested. Her true love for her friends did shine through.

*Paw* Suggestions:
In an effort to keep this easy to follow, I created a drop down list for you here, t address some suggestions I would like to share with you.
Suggestion Link

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A really good story that shares how one going through this situation would feel. Her incredible unselfishness as she strives to convince her friends to be tested before it is too late for them to be treated, is very touching. It is a shame that they abandoned her when she needed them more than ever, but thankfully they did come around to her before it was too late for her to know this.

I wish you the best of luck in the contest this was written for. Again, welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
124
124
Review of My Wife's Escape  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
That catchy description under the title!

*Paw* Initial Impression:
AWESOME!!!!!! I love this piece. It is so witty and humorous!

*Paw* Flow:
It flows perfectly! Nice, smooth, easy and fun read!

*Paw* What Works:
Everything, but especially the final paragraph! I guess as they say, whats good for the goose is good for the gander!

*Paw* Suggestions:
Keep on writing and writing and writing. I love your humorous style, don't let anyone or anything change it. Sorry, but there just isn't a single thing I'd suggest you change on this piece.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I have much enjoyed reading your work, and have become a fan of it! Thank you for sharing such a creative mind with us!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
125
125
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.



*Paw* Initial Impression:
an unfortunate but intended error in communication results in the injury and death of many innocents, leaving those involved in the attack feeling remorseful. *Sad*

*Paw* Flow:
A nice flow and fairly smooth read. easy to follow and comprehend what is taking place.

*Paw* What Works:
The visuals of the huts burning quickly, and the innocence of those attacked.

*Paw* Suggestions:
This line is missing a word I do believe - I saluted and went to gather some of the men to carry out these orders.
*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A well written piece, that I enjoyed reading. I am curios to read the other version. Thank you for sharing your work!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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