|Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.
General Comments & Reader Reaction: I found this an interesting tale of a vampire.
Characters:Rystyk is a well developed character. His interactions with other people moves the story right along.
Setting & Imagery: good work here to give the story enough detail that it comes to life.
Emotion, Mood & Atmosphere: there is a dark mood here that gives the reader the creeps.
Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.
Writing Style: easy to read style.
Overall Impression & Conclusion: as the first chapter of a longer story, this captures the reader's attention, so they will continue to read.
Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼