Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful, and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:I like the title. When I first read it I was reminded of my garage, attic, and basement. Full of "stuff" I haven't even seen for longer than I remember. The opening line is a good way to begin your poem.

Sight Devices:Although your poem lacks "most" of the poetic devices, I like the denotation you used. It painted a picture for the reader, and helped build toward the climax.

Sound Devices:I thought the flow was good.

Sense Devices:I liked the voice in this one. The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate, as is the sentence structure.

Closure:I love the closing. A great way to end the poem. It isn't artificial or overwritten.

Placement On Page:The line breaks seem right. Punctuation worked well with this poem.

General Observations:I thought it could be developed a little more. I would rather see a poem show (not say things directly) instead of telling. The last stanza, I thought did this. My favorite line was "for the hope of a day I may be in want."

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.

Quihadi

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:Great title. The first lines establish he tone. Although not original, I thought it worked well with the rest of the poem.

Sight Devices:There are enough specific image details. My favorite was "the rustling of wings I think."

Sound Devices:I had no problem with the flow.

Sense Devices:I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate. The sentence structure is good.

Closure:The last lines seem right for ending the poem. Not artificial or overwritten.

Placement On Page:I did have a problem with some of the line breaks and punctuation. It may have hurt the rhythm, but the flow is fine.

General Observations:After reading and re-reading your poem, I'll make a suggestion. I love the content. I think it would make a great prose poem. This is only my honest opinion. So take it for what it's worth.

Disclaimer:Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful, and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:I liked the the emphasis on "The Gift" in the title. It adds to your poem, and makes the title appropriate. The opening line establishes an appropriate tone and hints as to what the poem is about.

Sight Devices:There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:I had no problem with the flow.

Sense Devices:The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate.

Closure:I loved the strong finish.

Placement On Page:The line breaks seem right. I had a problem with the sentence structure. The last four couplets are one sentence, creating the overuse of commas. It also creates words not needed, and takes away from the poem.

General Observations:I always enjoy your work, by the way. I also think the graphics add to the poem.

Thank you for entering the contest, and allowing me to review your work.

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Subject:When a poem is dealing with one of the "big" subjects, it needs to show a new perspective. Making this one personal added to the meaning.

Opening:The title is appropriate. The picture and title work well together. The first line draws attention and establishes the tone.

Sight Devices:There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:I had no problem with the scansion of rhythm and flow. The alliteration in the final stanza I thought was good.

Sense Devices:The diction is consistent. The syntax is appropriate. The sentence structure is good. I found no odd word choices.

Closure:The closing lines expand on the title. It's a good way to end the poem.

Placement On Page:The line breaks seem right. I doubt your poem could be tightened in any way.

General Observations:One thing that bothered me is I thought areas could be developed more. I also think it would be a stronger opening if you eliminated the first line. But that's just one person's opinion.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Subject:A good nurse is too often taken for granite. Something we all need to be reminded of.

Opening:The title is both appropriate and adds to your poem.

Sight Devices:There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:I had no problem with the rhythm and flow.

Sense Devices:The syntax and sentence structure is appropriate. The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices.

Closure:I thought the closing seemed right for ending the poem. Not artificial or overwritten.

Placement On Page:I'm a fan of form poetry. Your poem meets the requirements of a Minute Poem. The line breaks and enjambments helped with the rhythm.

General Observations:The only suggestion I have (and it may be only taste) is in the second stanza - third line. I would use a dash instead of a comma. It puts more emphasis on what follows. But it's fine as is. This is a very well written "Minute Poem," and I have no other suggestions - except keep writing.

Thank you for entering the contest, and allowing me to review your work.

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:The title is appropriate and adds to the poem. The first stanza shows where the power is and establishes the tone.

Sight Devices:There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:I had no problem with the scansion of flow or rhythm.

Sense Devices:I liked the recognition of prayer warriors. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate. The diction is consistent. The sentence structure is good.

Closure:I like the closing lines. They are a strong finish to a good poem.

Placement On Page:The line breaks seem right. My suggestion on the first line is to use a dash instead of a comma after "there." It flows easier, puts emphasis on what follows, and helps commas from being over used.

General Observations:I find a lot of truth in your poem. It's well written, and something we need to be reminded of. Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work. Keep writing them.

Quihadi

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:The title is both appropriate and adds to the poem. You really drew my curiosity after reading the first line, and I wasn't disappointed.

Sight Devices:I was impressed with the specific image details.

Sound Devices:The rhyming couplets worked well for you. I had no problem with the rhythm or flow.

Sense Devices:I liked the questions and the point of view. The diction is consistent. The syntax is appropriate. I found no odd word choices. The sentence structure is good. The totality of tone is consistent.

Closure:The closing couplet is perfect for ending the poem. The joy that only can come from a personal relationship with the Savior.

Placement On Page:The line breaks seem right. I see no punctuation that can be stripped away.

General Observations:This poem can not be tightened more. I see no rhetoric, generality or abstract words. The first time I read the poem through, I said "wow" - love this one. However, the inconsistent caps in the second lines and one typo (savior to Savior) keeps it from getting a 5.0 rating. Having said that, don't change anything else - you have a keeper. Thank you for entering the contest, and allowing me to review your work.

Quihadi

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:The title is appropriate. The opening line establishes the tone, however, I would replace the comma and end the sentence.

Sight Devices:There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:I had a little problem with the scansion of flow and rhythm when reading it out loud.

Sense Devices:The point of view is good. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate.

Closure:The last line seems right for ending the poem. I liked the dash in the previous line. It puts an emphasis on what follows.

Placement On Page:I liked the way each stanza went back to the topic. It's my belief that without a rhyme scheme and/or meter, punctuation becomes even more important to guide the reader. A good test is reading it out loud. Poetry is meant to be read out loud. The line breaks seem right.

General Observations:I find two things that hurt the flow of your poem. Unneeded words and the overuse of commas. Also, the poet needs to write in such a way that the reader is the one who draws the conclusion - the touch of God - without being told. Having said that, I enjoyed your poem - I have experienced His touch many times. Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work. God bless and keep writing.

Quihadi

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening: The title is appropriate. I also liked the use of the sub-titles, and thought they added to your poem.

Sight Devices:There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:I thought the rhythm and flow were both good. Using punctuation correctly (without meter or a rhyme scheme) added to your poem.

Sense Devices:The point of view is good. The diction consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax and sentence structure is appropriate.

Closure:The last stanza was an excellent way to end the poem.

Placement On Page:The line breaks seem right. I see no punctuation that needs stripped away. I think any tightening would hurt the poem.

General Observations:The one thing that bothered me, is the sections having to do with the prompt. They were "general" or "telling" rather than showing. Having said that, it is very well written.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:The title is appropriate. The first lines establish an appropriate tone.

Sight Devices:A big part of what sets poetry apart from other forms of writing is that it never says anything directly. The best poems make us see things in a different way using figures of speech. Imagery is one of eighteen devices I am trying to master. My favorite in your poem is the third stanza.

Sound Devices:I had no problem with the scansion of rhythm and flow.

Sense Devices:The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices.

Closure:I liked the challenge in the closing lines. A good way to end the poem.

Placement On Page:The line breaks seem right. I thought the enjambments in the last stanza were too much. I'm one for stripping words not needed. Suggestion: Use a semicolon after "you" and omit one "for" - last stanza second line. "for me and you;"

General Observations:I thought this was well written. I also think it could be developed a ittle more.

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

I apologize for the delay. I've had to stay at hospitals. Life gets in the way sometimes.

Subject: I like the perspective you chose.

Opening: The title is appropriate. I think a dash separating the two phrases would work here. The first couplet establishes the tone.

Sight Devices: There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices: The repetition of Jehovah-Shammah worked well with the couplets. It helped keep the tone consistent and added to your poem.

Sense Devices: The point of view is good, as is the syntax and sentence structure. I had a little problem with "from" in several stanzas. I had to read it several times out loud to get the meaning.

Closure: With couplets, I like to see the poem go full circle. It gives it a stronger finish. Repeating the first couplet or adding one similar at the end?

Placement On Page: The line breaks seem right. Lack of punctuation (in my opinion) helps this poem.

General Observations: I would replace "from" with "into" but it may not be the intended meaning you are looking for.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work. Because of the delay, I am giving everyone 1,000 GP's with the review.

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.


Subject: This poem is both personal, and rises above the individual to become more widely relevant.

Opening: The title is appropriate. However, I've learned in my writing that the title should add to the poem, and not be a direct quote.

Sight Devices: I like the image details.

Sound Devices: I did have a problem with the flow. Reading it out loud especially. Without meter or a rhyme scheme, punctuation becomes even more important to guide the reader.

Sense Devices: The point of view is good. The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate. I think the sentence structure - the overuse of commas - hurts your poem. My suggestion is to break it up using dashes, ellipses, semi-colons and periods(sentences). Poetry is meant to be read out loud.

Closure: The closing takes the poem full circle.

Placement On Page: The line breaks seem right.

General Observations: I'm one for stripping away any words not needed. I think your poem would be more effective if it was tightened. Ex: "I will not give up; I will not give in," ... I will not give up or give in. Having said that, I enjoyed your perspective. With a few adjustments I think you have a keeper.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.

Quihadi

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.


Subject: I love this perspective. A personal letter sent to everyone. It's easy to forget poetry is an art. Not a diary or journalism.

Opening: The title is both appropriate and adds to the poem. I read the opening stanza twice before I went on. It was the simple "Hello" that did it.

Sight Devices: In one way, the images do not seem specific. But reading it from God's point of view gives a different picture - specific.

Sound Devices: I had no problem with the scansion of flow and rhythm.

Sense Devices: The point of view is very good. The sentence structure is good. As is the syntax. The totality of tone is excellent.

Closure: The closing made me smile. Perfect for the poem.

Placement On Page: The line breaks seem right. I appreciate the punctuation, and see no errors. The enjambments are enjambments.

General Observations: I don't think the poem can be tightened in any way. The only change I would make is in word choice. I would change "made" to "created." But that's also debatable. I had to rate it 5.0 for the contest.

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.


Subject: The perspective of Eve feeling guilt is an interesting one.

Opening: The title is appropriate. The first line establishes the tone.

Sight Devices: There are enough sight devises.

Sound Devices: I had no problem with the scansion of flow.

Sense Devices: The point of view is good. I found no odd word choices. The syntax and sentence structure are appropriate. As is the totality of tone.

Closure: I liked the strong finish. I thought opening and closing with a single line helped with the emphasis.

Placement On Page: I was glad to see punctuation to guide the reader. It's needed more when there is no meter or a rhyme scheme. The line breaks seem right.

General Observations: The only suggestion I have is not to leave out certain adjectives (like an or the). Example: "an" act, "the" serpent. I'm one for stripping words not needed, unless it makes the phrase sound choppy.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.