Disclaimer:
I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Where poem was read:
I read your poem on the Request Reviews page.

Subject:
Your poem is personal, but rises above the individual and becomes more widely relevant.

Opening:
The title seems appropriate, however, it does not add anything different and steals the thunder from the closing.

Sight Devices:
I thought a simile would work well in the opening line - "like the setting sun..." There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:
The rhyme scheme allowed the poem to work well without punctuation. I had no problem with the scansion of flow and rhythm.

Sense Devices:
The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices. The totality of tone is consistent.

Closure:
The last lines seem right for closing the poem. They weren't artificial or overwritten. Also, it was a strong finish.

Placement On Page:
The line breaks seem right. The line placements are fine. Couplets require metered lines, so the use of two line stanzas may confuse things.

General Observations:
Suggestions: Try using more active verbs. Ex: walking, feeling (omitting "until i"), seeing, replace "see" with "do" so it doesn't sound redundant. This is only a suggestion, but I thought it worked well when I did it. Also it gives you some internal rhymes.

Thank you for allowing me to review your work.

Quihadi

Disclaimer:
I updated my template. I like using a template in contests so everyone is judged the same way. Remember, I'm only an author like you, so only use what is helpful.

First Impressions, subject, and opening of the poem:
I liked the perspective you used. The title is both appropriate and adds to the poem.The opening lines establish an appropriate tone.

Poetry Devices - sight, sound, and sense:
There were enough specific image details. I have no problem with the scansion of flow and rhythm. The diction is consistent. The I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate. The totality of tone is consistent.

Closure of the poem and placement on the page:
The last lines were a perfect way to end the poem. Not artificial or overwritten. The line breaks seem right. I was happy to see you didn't overuse commas. I see no punctuation that needs to be stripped away.

Suggestions and general observations:

Disclaimer:
I updated my template. I like using a template in contests so everyone is judged the same way. Remember, I'm only an author like you, so only use what is helpful.

First Impressions, subject, and opening of the poem:
My first impression was wondering what the perspective would be from a donkey. I doubt you could have used a better picture - perfect. Sympathy from a donkey -a great opening line that draws curiousity.

Poetry Divices - sight, sound, and sense:
This form is much harder to write than it looks. I find no sections weak in visable images. I found no problem with the scansion of rhythm and flow. The personification of the donkey was very well done. The diction consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate. The totality of tone is consistent.

Closure of the poem and placement on the page:
The closure was a great way to end the poem. Not overwritten or artificial. The line breaks seem right. The second and fifth lines need an end stop. However, it isn't hurting your poem. For the contest, if I don't think it is hurting your poem, I only mention it.

Suggestions and general observations:

Disclaimer:
I updated my template. I like using a template in contests so everyone is judged the same way. Remember, I'm only an author like you, so only use what is helpful.

First Impressions, subject, and opening of the poem:
A new perspective is needed when writing about the big subjects. From 1 - 5 I'll give you a 6 with the perspective. Love it. The title is both appropriate and adds to your poem. The first line draws the reader into the poem.

Poetry Divices - sight, sound, and sense:There are enough specific image details. Familar ones take on a new look through the innkeeper's wife's eyes. I had no problem with the scansion of rhythm and flow. The combination of meter and rhyme worked well. The diction is consistent. The syntax appropriate.

Closure of the poem and placement on the page:
I loved the strong finish. It isn't overwritten or artificial. The line breaks seem right. The only problem I have is the overuse of commas. We get that off of the classic writers. For the contests, if it isn't hurting your poem I only mention it. Without meter and rhyme it would hurt your poem.

Suggestions and general observations:

Disclaimer:
I updated my template. I like using a template in contests so everyone is judged the same way. Remember, I'm only an author like you, so only use what is helpful.

First Impressions, subject, and opening of the poem:
When I read the title, I was distracted (life got in the way), and couldn't wait until I finished reading it, and I wasn't disappointed. A subject that has been written about a lot needs a different perspective. Your poem gives that. The title is both appropriate and adds to the poem. The first line immediately shows personification and draws the reader in.

Poetry Divices - sight, sound, and sense:
There were enough specific image details. I felt like I was sitting on the star watching. I had no problem with the scansion of rhythm and flow. The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate. It's refreshng not to see all commas.

Closure of the poem and placement on the page:
The closing seems like a good way to end the poem. Not overwrittwn or artificial. The line breaks seem right. The first enjambment I thought you needed an end stop, but re-reading it a few times changed my mind.

Suggestions and general observations:

Disclaimer:
I updated my template. I like using a template in contests so everyone is judged the same way. Remember, I'm only an author like you, so only use what is helpful.

First Impressions, subject, and opening of the poem:
I read this when you posted it, and it got me excited for Christmas. The title is appropriate and goes well with the opening line.

Poetry Divices - sight, sound, and sense:
There are enough specific image details. I had no problem with the scansion of flow. The diction is consistent. The syntax appropriate. The totality of tone is consistent. It brought out the expectation and excitement, getting the reader involved.

Closure of the poem and placement on the page:
The closure was a good way to end the poem. Not overwritten or artificial.
I did have a problem with the fifth stanza. Question marks are needed (last four lines). "But," is not needed and eliminates the comma in the next line after "or." I suggest a question mark after LORD - end stop - and one at the end of the stanza.

Suggestions and general observations:

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:
The title is appropriate. I love the opening line. It creates curiosity and draws the reader into reading more. I like the perspective on something that's been written about a lot.

Sight Devices:
There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:
I had no problem with the scansion of flow.

Sense Devices:
The diction is consistent. The syntax is appropriate. I find no odd word choices. The totality of tone is consistent.

Closure:
The closing lines seemed right for ending the poem. Not artificial or overwitten. I do have a suggestion for the last line. Use a dash instead of a comma and it puts emphasis on what follows.

Placement On Page:
The line breaks seem right. I doubt you could tighten it without hurting your poem.

General Observations:
One thing that bothered me was it leaves little for the reader to discover for him/herself. This is done by using poetry devices to do more showing than telling. Having said that, I really loved it. It's a keeper.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.

Quihadi

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:
The title is appropriate and hints to what the poem is about. I love the opening line. The question draws the reader in makes it personal. When subjects that have been written about a lot,like November's prompt,there is a need for a different perspective. Your dialog filled that need.

Sight Devices:
There are enough specific image details. I thought using the dialog and questions worked very well.

Sound Devices:
I had no problem with the scansion of rhythm and flow. Using punctuation when there is no rhyme scheme or meter is needed to guide the reader.

Sense Devices:
The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate. The sentence structure is good. I love the totality of tone in your poem. I thought going back and forth (talking to both the Lord and another audience) hurt your poem. The reader has nothing to discover for him/herself. I suggest you say the same thing, but continue with the dialog.

Closure:
The last stanza seems right for ending the poem. Not artificial or overwritten.

Placement On Page:
Typo - end of third stanza - it's one of the things I do too often. Period instead of question mark. Suggestion - using a dash in the last line instead of a semicolon will put an emphasis on what follows.

General Observations:
I really enjoyed your poem. It's a keeper.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:
The title is appropriate and adds to the poem. I like the perspective and curiosity the opening line creates.

Sight Devices:
The simile "like a thief" worked well in the opening.

Sound Devices:
I had no problem with the scansion of flow.

Sense Devices:
I thought both the voice and point of view were very good. The diction is consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax is appropriate.

Closure:
I like closing with a question (question mark). The bold print gives it the exclamation point.

Placement On Page:
I didn't think the "and"(s) were needed. The line breaks seem right.

General Observations:
I loved the fourth stanza. As great as it will be for the Bride, it will be awful for those left behind.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.

Quihadi

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:
The title seems appropriate and adds to the poem. The opening line is appropriate in establishing the tone. The totality of tone will depend on the devices used and how they are used throughout the poem.

Sight Devices:
I also thought the metaphors and similes were used well. There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:
I did have a problem in places with the flow. I find using double adjectives hurt it. The rhyme scheme worked well until the last stanza.

Sense Devices:
The line breaks seem right. The point of view is good. The diction consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax appropriate. I liked the totality of tone. I think He needs to set us all down at times to get our attention. At least He does me.

Closure:
I loved the closing. The perfect way to end the poem.

Placement On Page:
I thought not using punctuation hurt your poem. I thought it was needed to guide the reader, especially when read out loud. I'm one for stripping away anything not needed. It may be a typo, but the third stanza - third line is an example.

General Observations:
They say a poem is never finished - just abandoned. I hope you keep writing and re-visiting written poems. I'm finding it helpful with mine.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.

Quihadi

Disclaimer: I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Opening:
The title seems appropriate and hints as to what the poem is about. I like the tone established in the first line, and continued throughout.

Sight Devices:
The specific image details are between the author and his God. Although it is personal, it rises above the individual and becomes more widely relevant.

Sound Devices:
Because of the way it's written and the flow, I kept thinking this would make a good thin poem (one to three words per line). It's hard to punctuate or not punctuate without enjambments (no end stops on a line).

Sense Devices:
I found no odd word choices. The totality of tone is good.

Closure:
I loved the closing line. Strong finish. Not over written or artificial.

Placement On Page:
I think you would have a stronger poem if you used a different form. Line placements could eliminate the overuse of commas.
EX:
Raise me up
embrace me
love me
as only You can
Dashes and ellipses can also be used at times.

General Observations:
I really like this poem. I think only the mechanics need changed.

Thank you for entering the contest and allowing me to review your work.
Quihadi

Disclaimer:
I'm only an author like you. Hopefully, you will take only what is helpful and send the rest into cyberspace.

Subject:
I had a hard time connecting your poem with the prompt, but since it's not the only one, I'll assume it's just me.

Opening:
I love the pic and caption. They do enhance the opening and go good with the title. The opening line draws curiosity.

Sight Devices:
There are enough specific image details.

Sound Devices:
I had no problem with the flow.

Sense Devices:
The voice and point of view are good. The diction consistent. I found no odd word choices. The syntax appropriate. The totality of tone is good.

Closure:
I like the closing. A good way to end the poem.

Placement On Page:
The line breaks seem right. I don't think your poem could be tightened.

General Observations:
I thought your poem could have been developed more. Writing great poetry is writing about ordinary things in a way it's never been said before.

Thank you for entering the contest, and allowing me to review your work.

Quihadi