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2,834 Public Reviews Given
3,505 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
True algorithm ia in response from the reviewed. Honed craft over 17 years. I see the good, with an eye to potential. Will never be/play authority of someone else’s words. That’s left to the master of the work. The artist has the vision; I just react/review, illuminate a fuller perspective to overcome challenges faced with those words. I see responses my reviews as affirming. *has references*
 
To see how I review, my feedback is public. Reviews can be set up through email. This page is limiting. *Smile* I accept review credits if I deserve rank. I accept merit badges as recognition, to be earned not bought…my opinion. I buy to support friends to maintain my shadowed equivalency, not pad. I have low vision, ADHD. it’s tripped me up. I dust off, get back in the game.
I'm good at...
Poetry, psychoanalysis. Ideas and notions on publishing process. I encourage writers with my reviews, look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I continue to correspond those who approach, when more to offer. I see what drives, use experience and the overarching mind, connect where each individual’s art derives. Hope to opine where it could take them with their craft. Like to believe, sometimes, before the writer knows themself.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, epiphany, emotional, drama, human interest, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, speculative. Not cookie cutter fantasy realms or choose your adventure. Action/adventure. Unique, surprise.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay/opinion/blog
I will not review...
I’m happy receive an email to discuss first. I set this to receive 9k. WDC gets the rest. No page here I know of to collectively or categorically see, compare reviewers for hire. That might be a worthy tool.
Public Reviews
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801
Review of Guarantee  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A poem that reveals our pessimistic view of an all or nothing society that calls on unity rather than divisiveness to make the world a better place. Your poem for being so dark has an easy flowing read that culminates in a message for those who need to step up. It reminds me of my children who say 'I'm not doing it, if they're not doing it.'

The world is divided by varied interests and distractions. It takes near calamity to get anyone to notice for a day, an hour or a even minute.

I really appreciate the effort put into this poem, the thought. It's too bad that it feels defeated before we get rolling. The world's problems so overwhelming, it feels like it's the prophesized end of days, at times. And with more nations building nuclear technology...

Yeah, let's just stop there. Thought provoking poem,

B


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802
802
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was fun. My reply to the prompt:

Once upon a time there an underpaid, unvalued man fired from his job of eight years. Finally free, he sought after his inspiration. He Googled and found a writing community. He created an account and started writing. Not long after, people he didn't even know were suddenly there with encouragement, praising his writing.

Everyday, his inspiration grew. He felt he found a home. He wondered if God had directed him to this website to find himself and realize his true ideal of traditional publication. He penned verses of glowing words for adoring reviewers, who kept heaping praises. He blossomed, envisioned his words of love for these kind people.

One day, someone gifted him an upgraded account. He was hooked, trying to write for contests, support auctions, played games and chatted in scroll where he met many new writers. A mentor helped him become a Rising Star. He was on his way. But now other writers needed help, needed him to read and give feedback to what they wrote. He did his best to be honest and helpful. He reviewed with earnest -- joined a reviewing group. They had contests to further spur him on.

Because of that, he became one of the site's top credited reviewers. The more he reviewed, the better his ability to process words, making him a better writer. He began to realize he could earn gift points to pay for his membership. He started to get lazy, sat in scroll and picked off those games for gift points like there was no tomorrow. Someone got mad at him. One of the first people to praise him. He didn't know about etiquette in this writing community. It made him sad when his items were seldom reviewed and the praises diminished.

Until finally, he was estranged from many cheery, supportive people. Rising Stars and the Circle of Sisters still supported and urged him on through a dark period. He wrote about rejection, the longing for acceptance, about being misunderstood, about being among people who referred to themselves as angels, but did not administer forgiveness. He changed his name.

After years of life experiences and reflection, and love of family, the dark cloud lifted. God filled him with joy, a container from which he could share love. He chose a higher love, without expectation. Negativity did not unnerve him. It strengthened his belief in sharing a message of love. He would show them in poem's like "Efflorescence Song." He was a simple man who loved to commune in and write about nature. He would be a beacon to new writers, as long as the writing community would have him. His writing still reaches for higher plateaus, seeking eternal peace within.


I'd spend more time making this better, but it's a bit long as is. Thanks for this opportunity to share.

Brian

STATIC
Efflorescence Song  (E)
A higher love exists when you're alone amid nature.
#2085912 by Brian is visiting family

"Invalid Item" 


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803
803
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked the sound of your prose. It seems very natural, reflective and not forced. I have a few ideas for you, as you are developing this.

I need a name. We as readers like me identify with is someone/something that has some moniker attached. Also, briefly describe what she looks like, habits, mannerisms. What we did get was her love of the night...made me feel like she enjoyed either the activity around her or the ability seek quiet to be alone.

In first line, you could take off 'of the day' to be more concise. Also, to transition to that beach and show you moved the scene from the city, you could change "she sat on a beach" to "she had ventured to sit on a beach." It's the little things you do to keep the reader fixed to the text rather than stopping to ponder.

I wish you success with your story,

Brian


This is an unaffiliated *Star* Rising Stars *Star* review...now looking for talented newbies!! Keep writing and reviewing. Keep our community strong. *BigSmile*


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804
Review of No More Fear  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear So Lite ,

I read your poem "No More Fear"  and connected with it on an emotional level as a parent. It is difficult watching the awkwardness of our children growing up in those middle years. I could appreciate the relief as a parent knowing the boy is becoming more confident and the parent becoming more at ease.

So supportive and caring but in a way I'm familiar with...detached. It feels like you can only observe at times. Most of their life spent away from home or away in one's room. The line "Mother no longer draws near" sounds out of place, even though it has the right intent. You do want to show the mother is near while not needing to offer signs of support or sympathy anymore.

Otherwise, I appreciated what you shared and thank you as a parent who has gone through/is going through maturation with two offspring who each need unique parenting.

All the best,

Brian


Another unaffiliated *Star* Rising Stars *Star* review. Now looking for writers and reviewers to keep our community strong!


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805
Review of Child's Spring  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm reviewing you because I am a member of *Star* Rising Stars *Star*, mentored by my friend GabriellaR45 who has sent me on a quest for eye-opening, new talent on this great website, Writing.com. I hope my review will help shed a light on much needed "newbies" like you to help keep this community of authors strong. Let's begin:

Dear M.J. Swayer :

Hello, I am intrigued by your poetic imagery and have been staring at this poem "Child's Spring"  several times over the past few days, wanting to give comment. I fully appreciated the imagery and the use of language with eyes on the children experiencing nature. I wanted to fully soak up this poem so that I could properly comment, to show my understanding of your excellent use of words.

Part of my struggle sometimes reviewing writers is discerning their intent with what they are describing; poetry has unique complexities and meaning that we are to discover...even in the simplest terms. I connected with the description of the children enjoying the ladybug and it's antics within the backdrop you've related. And, by association, got a smile becoming aware of the parent watching/recreating the unfolding scene.

I enjoyed the use of color and description to paint the scene, like an artist. And I would guess that you have artistic talents to go with your writing ability. I had trouble getting my vision calibrated with the opening verse. I'm assuming a flower loses a pedal onto the newborn grass, and I couldn't quite figure out what "it's black-eyed beauty now a shadow…" meant. I was thinking something like a dead plant from the previous year, but assumed I was wrong. A shadow reference, something with eyes, maybe the bug?

I know I don't have to struggle with that open, because the description in the entire poem is light and airy -- has a little ladybug that the children watch with glee. So the rest of the poem was so smooth and easy for me and something I could fully enjoy. Such visual moments like "Six-legged red shell crawls up on it…" and describing its flight (so beautifully portrayed)..."Petal and rider wafted away/A boat and it's sailor…The gliding vessel shipwrecked… Polka-dotted traveler tumbles softly…"

So apt in seeing in my mind. This was all right and it gives a reader sensation to connect with happiness.

Blissful, sweet harmony in your writing, this poem crafted; no doubt with joy. It was a pleasure and I hope I did some justice in standing back to look at and review your great offering. Sorry for the flowery language, but I am a fan of nature and fondly proud of my memories of sharing such distraction with my now growing children. Remiscent nostalgia as I reflect on summers past.

Great poem!

Brian



How was that, Gabs?


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806
806
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
That moment at the end of chapter one with realizing she could never love this guy like Ben before saying yes to his marriage proposal was a bit devastating. My heart sank. Your story has potential as a romance novel. Though the scene was cliche, and for good purpose, perfectly illustrates how trying to have that picturesque, perfect moment to propose cannot capture what true love is.

So, we're teased, tempted with the what happened to Ben. Is he dead? Tragic, because he will be in the middle of that union and Mike can't compete. It could tear their marriage apart. When we settle, we are being dishonest with our partner. So, I can see a lot of inner turmoil and drama unfolding because of these unspoken feelings that still remain for another.

Showing in writing will be the test. Little actions, events will make it apparent that she loved/loves another more. Probably similar to the news my wife gave me when our first child was born, "You know, this means I love someone more than you now." Ouch! We'll blame epidural for that candid moment.

Good to have reviewed your writing. Much success,

B


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807
807
Review of Darkness  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I read this through twice and the impression I was getting by end is of a soldier of some kind who has no control over destiny, must do what is required of these demons possessing the mind, rather than live by one's ethos.

But, that doesn't add up. I think someone is a slave to something darker and more sinister, maybe in their DNA, that compels their demonic ways.

Psychologically sound narrative with some good phrasing, expressions to make points. Not a lot of poetic devices employed in this monologue.

B


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808
808
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a forboding open to this first person narrative. The use of the sea apple and how it kills before it dies was an interesting relation to this character.

She thinks she's old at fifty, thinks she has no worth. Not building up a very likable person for a reader to follow. She has to have a redeeming quality to keep us hoping for her. But, by the same token we like self-destruction like this. What will she do when she needs to turn herself inside out?

I would say an intriguing start for this preface.

B


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809
809
Review of Struggles  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think your poem "Struggles"  shows some versatility within its structure with concrete writing and style. You've depicted a scene with strong wintry blasts with some attempts at personification of trees and the few remaining leaves, trying to imagine the little truants with minds awondering about when Spring will come. It's naïveté and innocent. And there's a scene with the woman bearing the brunt of this cold affront and how the narrator imagines she is clutching memories, indignant. Very forceful, good imagination. Common expressions and word choices could improve with some tighter sentence structure.

It was good work,

B


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810
810
Review of Drink It Away  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is a tragic poem about how addiction can manifest when one tries to douse their troubles away. A simple, melancholy poem about the downward spiral of pain and regret.

Your writing style was simple and rhymed well with clear thoughts and actions. One remedy would be to tighten up the last line that has too many syllables to rhyme with its twin.

Maybe:

"But who should arrive? But Pain and Strife
Then I remember I'm drinking away life."

Still not perfect, but another way to end. I hope it's not actual cancer, but an expression, if this is based on reality.

It's the stuff of country music, a poem of doom and despair, poor agony...

B


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Review of Untitled  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Got a strange revelation for a Patty Loveless song when I read this very well expressed poem about not getting a chance to say a proper goodbye to a childhood friend.

This reminds me how impatient and insensitive parents can be to a maturing child's needs. That image of two faces separated by glass like it's the Berlin Wall nearly caused me to shed a tear, thinking of the country singer's song, "How can I help you say goodbye..." Was her name Jamie? 😢

That "carrying the wall with us" was dynamite. That family carries that glass through life. Children being cut off emotionally like that... I shudder, think of my childhood. This was a poem with IMPACT and POWERFUL expression.

Thanks for giving me goosebumps,

Brian

WOW!!


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812
Review of Waiting...  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This poem was simple and heartfelt for one that lost out on love, but someone has been waiting. But, look out, I saw a 'maybe'?

It is a short poem with tightly drawn lines and rhyme. I'm reminded of a Journey song where Steve Perry reminds her "if he ever hurts you, true love won't desert you." That means he'll step up. But, this girl in your poem only promises, "...here I am/maybe to stay." Steve's pitching stronger stuff.

"I know your sorrow, I feel your pain..." and another maybe pops up. I know this is cliche stuff, but the psychology underscores what lies in wait.

Fun poem to interpret,

B


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813
813
Review of Impressions  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
There are some descriptive word choices with symbolism for this published poem, Impressions.

My impressions are this is poetry akin to smooth Jazz. You wake up to it, do yoga to it, have a drink with it, maybe ride an elevator with it. You need something easy going down for your troubled head. This would be perfect for that.

Hard to tell if we are to build a romantic scene with star-crossed lovers looking at decorations from the rafters at the high school dance. It showed some deft use of adjectives like 'shining' or 'unquenched.' This is worthy of Happy Hour.

Nice going,

B


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814
814
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This poem made some good use of form among other poetic devices to tell a sad tale of departed love. It's a poetic vignette that gives a glimpse but not a story of loneliness.

What I liked were the weaving lines that end with the title words, just like putting to sleep. There is contrast between the two opposing verses, showing together and apart, both with same end result, which is irony.

What I found with two expressions was a good device and a flawed one. The first, technically, "warm breath / caressing my neck..." seems possible and gives a feeling to describe that togetherness. The second, "clutch your empty pillow..." did not work technically or metaphorically. I get the image you're trying portray, but doesn't sound right.

Overall, good work. You have something to work with here,

B


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815
815
Review of Hurt  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
This was very sad, a story about a girl who would like their parent to stop being a Scrooge at Christmas time and put the family ahead of responsibility..."for once."

What is categorized as a poem is more of a letter to acknowledge the need to make happy memories during the holidays, maybe a recollection of past events that divided a family in need of parently love.

There are expressions in here "tears running in swells...", for instance, that could be used as poetry, but no form, meter, rhyme to support this category. As a parent, I see this as the basic plot for a lifetime movie or a Suess book. Just needs some development.

B


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816
816
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I read your short tweet of prose "Sometimes I Wonder"  and stopped to ponder your pontification, if we are left to only wonder about life's greatest questions. There's not much text to go on, but you set up your intimation and sum up with conclusion well, in short order.

My mind goes to..."Whether it is better to suffer the slings and arrows..." A lot of the thinking and theorizing about "Man's questions" has mostly been done for us. Why struggle to wonder when you can just Google something?

There are different approaches in philosophy and some wrong-headed conclusions. Without knowing what unanswerable questions Man has been wrestling with, it can be concluded we are all left to wonder without fact-based evidence. You are right! You sum it up so quick here.

Man is ceaselessly prone to wrestling with matters akin to a strong man who tries so many different ways to load a box he's not meant to lift without machination. We all think we can figure it out, find a new angle no one ever thought of, where many have tried and failed.

Only through new technologies are we getting closer to solving many of life's biggest mysteries. My favorite, the hunt for the God particle. But, won't we still doubt if we find proof of a greater existence?

We are Men.

Loved this mini-thesis,


Brian


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817
817
Review of Black Cat  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi The Ink Maiden~ ,

I am reviewing your poem "Black Cat"  because you have been chosen as a Spotlight Author at "Angel Review Forum" .

There are several items in your portfolio that I could review, but my mind kept coming back to this poem. I have a personal/special relationship with three cats in my house and have Respect for felines in general, and was inspired to give you feedback.

Now in your description line you say 'we,' but not meaning you, as in identifying as a cat, but giving voice to an abused, maligned creature. And, I imagine if you Google, there must be some origin to the ignorance towards cats that lasts to this day.

Cats are some of the most beautiful creatures and house pets. Identifying them with witches should have ended centuries ago, except for that infernal Halloween.

Your rhyme scheme did miss a beat and the meter/syllables showed no form, so it's a bit rough structurally. The tone and message are good. I'll bet you could do more to get a nice flow with this. Some suggestions?

You could still rhyme while changing up line breaks. Your first couplet you could remove 'the' before 'moonlight' and Voila! perfect rhyme/meter. Maybe, the next two lines you could mix up lines and words to get:

"Prowling stealthy, he appears a sight
Gives the superstitious quite a fright."

And so on like that. I would have fun with those verbs, make more active. I reach for my thesaurus for a shorter or longer synonym, especially with adjectives, when I need a smoother sounding line. I learn a lot of new words in the process. It's puzzle building really.

I think you've done a nice job with your poem's statement. The repeated words in the same do nicely. If a longer poe, could have repeated. A good poem like this once polished could be used by magazine publications aimed at everything from pet care to children's rhymes.

I hope my feedback was useful. Thanks for supporting our friends,

Brian

** Image ID #1940845 Unavailable **


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818
818
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi lezismore-moreislez ,

I am reviewing your poem "Shadows of a Gunslinger"  because you have been chosen as a Spotlight Author at "Angel Review Forum" .

This was a rare treat to read a Western poem, with a gritty feel to boot, and had a driving hook with the use of 'Shadows,' giving it a special flavor.

What I found that was solid with the form used was practical progression. You start with him staggering, losing his bearings, things get fuzzy, Grim at the ready, soul flight, last breathe, carcass and cue the vultures! What's also consistent is symbolism related to this scene. I can imagine someone from an Eastwood film, Mexican border, flowing cloak and gun, it's arid, midday, throw in a cactus or two and it's a dismal scene.

While repetitive, "Shadows of..." works well as that driving hook. Like, death persists, keeps coming in couplets until the ultimate end. What was a little off was meter. First stanza I count 7,6,8,6...2nd: 6,6,7,6...3rd: 7,6,6,5...4th: 7,7,8,7...5th: 7,6,6,6. Now, they don't have to be all perfect, but rhyming lines sound best with same syllable count. Maybe verse three needs revisiting? I count 'scythe' as one syllable, so sound short to you? It's your poem.

Did catch one stray word that maybe you left behind after an edit in stanza four, line three: "the" is hanging out.

I really enjoyed this scene portrayed in poem. It's refreshing to get a different flavor with such crisp imagery to help it along.

Kudos,

B

** Image ID #1940845 Unavailable **


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819
819
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
For a writing exercise, I could see some similarities of what you are doing here with some similar movie heros who go on one more adventure before their retirement. The sequel would be to bring them out of retirement, another theme that's nearly a genre.

Your main character has those no-nonesense traits. I'm not up on fantasy like this. I'm picturing Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzneggar as the lead. But, there's some TV actor whose name I don't know that I could visualize.

Context would have been good, especially dialogue, so I could imagine the scenes you were portraying. There's the old, will the wife be able to put up with you around bit, too. It's a good writing exercise with crisp scenes, depictions, but too cliche?

A lot aging actors still play leads into their fifties today, without too many too old for this stuff. I like the idea of a replacement as an adversary, maybe planning to do things different, wants old man out of way?

Oh, now setting is important. The king was hard to picture, not knowing if this is future, parallel universe, or how this fantasy genre accounts for someone in employ of royalty. Not any ruling kings of note anymore.

Good writing exercise. I hope you were able to do more with it, take story further.

B


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820
820
Review of Nightmares  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi birdie ,

I have come to review your poem "Nightmares"  after reading a little bit that you shared on your portfolio. And, I see you like some of the same categories I like to call on when I write, Death, Dark, Emotional.

It's a sad poem about the loss of a friend, but the majority of the poem is your reaction to it. It must have been devastating. What's even sadder is you say, "I hear her screaming in my head..." Either you imagine such a deep connection of loss with her that she haunts your thoughts, or worse, present at her untimely passing. It's dark and sad stuff.

Remorse is probably the heaviest word. Guilt? Sometimes, we imagine we are to blame for the loss of a loved one, if we had done something different. Regrettably, multiple people, including parents go through this when coping with grief.

Your poem gives tears to think that someone still alive and can write such visual, emotional poetry and is suffering to write such dark verses. I hope it's fictional, because then it would prove your gift.

Thank you for sharing your writing,

Brian


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821
Review of Confessional  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was intrigued by your poem "Confessional"  and read it through several times so I could understand the symbolism and the imagery and what you are trying to portray with this.

Visually I imagined a person not able to stand up, was laying down with the snow in their palms, otherwise forming a snowball, or maybe snowing so much while hands extended while pleading we're left covered? So, now I'm getting lost and try to read more, and discover the person is standing. And then the person who is speaking in the poem seems reverent, and I could only imagine a Catholic priest. But I can also imagine a person the intoxicated one is confessing to is the one he cheated on.

The last stanza, the one I had to work on the most, was most befuddling. The mother Mary could've been his wife and that she is pregnant with a child. Otherwise, I'm lost in some Catholic saying to pardon someone.

The poem ends starkly and makes me wonder if there's more. But all I can really take away is that someone had an impression of this man who had a dalliance and cheated and wanted forgiveness while he was drunk in the church parking lot. It's poetry in itself with clues to make a reader try to put it all together.

Bet if I keep working I'll see more of what the poet is trying to convey. (Reread three)

Okay, I got more. There is a date in the description line. Like that's when this event actually happened. What's ironic is he's asking to be pardoned outside a church by his significant other. If so, I'm so sorry. And since it happened in August, he's learned he impregnated the person he cheated with, three months earlier.

Okay, I worked through it now. I start writing reviews and get ahead of myself before I have that 'hey, wait a minute' moment, backtrack and do a little more groundwork. Guess, when I start typing I can see stuff adding up. Ever happen to you? Wonder how many people I shortchange with a review because I don't do my due diligence?

Now I can say that is brilliant writing. Maybe, personal. But, life throws us these moments that make for literary gems.

Well done,

Brian


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822
822
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I have read and digested your poem "Brushstrokes of Humanity"  coming away with two feelings, as you can imagine. Life is tragic and life is beautiful. We have little to say about all that lies between, but we know the news headlines will not bother to touch the joy of your ending verses, unless it's the mandate to end a broadcast on an up note after depressing us yet again.

So, we are left feeling life is mostly tragic. Your poem teaches us to take comfort.

I'm also reminded of the loved ones left behind. If this poem could have an unusual twist for me, it would be to take your contrasts and give them each a connection. That somehow the charmed, normal lives were in fact hfamilies affected by the tragedies and still managed to move forward. I would hope we could teach people strength in the face of adversity.

I'm also reminded of bravery, people who stood up to ISIS and lost their lives protecting others. The people on that 911 flight who fought the hijackers to steer that plane away from its intended target (White House, maybe?); helped a nation on one of our country's darkest days.

Your poem does give this reader cause to reflect and appreciate what you've done here. You give the gift of perspective. Now we need to find courage and pride for those who still make life possible.

Great work!

Brian


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Review of Quantum Communion  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
-It's amazing how in a moment when we feel sorrow beauty can rise from one's soul. I read your poem "Quantum Communion"  with great interest, intrigued by some unusual depictions of imagery to help my imagination feel your words.

What I read is solely my interpretation not intended to supersede the poet's true vision/intent with this poem. You create a dark and chilling scene that made me feel something cold and loved and this passionate voice connected with it.

The central line in all of this is: "Glittering spatters pooled in the soils of my core." There was chill, a wind, a Spark, then rain before that moment. It's like this narrator connects with those moods, maybe moved by the words of a dark poet and wrote a response to show a relation. How something sad can connect in soils...odd word. But, it spawns flora.

And, a "red rose unfurls." That's love. So, no doubt that spark ignited a passion for something.

Quite unique and a pleasure to be able to react and share my thoughts,

Brian


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
824
824
Review of Guess I am  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
his poem reads like a long, rambling dissertation of I'm waiting to find out what will happen to me. Perhaps, doing and saying all the right things, but without a thumbs up from Him, no guarentees about whether your life of steadfast convictions, being virtuous, will ever amount to anything...doubt.

Your poem sets this up nicely, the scene where we are tired in bed but we are grinding on thoughts that won't let rest come. "Knowing darkness" is most powerful. It makes me feel as reader that evil lurks in that mind. Knowing God knows when you're going through the motions, you wonder where your sign is, where's that one sign to give peace.

Do we not place God in our head to punish our sins by his own word? We are self- disciplining. And at the end you philosophilize that after birth we're being taught to love and obey...it's not something inherent. Yet, while we yearn heaven, it appears it is not for us. I'll take it a step further, society using moral laws to keep order, to teach people to 'love thy neighbor.'

I was pleased to come across this item in your portfolio, good insights,

Brian


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
825
825
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed the concept of your poem "Where Words come to Life"  encapsulating the beauty of literature and the magic of the writing process.

It feels like an entrance to a book of literature to entreat a viewer to what lays ahead, using good literary references and depictions to tempt an audience.

What I didn't find in this poem was an even meter, rhyme or form. Some lines looked like they used homophones and there was some nice sounding word choices while waxing poetic. The only other thing I noticed would be the aim of theme.

You show references to reading, but also about writing. Thematically lacking cohesiveness, I wondered if you could put the magic of the writing process in the front seat of this vehicle. Perhaps, correlating how these maestros conjured up the great works.

You touch on both, but I think it would read better if focusing mostly on writer and the process.

This is magic and inspired as you were no doubt moved to put these words down to share. This is a special piece of writing that you are working on here.

Brian


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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