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True algorithm ia in response from the reviewed. Honed craft over 17 years. I see the good, with an eye to potential. Will never be/play authority of someone else’s words. That’s left to the master of the work. The artist has the vision; I just react/review, illuminate a fuller perspective to overcome challenges faced with those words. I see responses my reviews as affirming. *has references*
 
To see how I review, my feedback is public. Reviews can be set up through email. This page is limiting. *Smile* I accept review credits if I deserve rank. I accept merit badges as recognition, to be earned not bought…my opinion. I buy to support friends to maintain my shadowed equivalency, not pad. I have low vision, ADHD. it’s tripped me up. I dust off, get back in the game.
I'm good at...
Poetry, psychoanalysis. Ideas and notions on publishing process. I encourage writers with my reviews, look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I continue to correspond those who approach, when more to offer. I see what drives, use experience and the overarching mind, connect where each individual’s art derives. Hope to opine where it could take them with their craft. Like to believe, sometimes, before the writer knows themself.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, epiphany, emotional, drama, human interest, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, speculative. Not cookie cutter fantasy realms or choose your adventure. Action/adventure. Unique, surprise.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay/opinion/blog
I will not review...
I’m happy receive an email to discuss first. I set this to receive 9k. WDC gets the rest. No page here I know of to collectively or categorically see, compare reviewers for hire. That might be a worthy tool.
Public Reviews
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851
Review of God Send  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is an interesting piece of psychology that I am reading. I am a self-professed vain person who seeks attention but doesn't always reciprocate. I was looking for something along the lines of narcissism and saw some pretty good monologuing here.
I think if you can work in some examples of behavior that readers can relate to, you could really get their attention with this poem. You use some good words like treacherous, superfluous and malicious.
The narration has a feel of what I am familiar with. It seems like an inner dialogue that I have where I struggle to not put myself above others when I look at their writing to compare to mine. So, maybe it's based on insecurity and that is what I see with people who struggle with vanity.
Your poem captured a perfect feel and was interesting to read. I did spot some typos with the commas not having spaces behind them and I missed seeing an apostrophe. I would imagine you're still in the early stages of developing this piece.

Brian


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852
852
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I read your poem with great anticipation intrigued by the title and expression 'winter wings' hoping for some illumination. I wonder if these two do make it.

You have built up a story with lines and expressions that suggest the love of two hearts is at stake. I felt you made a good effort but lacked a story or imagery that could suggest what happens.

With a reference to 'dart' I wondered if Cupid was at work. The dream suggestion did not equate. But, your words do have a certain lyrical nature. I didn't know if repeating the last line of verse one at the start of verse two was intended.

Sorry, if I got lost figuring out this one. I wanted to unravel the mystery of the poem's meaning.

B


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853
853
Review of My home; My love  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This surprised me with its form and poetic device describing home. You create a visual feeling with your expressions and imagery.

Poetry looks nice when lines are broken into form. What you have here is beautiful prose could be actuated by free verse style that came emphasize some of your glowing points.

If I may...I want to attempt:

Sometimes
home isn't four walls and carpet or hardwood floors that stretch for miles.
Sometimes the best kind of home has:
two sea blue eyes
a slow beating heart --
home has curly hair
and freckles all over.
This kind of home has lots and lots of skin.
Some patches are rough and scaley and don't hardly move in the sun.
While other patches are soft and silky
and glide over my skin with ease.
The clean pink finger nails of home dig
into the rough patches of me
and make them soft. They tear open a world of love I never knew
and would never know again.
My home has a name that rolls off my tongue at 2am
when even the neighbors know his name, too.
My home knows no bounds
and never takes no for an answer.

And that is just the beginning. Removing a few words like 'the' and 'and' can highlight the important words more.

You have great expressions but I feel this poem is unfinished. You never pitched a name. This is a great start. You could work it up more. The process of editing is very beneficial to writers like us.

Good show!

BK

Another newbie review at the behest of my mentor, GabriellaR45 Four and counting...


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854
Review of Shattered  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Great masquerade! The use of masks in your poem is a great device to convey the poem's voice and the people who come into the life of this person.

My original notion was this person was hard and could see right through people, leaving them feel vulnerable. Powerful. Their masks break is a great expression and how this is similar to a mask slipping. It's like true self is exposed once they can't cover their faces.

What I didn't realize was the narrator was suffering and wanted to find this perfect mate. The one who would let their mask break and not feel shame but offer the pieces as a gesture of will you fix me? This poem/voice sounds like someone who needs another to be more of a slave, which gives the reader a deeper understanding of psyche. What goes to motivation is we want control in a relationship when we've been hurt before, unable to trust.

Your poem has a few grammatical errors, but I don't see any edits since it's creation five years ago. A stand alone piece that stands on its storytelling merit.

Intriguing poem with good poetic device.

B


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855
855
Review of Full Moon Travels  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is great fantasy and escapism that gives me pause to wonder about the person who fanticizes like this. It reads like a coping mechanism to finding peace in oneself, away from hate and abuse.

Imagination is great when it can take us on a journey like this. We imagine visiting others' dreams. I did wonder who the companion was that has the power to communicate. Does this narrator of the poem not sleep alone? If the cohort is a pet, does the writer give it voice heard by its master...since it's fantasy?

"My soul flies as if pulled by a rope," is a great line! The spacing for this piece was odd and not as easy to read, but isn't so unusual -- just that a poem usually groups lines with its thoughts. But as one long passage, it reads fast and continuous to end.

You have a fun, light subject within a character who may be suffering which is sad. Touch of melancholy from this for me.

BK


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856
Review of The Echo  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
There is a good spiritual quality to the poem that romanticizes love using the senses like personified parts of the person(s) to search for love but only finding the undescribed echo.

I think the romantic tone of the poem lends to the emotional. I caught some sentence fragments that read like unfinished thoughts, especially the sixth verse.

What is tragic is that the search seems hopeless, and even if the love returns there is fear that it's dead. This poem has good structure and tone with its voice. The language could be fresher, since poetry is about wowing us with a new masterpiece of art, avoiding the cliche. Though, your words in most are strong and relatable to many readers here.

Thank you for sharing your sad but intriguing poem,

B


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857
Review of Beautiful Fall  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there QPdoll !
I'm reviewing your poem as a member of...

** Image ID #1940845 Unavailable **

This is a poetry form that looks familiar to me but I have never put a name to it. You've done really well, staying true to form and throwing in an ominous moment that I did not see coming.

Fall is my favorite season to poeticize. Poeticise? No help from auto-correct. *Laugh* Your images are simple and straight forward. And thank you for 'loosestrife.' Never knew the name of that plant. Our village has it everywhere. And, with this poem, you do well to work in senses: smell, touch, sight, sound...

If I could be picky for a moment, you went one syllable too long in line two. (Or-ange) I'm guessing you counted as one. If you drop 'do' from that line it will sound very smooth. It's difficult to write perfect meter with rhyme and you do very well.

"As the trees sway, I hear them moan
While I stand at the gravestone."

Now, the gravestone got me. Very somber. Made me pause. Felt something. I almost wish a longer more somber ending because it skips right along after that. No foreboding and nothing to connect to that image. A reference or something would help a reader. It's real good. It jumped out at me like it came from another poem.

Structurally, one the better poems I've seen in a great while. You've really got a handle on your form on multiple levels!

Congratulations on being a featured author this month,

Brian


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858
858
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
There are repeating hooks in this poem that create a lyrical sound and a taste of ye olde style poetry.

We are doing a dance with repeating words that for me sounded a cadence. I sensed a missing word in the first line, stumbled out of the blocks and started again. I also noted a lack of punctuation making this breathless, in a run-on style format. I think punctuation and line breaks could aid in not getting over-revved on these words.

I can imagine an old tyme sailor being manacled to a mast and uttering his verses in broken English. Even just a little action, like spit at her feet or snarl at her. He's definitely dirty, got tattoos and gnarled, black hair -- torn clothes maybe? He comes to life with his dialogue. Nothing about her, though.

The poem had a gritty, dirty feel to it without being naughty. Bawdry? But it needs shape, perhaps back story or something going forward, otherwise just monologuing. Even last stanza just punctuate with question mark. It's good but could be polished.

B


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859
859
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"But whether you hold true to evolution or believe in intelligent design,
Can we not as one accept that our mere existence is divine?"

This poem evokes a message of thankfulness and peace. In traditional form, this poem is graceful and does not strain. Questions about existence could be debated forever, but shouldn't we live in awe of how this beautiful world functions rather than worry who gets credit.

It's a precious message that sets science aside and reminds this reader to just smell the roses, breathe. I couldn't suggest sticking to line lengths or meter when the message says it all.

B


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860
860
Review of Come September  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Eyes can express a lot and give a reader a glimpse into how the narrative gives us unique insight into love's early questions.

I found this poem to quite simply tell of young love, how one could read doubt in another's eyes until love is secured at the end of the summer season. Green eyes is a good choice, implies young. The characters not too well developed and this poem is more like a Polaroid than an album of memories captured. No flower descriptions, no scents from a garden. We only touch upon the metaphor before it is over.

I want to feel his doubt. The narrator holds the key, but we don't know how love acquiesced. Using seasons, flowers, time related elements all structured a potential intriguing story. I wanted to see and feel more.

I think this piece does well to tempt a reader but leaves too many questions as to why he became the one.


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861
861
Review of Carnival Thrills  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ah, you got me. I didn't see this coming. Though, I had my wonderment when you say,

"You wanted an angel,
tried your luck and then lost."

Foreboding perhaps. This poem was snappy, a quick read. It was set up well with just a bit of an awkward line, 'It didn't seem just right," trying to get right line length.

Amusing to me, but then maybe the slap to the evil face should be taken as a more serious tone. Great storytelling in short form, too.


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862
862
Review of The Stone  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A poem about rebounding from rejection of love. I read poems like this with keen interest. It is my milieu.

"My ink runs low." The first lines set the tone, the mood, and make for great expression and theme but the rest of the poem strays. It's a good start but then the heart as the stolen object arrives and we get off track.

I do appreciate the poet's passion here. Psychologically it reads like someone has been hurt and trying show themself (more than their ex-lover) that they are not hurt but stronger with this newer, less (un)breakable heart.

But if the heart is stolen, it is not replaceable, figuratively. I imagine we become callous, dark, heartless. I would go in that direction myself. The last stanza was about the soul leaving, too. A replacement heart without a soul? I guess that it pretty dark stuff. I don't advise anyone be a rebound partner.

Unfortunate to say, 'methinks thou doth protest too much.' We suspect there will be much longing for some time. That's what makes this poem priceless. We can read beyond the intent of the words.

Writing is a healing process. Get that heart back and mend it. The soul cannot be far, hiding out on a swing in some playground. It will return by dark, hungry and ready to be fed new love again. Sometimes, we get too caught up in what we can't have.

Keep writing and loving. Rejection will kick start our senses, make for greater writing to come.


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863
863
Review of Crypt of Flesh  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A strongly worded anti-abortion poem that gives voice to the foetus that starkly depicts the process of removing the unborn child. The details are graphic and connect deeply and emotionally. This is a message meant to illuminate readers to the notion that no one is speaking on behalf of the unborn child.

"The face of my killer, never to pass my eyes," comes strong. I think the voice doesn't consider forgiveness. Calling the woman who opts to abort 'bitch' disconnects us from what the baby would say and shifts to the third party observer who empassion pleads. I would try to supplant any for agenda. So many possibilities to humanize child by gender, genetic predisposition, adoption, etc.

Give child option of nice home, a chance at a purposeful life. Becomes too much political leanings and we want to break down walls of resistance to informed choice.

B


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864
864
Review of Missing You  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a poem about regret...a love lost. It reminds me that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But, is this poem about a love addiction? Does the poet tempt the reader to see the true weakness in the voice of this person wanting to go back to someone they left? My question is what caused the break up and why does the person they left need defending.

I think poetically some devices are lacking. But, there is a story here that intrigues. I think we only remember the good times when we are sequestered from love. It could be an untold tale of abuse, someone who was selfish, deceitful. I don't doubt that there is true sentiment in words longing for reconnection. That is tragic. That is why I am compelled as a reader to view this.


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865
Review of The payment  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I can imagine a man and woman at a bar on a date when he sees someone else of his liking. What's interesting is this women can use his eyes to envision that he seeks someone else, a different kind of conquest. She is ready to split because she knows he wants a woman who we might describe as easy. I wonder if the line, 'she will not come cheaply to you' is a veiled threat. There is so much pent up seething in this poem. All woman. Very strong! He is missing out.

This free form poem works well. I don't think the long, middle line is necessary and can be broken up. Solid voice. Well conveyed!

B


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866
866
Review of The Army Mother  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
What came across in this poem, maybe unintentionally and possibly ironically, is that mothers are the true soldiers. It was quite poignant to see this poem of a mother letting go her son for a year in military endeavor.

The traditional rhyme was uneven at times but the message was not lost...the lines piled up in those ending verses. Would suggest sticking with four lines. It's okay to continue a thought after a line break. I would work with the meter some more and find the right line lengths without altering a very relatable message.

A very emotional and personal message that touched this reader's heart.

Write On!

B


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867
867
Review of The princess  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I loved the repetition of she's only three. I feel as a reader I'm following this sweet little girl around as she cavorts in a princess costume and plays make believe.

The narration also helps as a parent who can imagine taking this tone when relaying these fictional events invented for poetic storytelling that could be shared with the child at play.

You had perfects quatrains at word until six lines were forced in one stanza. You can edit it down or create an extra verse from this. Because you use traditional rhyme you want to stick to a pattern or scheme. Free verse poets are the only rebels who get away with odd stanzas.

This verse stood out brilliantly:

"As night comes upon her and stars fill the sky
She will put down her scepter for bedtime is nigh.
Her ladies prepare her a place for her sleep
And guards watch her doorway ensuring her keep."

You have such a good subject, theme and style at work here that it would be worth the effort to polish this up and focus on boiling this poetic story down to essentials. It's hard to delete. But just think, you can get to display the longer, unedited version when this edited piece becomes famous.

B


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868
Review of Lies  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This would make an awesome rap! You unleash feelings toward another to express themselves so you can understand where they are coming from. This might not be your standard poetry type, but lyrics for sure!

You have a natural rhythm and flow to your words. It comes out on point and the message starts to get stale at the end. I would work on getting a hard finish because that really drives a point home. Repeating lines can help with the tone of the message.

Keep writing!

B


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869
869
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This poem reminds me of stream of consciousness writing. It's worthy and it is something I do because I don't want to lose the moment when an idea has formed and my muse is urging me on. When finished, I take a step back and start editing the content for form, gammer, etc. to help it take shape.

You had a couple your (s) that should have been you're(s). The expression loses weight with tired phrases like 'take a pill and relax.' I like to think poetry is about testing our literal boundaries to find new expressions that capture a reader's imagination. Writers want to work on the reader's senses.

Good effort and great lyrical sounding word play. Keep writing!

B


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870
870
Review of Christian  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I was captured by the cadence of your words throughout the poem. The opening read like a riddle, but then the voice begins answering the thoughts.

There is so much vivid imagery in this poem that is building with a good tone and message. But, it may have gone on to long with its contradictory word play. Like a good song, you want the best verses to back up the chorus. It turns into a meandering thought, perhaps lacks summation like the poet is questioning, 'where was I going with this?'

But you have such an easy manner with your words and depictions, that it will take very little from an editor's pen and the addition of a solid conclusion to bring this poem home.

Brian


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871
871
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is good. Like William Carlos Williams, take a sentence and break it down to its parts. We can examine each part of the statement in this way, milk those words and expressions to truly understand the author's full meaning, as the poet downward spirals.

Even though it is melancholic, it is dreamy in it's reverie. "This hazy, smokey place..." could be hell, purgatory, a place of torment, or you're smoking cigarettes in a jazz club next to Bogie and Bacall. Nick went through a lot of torment, too.

But 'lost and forgotten/broken and beaten' is much darker. The tone is set, the imagery is limited, but the reader can put themself there, imagine what this place is. Poetry should be open to interpretation as it opens our eyes, minds, hearts.

While brief, I think it's poignant.

Brian
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Review of Sharp Edges  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Lydia,

I read your poem and want to call attention to its remarkable impact on me when I read.
There is a message in this poem that awakens this reader, and there is a hook with form to convey meaning with purposeful expression.

What I got from your poem is emptiness and pain, but how it is shown by the image of a rock with pointed edges is mentally disturbing. That was powerful. Your poem made me feel something, like good poetry should.

I had to ask myself why five? Sometimes, we look for too many answers. Probably coincidence, but readers will wonder because of the question how many rocks were needed. Only one was needed metaphorically. And really, the entire poem speaks metaphorically. This is about how this person feels and plans to carry out something -- writing it down for imagination, feeling those rocks once hurled will serve the purpose of repelling forces that are repressive.

How powerful that last rock. I imagined a music video with an animated image of that rock tearing this person open. But my mind wouldn't let the image end there. I saw flowers bursting from a solemn girl's eminence. Something beautiful. Instead of being ugly, it was perfect expression -- like your poem.

You've done well here. I can see you are a blossoming poet.

Brian KC

Submitted as a member of Rising Stars (review affiliation pending), thanks to the inspiration of GabriellaR45 .


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873
Review of Should I die?  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Chloe,

I connected with what you wrote. It's sad because I feel like this sometimes, too. I find I blame myself, or overthink stuff. I want a friend I can tell stuff to. I don't think people understand me in my world. They only see me the way I don't want to be seen.
So I am fixing it.
I told people how I feel about the way I feel I'm being treated. They can explain themselves. I surround myself with people who do want to support what I want to be. It's not bad that people don't get me the way I want to be seen.
I use food to make myself happy. I found I feel like crap afterward, so now I eat food that makes me happy before and after.
I don't want to tell you what to do, but I think the food and people in your life give you depressed thoughts. You should not blame yourself. You are still new at this life thing. Be selfish and live for yourself. You will always have moments of self doubt. You may think you are unworthy. Try not to use others to judge you.
I do try to hurt myself, but in another way. I try to get others to dislike me. I think my brain is telling me that everyone is going to reject me anyway. I feel justified having someone think I'm not good. Ironically, I've always been good. So many misunderstandings in my life made me feel like everyone, even when indifferent, hates me. So, I try to beat them to the punch (old expression) and do something stupid I regret later because I think I'm going to fail as a human. I'm still working on that.
I also get very anxious about stuff, overthink problems. I panic and get emotional in my reactions. Might be hereditary. *RollEyes* I've had a lot of people lose patience with me. I got prescription medicine for that. Life is teaching me to be patient.
Helps to find something you like doing to take your mind off problems. Writing is a great place to start. There ar lots of people here to encourage you. Let us be your friends. It might not be much, but it's a good place to start.
Your parents will come around. Communication problems create nearly all the drama in the world. I have trouble explaining myself, and people think I'm a good writer.

Let's be friends,

Brian

Thank you for sharing. Your words can inspire others who also struggle like you do.

I am a member of Rising Stars...GabriellaR45 Review affiliation pending??


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Review of Medical Model  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed your poem and the theme. I related to it, because it is so apparent our society wants a shortcut to remedy instead of putting in the work to be healthy. We've gone pharmaceutical crazy.

The voice in your poem makes light of the subject, pointing out the misuse, addictive nature. Written knowledgbly and very easy to consume, lending really well to the message, I smiled knowingly as I read.

You are very keen. I like your style. Hope I will be reading more.

Brian
Member of Rising Stars. Lost my review affiliation link again. 🙄 I'm trying Gabriella, I really am! 😇😎 GabriellaR45


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875
875
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I found your poem in a spiritual newsletter...I think,

It's fun thinking about your poem and how your inspiration ties into the theme. Return to Innocence as a song relies on a beat to carry the message along. Your poem is really centered around earth's heartbeat. Structurally, you could play off that, making all your ideas dance around that central word heartbeat, if you place it alone on one line in the center of the poem. Then, the depiction of the past could introduce until you get to your central word and then the poem could end about the future.
I like the title and the idea that all things are connected to earth and its still beating rhythm like a drum.
I also like the current structure of the poem, too. It just made my mind think about how the things you describe could be like ripples in a pond or the idea that we are all linked to another by Mother Earth. Time plays a very important element while seasons come and go. If it weren't for the perfect structure of this planet and relation to the moon and sun, or how it spins just so, imagine...night and day, cold and warm, wet and dry, making it inhabitable with the right gases to breath.
Lots to think about and play with here.
Always a pleasure,
Brian


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