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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Man in Plaid  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Fran,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item that Marci Missing Everyone bought for you.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title / Subject
The title fits the poem nicely as the man in question is indeed the subject of the poem.*Thumbsupl*


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Form and Mechanics
This is a non-rhyming Free Verse poem written in two b line stanzas. As a Free Verse poem, there is no set meter, and no set syllabic count per line. The poem being aligned at left of page seems correct, however; I think the poem would be more visually appealing if it were aligned at the center of the page. It would also look bigger placed at the center of the page. Short, short line poems seem to blend toward the edge of the page.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3.Spelling and punctuation are correct. There are a couple of places where the grammar is slightly askew. Those places are:
1.
"Stalking the darkness"
This line should read (stalking in the darkness.) as it is,, it sounds like the stalker is trying to watch the darkness rather than stalk a person.
2.
"dance into the night"
This line in both stanzas should read (dances into the night.) Other than that, this poem is basically written in short line phrases. Since you use the hyphen in the last two lines, you should consider ending the poem with a period. As to the punctuation being correct, you have chosen to eliminate most punctuation under the guise of poetic license.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Poetic Expression
You followed the prompt to create a very nice poem. Along with the prompt, you use some very vivid imagery in this poem. You can actually see this poem taking place. That's what poetry is suppose to be.*Thumbsupl*


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Overall, this is a very nice poem. The fixes I mentioned are very minor, I just get long winded.I love the way you use imagery, keep painting pictures. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!






































































*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Flying  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Sawyer,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you from "Invalid Item by Samberine Everose .'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title/Subject
The title fits the poem nicely. The title coupled with the first stanza make a very strong lead into the rest of the poem. *Thumbsupl*


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Form and Mechanics
This is a Free Verse poem written in short stanzas. As a Free Verse poem there is no rhyme, rhythm, syllabic count, nor meter required. Placement on the page at center alignment is correct, and it is visually appealing to the reader. Stanza division seems correct as each stanza covers one thought, I would suggest removing the title of the poem from the body of the poem as you have the title at the top of the page.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Poetic Expression
You use some nice imagery to show the reader what you want them to see. You also use enjambment to your advantage. You have also used some alliteration and repetition in the poem. Spelling and grammar are correct, and dialect and diction seem consistent and correct. You have chosen not to use punctuation under the guise of Poetic License. This is not technically wrong, but in my opinion, any poem is made better with punctuation because that tells a person how you want them to read your poem, and what you want them to absorb or take from your poem.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Excerpt
"The bird's beak chiseled with glass
Unused to being used, its legs
Itch for the sky
Itch to walk
On air"
This stanza shows some of the imagery used in this poem, as well as repetition. My favorite verse of the poem.*Thumbsupl*


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


5. Closing
The couplet you use to close the poem is exactly the right way to end this poem. It sums up the whole of the poem nicely.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is a nice poem. A little work and it will be a keeper. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello WritingNoob,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. The first thing that I noticed was that these are three of the stories you have as separate static items in your port. I have read them all again and can give honest observations on them. First I want to say that this is a good way to keep your stories together rather than have them on separate static items. It allows you to open them all at one time, you can pick which story you want to work on, and you never have to dig through your port to find one of them.

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Having the title to each story in bold lettering is very smart. This allows anyone who comes to read this item know that is the title of the story, rather than a connector of sorts. The title to each story fits nicely. Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct on all three stories. I found no odd phrases or forced sentences in any of the stories, and; diction and dialect seems consistent, and correct.

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is nicely done. I would suggest taking the individual items out of your port since you have them saved in one document. Also, I would suggest adding to them so you can make them viable short stories so they can stand alone as full length short stories. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Come Home...  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Princess Zelda,

: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Subject
The title of this poem fits the poem nicely, and in fact; you use the two words in the title as the first and last lines of the poem creating an envelope effect...and a visible thread running from the title to the closing line of the poem. Nicely done.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Poetic Devices
You use some imagery, some emotion, and some praise to weave a nice tribute to our home away from home...Writing.com.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Spelling is correct. There is no punctuation as each line is a complete statement. Since the poem consists of 8 lines with a syllable count of 1, 3, 5, 7, 7, 5, 3, 1, Lack of punctuation is understandable. There is no rhyme in this form... The Joseph's Star Poetry Form. You have followed the rules for the form correctly.

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


In closing, this is a beautiful tribute to WDC. I had never heard of this short form before, but now I have a new poetic form to try. I have no suggestions to make other than LEAVE THIS ONE ALONE. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello S. Z. Kamoonpuri,

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


I am reviewing you as part of the judging for the 49th Contest for
FORUM
The Lighthouse Poetry Contests  (E)
Contests With A Christian Theme
#1742964 by LegendaryMaskđź’—


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1.Subject
The title and the first stanza make a very strong statement, and the title fits the poem nicely as you quote the title in the poem itself. This is not what I had in mind with the prompt however.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Poetry Devices - Form
I'm not sure if you were following a certain form or not, but the closest form I can find is the Blitz Poem. This does not adhere to the rules of that poem so I feel that this was written in a manner that you felt like writing making it a Free Verse poem, as such there are no rhyme, metric, or syllabic requirements. The poem is written on the strength of emotion rather than imagery. There are enough emotional items to carry the poem. I had a hard time with scansion and flow of the poem due to reading from the first line downward with 1, 2, or 3 words per line.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Mechanics and Placement on Page
Your word choices seem correct for the most part. Spelling is correct.There are a few problems with problems with punctuation and grammar. Most of the problem with punctuation is missing commas or semi - colons. You may consider finding something on proper use of commas and more. Commas and semi - colons are the hardest punctuation for anyone to get correct...including me.
1. In the first stanza, in the following lines:
"still don't
you loose"
The word loose should read lose.
2. Stanza 2 needs question marks.
3. In stanza 4, The word "Donot" needs to be separated to read Do not, and the following is very vague. I am unsure what you are attempting to say with this.
4. In stanza 5: "Suicide's" should read Suicide, and th3e following line: "haven't right to bring" should read haven't the right...or - have no right. Placement of the poem on the page seems correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. In Closing
Fix these problems with the poem, and change the line length of the short lines in the poem by making the short lines longer. You could use 6 or 8 syllables per line. The poem would be much easier to read that way than reading it vertically as you have to now. I do not feel that this poem meets the demands of the poem. I have to ask myself if you saw the prompt. This Contest is a Christian based contest using prompts from the Christian faith, or from The Holy Bible. Though this poem points to a problem in many people's lives, it fails to speak about the prompt.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Thank you for entering the contest. I hope you will consider entering the contest in the future bearing in mind that it is based on a prompt each month.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Spring is here...  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Princess Zelda,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Subject
The title fits the poem nicely, and the subject of the poem is actually the title.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Poetry Devices - Form
You use imagery, sight specific and sound specific as pertains to the subject to paint a picture of spring for the reader. You also use enjambment to your advantage. Nicely done! This is an Acrostic poem so there is no rhyme, , metric, or syllabic requirements. A reader will easily be able to hear your unique voice in the poem.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*

3. Mechanics - Form
Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct with the exception of one word. In the last line of the poem
" Enchants every eye that can see."
The word enchants should read enchanting to make the grammar correct. I found no odd or forced words, phrases, or sentences in the poem, and diction seems consistent and correct. You followed the Acrostic rules perfectly. Placement on the page is correct, but is not so pleasing to the eye due to the alignment of the individual words to the left.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Closing
The final stanza...also being the last word of the title is the perfect ending for this poem. Good job. The only suggestions I have for you are to fix the one word in the last line, and to place the single words aligned left. Then the appearance will be much nicer.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is a very nice Acrostic poem. With a little tightening this one is a keeper. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Oldwarrior,

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Before I review your poem I want to thank you for entering
FORUM
The Lighthouse Poetry Contests  (E)
Contests With A Christian Theme
#1742964 by LegendaryMaskđź’—
I also want to say that I love your poetry, and hope you will continue to be a part of this contest .

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Subject
The title is strong, and paired with the first two couplets of the poem makes a very strong opening for the poem.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Poetry Devices
For the most part I found no problem with the scansion. There were a couple of places where the flow was not as smooth as it could be in a couple of places as well. The rhythm was consistent throughout the poem in large part due to your choice of words and your choice of punctuation. Your use of imagery, scattered alliteration, This is a rhyming Free Style poem written in stand alone couplets. As a Free Verse poem, no set meter is required. Taking this into consideration, everything worked quite well together in this poem. The way this poem is written allows your unique voice shine through to make this a strong poem.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Mechanics
Your choice of words is consistent, seems to be correct, and makes the poem a pleasure to read, and helps to make this a strong poem. Diction is consistent. Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct, and I found no errors. Placement on the page is correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Closing
"I will come again, for a second time, He smiled and shook his head,
and from the graves and from the sea, I will raise the honored dead.

So keep your faith, and spread My love, and I will mark you on My list,
and on that day when I return, you'll live in eternal bliss."
These couplets make a very strong ending for this poem. As to the prompt, this would be one aspect of the whole. Good job.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is a strong poem. I on;y found a few places that could use some tightening. You do write with the intent of show don't tell, and have done a good job with that. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello writingnoob,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title fits the story nicely as the main character has a singular goal...to kill a wizard.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling and punctuation are correct. I thing I found one or two places where the grammar is off. They are:
1. In the paragraph beginning with "He sheathed" you have
"causing the guard to stumbled
" stumbled should read stumble.
2. In the paragraph beginning with "Blood soaked the ground" you have
" kicked it down like it were made of cardboard"
this should read they were made.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Plot and Twist
The plot reads straight forward. Dezrar is set on killing a powerful wizard. He defeats a slew of guards along the way. The twist is: the wizard captures him with an enchantment, and a very powerful one at that. No...I cant tell you what happens next.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Excerpt
"Dezrar now had three crossbow bolts protruding from his leg, shoulder, and stomach. He pulled each one out one by one feeling no pain. His strength had grown. No human weapon could harm him anymore."
This gives you a look into the life of Dezrar."


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is a very nice short story. A couple of things need tightened and you have a keeper. Remember, these are my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of No Glamor in War  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello writingnoob,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title fits this short story nicely as the soldier makes the discovery of this truth toward the end of the story.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling and p1unctuation are correct. Grammar is correct with one exception, and diction and dialect are consistent and correct. The one instance in which grammar is incorrect is:
" There is no glamor in watching your comrades die and wonder if you're next to go."
In this sentence, "wonder" should be wondering.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Plot and Twist
The plot is straight forward. The soldier is rushing into battle. Prior to the battle the soldier looks at going into battle as being a glorified thing to do. The twist comes at the end when the soldier learns war is war, and there is nothing but ugliness in war.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Excerpt
". All of this is going through my mind as my enemy plunged his sword straight through my chest."
What a way to end this short story! Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is a good short story. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello writingnoob,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title fits this short story, or story segment as you do have two powers clashing, the dragon; and the wizard.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct, and dialect and diction seem consistent and correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Plot and Twist
The plot in this segment really is non existent as this is more of a narrative about a fight. this is a fight between good and evil, and we get a play by play announcement. There is a twist in this segment.. Who wins? Not telling!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Excerpt
" The great dragon swiped its barbed tail at the wizard, forcing him to create a glowing force around himself. The dragons tail smashed the force, destroying the enchantment. The battle had begun."
This shows a little of the author's imagination at work.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, This is a nice story segment. This can be worked into a nice story. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello writingnoob14,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1.Title
The title fits this short short as the wizard did have a choice to make. Would it be the right choice? Maybe!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling and punctuation are correct, and grammar is correct with the exception of two words that are out of place...or not needed.
1. In the following sentence:
" But hell was preparing for war."
The word "But" is not needed in this line since it is not a continuation of the sentence before it. Simply begin the sentence with the word Hell.
2. In the following sentence:
" He and three other wizards were sent off to find the gateways of hell and destroy the them but"
you do not need the word "the" and you need a comma after them.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Plot and Twist
The plot to this short segment of a larger story is straight forward. Three wizards have a choice to make. Are they going to destroy evil, or not. The twist: they must give up their lives to do so.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Author's Expression
The author mixes imagination with imagery to create this short piece. Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is a nice segment of a larger story to be. Tighten up a couple of places and this one will be ready to insert into the story, or build on. I would love to see this one worked into everything it can be. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Aundria,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title is catchy, and it fits the poem well.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct. I found no odd or forced phrases or sentences, and dialect and diction seem consistent and correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Form and Mechanics
This is a Free Verse poem. As such, there are no rhyme, syllabic, or meter requirements. This poem is beautifully written, and with the author's choice of punctuation, it reads smoothly. Placement on the page is correct, and the line breaks seem natural, and correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Poetic Expression
you have used beautiful, and I mean really beautiful imagery, enjambment, and personification to paint a picture for your readers. Excellent work!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


5. Excerpt
"I envy the evergreen tree.
His bright coat calling
to those seeking comfort.
The birds change course
just to find him."
This is a beautiful stanza in itself written from the point of view of a tree that has lost his leaves for the winter, and it is the perfect intro to the rest of the poem. Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is a very well written Free Verse poem. I found nothing to criticize, and to change anything in this one would only serve to weaken it. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Trail of Darkness  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Aundria,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title is strong, draws the reader's attention, and fits the poem. The title also abides by the rules for this form.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling, punctuation/lack there of, and grammar/as it pertains to phrases are correct. I found no odd or forced phrases, and diction and dialect seem consistent and correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Form and Mechanics
This is a Blitz poem. It is written in short phrases with no punctuation. Each line is to be a short phrase of at least two words. The first two lines begin with the same word. The 3rd and 4th lines begin with the last word of line two. and the 5th and 6th lines begin with the last word of line four. That pattern continues through 48 lines of poetry. The last 2 lines of the poem, lines 49 and 50 are the last word of lines 48 and 47 in that order. The last line of this poem is incorrect as it should be the last word of line 47, which would make line 50 "Fear" The Blitz poem is meant to be read quickly, only pausing long enough to take a breath. The placement on the page is good, however; I think it would be neater in appearance if it were placed in the center of the page.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Poetic Expression
You have used imagery and repetition to weave a trail of fast and furious poetry for the reader. Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


5. Excerpt
"Failure and sorrow
Failure and loss
Loss of innocence
Loss and trials
Trials and heartbreak
Trials and tears"
This shows us some of the author's writing prowess in working with repetition.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Overall, this is a very nice Blitz Poem. Just one thing to tighten up and it's perfect. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Wraith of Time  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Aundria,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title of the poem is strong, catches the attention of anyone who happens upon this poem, and fits the poem very well. Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling, punctuation - non-existent, and grammar are correct. Punctuation is correct in that the author has undoubtedly chosen to not use punctuation through poetic license. I found no odd or forced phrases or sentences, and dialect and diction seem consistent and correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Form and Mechanics
This is a rhyming Free Verse poem written in triolet or triplet stanzas/Stanzas consisting of three lines. The rhyme comes 1in the last line of one stanza with the last line of the next stanza, therefore; stanza 1 rhymes with stanza 2, stanza 3 with stanza 4, and stanza 5 with stanza 6. The author has done an excellent job with this. The placement on the page seems correct and is visually pleasing.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Poetic Expression
The author uses imagery and rhyme to paint a picture for the reader. You can see this poem, or hear it snapshot by snapshot, sound bite by sound bite.Beautiful job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


5. Excerpt
"Now trapped in a prison
Her life not her own
She trills a mournful refrain"
This triolet is one snapshot, and one sound bite that the author used to complete this piece of poetic art. You'll have to read the poem to see and hear the rest.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is a very nice piece of work. I found nothing that I can offer any advice on other than to possibly add punctuation, but that is the author's prerogative. With that said, this is a strong poem with all the right moves, in all the right places. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!



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15
15
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Aundria,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title fits the Poem nicely. This being a Blitz poem makes the title even stronger, in particular with regard to the word "Rolling."


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct. I found no odd or forced phrases or sentences, and dialect and diction seems consistent, and correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Form and Mechanics
This is a Blitz poem. The Blitz poetry form requires no punctuation because - you are not suppose to use sentences or questions in the form. Since you are to only use short phrases in this poetry form, grammar is correct. The form is written in couplets...non - rhyming. The first couplet begins with the same word. Beginning with the second couplet, you start that couplet off with the last word of the line right before it, and continue through the poem in that fashion for 48 lines. Each line must be a short phrase, but at least two words. Lines 49 and 50 are one word lines, they are the last words of lines
48 and 47. That makes line 49 the last word of line48, and line 50 the last word of line 47. The title should be three words. The first word from line 3, and the first word from line 47, with them being connected by a preposition or conjunction. The poem is to be read quickly, only pausing to take a breath. Alignment on the page seems correct, and is pleasing to the eyes.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Excerpt
"Life of Happiness
Life of Beauty
Beauty of calm
Beauty of Storm
Storm of emotion
Emotional Storm
…Storm
…Emotion"

The author ended the poem perfectly with these lines.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


This is a poem about finding a foothold on life...after the loss of a child. In the words of the poem you see that the author has made peace with life. Over all, this is a beautiful poem. The only thing I found wrong with the poem is "The Title, fix that, and this is perfect. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing.



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16
16
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello TJ Marie,

I am reviewing your poem as part of week 12 I write.

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


My first suggestion would be to remove the title from the body of the poem as the title is always at the top of the page. I would also suggest placing the definition of the Acrostic at the bottom of the poem. This would be much better for appearance.

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title fits the poem as the Acrostic is correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling was correct. There were some problems with punctuation and grammar. You had an unfinished sentence here or there, and some of the commas were unnecessary. I would suggest typing your work on MS Word before creating your item. This has saved me many a headache when it comes to editing my work.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Form and Mechanics
This is an Acrostic poem. It requires no rhyme, syllabic count, and no meter. It requires only sentences and phrases, and the first letter of each line must be the corresponding letter of the title. The form is written correctly. The poem is placed in the center of the page which seems to be correct, and is visually pleasing.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Excerpt
"Ruined angel is full of trickery and spells,
One evil one, sees her as unbidden"
Is she to blame for it all, of...?


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Over all, this is an acrostic that follows the rules. There are a few spots that need some work, but once you tighten this one up a bit you'll have a keeper. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!



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17
17
Review of The Beast Within  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello genocris,

' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you by eyestar~ at "Invalid Item.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
I'm not sure about the title yet as I reviewed the segment from April 11. So far...I haven't run across the beast.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct. Dialect and diction seem consistent,and correct. Nothing in this story seems odd or forced. Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


There is really no plot to this part of your story but you have introduced us to a few people. The main characters in this part of the story are geese, and in particular...a goose. What's this? A stoned goose,..or...nah, he's drunk, wait...maybe he's injured? Part of the story.

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Considering the content in this story, it is very well written. Remember, these are simply my observations or suggestions, use them or loose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on writing!




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18
18
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Wierdone,

I am reviewing your story as part of my week 11 entry to I write.

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*

1. Title
The title definitely fits the story as this one is all about Edmund getting Dwarf Treasure.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*

2. Syntax
Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct with one exception. The following line: "He can could climb to the top of Mt. Snifflesnaff and bring us back some of the flame from that volcano," said Dimu. You need to remove either can, or could in the beginning of the sentence. Other than that, I found no odd or forced sentences, or phrases in the story. Diction and dialect seems consistent.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*

3.{/b Plot and Hook
The plot is very straight forward. Edmund is seeking out Dwarf Treasure so he can give it to the girl he thinks he is in love with. He goes on an adventure seeking that treasure. The hook, there actually may be two hooks to this one. I'm not going to tell! One hook takes place when he actually
finds three dwarfs. What's this...? He has to prove himself worthy in order to get that treasure.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*

Over all, this is a good story. I do believe the storyline has been played out before, but you give us a new cast of actors, and new circumstances to go with it. Good job. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!



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19
19
Review of 3R's  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello dogpack,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you by lazymarionette at "Invalid Item.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
Awww shucks, that pesky little "w" doesn't count. Lose it and we have the 3r's. I love that., "necessity is the mother of invention" after all.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling is correct. Grammar is correct with the exception of a couple of lines that are two wordy. Punctuation needs work in a couple of places.
1. In the first couplet1. I would suggest that you change the period after through to a comma as the thought is continued in the second line. It's refers to the three r's in the first line.
2. In the second couplet you do not need the comma in the first line. In the second line I would suggest removing both commas, and place the word and between reading and wRiting
3. In the fourth couplet you do not need the semi colon after return.
4. In the fifth couplet you do not need the comma after galore.
5. In the sixth couplet I would suggest adding a comma after read, and removing the comma in the second line. In the first line, you should omit one of the words "more." In the second line you should consider changing it to "is a treasure," and omit "always."
6. In the seventh couplet you should consider removing the semi colon. You should consider omitting "is to" and consider changing bring to brings.
7. In the eighth couplet you could omit the comma in line 1. The second line seems extremely long but I'm not sure of how to change it.
The author uses stand alone rhyming couplets in this poem. There are four couplets that do not rhyme, and there is one that is a partial rhyme. Where the couplets do rhyme, the rhymes are kept fresh.
*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Form and Mechanics
This would be considered a Free Verse poem since it has no set thyme scheme, and no set meter or syllabic count. Placement on the page seems right for this poem.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Poetic Expression
The author is writing for a contest in this poem in which the subject matter is the three r's of WDC. The author has related the truths about the subject matter in a way that makes the reader want to dig in and get active on the site. Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


5. Excerpt
"We learn when we review;
which should matter to me and to you."


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Overall this is a nice, very meaningful poem, specially for the members of WDC. The problems I have mentioned are minor. Once you straighten this one out it will be a WDC poem you can be very proud of, and others can learn from in a big way. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of "I AM" poem  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you by lazymarionette at "Invalid Item.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title fits the poem nicely as you use the phrase "I am" in each of your stanzas.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling and grammar are correct with the exception of one misspelled word in the second stanza, and one grammatical error in the second stanza. Vanes should be spelled veins. The line ending in "salvation when Jesus rains" has no meaning with "Jesus rains." I You should consider "in Jesus' name." You used poetic license to omit punctuation in this poem. You did use one comma in the first stanza which needs to be removed. I found no odd or forced phrases or sentences with the exception of the one aforementioned. Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Form and Mechanics
This would be considered a Free Verse poem since it has no syllable count, nor set meter. The rhyme scheme is not a set rhyme scheme, but the rhymes are consistent, and the author keeps them fresh. the first stanza contains six lines rhyming each other. The second stanza has the first four lines rhyming, and the last two rhyming each other. The third stanza consists of three rhyming couplets. Each stanza ends in a refrain. The line breaks seem right, and the placement on the page seems correct.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Excerpt
"I cry for mercy for His remnant and me
I am blind and yet I see"
This is a beautiful picture of what Christians should do. More so than praying for ourselves, we are to pray for others. David showed us this in the psalms by crying out for mercy for his people. Abraham cried out for the people of Sodom and Gomorrah, and Moses cried out for the children of Israel.. Good job.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Overall, this is a beautiful poem with the exception of beginning every line so that it began with the word "I" out of necessity. If you were to change this to being from the standpoint of Jesus saying "Iam" you could make some beautiful changes to this poem. The items I pointed out are minor. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on writing!







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21
21
Review of Dogpack Handle  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello dogpack,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you by lazymarionette at "Invalid Item.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
the title fits the letter nicely as you explain your handle..."dogpack" to your readeers.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling, punctuation, and grammar seem correct. Dialect and diction seem consistent, and are correct. I found nothing that seemed forced in this letter.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Body of Letter
In this letter you have explained your handle, and explained how you relate it to both dog, and mankind. You have given us another wonderful lesson on the behavior of dogs, how they need the structure and leadership found in a pack, and how humans have similar needs that need to be fulfilled or their respective societies fall apart. Your goals of teaching, and helping people reach their potential here at WDC. Good job!l


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Overall, you have given us a very good letter complete with educational material. I have no suggestions as to whether or not this one can be made better. Remember, these are simply my opinions and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on writing!

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello dogpack,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you by lazymarionette at "Invalid Item.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
This is a very effective title for your letter. It catches the passerby's attention and says "Read me...Read me."


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Letter From 2011. This letter that you wrote to your friends here on WDC in 2011 was very informative as to what was happening in your life at that time. This was a follow up to your very brief letter to your fans and friends titled "Lightning Strike" in which you let everyone know what had happened at your home, and about the changes that were taking place due to that lightning strike. In this follow up you told us what had been damaged, and how that either was, or would affect you. Even though you had been negatively impacted in such an awful way, you managed to keep things in perspective, even to the point of being able to thank God for the smallest of gifts...a cell phone. You let everyone know you were alright, and you let them know that you would soon be back at it fast and furious in no time at all. You made sure that your spelling, punctuation and grammar were all correct in this letter which is always a good thing. This shows everyone how to write a good letter even though it was typed on the site. Good job writing this. I doubt that anyone was left not knowing exactly how you were, and what was going on with you during this troublesome time. Good job.}/c}





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Bella  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello dogpack,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you by lazymarionette at "Invalid Item.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
The title fits the story nicely as your service dog's name is Bella.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling and punctuation are correct. There was a problem with grammar.
1. The sentence in the first paragraph beginning with:
"Or, like sharing a living space together."
as this is it sounds confused. I believe the word Or at the beginning of the sentence should be They...speaking of dogs.
2. The following sentence seems chopped off or abrupt somehow.
"After about 2 months of trying to find her owner they had no luck."
You may consider something like: After about 2 months of trying to find her owners, they ceased trying as they had no luck. then you could begin the next sentence with the word When.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Content
This is an informative piece about Bella...a service dog and her pack leader, the author of this short lesson. It also serves to remind us that animals are not to be purchased or asked for lightly. They should only be taken into a home after the person/persons learn of their needs, and are ready to be permanent owners of the animal.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Overall, this is a nice, short educational piece about a service dog and her owner/pack leader. Keep the education coming. Take care of a couple of things in this one and it's a finished piece. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do, Keep on writing!


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24
24
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello dogpack,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you by lazymarionette at "Invalid Item.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Group Title
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" I like the name of the group as you have it written here. A group for those of us with disabilities, but focusing on "ABILITY."


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Focus of the Group
The fact that you focus on the positive aspects of life rather than the negative is great. Too many groups for the disabled/handicapped allow themselves to turn negative which helps no-one. Focusing on things such as respect, self esteem, and caring for each other will only better the group as a whole. In the introduction to the group typed in green, there is an error in the last sentence of the second paragraph:
"the challenges life with all our might."
should read the challenges (of) life.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Page Set Up
You have set the page up in a way that anyone who may be looking for a group such as this can find out anything about the group that they need to know quickly and easily.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Objectives
You have listed 7 objectives for the group. Each objective you have listed is a good objective, and will make the group stronger as a whole. Good job.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


This is a great page, for a great group. I applaud you for setting it up. I only saw that one mistake on the page, and I have one suggestion for you. Since you have opened the group to everyone who wants to join, you may consider changing the group name to ENABLED WRITER"S GROUP. Great job on the page...and the group.
25
25
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello dogpack,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you by lazymarionette at "Invalid Item.'

*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


1. Title
Since you love Bella so much...this title fits nicely.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


2. Syntax
Spelling and grammar are correct, and you have chosen not to use punctuation in this poem. I found no odd or forced phrases or sentences in the poem.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


3. Form and Mechanics
This is considered as a Free Verse poem since it has no set meter. The author has chosen to write this poem in 4 line stanzas, with each stanza made up of two rhyming couplets per stanza. The rhymes are fresh, and appropriate for the context of the poem. The author actually speaks as the poem as being a ditty, and it does indeed feel like that category of poem. The placement of the poem on the page is good, but this one may look even better centered on the page.


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


4. Excerpt
"Friendly as can be
Loves everyone she sees
Service dog to a tee
closes the door for me"
This is the perfect way to end this tribute to your dog Bella. Good job!


*Penb* *Peng* *Peno* *Penr* *Penv* *Penb*


Overall, this is a nice tribute/Free Verse poem for Bella. I suggest that you get the punctuation taken care of and it will be even better. Remember, these are simply my observations and suggestions, use them or lose them as you see fit. Whatever you do...Keep on Writing!


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